God, what an idiot.
But Elizabeth had seen through it. She’d called him out on his wussy-ass ways. Because she understood him. She got him. She loved him.
No, he couldn’t jump to that conclusion. She’d never said that—never said anything remotely close to that.
But he loved her. That much was clear. No amount of avoiding the realization or trying to run from it would make it any easier to deal with. He loved her….so what was he going to do about it?
Even if he’d tried to concentrate on Monica’s voice, he wouldn’t have been able to hear her over the pounding in his ears. He wasn’t going to run…not anymore. That was the coward’s way out and he was tired of playing that role. Elizabeth deserved better. She deserved someone strong, someone kind. She deserved a man, a real man, not a fickle jackass like her ex who didn’t see her true value.
But he did. And that made him worthy of her, even if he hadn’t saved enough to buy the bar just yet. Even if he didn’t have a car at the moment or a nice enough apartment. He was the lucky bastard who saw her, and she saw him. That’s what mattered.
For the first time in years, he was himself again. Not the bitter, jaded jerk who ran away from his emotions and hid behind meaningless affairs. If he was being honest with himself, he’d been feeling like himself—his true self—ever since Elizabeth walked into his life and forced his eyes to open.
Monica was pouting into her water glass, detailing Charles’s alleged cruelty, when he finally came back to the present. What was he doing here listening to his ex’s problems when he had a woman to woo?
He glanced at the clock. His shift was practically over and the bar was slow—Melody and the barback could handle it until the night bartender arrived. Monica’s head shot up when he slapped a twenty on the bar in front of her. “Go get yourself a cab and head home. You’ll feel better after a hot shower and some sleep.” Or maybe she wouldn’t, he couldn’t really bring himself to care.
She opened her mouth to respond but he was already walking away, off to ask his co-workers to cover the rest of his shift. He had a prom to get to.
Chapter Ten
The school gymnasium was filled with Christmas lights, colorful decorations, and strobe lights—yet somehow it still just looked like a high school gym. It smelled like one too. Elizabeth wrinkled her nose and took another sip of her punch. Sadly, none of these little goody two-shoes students had spiked it so it was just plain sugary juice. What she wouldn’t give for a shot of vodka right about now.
She took a look at the clock hanging over the auditorium doors. Only two hours left then she could go home and drown her sorrows with good old-fashioned alcohol.
Yes, because drowning your sorrows worked out so well for you after your last breakup.
She silenced the contrary little voice that mocked her. First of all, this was not another breakup. Not by any means. And second, she would drink in the privacy of her own home to avoid any of the pitfalls her last drunken adventure had led to.
Like waking up in the bed of a sexy bartender? Somehow that didn’t seem like the worst alternative of all time.
Nope. She was not going to think about Mark. She did her best to focus on the dancing kids before her. When the two couples in front of her parted and a solitary, familiar-looking man headed in her direction, she was certain she was hallucinating.
She had finally lost it.
But as the man drew closer, she caught the dark hair that fell into his eyes, the hooded eyes with their mischievous twinkle, and that mouth—that sexy mouth that was tipped up in a familiar smirk.
Her breath caught in her chest. Mark. What was he doing here?
It wasn’t until he was standing directly in front of her that she was finally able to draw in air. It felt as if she hadn’t breathed since the moment she’d walked away from him the day before. But here, now, he was her fresh air.
Even over the awful music that was blaring through the speakers, she could hear his low voice when he leaned over and spoke into her ear. “I’m sorry I was an asshole.”
Elizabeth couldn’t help it. The unexpected arrival plus his apology made her smile. “You were kind of awful,” she said, but without any of the heat from the day before.
He nodded and shoved his hands into his pockets.
When he didn’t speak again, nerves had her looking around, anywhere but at him. “What are you doing here?”
He tilted his head to the side. “I came here to apologize.”
She nodded, forcing herself to look at him. “I appreciate that. And….you’re forgiven.”
The silence between them grew awkward. “I’m sorry too,” she finally said. “I shouldn’t have said those things. I shouldn’t have judged you. You don’t owe me anything, you never have.”
His smile grew wider and for the first time since she met him, she thought she saw a hint of uncertainty there beneath the cocky swagger. “Don’t apologize,” he said. “You were right.”
Her brows shot up. “I was?”
He nodded. And then, as if ready to change the topic, he reached out and grabbed her hand, tugging her gently toward the dance floor. “May I have this dance?”
Elizabeth probably would have protested if her ridiculous infatuation hadn’t left her marveling at how great his large hand felt enveloping hers. She missed those hands and it hadn’t even been a week since he’d touched her.
Which was exactly why she needed distance, she told herself as she allowed him to tug her onto the dance floor. Just a few more moments of closeness and then she would get distance.
A current pop ballad came to an end just as they reached the middle of the dance floor and after a second of silence, a familiar song started and Elizabeth found herself staring up at Mark with wide, teary eyes.
He pulled her into his arms and she wrapped her arms around his neck just as Prince’s voice belted out the opening line to “Purple Rain.”
“You requested this?” she asked.
