Snowed in with the Firefighter (Shadow Creek, Montana)
Page 15
Melody stared at the gorgeous ribbon on the box, unable to move it, not knowing what to say. “Finn, I didn’t get you anything. I mean, how did you even have time to buy something? I feel so bad. I can’t take this.” She tried to shove the box at him.
He just laughed and kissed her. “Just open it. I know we didn’t plan on exchanging gifts. It’s little. Don’t worry.”
Her chest squeezed at the sparkle in his eyes and she pulled one of the ribbons until it opened. She gave him a glance before opening the lid on the box. She gently pushed aside the tissue and gasped. Tears blurred her vision, and goose bumps filled her arms as she slowly pulled out the snow globe. “How did you know?”
“I saw you holding the globe at the store, and you had this faraway look on your face. I just knew it was important to you somehow.”
“I can’t believe you did this,” she said softly, turning it over and back upright. Just as it always did, the little idyllic scene inside filled her with a longing for the life it depicted. She wanted that. She wanted to be like those people. Maybe even more now that she knew life didn’t have to be perfect in order to be great. And people didn’t need to be perfect in order to do amazing things.
“Merry Christmas,” he said, leaning forward to kiss her softly.
“I don’t know how I’ll ever thank you for everything. My time here. I never expected…any of this. You. I never expected you to be so great.”
He gave a short laugh. “What did you think I was?”
She smiled. “I didn’t think at all. I didn’t think about anything other than work. And proving myself. So, when I failed or when something went wrong, I crumbled. I came here trying to escape life, but you are the most life I have ever experienced.”
“I’m glad. I’m flattered. And you know I came up here to escape, too. But I don’t want to hide out here anymore. I want to go back to Shadow Creek. And I want you to come with me.”
Chapter Fourteen
Melody stared at Finn, her heart racing. “With you?”
He gave her a nod, taking a step closer to her.
Her phone vibrated, the sound jarring in the quiet room. “I don’t want to answer it, but I should. It could be the hospital about Molly. One of the doctors might have questions.”
“Of course, get it,” Finn said.
She dashed across the room to grab it off the counter. The screen didn’t show a number or name. “Hello?”
Finn’s phone also rang, and she indicated she’d be in the bedroom so she could hear better. He gave her a nod and answered his own phone. Shutting the door behind her, she continued to just hear static. And then the unmistakeable sound of her mother’s voice. “Melody, is that you? I can barely hear you.”
Why was her mother calling her now? She forced herself to answer. “Yes, I can hear you now.”
“Well, Merry Christmas to you, too. You know this call is practically a thousand dollars a minute from the cruise ship, but I needed to get a hold of you. The other day, I was at the hospital for my annual mammogram—no thanks to either of my daughters who are doctors who fail to ever remind me to get this test done—and I happened to run into your boss, Cadence Winthrop.”
Melody’s stomach dropped. Her mother never “ran into” anyone by accident. Bulldozed into people was more like it. But even then, Melody knew Cadence was very professional and would never tell her mother anything. There were confidentiality rules. “So?” she snapped, hating that her mother was already succeeding at pushing all her buttons. This had been the best day of her life up until now.
“I can see you’re already getting your back up. Anyway, there are rumors of a lawsuit.”
Melody broke out into a cold sweat, and acid swirled in her stomach. A lawsuit. She shut her eyes. That couple—they did blame her. Oh, God. A lawsuit. An investigation? No one would trust her again. She would have to defend herself, and that was the last thing she wanted right now. She could barely defend herself to herself. She could barely stand to look in the mirror up until today. “I didn’t…I didn’t know,” she finally managed to whisper.
“See, aren’t you glad I care so much that I’m making this call from the Caribbean? Now, here’s my advice to you: leave the hospital. Yes, you’ll still have to go through the investigation, but at least you won’t have to suffer the humiliation of being in a small town and having people stare or, worse, ask hurtful questions. You won’t have to watch your patient list dwindle as word spreads around town. I suggest going back to the city where you’ll be in a big hospital. You’ll get patients out of sheer need, and no one there will associate you with the lawsuit unless they really dig deep. You’ll be able to start over, free of scandal.”
Melody felt like she was going to throw up. She slowly leaned against the door for support and lowered herself to the floor. Everything was clammy, and the acid rose up uncontrollably. Leave town. Humiliation. Scandal? Everyone would think it was all her fault that baby died. She covered her face and tried taking deep breaths. She couldn’t lose it. She didn’t have panic attacks. She was calm and collected under pressure.
“Melody, are you there?”
Maybe she could just pretend she wasn’t. But then her mother would just call her back. No, the only way to get her off the phone would be to agree with her. Though that may be her only way out of this mess. Her mother may actually be right. “I’m here. Thank you for your information and your advice. I’ll, uh…I’ll start making arrangements.”
“Good. See that you do. I only have your best interests at heart, you know that. You were the one who always saw the world the way I did, Melody. If you only had Molly’s intelligence, we could have been the best of friends. Do say hello to your sisters for me…and my sons-in-law who clearly want nothing to do with me either. I’m assuming you all had a wonderful Christmas together. But don’t worry, I’m not hurt. I’ll talk to you soon.”
