Claiming Addison: 69 Bottles #1

by Zoey Derrick

  My heart bleeds at his words. “Talon, you do make me happy, extremely happy. I don’t need ten grand worth of clothes to make me happy. I need you and I need Kyle, and I need to be able to be me, too.”

  “I know, angel, and I forgot that and I’m sorry. I warned you I was going to screw up.”

  I shake my head. “Talon, you didn’t screw up. If anyone did, it was me. Instead of being happy and thankful for your gifts, I threw them back in your face and for that I’m sorry, but you have to see where all of this makes me so confused. I don’t know what I’m feeling or why I’m feeling this way, but I can’t even begin to imagine feeling any differently than I do right now.” I take a deep breath, “I nearly broke my own heart out there.”

  He comes to kneel in front of me. The gesture and the look in his eyes is so sweet and pleading that I almost want to cry again. He takes my hands in his. “Addison, this is the kind of stuff we need to talk about. I understand why you’re upset, but this is minor and worth talking about, not screaming at each other. I bought you clothes because I wanted you to feel sexy, to feel the way I see you. Kyle bought you clothes because he wants you to be comfortable with receiving things from both of us, together or separate. Our buying you clothes wasn’t meant to cut you down or break you apart. It was meant to lift you.” He kisses my hands that are resting in his. “I want you to feel comfortable around us, to feel appreciated and admired because that is how Kyle and I feel about you. You’re a strong, independent, amazing woman.”

  I blink back more tears. “Do you want to know why I do the things that I do for people?” He nods. “I do them because they make them happy and seeing them happy makes me happy. Is it selfish? Sure, in a way, but the person on the receiving end gets the glory, I get the reward. So buying all this stuff for me gives me the glory and it is not something I know how to handle very well. I’ve always been the girl in the shadows, the girl behind the scenes, hiding from the crowd because that is where I feel I belong. You and Kyle put me on a pedestal that I’m not ready to stand on. I don’t wear clothing that shows off my ink because it puts me on that pedestal. I keep my ink to myself because it makes me appreciate a true piece of art, not because someone else enjoys it for a while and discards it like it was nothing. Which is how I’ve lived my life-in the discard pile. Ready when someone needs me and then back into the pile I go.” I pull my hands free of his to wipe my eyes and take a shuddering breath. “You’ve got to give me time to grow, time to change a lifetime of habits, emotions and insecurities.”

  “I think it’s time I told you a story,” he says as he sits on the floor in front of me. “Do you know why I play the guitar?” I shake my head. He smiles, “Not many people do. But I am going to tell you. I started when I was five. I started because if I kept busy at something, I wouldn’t get into trouble. Getting into trouble in my house meant getting your ass beat. Getting in trouble meant being put on display for the entire house to see, made fun of and paraded. It also meant a punishment far worse than any belt or wooden spoon could give you.” He reaches for the back of his shirt and begins pulling it over his head. It dawns on me now that I’ve never actually looked at Talon’s back, at least not like this.

  He turns around on the floor and leans forward. Running along his spine is a series of tattoos that look like words but the design mimics that of a heart monitor reading where words flare into a triangle on one side of the invisible line and then to the other and back and forth.

  It says

  Take

  My scars Hide them away Save me From

  The

  Man who

  Tries to take me Away from The

  Person I’m trying to Become. The man I want to be Desperate To be

  Free

  When you get to Free it starts over again until it melts into a flat line.

  T

  O

  B

  E

  F

  R

  E

  E

  It is then that the light catches just right and I see one scarred line, then another and another, now that I know what I’m seeing they’re popping up everywhere. I break into a sob that I can no longer hold back.

  “Addison,” he says, his voice is a pain filled whisper. I slide onto the floor and wrap my arms around him, gently kissing his scars. “Angel, please, stop.”

  “I can’t,” I breathe.