He shrugged, his head lowering so she could hear him over the music. “Amazing what twenty bucks will get you at a high school dance.”
She couldn’t help it. Laughter bubbled up, filling her with a happiness she’d been missing. “You bribed our DJ?”
Mark nodded and glanced toward the teen manning the mic. “He seemed pretty psyched to make some extra bucks.”
“That’s because he’s not getting paid. He’s one of the student volunteers,” Elizabeth explained.
Mark feigned a solemn look. “So you’re saying I could have bought him for ten?”
Elizabeth nodded, twining her hands into the hair at the nape of his neck and allowing herself a few moments to enjoy his presence without overthinking it. His arms felt good around her. Better than good. Being in his arms felt like coming home.
She sighed as she leaned in closer and his head dipped so their faces were close, their lips nearly touching. “Thank you,” she whispered.
He shrugged and when she turned her head slightly to catch his expression, she saw that flicker of uncertainty again. “What is it?”
He pulled back so he could look her in the eye. She thought he was about to say something serious, he looked unusually sincere. But then he glanced around the room and grinned. “You know, this is not how I pictured this. Showing up at the prom and sweeping you off your feet. I figured it would be romantic….you know, in a cheesy John Cusack-with-a-boombox kind of way.”
Elizabeth laughed as Mark wrinkled his nose in disgust. “But really, we’re just dancing to Prince in a high school auditorium, surrounded by sweaty, annoying teens.”
Everything he said was true but she couldn’t agree with him. “I think it’s romantic.” And it was quite possibly the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for her. Sweaty gym odor aside.
Her answer apparently surprised him because he stopped talking and looked down at her. For a moment she thought he would never speak as they swayed in time to the song. She would be okay with no talking, she
was too busy soaking in the feel of him. Getting a fix before she walked away for good this time.
She pushed aside the stab of pain. There would be plenty of time to analyze that disappointment later—when she was alone. For now, she was here and she was enjoying herself.
Her eyes drifted shut when his arms tightened around her, pressing her against his hard chest. She sighed and rested her head against his shoulder. This….this was heaven.
When Mark spoke, his lips were close to her ear, and his voice was a husky baritone that sent shivers down her spine. “I like you, Elizabeth.”
She kept her eyes shut, despite the fact that his simple words had her vibrating from head to toe. He liked her.
“And you were right,” he continued. “Everything you said yesterday afternoon….you were right.”
Elizabeth’s heart started to race. What was he saying?
“I have been running. Ever since the breakup, I’ve been keeping people at bay, especially women.”
Elizabeth lifted her head. The solemn tone, the gravity of his words—it was all so at odds with the carefree, devil-may-care man she’d come to know. This was a new side of Mark, one she’d suspected existed but had never seen.
She liked it.
“Mark,” she started. But he placed a finger over her lips. His eyes begged her to let him finish. He needed to finish. She gave a little nod and he dropped his finger, dropping a too-brief kiss on her lips where his finger had just been.
“I don’t want to do that with you.” His words were so soft, so sincere, Elizabeth felt tears pricking the back of her eyes.
“Elizabeth, you are the best thing to happen to me since…well, maybe forever. You’re smart, you make me laugh, and you challenge me.” His gaze was fixed on her with an intensity that was breathtaking. She couldn’t have stopped him if she’d wanted to. And she didn’t want to. She wanted to hear it all, every wonderful, confusing, heartbreaking, toe curling word.
“But more than that, you make me feel alive again,” he continued. “You make me want to be a better person, someone worthy of you.”
She did open her mouth then to protest—he was worthy, of her or of anyone he wanted to be with. She hated the woman who’d made him think otherwise. But she never got a chance because he hurried on, not letting her interrupt.
“I’ve been running from commitment and emotions for years now but you make me want to be fearless.”
Fearless. The word hummed through her veins. It lit a fire inside of her. She wanted that….she wanted to leap forward and feel alive, just like he was describing.
“I guess what I’m trying to say is….” She waited breathlessly as Mark paused to inhale, his eyes fixed on hers. “I love you, Elizabeth Hayes.”
Elizabeth’s heart stopped. Her brain stopped. Even Prince stopped singing as the song came to an end. He loved her. The words echoed through her skull and wrapped around her body, weaving a cocoon of warmth that spread through her. He loved her.
He was watching her closely, waiting for her response. And that’s when she froze. The terrifying whirlpool of emotions had her drowning in a sea of confusion once again. This was too soon. It was all happening too quickly.
As if reading her mind, the intensity in Mark’s gaze faded and his lips tilted up in a self-deprecating smile. “It’s okay.”
“No, I’m not saying I don’t—” She cut herself off. “I don’t know how to—”
“It’s okay,” he said again, this time dropping his arms so he could take her hands in his and tug her toward the side of the dance floor as a fast-paced song started up. The loss of his arms around her left her cold. She was numb by the time he’d pulled her from the gymnasium and into the harshly lit hallway.
Once there, she had to speak. It wasn’t right to leave him hanging. But she had no idea what to say. There beneath the fluorescent, flickering lights, he was watching her. Waiting.