Melody ended the call and held her face in her hands as nausea overwhelmed her. How could this be happening? Everyone would know. And Finn. He was waiting for her. She couldn’t tell him this—he wouldn’t understand. He would tell her to stay strong and fight. But she didn’t want that. She didn’t want to have to live in Shadow Creek and face everyone while all this was happening. She didn’t want pity or hate.
Get yourself together, Mel.
She took a few deep breaths and scrambled to stand, adrenaline running through her. She pulled her suitcase out from under the bed and opened it. She had to leave.
Melody crammed her clothes into her suitcase, not even caring that everything would be wrinkled when she unpacked. None of it mattered.
She couldn’t face Finn right now. He didn’t need to be dragged into her mess; he needed to concentrate on getting his own life back.
Maybe if she was lucky, he wouldn’t be waiting for her in the living room and she could escape like a coward and text him later. She was planning on slipping away like a thief in the night and going to see Cadence at the hospital first thing tomorrow. She needed to hear it from her and then resign. She could at least spare Cadence the disgrace of having a doctor who was being sued at the hospital. Then her plan was to text Addie and Molly once she’d left town. It would be fine. Once she was settled back in the city, she would call them and explain what happened. She would never let the distance that had happened before repeat itself. But that didn’t mean she had to see them every single day in order to be close.
But her heart was already breaking at not seeing at least one of them most days of the week. And her niece. She wasn’t going to be able to see her grow up. Or Isabella. She zipped her suitcase shut. That’s what pictures were for.
So her only other problem was Finn. But she couldn’t risk her entire career on a guy she’d fallen for over the holidays. What if it was just this place? What if when they were back in Shadow Creek, he realized she wasn’t the one for him—especially with the hot m
ess she was in now. It’s not like he’d declared his undying love for her. That kind of whirlwind romance didn’t happen to her. Just because she’d fallen for him didn’t mean there was happily ever after waiting for her. She wasn’t that likeable or loveable. She was okay with that. She had always been okay with that. Until Finn.
Pulling her suitcase off the bed, she took a quick survey of the room, making sure she had all her belongings. Time to go. She placed her hand on the doorknob, ready to yank it open, and then stopped herself.
Wait. What was she doing? Running away?
That’s what the old Mel would have done. She couldn’t do that to Finn. She owed him more than that—she owed him the truth. Ignoring the tremble in her hand, she slowly opened the door, not really knowing what she was going to say, but willing to take the risk.
“Everything okay?”
Melody jumped at the sound of Finn’s deep voice. Her eyes adjusted to the dim lighting to find him standing behind the island pouring two glasses of wine. The fireplace flickered and crackled, and the house was the way it was before their family had arrived. They’d shared secrets here, she’d become another woman here, and now she was running away from all of it. She forced a smile as she rolled her suitcase to the door. Her heart was racing, and that sick feeling that had permeated her body when she was speaking to her mother settled into her stomach again. “I was coming out to find you.”
He crossed the room, hesitating when he spotted her suitcase, and gently grabbed her hand. “What’s going on, Mel?”
The tenderness in his voice made the back of her eyes sting as she looked up at his handsome face. Just tell him the truth. That’s what people do. She shrugged. “It was my mom on the phone.”
He frowned. “Okay…?”
She clutched his hand tightly, reminding herself that he was the man who’d believed in her without even knowing her. “I’m trying so hard to be honest, Finn. I…my mom said that the couple…they may be suing me,” she choked out. Her mother’s words and disappointment engulfed her in shame, and she stood there, unable to meet his gaze. But he didn’t say anything except pull her into him and held onto her tightly. She dug her nails into his back, his silent, unconditional support giving her everything she needed. Everything that had been missing her entire life.
“It’s going to be okay. If your mom is actually telling the truth—which I’m not convinced she is, after what you’ve told me this week—this will be okay. You will be okay. It wasn’t your fault.” He pulled back and framed her face in his hands. His blue eyes were steely, his jaw set.
“I want to believe that so badly,” she said, biting back a sob.
“Then believe it. You have to. You can’t run from this. You have to defend yourself, Mel.”
She shut her eyes and nodded. “I know. I just…I feel so ashamed and so stupid. Like maybe I’ve just been a sham all these years. I need to go back to the hospital and get some answers.”
He gave her a nod. “Okay. I think that’s a good idea. You can’t leave now, though. It’s late. Those roads are crappy at the best of times in the winter.”
She shrugged. “I’ll take it slow.”
“Give me a couple minutes to pack up my things. I’ll go with you.”
Ugh. How could he be such a great guy? Finn had turned out to be everything she’d ever imagined and so much more without even trying. She shook her head and forced a smile. There was no way she was going to drag him down with her. He’d spend his time defending her and not dealing with his own career. She already couldn’t handle the shame—it would be way worse with him there because what if in the end he left her? It was better for her to end things now. “I’ll be fine. Um, I will, uh, text you when I know more. I need to do this on my own.”
His brows snapped together. “What? Why? At least let me come with you.”
