I’d give up everything I have for her to be safe and well again.
Everything.
I could say she owns my heart, but that’s not enough. She owns every single piece of me. Every single fucking piece.
If I lost her, oh God. I can’t lose her.
I slide into the chair right next to her and take her cool hand in my shaking one.
“Laurel.” I choke out through the tears attacking my cheeks with a relentless stream of fear and panic.
“Babe, please. You’ve got to be okay. I love you so much. I’ll protect you, I promise. I won’t let anything happen to you again. I’ll be home more. I’ll make you so happy. Please, please.” I drop her hand and cry into her side until I fall asleep, and dream of her wearing white, surrounded by the golden halo of her hair, smile beaming at me as she walks down the aisle.
Chapter Twenty
Laurel
I giggle softly as Cassie adds the finishing touches to my hair and hands me another glass of Champagne.
“This is it, Miss Matthews. How does it feel?”
“Amazing.” I reply immediately and Jen comes bouncing back out of the bathroom.
“Time to get you in your dress. I’ll take that.” She grabs my champagne glass, resting it on the table and unzips my gown from its cover.
“You have fantastic taste. This dress is gorgeous.”
I look over her shoulder and stand for a second appraising the Suzanne Neville I ordered for the store, then eventually realised I’d ordered it because it was for me. I was meant to wear it. It’s an ivory pleated organza gown, with a beaded belt and a high, sheer neckline and fitted bodice. The skirt’s full but still fluid, and it has a small train at the back. I love it!
I smile, so wide my cheeks hurt. I’ve been smiling all morning. It may have a little do with the amount of champagne buzzing through my veins, but a lot to do with the man waiting for me. Waiting for me.
He’s waiting for me...
Chapter Twenty One
James
I lift my head and scrub my hands over my face. My eyes feel sore, I’m tired and I’m heartbroken. I’d say I’ve had better nights.
A gentle knock at the door jolts me upright in the chair.
“Come in.”
A doctor walks in with his clipboard, eyes going straight to the monitor as he moves in further, then back to me.
“I’m Dr Bennett.” He extends his hand to me and I take it, eager to find out if he has any news. “I was the first doctor here with Miss Matthews when she came in last night.” I nod, and that takes care of one of the questions I was asking myself, what time it was. I must have been asleep for a good few hours.
“I know you’ve probably had quite a night, but I’m signing off soon, and I just wanted to see if you needed anything before I go. I’ve spoken to other family members but not yourself. Do you have any questions?”
I swallow hard and fist my hands in tight balls. I have so many fucking questions swimming around my head, but none of them can be answered by him.
“Doctor, the questions I have aren’t medical. They’re more of the why her variety and I’m sure you can’t answer those so I’ll just let you off the hook.”
He nods. “I can understand that.” He crosses the room to her bed and takes down a few details from the screen. “She was a healthy young woman before this, and the coma’s the safest place for her to be at the moment. It will give her body a fighting chance at a full recovery but-”
“But you can’t give me any guarantees. Yeah, I get it.” I look at her face and feel my heart break all over again.
“There are no guarantees in life, Mr Dawson. I was going to say there are a few things you can do. Every patient reacts differently to being in a coma, but plenty have reported they remembered things going on around them. Just holding her hand may give her comfort. You could play music, talk about your day, plans for the future.”
Anything is worth a try.
I’ll try it all.
“Okay.” I say resolutely. Now I want him to leave so I can talk to her. I’ll have to ask Blake if he can get me some music.
“Thanks for stopping by. I’m glad she has people like you taking care of her.” I shake his hand again and he moves closer to the door.
“I promise, we’re doing everything for them we can. And we’re monitoring them very closely.” He nods and there’s something in his words that startles me. I think it over quickly. He said them. It should be her.
Them?
“W…What do you mean ‘them’?”
He frowns and looks back down at his notes, searching for something, then shaking his head looking frustrated when he can’t find it.
“I’m sorry, I thought you knew.” He looks back at me and he blows out his breath, and I have a feeling I’m seeing one of those times when the calm and controlled doctor has been thrown off kilter.
“Laurel’s pregnant. Around eight weeks. The baby’s fine. It’s getting all the nutrients it needs through a tube at the moment. We’ll have to judge what happens next over time, it’s all dependant on how long Laurel stays in the coma for. We just need the swelling to go down then we can bring her out. I wish I were telling you that under better circumstances but at least you now know.”
I feel like my hand’s independent of my body as it reaches for the back of the chair and I lower myself down gently into it, my eyes still staring at him.
Shit, she’s pregnant?
“Well, I can see that’s a shock. I’ll leave you to digest the information. I’ll be back on shift tomorrow night. I’ll come back and see you both then.” He quietly leaves the room and so many emotions roll through me I have a hard time distinguishing between them.
I look over at the body lying unconscious on the hospital bed and shake my head in disbelief.
I’m going to be a father.
“Beautiful.” I clear the croak out of my voice and try again. “Beautiful girl. Did do you hear that?” I take her hand in mine and place gentle kisses to her knuckles.