  “I was trapped by my father and my mother didn’t stop him. She simply bought me things, got me things, snuck me candy and all the things my father would never let me have. She never said I love you to me, she never hugged me or held me when I would cry.” I can hear the emotion in his voice. He’s crying. “The only way I know how to show someone affection is to buy them things, give them things. Which is why sleeping with different woman, never getting attached, was easy for me; I don’t know how to do it. I don’t know any other way.”

  I squeeze him tighter, holding him to me while he cries. I’ve always known that musicians who write their own music find inspiration from life, not always the good, and many times it’s the bad, and now something about the song he wrote last night hits me. Giving, giving is all he knows how to do, so he is giving me a song. ‘Your Eyes’ certainly wasn’t written for me, but it was my favorite song. This song, his new song is a gift from him to me, his way of telling me how he feels. “I want to hear your song. The one you wrote last night.” He stiffens in my arms. “I want to sing it with you.”

  “Addison, I…” He takes a breath, this time he’s calming himself. “It’s not ready.”

  A small smile spreads across my lips. “It’s not ready or you’re not ready?”

  “I’m not.”

  I close my eyes slowly. “I’m ready to hear it, when you’re ready to sing it.” I kiss his back again and he turns around, breaking our contact. He wraps his arms around me. “Ow! Ow!”

  “Shit, Addie, damn it, I forgot.”

  I start laughing because he is positively paranoid that he really hurt me. “So did I.” I lean in and kiss him once, twice and then the third time he holds me to him. The pain in my ribs and the pain in his eyes forgotten, if only for a moment, this moment, right here.

  “I want you to meet her.”

  “Who? Your mother?”

  “Yes, my mother.” I hesitate to respond, I don’t know how I feel about that. “She’s not that woman anymore, Addison. Trust me.”

  “If your mother never stopped your father from hitting you, how can you not hate her?”

  His eyes grow weary. “Because, for every time he didn’t hit me, he hit her ten times harder. She put herself between him and me and when he would get to me, it was usually after he already beat her and he wasn’t satisfied with just that.”

  “How did you get out?” I breathe.

  “We lived in a small town, so everybody knew what went on. The doctors at the clinic had finally had enough when my father broke her cheekbone and jaw, and I ended up with a broken wrist. They’d had enough. Child services was called and because she was a victim, they told her to get out or they’d take me away. So she did.” He rubs at his left wrist; I’m guessing that’s the one his father broke. “We lived on the streets. I’d sing and play guitar to make money for food. After a couple of years she finally had enough and figured out her shit and got us off of the streets. After that I went back to school. I decided that I would make something of myself and I graduated with academic honors in high school and was awarded a full scholarship to Penn State. That’s where I met Kyle. We got to talking one night and I picked up my guitar, a random act I would do when things got too intense, and he saw what he thought he’d seen when he met me. He said he knew a couple of guys who were looking for a lead singer. I went, auditioned and after sixty-nine bottles of beer, we had a name for ourselves and the rest is history, or so they say.”

  With one conversation I’ve gone from being a blubbering mess over my own shit to crying over Talon’s. From hating his mom one second and to c
ompletely in love with her by the end. “Yes,” I say, “I’d love to meet your mother.”

  He smiles. “She’s the reason we’re staying in Philly for a couple of days. That’s where she lives. When we signed with the label, I gave her a choice of where she wanted to live. She chose Philly, so I built her a house.”

  I smile and laugh. “I think that’s what all rock stars do when they get their first check. It’s not a guitar or a house or a big fancy car, they buy a house for their mother.” I kiss him on the cheek. “Well, Talon Carver, you’re certainly one of a kind. Now if you don’t mind, I have a party to get ready for.” He kisses me quick then stands, pulling me with him. “Thank you for sharing your story with me.”

  He gives me a half smile. “Believe me, it wasn’t my intent, but it was warranted. Not that I wouldn’t have told you eventually, it just seemed appropriate today.” He slips his t-shirt back over his head.

  “I couldn’t agree more. Now go.” I swat him on the ass.