“I don’t want Jason back.” That was not what she’d intended to say, but there you had it. It was something that had been bothering her since their fight the day before and she’d needed to say it.
Mark jerked back at the sudden mention of her ex but recovered quickly. “Okay,” he drawled.
She cleared her throat and tried again. “I needed you to know that. That this isn’t about him. I’m over him, and maybe my sister is right, maybe I’ve been over him for a long time.”
He nodded as if she was making sense and not speaking gibberish, which is how it sounded in her head. But she couldn’t take the time to sort through it all now.
“I like you,” she said. The sudden joy that lit up his features was heartbreakingly sweet. But she forced herself to add, “But I’m confused.”
Some of the happiness faded but he was still smiling at her and it seemed genuine, which was heartening.
“I know I don’t want Jason back but he left a hole in my life and I’m afraid that I’m trying to fill that hole. With you. Does that make sense?”
He looked confused but he gave a slow nod. “I think so. You’re not sure if you care about me or just don’t want to be lonely.”
“Yes. No.” She shook her head. “I do like you. I love being around you. I love the way I feel when I’m with you. I love the me that you bring out. You make me want to be better.” She distantly realized that she’d echoed his words. “You make me want to be more fearless. To live life to the fullest. To not play it safe.”
He lifted a hand a gently touched her cheek with a look that was so tender it was nearly her undoing.
“But right now, I’m so confused,” she continued. “I’ve never done the casual thing and, while I have feelings for you, I don’t know how much of that is baggage from my breakup, or just an illusion based on the intimacy of sex, or…or…I don’t know.”
He reached out so he was gripping her arms, his eyes crinkled up in concern. “Hey, it’s okay. I get it.”
Elizabeth stopped to catch her breath, her brain digesting what he’d said. He did? “You do? Because…I’m not sure I get it myself.” She rubbed her temple with one hand and muttered, “I’m so confused.”
Mark’s soft laugh made everything right with the world. It was soothing and loving and had her aching to fall into his arms. But he pulled back. “You’re confused, and I get that. Earlier tonight, I was thinking about the kind of guy you deserve. Someone thoughtful, someone who appreciates you and cherishes you….”
She silently urged him to continue.
“But what I’m realizing,” he said, “is that what you need more than anything right now is someone who is patient.”
Relief rushed through her in a tidal wave. Yes. Yes, that was exactly what she needed.
“I will wait for you, Elizabeth Hayes.”
Tears choked her as the full force of his words hit her but a lingering fear had her reaching out and grasping the lapels of his jacket. “I can’t promise anything, Mark. I don’t know how long it will take to sort through all this or what I’ll decide in the end. I don’t—”
He silenced the rest of her protest with a kiss that left her burning.
When he pulled back she found herself pressing against him, eager for more. Instead he leaned in and whispered in her ear. “I’ll wait.”
She watched him walk out the door and for the life of her she didn’t know if she was going to laugh or cry.
She ended up doing both.
* * *
“You’re sure she’s coming tonight?” Mark asked for the fifteenth time as Robbie straightened his tie.
“It’s her twin sister’s wedding, do you really think she’d miss it?” Robbie turned back to his reflection in the mirror and made one last adjustment to his own tie.
It was Robbie’s wedding day, he should be helpful and supportive, not pestering him with questions about Elizabeth. “But maybe her flight was delayed and—”
“Connie picked her up this morning. She’s back in the States and she’ll be here, I promise.”
“Did
Connie say how she was?”
Robbie went back to getting ready. “I haven’t spoken to Connie all day. Apparently even speaking on the phone violates the whole ‘don’t see the bride on the wedding day’ rule in Connie’s book.”
Mark bit back the urge to ask any more questions. Because any question he truly wanted to ask, Robbie had no answers for. Had she made any decisions while she was gone? Had she missed him? And most importantly—did she love him?
Hell, he didn’t need her to say ‘I love you,’ although that would be nice. He just needed to know if he had a shot. He just wanted a chance to win her the way he should have from the very beginning.
Robbie turned toward him. “How do I look?”
“Like a man headed to the gallows.” But Mark was smiling as he said it and Robbie punched his shoulder at the bad joke. While Mark hadn’t exactly developed a love for Connie, they’d found a mutual understanding over the past month while Elizabeth was off traveling the world with the nest egg that had been intended for her wedding. Maybe it was because they both missed the same person, but they’d found a bit of a common ground. Truth be told, she was growing on him. Slowly. Like a weed.
Mark slapped his best friend on the shoulder. “You ready to do this?”
Robbie straightened his jacket one last time with a smile that was pure excitement, “As I’ll ever be.”
Mark followed him out of Robbie’s hotel room, one floor above his own. Would Elizabeth stay at this hotel? God, the agony of waiting was killing him. But he’d done it. He’d spent the past month keeping his distance—which didn’t take much effort on his part since she had been out of the country with no access to her cell and limited email. But still, he’d never given in to the temptation to track her down or chase after her. Even though the potential reunion scenes kept him up late every night.
The Morning After: Starting from Zero Box Set Page 30