“You’re going to be a mum. You’ll be the best mum in the world, Laurel. We’re here waiting for you.”
Chapter Twenty Two
Laurel
I’m here waiting for you.
I gush as I read the text and then frown when I realise he must be in the Church texting me. That is not allowed!
“Give me that phone. No contact, naughty. You’ll see him soon!” Cassie tells me off as she rips the phone from my hand and drops it in the bag dangling from a loop wrapped round her wrist.
Jen finishes doing up the buttons against my back. I’m glad I have patient Bridesmaids, because they’re really tiny and there must have been about fifty.
“Phew. Done.” She spins me and adjusts the side so it flows out properly. “You look stunning Laurel.”
I tilt my head in the mirror then look at them both. “This is it, girls.”
“We’ve got another ten minutes before the car gets here. Let’s toast.” Cassie picks up the glasses and hands one to each of us.
“Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away.”
I tear up at her words. They’ll always be special to me. The film Hitch will always be special to me. It’s what inspired the way James first approached me at Encore. And he had me putty in his hand. The jerk. The sexy, arrogant, sweet, loving jerk.
I walk down stairs and brush another stray tear away as my mum comes into the hallway. “Honey, you look beautiful.” She grabs my hand and brings it to her chest, resting it against her heart.
“Darling, we have a special visitor.” She leads me into the doorway of the living room and my lungs take in a huge gasp of air.
“Daddy!” Fresh tears bubble over as he opens his arms out to me and I take off running into them on the other side of the r
oom.
“Hey beautiful girl.” He picks me up and twirls me round, taking me back to when I was a little girl.
“But…How? I mean, you’re...” My voice shakes and the happy tears threaten to turn into something else. He brings a thumb up to wipe under my eyes, and strokes down the side of my cheek.
“Ssshh. Just enjoy it.” He whispers. He’s telling me to be strong. To just take it for what it is, and not read into it any more than I need to. I can do that. For him. He pulls me to his side and kisses my forehead and I beam up at him.
“You get to meet James.” I say happily. I never thought that day would happen.
“I do. Screw the letter, I get to warn him in person now.” He smiles down at me proudly, and mum clearing her throat interrupts his watery gaze.
“The car’s here for me and the girls. I’ll see you soon, darling.”
Chapter Twenty Three
James
“I’ll see you soon, darling.” Judy squeezes Laurel’s hand and kisses her gently on the cheek. Between us, we’ve been pretty much talking to her non-stop. The gang come and go and so do my dad and Hayley. They’ve shown us so much love and support.
The only one who hasn’t shown his face in here is Tyler.
Blake said he stays in the canteen out the way, but he’s been asking about her. Apparently he wants to make sure she comes out of the coma okay before he leaves town.
Every day they say they can’t wake her up yet I wonder what it would be like if I saw him, I don’t know how I would hold myself back. Judy insists we don’t lay blame until we find out what happened, and even then, we need to forgive him. She’s a better person than me; I can’t do it. I can’t even contemplate forgiveness.
Every day my heart loses a tiny fragment of hope. I worry that eventually I’m going to run out of it completely. And all that will be left is what could have been. Unrealised dreams, and a huge fucking gaping hole in my chest of just black, dark nothingness. She was the light, and without light, everything just slowly shrivels and dies. Without her, I feel like I might slowly just shrivel up and die.
“James, why don’t you go home, sweetie? Get some sleep, have a shower. Eat, even. I don’t think you’ve eaten today have you?”
All the days have rolled into one big long nightmare. I can’t even remember the last time I ate. Was it today? Yesterday? Two days ago?
“I’ve eaten.” I mumble quietly.
“Okay. Well I’m going to go home and sleep for a couple hours, and when I get back, I’m kicking you out of this bloody room!” She kisses my forehead. It’s a motherly gesture and I send her a half smile of grateful acceptance as she leaves.
My dad went through this. I have a new found respect for him and Judy. They lost that one person that meant everything to them, and they found a way to survive through each day. Not just survive though, they were brought back to life. My dad found Hayley, and Judy had Laurel to get her through, and now she’s found happiness with someone else, however new it may be.
What the fuck do I have if she dies?
I have a child.
A little piece of Laurel and I growing inside of her. This kid is gonna be the most loved kid in the whole world. And it’s going to have its mum to be there every step of the fucking way.
“Laurel, you’ve got to start healing now, babe. They can’t do anything until you fix that perfect body of yours. It’s all on you. If you want this, you’ve got to find a way. Fight for it, for us and our baby.” I hold her hand in mine, and squeeze tightly, then drop my fuzzy head to the bed and close my eyes.
I wake to the sound of Cassie and Jen’s giggling but I stay as still as possible with my eyes still shut so they don’t know I’m awake. I know it’s deceptive, who knows what they’re going to talk about, but I want to give them this time with her, uninterrupted.
“And then this guy came back up the stairs and spluttered out how much he liked Jen and asked if he could take her out. He was actually stammering, he was so nervous.” Cassie laughs, and I feel the bed shake with the weight of their bodies, gesturing animatedly. “Laurel, you would have thought it was the funniest thing!”
