He chuckled, squeezing her. “I wish. Where should we celebrate? And don’t say a bar.”
She also laughed.
“God, I love your laugh,” he said. “Always have.”
“Johnny,” she said, burying her face in his neck. He could still catch her off guard and make her blush. He was happy, and even though she worried, she was happy too. That eased the pit in her stomach a little.
* * *
Lola owned one dress for such a special occasion—fitted but not flashy, sheer from her neck to her cleavage, including the sleeves to her elbows. Black, of course. She’d worn it once for Johnny’s kid sister’s college graduation party.
She came out of the bathroom, all fixed up. Johnny pushed hangers around the closet, still in his underwear.
“Babe?” she asked. Normally he was ready in half the time it took her.
“Don’t have anything to wear,” he muttered. “I’ll have to get some new things.”
“What you’ve got is fine, Johnny. You don’t have to dress up.”
He looked over his shoulder at her, up and down. “I’ve never seen that dress before.”
“Yes, you have. I wore it to Natasha’s graduation.”
“Oh.” He turned back to the closet. “Well, I’d call that pretty dressed up. I can’t exactly show up in jeans when you’re wearing that.”
“I can change,” she said. It made no difference to her. She wasn’t even the one who’d chosen the restaurant, an expensive steakhouse in Beverly Hills they’d read about in the paper a few weeks earlier.
“No, don’t. You look too pretty.” He pulled out a checkered, long-sleeved button down. “How’s this? Also what I wore to her graduation.”
“It’s—” She turned toward the kitchen when her phone rang. “That shirt’s great, honey,” she called as she left the room. “You look good in red.”
She found her cell in her purse, and her heart leapt at the unknown number. It couldn’t be him, though. Beau was not allowed to just sneak up on her that way—not when it was so important that she put him behind her. With a quick glance back toward the bedroom, she answered it and held her breath.
“Lola,” there was a pause on the line, “are you there, ma chatte?”
She placed the phone over her chest, then pulled it away, worried he’d hear her nervous heartbeat. She went out the front door, closed it quietly behind her and put her cell to her ear again. “What do you want?”
“You haven’t given me an answer,” Beau said.
“I told you no in the car that morning.”
“You discussed it with Johnny?”
She hesitated. Before her first night with Beau, she’d been stronger. She was able to see clearer. She hadn’t told Johnny about Beau’s second offer. If Johnny made her decide again, she had a feeling she knew what her answer would be. It was better not to ask the question at all. “You shouldn’t be calling me.”
He made a low, humming noise that reminded her of his mouth between her legs. “Don’t change the subject.”
“It doesn’t matter what Johnny says. The answer is no.”
“Have you bought the bar yet?”
The change of topic took her a moment to register. “Yes. Well, no. We gave our offer, and now it’s just a matter of paperwork.”
“Do you have a lawyer?”
“Johnny’s cousin is one.”
“Johnny’s cousin,” Beau repeated to himself. “Who will represent you?”
“What? There is no me. There’s only me and Johnny.”
“You need representation too.”
“No, I don’t. And even if I did, it’s none of your business.”
They were quiet a moment. She pictured Beau in his office at the end of the day. He could’ve been at home, but he sounded tense. Maybe Lola brought that out in him, though. It seemed they were frequently on the verge of arguing.
“I’ll have my lawyer contact you,” he said finally. “He’d keep only your best interests in mind. My treat.”
“I can’t go to Johnny with my own lawyer. That’s absurd.”
“Are you buying the place together?”
“Yes.”
“So your name will go on everything?”
“Yes, but it’s Johnny’s baby.”
“How will you share the profits? Fifty-fifty? What if you break up?”
“Break up?”
“That’s why you need someone looking out for you.”
“I have someone,” Lola said softly. “Johnny. We aren’t breaking up.”
“I just want you to be careful. Smart. You’ve never had money like this to complicate things.”
She’d only had the money a few days, but that was turning out to be true. Before Beau had walked into their lives, things had been simple. Now, every day came with a new problem that was above her and Johnny’s heads and new tension between them.
“Money’s supposed to make life easier,” she said.
“It doesn’t. People think that, but they don’t realize there are downsides to wealth.”
“Are you calling to talk me out of taking the deal?”
“So you’re considering it then?”
“No. I didn’t mean it like that.” Or had she? Was she considering it? A night like the one they’d had could never be duplicated. It also couldn’t be forgotten. It was tempting enough to wonder what would even happen during a second night, much less actually consider it.
“I should go,” she said.
“Don’t sign anything without having someone read it over first.”
Lola suppressed a smile. “So that’s why you called. To hound me about a lawyer?”
“Yes.” He sighed. “No. Not really. Your voice—I missed it. Has anyone ever told you how comforting it can be?”
