“What are you doing?” I whisper. I see him jump and raise his hand to his chest.
“Fucking hell, you scared the crap out of me.” He whispers back. “And why are you whispering?”
He walks closer round the side of the bed.
“Because my throat hurts. Why are you whispering?” He laughs loudly and shakes his head.
“I have no clue.”
His mouth brushes over mine lightly. He tastes of Coke and fizz mixed with peppermint. Such a familiar taste, I wonder whether I’ll ever get sick of it.
“You’re not mad at me?”
“Why would I be mad at you? I’m mad at myself. I’m such a jerk.”
I pat the side of the bed next to me. “Please?”
“What if I hurt you? You’ve got broken ribs, babe.” I need this connection with him. I need him to make me feel safe, and loved. We nearly lost each other, and now I feel like I want him to wrap his arms around me and never let go. Just like my dad told me.
“You won’t.” I say unwaveringly. “I need you.”
They’re the words he needed me to say because within seconds he’s lying on his back next to me and has one arm draped carefully round my shoulders. There’s not much space, but knowing he’s here and we’re okay will make it easier to get to sleep.
“I’m sorry I didn’t have the reaction you were hoping for today. It was just a big shock. A lot to take in, in one day. But I’ll get there, I promise.” He stiffens next to me, and runs his thumb over my arm, stroking my skin.
“Babe, I should have known you’d need time. Today’s been a highly emotional day. In fact, I’ve had a hell of a week, as have you, and now I really want to start fresh with you tomorrow. Let’s concentrate on getting you both home safely and we can deal with whatever comes next, then. Sound good?”
I nod my head against his t-shirt and breathe him in. Getting home.
“Sounds good. Baby and I had a talk tonight.”
“You did?” He sounds excited and it fills me with happiness that he’s happy.
“Uh huh.” I say as I yawn dramatically. His hand reaches between us, making its way to my stomach.
“Is this okay?” He whispers. His touch is sweet, gentle; full of devotion and love. To me and my baby. Our baby.
“Yes.” I whisper back.
“I love you both so much.”
I place a kiss to his neck and close my eyes.
“We love you too.”
Epilogue
I spend the next four weeks in hospital recovering after being woken from the coma. My ribs heal, although they’re still tender, even now. I had several dizzy spells, waves of nausea, and one morning where I woke up to complete disorientation but with the support of James and my family and friends, I’m finally out of hospital and home. Where I belong.
Today’s the first day James has gone back to work for the whole day and I’ve driven myself insane twiddling my thumbs. He insisted I stay home, especially as he wouldn’t be able to check on me. He’s been super overprotective, but it’s because he cares. I know that. So I haven’t made too much of a fuss. But the man’s going to have to let up soon. He’s going to run himself into the ground doing everything.
The thing that’s taken some extra care, is James’ relationship with Tyler. After a few days of people giving him a wide berth I finally convinced James to pass the message on that I wanted to speak to him. He wasn’t staying at ours so I don’t know where he was going to sleep each night. But luckily, he hadn’t left town yet. It took all my negotiating skills to persuade him to stay. James apologised for hitting him, although they’re not best friends and to be honest, it will take a lot for them to be, considering how James felt about my accident. But they’re civil, and he knows the relationship is important to me. His dad’s staying in the UK for a while with Hayley. They’d been thinking about moving back anyway and I think Graham realises he needs to mend his relationship with James.
I whined a little when he told me not to leave the house today, but he gave in easily when I asked for a compromise; to be taken out tonight. One of his meetings was going to run late so my mum has dropped me off at Encore, and that’s where I’m meeting him.
I walk up to the door and frown when I read the piece of paper stuck to the paint. It’s an apology about being closed for the evening.
Well I guess there goes my date with James.
It crosses my mind that there might be something wrong with Ryan, maybe he’s been hurt. He never takes a day off and in the past two years he’s been running the bar, it’s never been closed on a busy evening. Instinctively, my hand comes out to try the knob and I’m surprised but anxious when the latch jolts free and the door flies open.
That’s strange.
I walk in, slowly, cautiously. The room’s dark, and there’s the faint sound of soft music coming from the bar area at the back. There’s hesitation in my strides when I walk through the archway and as I take in the room, the stutter in my heart beat matches the hitch in my breathing. The room looks beautiful. Hundreds of soft, twinkly fairy lights act like a glowing canopy, illuminating the single table and two chairs in the middle of the wooden dance-floor. A soft gasp leaves my mouth thinking how special this will be for his date.
I push out the disappointment that it’s not Jen, and just revel in how proud I am of my friend. I always knew whoever stole his heart would get the perfect boyfriend and this only solidifies it. It brings a little tear to my eye.
Not wanting to intrude anymore, and desperately hoping he’s not watching the CCTV, I turn around quickly, wiping the tear away, and walk straight into a hard wall that jolts me backwards. I’m steadied by strong fingers that curl protectively round my upper arms.
“Whoa mamacita, careful.”
Ty started calling me that when he found out I was pregnant. I definitely prefer it to grandma.
“What are you doing here?” I ask as he steps back slightly and I have room to take in his appearance. Damn, he’s wearing a tux. He cleans up well.