  “Yes, ma’am.” I scowl and he laughs as he opens the door, leaving me to get ready for tonight.

  “Hey, she doing better?”

  He nods. “I think we hashed it out.”

  “So what was that all about?” I ask. I wanted to go in after her, but he said that this was his mistake and he needed to make it right.

  “She feels overwhelmed, rightfully so, about you and me, us. All the clothes, and buying of stuff just made it that much harder for her to handle so she lost it. We talked, she explained where she is coming from in regards to the gifts and it boiled down to her independence and her own insecurities regarding relationships. Then I told her my story.”

  “Which part?”

  “The part about my mom, how she used to sneak me stuff and never said she loved me. It seemed appropriate because I know deep down that’s why I did what I did today. I have no other point of reference to telling someone that I care about them.”

  I slouch back on the couch and Talon comes to sit next to me. He puts his hand on my leg and I shiver with excitement. “So, did you do this because you love her?” I ask him. I’m surprised when he doesn’t flinch or deny it.

  “Honestly, I don’t know what I’m feeling, but it’s strange and euphoric in a way. Being with her and you, it’s like everything else melts away. The drama with the band, life in general, it just doesn’t seem to matter to me anymore, you know?”

  I sigh, “Yeah, Talon, I do.”

  “What about you?” he asks me.

  I pop my head up off of the couch. “I think so,” I breathe. “I’ve never met anyone like her before. I want nothing more than to get to know her better, you know? But yet I’m scared to death of pushing her too far. Pushing you too far and then this whole thing just pops and fizzles out. I guess being afraid is a good thing, it means something, right?”

  I feel Talon’s hand squeeze on my thigh and I look at it. Talon and I have been close before, sometimes too close, but this is something else entirely. Knowing what I know now about my feelings for Addison, I understand better why Talon was always so important to me before all this craziness. There has always been something about him, something that drew me in without a second thought. But it wasn’t love or lust or even a desire to be with him, but something was always there, under the surface and now, I think I know what it was.

  “Do you ever feel like destiny is taking over your life?” I ask, letting my head fall back on the couch.

  Talon laughs, as I expected him to. “Depends on what you mean.”

  “Without sounding like a total sap? I’m not sure that’s possible.”

  “Try me,” he says, completely serious.

  “When I met you back in college, something drew me to you. Now before you go all ‘you’ve had the hots for me for years’ that’s not what I mean.”

  “I know what you mean without all the ‘hots for you’ shit,” he says, still serious but there is a lightness in his tone.

  “I thought that my meeting you was just to get you and Dex together to form a band; to take it on the road, kick ass and take some names. But now I’m starting to wonder if that was just a step in the ladder of this journey.”

  “Yeah, you totally sound like a sap.” I feel the couch shift and I look at him. He looks at me. “But I agree with you.”

  We’re so close and the drive to kiss him spikes, but I refrain. Despite all the touchy feely between the three of us, especially between Talon and I, I’m not quite sure how he feels about it all. Sometimes I wonder if my excitement has pushed him too far too fast, and then he does things like last night where he just starts sucking my cock out of nowhere. Then I often wonder if it’s Addison’s doing.

  “She’s a very courageous woman,” I say.

  “What makes you say that?”

  “Well, think about it. She’s like a magnet. She pulled us into her, both of us. Then you and I decide, without even knowing what could have happened, that we couldn’t fight over her. We equally decided that not making her choose meant that we had to find a way to make it work with the three of us. Sure, sexually wouldn’t have been an issue, we’ve shared chicks before, but it’s one thing to share one chick for one night. We’ve found it within ourselves to make this work. Top that off with the fact that she puts up with us and our shit. Then she goes about encouraging us in ways neither of us ever thought or expected to find we were capable of. I mean, hell, we would not have bought some of the shit we bought today without her encouragement whether she was there or not.” I sit up and turn toward him. “I mean it. She’s the one bringing us together and I’m sorry, that takes guts.”