He’d spoken it softly, as if it were their private secret. They had enough secrets, though. Having breakfast in bed—it felt like a secret. Her willingly opening her legs to him? Secret. They were things that couldn’t leave the presidential suite. And this conversation needed to end before it went any further. “Beau—”
“I wish you were here now to whisper to me.”
Lola looked over her shoulder again. She remembered him whispering to her, not the other way around. Telling her how it felt to be inside her, how tight and hot and wet she was. Her heart clenched longingly. With Beau, it didn’t take much to draw her in.
“What…what would you have me say?” she asked.
“I wouldn’t have you say anything. What fun is that? I’d want you to say whatever comes to you.”
That ache returned between her legs—or maybe it’d never left. It still hadn’t been taken care of. “‘Goodbye, Beau.’ That’s what comes to me.”
“I won’t stop until I get the answer I want,” he warned. “Talk to him.”
She shook her head, ended the call and looked around the courtyard. The complex was muted by dusk. Beau’s voice was more intense on the phone. Bolder. Huskier. He’d said “whisper to me” suggestively, with promise, as if he knew she would be doing it soon.
“Beau,” she whispered aloud to the silence. She felt his weight on her again, his chest to her back, slick with a sheen of their sweat. His mouth at her ear, his hot breath, his even hotter words.
The apartment door opened behind her, and she whirled around so fast she almost lost her footing.
Johnny held his arms wide open. “How do I look?” he asked, showing off his shirt.
Her heart raced as though she’d been caught doing something wrong. “You look,” she cringed, but the words were already falling out of her mouth, “like a million bucks.”
3
Lola stepped out of the car as the door opened for her. She was greeted by the valet’s smile. Johnny came around the hood to meet her.
“Sorry about the car,” Johnny said to the young man. “It’s old. Probably a lot shittier than you’re used to.”
The valet shrugged. “It’s fine. You should see my ride.”
Jo
hnny nodded ardently at that. “Yeah. Cool.”
Lola waited until they were out of earshot, just before they entered the steakhouse. “Don’t apologize for something as stupid as our car,” she said. Their car had seen better days, and it was a stick shift, but it didn’t merit an apology. “Like the valet really gives a crap about anything other than his tip.”
“Oh, I’ll give him one hell of a tip. Just don’t want anyone thinking we’re going to dine and dash or something.”
“Nobody thinks that. Do I really look that out of place?”
He rolled his eyes. “You know I didn’t mean it like that.”
“You make it sound like I shouldn’t eat here because I’m not wearing a designer dress.”
“All right, all right,” he said with exasperation. He took her hand. “You made your point.”
Lola was beginning to see how a sudden influx of cash could go to someone’s head—except that in her mind, there was no cash. It was almost all promised away. “Sometimes it’s good to let people underestimate you,” she said.
The hostess greeted them warmly, smiling as she complimented Lola’s dress. Lola tried not to look smug as they were led to their table. “We’re so honored you’ve chosen to dine here this evening,” the woman said. “We hope it exceeds your expectations. If you need anything at all, please let your server or me know.”
“We should hire her,” Johnny said when she excused herself. “It’s nice to make your guests feel special.”
“We can start calling Quartz ‘Mr. Quartz.’”
“And we’ll replace all the glasses with crystal ware.”
“And we’ll finally put in a new toilet so it doesn’t make that gurgling noise anymore.”
“Let’s not get carried away,” Johnny said, laughing.
The waiter was just as friendly, making small talk as he laid black napkins in their laps.
“We’ll take the most expensive champagne you’ve got,” Johnny said without even opening the menu.
“Johnny,” Lola said. “That’s not necessary.”
He glanced from the waiter to her. “We can afford to splurge for once in our lives, Lola.”
“But it’s champagne. Really. It’ll be gone by the end of the night. Let’s get a nice, reasonable bottle of red wine.”
“Shall I come back?” the man asked.
“No,” Johnny said. “Bring the champagne.”
Lola looked up at the server. “Can you give us a minute?”
“Certainly.”
“No champagne,” Lola said firmly while he walked away. “It’s excessive.”
“Listen to me.” Johnny leaned forward on his elbows, twining his fingers. “One million dollars. You comprehend that, right?”
She blinked slowly. “Are you seriously asking me that?”
“Okay, but—”
“And it’s not a million anymore,” Lola continued. “Once this deal goes through and we have to pay that rent, we’ve got barely anything left.”
“It’s still a ton of money, Lo. More than we’ve ever had. I’ll talk to the landlord and get us out of paying upfront.”