His lip curls up in a knowing grin, like he’s holding back a secret I know nothing about.
“Tonight, we’re at your service.” He walks to the middle of the dance floor, and turns a chair so it’s facing towards us. He gestures for me to sit, while he walks over to the bar, reaches behind it and brings out a tray. I stand still in shock as he walks back over and pushes me gently down into the seat, then lowers the tray towards me. My heart flutters when I see the solitary pink rose laying diagonally across the tray. With shaking hands I pick it up to read the little white note attached to the stem. My eyes flick up to Tyler’s. Is this from him? This whole thing is really weird. He doesn’t give anything away but his gaze meets mine, softening and showering my face with genuine affection. It moves me so much that the stinging behind my eyes starts up. I drop my eyes to the handwriting and instantly recognise it.
I love…
I suck in a breath and happiness swells inside. It’s James’ writing. What does he love? Me, I know, but I kinda wanted him to say it. I’m pulled out of my inner ‘crazy in love’ gushing when Tyler kisses my forehead, bows his head playfully and turns to walk away.
“Wait…” I start to say but when he turns and winks at me from the door, I know it’s useless. He’s gone. I twirl the rose between my fingers and struggle to keep the massive smile off my face. I look round the room, and try to make out shadows under the glow of the lights then I hear heels clacking along the wooden floors. I angle my neck to try and make out the silhouette and as they come closer I recognise Jess who’s wearing a pretty pink dress and huge grin showing her rows of perfect white teeth.
She doesn’t say anything but lowers the tray in her hand. This time there’s the pink rose but lying next to it, is a maraschino cherry with the little white note attached to the stalk. I laugh and grab the cherry, eyes immediately seeking out the writing.
…The way you always taste of cherries
My grin widens as I bite off the
cherry, and take the rose and note into the security of my lap. Jess looks at me with watery eyes. Why is she looking at me like that? Then my heart leaps at the realisation of what could be coming, but I do my best to push those thoughts out my head because I know the disappointment of being mistaken will leave me heartbroken. He already said he’s welcoming me home. And this is his super sweet way of doing so.
In the blink of an eye she’s gone again, and the only sound is the soft hum of Beyoncé’s Halo in the background. The door from the back of the room opens and again I try and make out who it is before they come into full view. The figure’s tall and wide, I already know that as I’ve seen Tyler, it must be Blake. He’s wearing a tux too, and I’m stunned at the effort everyone has put into this. It’s an amazing welcome home.
He bends at the waist and lowers his tray. One pink rose, and a champagne glass full of something orange with the note attached to the stem. Although I want to read the note, I hesitate and Blake gets why immediately.
“Go ahead. It’s Buck’s Fizz without the Fizz.” I relax and my hand goes straight to the glass.
“So orange juice, then?” I laugh and unwrap the note, fingers shaking even more this time.
…The way you feel when I’m holding you in my arms
A tear falls and I can’t help it. I breathe in deeply, long slow purposeful breaths. Long enough that when I look back up I see that he’s gone, and Jen is walking through the door. Her fiery red hair curls over her shoulders, and sets off the emerald green dress perfectly. She looks gorgeous tonight. I smile with her as she lowers the tray.
“What’s going on, chick?” I whisper quietly, not wanting there to be any way James will think I’m conspiring with her.
“Just glad to have you back, safe and sound, honey.” She whispers back. I nod and try to quash the shred of disappointment. But I scold myself silently for even feeling like that for a second. I know how he feels about me. That’s all I need. I take the rose and read the note.
…How fiercely you love and protect your family and friends. You always have our backs.
That’s so true. I love them all even more after tonight. Underneath there’s a photograph that I run my fingers over as I pick it up. It was taken at James’ birthday party and we all look so happy. Missing out on weeks of your life will give you perspective, and these people are my world. She backs away with a quick wink and passes Graham and Hayley who have come out together. Graham carries the tray in his hand and Hayley hangs onto his arm, eyes full of growing excitement the closer they get. Again, I pick up the rose and read the note.
…That you’re everything I didn’t realise I wanted, until I met you.
I choke on a small sob, and blink furiously to try and stop tears falling but it’s no use. I wipe at them, frustrated I’m being so emotional, but when Graham takes Hayley’s hand and reaches down to kiss my forehead they come barrelling out with such force it takes me by surprise.
“My boy’s lucky to have you. Don’t let him forget it.”
I smile through the tears and nod my agreement. “We’re lucky to have each other.” I say unwaveringly. How can we not be? He’s the other half of me. He’s made me who I am, made me strong with his love and support. There’d be no Laurel as I am today, without James.
My mum appears from the door next and I can’t manage to hold my butt on the chair long enough for her to get to me. I’m moving everything in my lap onto the table and rushing over to her before she even gets half-way.
“Welcome home, darling.” She hugs me tightly then pulls away and thrusts the tray towards me. I carefully pick up the rose and straighten out the note.
…That you inspire me. To love freely. To make better decisions. To be the best damn boyfriend in the world so I know I’m worthy of your love.