  Talon laughs. “I think, eventually, something like this might have happened between us, with or without a woman.”

  I cock my head at him. “What do you mean?”

  “Oh come on, how many woman have we shared without touching each other? How many times have we done stupid shit like that and not thought about doing something to the other.” I try and follow his logic and he catches my confusion. “You mean to tell me, with all the chicks we’ve shared, you’ve never once thought about what my dick would feel like in your mouth or up your ass?” And just like that, crass ass Talon is back.

  “No, I’ve thought about it more times than I care to count,” I grumble.

  “Me too,” he says with such conviction that it’s almost scary. In truth, I think we’ve reached a point between Talon and I that all bets are off. Things will continue to change between him and me as we wrap Addison up in the cocoon of what we have to offer her. She wants it, she craves it just like we do, she just has the balls to step forward and make it happen.

  “I don’t think I can ever give you or her up,” Talon whispers. “We’ve claimed her and I never intend to let her go.”

  I settle back against the couch, taking a deep breath that for the first time makes me feel freer than I’ve ever felt in my entire life. We’ve claimed her as our own, and in the process, we’re claiming each other. “With her, the world is brighter, the colors more vibrant. She’s ours,” I breathe.

  It’s about an hour and a half later and nearly time to go when Addison finally comes out of the bedroom. Talon and I took the liberty of getting dressed in our respective bedrooms, though we haven’t slept in them since our arrival Sunday night. Talon is wearing his usual get up of jeans, shit kickers, and a leather vest. Only difference, he’s wearing black instead of white for his t-shirt but like always, he looks hot.

  I am wearing jeans, a royal blue button down, open at the collar, sleeves rolled up to my elbows and a black undershirt.

  “Why aren’t you dressed?” I hear Talon ask Addison. I turn around to see her hair and make-up are done very nicely. Her hair is pulled back, but it’s curly in the back. Her make-up is lighter than she normally wears it, but all she is wearing is a robe.

  She laughs. “You never brought in my clothes for tonight. Where’s my outfit?” She pouts at him, I laugh and point to the wall behind her. Hanging there is her new p
urple top and the black skinny jeans, on the floor below it are the Louboutin shoes we got to match. “Oh. Okay, give me five minutes and I’ll be ready to go.”

  “About time,” I tease and she turns around sticking her tongue out at me.

  “You can’t rush perfection, you know.”

  Be still my beating heart. “Honey, you were perfect an hour and half ago, now you’re just fucking gorgeous,” I tell her and she blushes.

  “Now move,” Talon teases her and she scoots into the bedroom, closing the door behind her. Talon turns to me. “Did you know she’d take this long?”

  I snort. “Don’t all women?”

  He shrugs. “Probably, they’re usually all done up when I get around to ‘em.”

  I nod. “This is true. You look great, by the way.”

  He looks at me and gives me that sultry look that makes Addison’s panties melt. “So do you,” he says.

  “I’m not the one you need to be seducing, you know?”

  He laughs. “Is it working?”

  “Uh yeah!” I tell him and go back to checking my emails. “It’s official,” I say and he looks at me.

  “What’s that?”

  “As far as the label is concerned, Addison is my new ‘assistant’-” Yes, I used the air quotes, don’t judge me “-which basically means that we don’t have to bring in another unknown. They said they’d rather deal with her as an assistant than run the risk of another incident, which they’re pissed about by the way.”

  “Did you explain the circumstances?”

  “I did, but you know David, it doesn’t matter. At first he was pissed at Addison for what happened, assumed that she didn’t do her job. Which of course I explained, anyway, the point is, she’s my new assistant as well as doing the job she came here to do.”

  “Is that gonna be too much on her?” he asks.

  I snort. “No, she’s already doing it and what little Kate did on show nights can honestly be covered either by myself or by Eddie. It’s not a big deal, though Eddie might want more money.” I laugh.