“Hey.” Jen pouts, “I thought it was cute. He is pretty hot though, admit it.”
Cassie appears to think about before responding. “Yeah, I guess. He definitely has nice eyes. And works out. That’s a bonus. Laur, I know you would totally be telling her to go for it if you were here, so I’m going to say, yes Jen. You should take that number he gave you and text him. It couldn’t hurt, could it?”
“He works here though. That’s a bit awkward.”
“You’ll be fine.” Cassie brushes it off, and reaches for Laurel’s hand.
“We miss you, Laurel. Get better soon, okay. You have a man here desperate to see you, honey.” She lowers her voice to a whisper. “He hasn’t left your side.”
“We’re all here, just waiting for you to get better and come back to us, Laurel. We love you so much.” Jen reaches over to kiss her cheek and they get up to leave.
They both get up and walk towards the door, “Do you think we should wake him? He should go home and get some proper rest.”
“No.” Cassie says adamantly. “I know if that was Blake lying in that hospital bed, people telling me to leave would only piss me off. He’ll go when and if he’s ready. You know how stubborn he is.”
They leave as quietly as they came in, and I open the blinds in the room to allow some light to flow through.
I take out my laptop and open up my email. It’s how I’ve been communicating with the rest of my team for the past five days. Seb’s been taking full control of The Garrison project which I heard yesterday we won. I managed a slight quirk of my lips when he rang me. I have other designers that have taken on a couple extra projects each, sharing my work between them.
After an hour of catching up on work, Blake and Ryan pop their heads around the door of the hospital room, and ask if they can come in. There’s always someone in here, or waiting in the canteen, and I’m so thankful we have our friends and family around. They keep me from going completely insane.
“What have you brought us today?” I ask with a grin. Every afternoon Blake has made time to drop by and see us with a different CD each time. We decided it would be really funny to play music Laurel absolutely hates. I’m hardly going to play nice relaxing music and let her be happy in the damn coma. This is my attempt at pissing her the hell off so she fights to heal herself. I want her to wake up, attack me and call me a jerk, just like she usually does.
“I was going with a work theme today, so I’ve brought Bob the Builder.” His grin widens as he chucks the CD over to me and I move to the mini hi-fi we bought and stick it on. My ears are already screaming for it to stop after a few bars.
“I felt guilty so I’ve also got Beyoncé’s new album. Maybe she can listen to that later.”
“Thanks.” I lean back in the chair and stretch my arms above my head. It feels good to ease out some of the tension in my muscles. My eyes flick to Laurel, a look of pure peace on her face. I hope it’s not too awful where she is.
“When are you going home?” Ryan asks.
“I’m not.” I say flatly. He should know better than that.
“Just come back with us, grab a shower and a few hours’ kip. You’ll feel better for it.” Blake suggests.
I swing my head round to look between both of them. “Why would I want to feel better, when she could be dying? Every one of her damn brain cells could be vanishing, and you think I should just go home and get some sleep?” I shake my head incredulously, and turn back round to watch over Laurel. I fold my arms over my chest. “You know where the door is.”
“Okay. I’m going to work but I’ll be back in the morning. Luckily I’ve got an understanding boss.” He slaps Blake shoulder, and then turns back to me. They both have a pity look on their face. Assholes. I don’t need pity, for fuck’s sake, I need my girl back.
“Are you definitely going to sta
y?” They try one last time before they reach for the door.
“Of course. Wild horses couldn’t drag me away.”
Chapter Twenty Four
Laurel
“Are you definitely going to stay?” I look up at my dad with pleading eyes. I still can’t believe he’s here. It doesn’t feel real. But as he leans down to kiss my cheek and offers me his arm, a sad sort of happy feeling settles over me. I know that there’s no plausible way this could be more real. I just have to enjoy this time I’m getting.
“Of course. Wild horses couldn’t drag me away.”
I breathe out slowly with relief, then climb into the car, sitting next to him. It’s all so surreal.
“You okay pumpkin?” He reaches out and takes my hand and I snuggle backwards into the seat, enjoying the feel of his strong grip.
“I’m good. Excited.” I smile as I think about having the two most important men in the world together at the same time. It’s like a dream come true. After a few minutes of silence, the 1957 Cadillac Sedan we’re sitting in comes to a complete stop and the butterflies start up the flapping in my stomach in a crazy rhythm. Why the heck am I so nervous?
My dad helps me out the car and Jen and Cassie run over to me, and do their own fussing over me. They perfect my hair, add another touch of cherry lip gloss, and straighten the train on my dress.
“You look beautiful Laurel. I’m so proud of you.” My dad’s sweet words of affection bring tears to my eyes but I will not be a mess today.
“Thank you.” I say, genuinely thankful for how happy he’s made me. I loop my hand through his arm and grip on tight to keep myself from stumbling. I feel so dizzy all of a sudden. But that won’t stop me from making it down the aisle. Nothing will stop me from doing this.
Sweet Affection (Truth Book 3) Page 27