Oh God, I’m definitely going to need some tissues. They’re freefalling down the side of my face. My mum sheds a tear too, and reaches out to wipe under my eyes with her thumb. With a small proud smile she disappears and I walk back over to the table, trying to get my thoughts and emotions under control. I’m a mess, and continue to be so when Ryan appears from behind the door and raises his eyebrows in acknowledgment. He looks so handsome, and I shake my head in disbelief that this has all been for me, when I thought he’d arranged it for himself and one lucky lady. Well, I’m the lucky lady.
I spot the tissue on the tray first and pick it up first hoping it will help with the snivelling. After dabbing at my eyes, and leaving it scrunched up on my lap, I go to the rose and note.
…How nothing feels as good as knowing I’m the reason behind your beautiful smile.
And I smile. So wide my cheeks hurt. I mouth ‘thank you’ to Ryan as he backs away and my eyes are fixed on the door. It must be ending soon and I’m desperate to see James and throw myself into his arms.
Cassie clacks across the room next. Her smile is content, peaceful, as she totters to me. She’s wearing a black satin cocktail dress with her hair gathered up high on the back of her head, and a few loose tendrils framing her face. They all look amazing tonight.
This is the last. I can tell by her soft expression that I’ll be seeing James after and I have a mixture of crazy emotions flowing through me. It’s intense, and exciting. Overwhelming and unnerving. All at the same time. My hands shake violently as I reach for the rose and little white note.
…Your uncompromising belief in us. This is it. It’s finally time for our Happily Ever After. You’ll always be mine, angel.
Cassie grabs my hand and squeezes tightly. One tear falls down her perfect make-up covered cheek leaving a pale, perfectly straight streak. Her arm comes round my neck and she pulls me into a tight hug before letting go and walking away. I reacquaint my face with the tissue and do my best to pull myself together. I want to look pretty, not a hot mess.
The seconds tick by quickly. My knee jogs up and down. I move the items from my lap and arrange them on the table to fill in the time. I smooth my hands over my thighs, pretending my dress needs straightening. I fix my hair, running my hands through it and readjusting it on my shoulders. I breathe in again, deeply. My heart pounds so hard against my chest, it seems like it’s never going to stop. But it actually does when the door opens and he walks in.
Before I can watch his face, my eyes are roaming over his body, taking in the wide expanse of his chest covered in a form fitting tux, his hands wrapped round another pink rose and the swagger in his stride, giving him that air of confidence, arrogance, charm that makes me melt inside. I get up and watch his handsome face, feeling jittery and on edge. I’m happy to be out of hospital, excited for our future together and nervous about being a mum. My hand reflexively touches my belly as I try and control my breathing. His eyes drop to my hand and I smile when the intense, passionate way they caress my stomach tells me everything I need to know.
When he stops in front of me, one side of his lip curves into that sexy grin that I love, and he offers out the rose to me. I curl my fingers round the stem and look at the last note:
…But more than any of those things, I love that you have a piece of us growing inside of you. You’re not just giving me you, and your love, but a family. A future that I didn’t even contemplate needing. Now I know, I need it more than air.
Oh goodness, he’s making me cry again. I look up at him with watery eyes and he steps forward, reaching his thumb out to wipe my tears away.
“I love you, Laurel. And I always will. You and this baby are everything to me.” My heart rate accelerates until I think it’s going to break out my chest when he lowers himself onto one knee. Oh my God, this is really fucking happening.
“Laurel Elizabeth Matthews, will you marry me?” He opens out the velvet box to me and I gasp when I see my mum’s engagement ring, and start crying harder. I can’t get any words out. I’m being such a girl. When it’s obvious I’m not going to be able to speak, he gets up and pulls me into his arms. I duck my head into his chest and think about my dreams when I was in
the hospital. Seeing my dad again, and feeling how real it seemed that he was with me. And now I’m clutching the ring he lovingly picked out for my mum. It’s all too much. James strokes my back for another few minutes and when my sobs slow down, he takes my head in both of his hands.
“You okay?” He asks, concern written all over his face. I nod and wipe my eyes with the tissue I still had in my hand.
“Then can you please answer me, babe. You got me in knots here. I don’t know what you’re thinking.” He looks lost, trying to figure out what the tears actually mean. I smile, so hard my cheeks hurt and nod my head frantically.
“Yes, of course. I’ll marry you.”
There’s no need for the twinkly fairy lights now, James’ grin is enough to illuminate the room.
He places one hand gently on my stomach and the other threads through my hair as he lowers his mouth to mine.
“You’ve made me so fucking happy.” He whispers against my lips. “I love you so much.” His lips brush over mine, once, twice, three times. I’m lost to his hands, wrapping around me, holding me close. He’s my happy ever after, my fairy-tale ending, and finally we can start living it.
The End
(For now…)
Sweet Affection Playlist
I love putting my earphones in and getting completely lost in music whilst tapping away on my laptop so I thought I’d share with you some of the many songs that have played a massive part in James and Laurel’s story. Some were actually mentioned in the book and some have just given me a huge amount of inspiration.
Sweet Affection (Truth Book 3) Page 30