He was being so sweet. She’d never had someone around when she had a problem. It was her own fault, because she’d never gotten close enough to anyone to tell them about her problems. And she assumed that everyone would judge her as harshly as her mother. Right now, the idea of letting Finn go with her and seeing her at her worst was something she couldn’t quite deal with. “I need to do this on my own.”
“Well, I get that. I’m not going to follow you into the hospital. Just let me drive you back. Let me be there for you.”
She pulled her hand from his and crossed her arms over her chest. She couldn’t do that—because if she was fired or if she found out she was being sued, she’d be too embarrassed to see him. And if it was all true…she didn’t know what that meant for her life in Shadow Creek. “This is my problem. I made this mistake by myself, and I need to deal with it by myself. This is all too much. My mom, the family, the pressure at work. And you and I will be such a distraction for each other. You might be taking your career in a whole new direction, and I won’t be able to focus…” Her voice trailed off. It was so lame. Her excuse was cold and petty and just like the person she was when she entered this cabin two weeks ago. That person would have pushed aside almost anyone for her career.
He ran his hands through his hair. “I don’t buy that for a second. I know you want me to, but why? Why won’t you trust me?”
She searched his eyes for something he wouldn’t be able to give her, because she wasn’t letting him in. Rejection and disappointment from Finn would be even worse than from her mother. What if he did begin to doubt her? What if they made her look bad in the trial and, of course, he’d be there, listening? Even if he didn’t doubt her, being associated with her—let alone in a relationship with her, if that’s where this was headed—would destroy his reputation. There was no way she could do that to him. Not when he was just finding his footing again. He’d be caught up in her lawsuit and drama and wouldn’t be able to devote himself to rebuilding his life. “I think we got swept away with the whole Christmas thing, and I think we bonded on some unfortunate similarities. But let’s face it—I’m a workaholic, and I always will be. I’m not looking for a lasting relationship, and you are. You want kids. Marriage. That’s not for me. It’s easier for the both of us to end this now.”
He looked away for a moment. “So that’s it? When the going gets tough, you check out? You just run away like this was nothing to you? And yeah, I do want a family. Maybe you don’t because of your childhood. Because of your mom. Maybe you’re scared to really fall in love with someone and have them really know you. Maybe you’re scared that once you completely open up to someone, they’ll reject you. But you’ll never know if you don’t give it a chance.”
She inhaled sharply. He…was he right? Her mind raced, combing through their conversations, her confessions, and her need to close off anything that made her feel vulnerable. Until Finn. He was the first person she’d opened up to, and he’d made her feel safe. Was she ever going to find that again? Did it even matter?
She couldn’t deal with this now. Not in front of him. “Of course not. I’m allowed to not want commitment. I’m allowed to not want kids. It doesn’t matter why.”
“You’re right. But I also think you’re lying to me,” he said gently. “And maybe even yourself.”
Heat stung her cheeks. “You don’t know me well enough to say that.”
He ran a hand over his jaw. “And I think that’s the most insulting thing of all. I guess you’re right—this was nothing. Because if this was something, if I actually meant something to you, you would trust me with whatever you’re hiding. You would know that I would believe you, that I would have your back, and that I’d help you. With anything, Mel.”
She blinked back tears, trying to hold onto her composure at everything he was telling her and the softness in his voice as he took a step closer. Too close. Any closer and she’d walk right into his arms and trust him like he was telling her to. But she couldn’t do that to him. She was a wreck, and she wouldn’t drag him down with her. “I hav
e to go. Merry Christmas, Finn.”
“Seriously?”
She looked away, her gaze settling on the snow globe. The pit that formed in her stomach was too deep to ever heal. She was making her choice. Her choice was to walk away from people again, people who demanded things of her, people she could hurt. “Good luck with everything, Finn,” she said, forcing the words out, even though they were barely a whisper, before opening the door and walking out into the darkness.
Chapter Fifteen
Finn sat in Ben and Molly’s living room, holding his niece in his arms, almost happy. Full happiness had walked out the door on him two nights ago.
He’d been left reeling. He hadn’t seen that coming. It was like Melody had walked into the bedroom as one person and had emerged as someone else. No, not someone else—the person she was before their time together. From what she’d told him, he knew how hard her mother could be on her. It was killing him not knowing what, exactly, the woman had said to upset Mel so badly that she’d walk out on him and all the progress she’d made. They’d been happy those last few days. It wasn’t fake.
He regretted letting her go without pressing harder for the truth. He hadn’t figured out what he was going to do yet, but he couldn’t let things end like that. He was going to give Mel her space…and then he was going to find her and try to get through to her.
His niece, Faith, slowly opened her eyes, and peace rushed through him as he watched her try to focus. She let out a deep sigh and closed her eyes again. He looked up at his brother. Even though he looked like he could use a good night’s sleep, there was something so confident, so sure, so peaceful that Finn had never seen in him.
“You guys are doing well,” Finn said, more a statement than a question.
Ben picked up the cup of coffee Finn had brought over and took a sip. “I know it’s cliché, Finn, and it’s almost embarrassing to say out loud…but I feel like the luckiest guy in the world. I didn’t know it would feel like this. I didn’t know that I could love this little baby who I didn’t know three days ago like this. And Molly…”