“It’s not a ton of money. I told you we needed all the extra help we could get. Aside from the big things, there’s maintenance, and wages and all the other expenses that come with owning a business.” Lola’s breath wasn’t coming as fast as she needed. The reality of their commitment came crashing through the dream, right down onto her shoulders. “Honestly, a million’s not even enough for what we just agreed to.”
“Lola, honey. Calm down. I’m not asking to take a vacation, all I’m saying is for this one night, we can afford to—”
“Do you think I fucked a stranger for a bottle of champagne?”
The tables around them got quiet, but Lola kept her eyes on Johnny as her words hung in the air.
“Christ,” he said. “You really believe that’s what I think? That might be the shittiest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
She covered her mouth. “Oh, God. You’re right.”
“You can quit staring,” Johnny said to someone behind her. “Nothing to see here.”
Lola’s phone chimed with a text message. She pulled it out to see the same unknown number that she’d answered earlier.
* * *
You’re still here with me. Say yes.
* * *
“Who is it?” Johnny asked.
“No one.” She put the cell away. “Brenda about this weekend.” Lola stood. “I just need a minute alone.”
“No. Sit.”
She looked at the table and sat back in her chair.
“The last few days, you’ve left the room in the middle of our conversations more times than I can count. What’s going on?”
Sometimes it was all just too much to take in. Johnny was so happy about the bar. She was happy for him. She couldn’t seem to get further than that.
While they’d been seated at the kitchen table Sunday night, working on their plan, she’d glanced up once to find Johnny staring at her. She knew what was on his mind, but she was too afraid to bring it up. What did he think happened that night? Was the truth better or worse than his imagination?
“Hey,” Johnny said, calling her back from the memory. “Forget about the champagne. What’re you thinking right now?”
“I feel guilty,” she said quietly. “You’re hurting. And it’s my fault.”
“No. We went into this together.” He craned his neck to catch her eye. “Didn’t we, Lo? Start to finish, you and me. Have I given you any reason to think I’m hurt?”
“You’ve been so supportive.” He had been, in his own way. He didn’t judge her or put the blame on her. He was quiet, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t there for whatever she needed. “Somewhere inside, though, you must be angry.”
He sighed, working his jaw back and forth. “I try not to think about it. I think about the money and us. As long as I focus on you and me and what’s ahead of us, I’m okay.”
She tried not to think of it either, but Beau’s grip on her—his large, enveloping hands physically on her body but also the unwavering way he demanded her attention—would flash over her without warning. Sometimes that was the real reason she had to leave the room. Johnny had been so calm about it all, but his lack of reaction was beginning to worry her. “If you thought about it,” she said, “how would it make you feel?”
“Crazy. Hurt.” He looked away for one quick second. “And yes, angry. But none of that is directed at you.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. Those feelings will go away, I just need a little time.”
“If you had a second chance at the money, would you take it?”
“You mean would I have said yes, knowing what I know now?” He spun his water glass on the table. “I can’t really answer that, babe. I don’t know what you went through. I mean, look at what we did today. I never thought handing over that much money would be one of the best moments of my life, but there it is. Even though we didn’t yet—I already feel like I finally own something. And that something will mean a better life for my girl.”
She pressed her palms together in her lap. “That’s not what I was asking.”
“What then?”
The damp spot on the tablecloth grew while Johnny absentmindedly played with his water glass. She’d decided not to bring it up for a reason. The plan was that she’d never see Beau again, but his voice was still in her ear. He expected her to say yes. To submit to him another night. “Never mind,” she said. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“Said anything about what? Look at me.”
She met his puzzled eyes. “He made me another offer, Johnny.”
“Who?”
“You know who.” She chewed her bottom lip. “I told him no.”
“He made you another offer?” He rubbed his forehead, shaking his head. “I don’t understand. When?”
“The morning after, when I was getting out of the car.”
&
nbsp; He dropped both forearms on the table and fixed his attention on her. “That was days ago. Why am I only hearing about this now?”
“I didn’t want to make things worse.”
“Worse?” he asked, raising his voice. “That’s not fair. Have I been anything other than completely understanding through all of this?”
“You’ve been amazing,” she said, her head lowered.
“If anyone has secrets, it should be you and me. Not you and him.”
“It wasn’t a secret, I just—”
“Don’t. Stop.”
She lifted her eyes again.
He leaned in. “I don’t think you understand how understanding I’ve been. I didn’t go crazy. I haven’t treated you differently since then.” He pointed to his chest. “I don’t deserve to be shut out.”
“You haven’t said no yet,” Lola pointed out.
He sat back against his chair and crossed his arms. “I mean, what the fuck am I supposed to say to that? What exactly went on that he’d pay another million for you?”
“Johnny,” she exclaimed. His words sent a stabbing pain through her stomach. Apparently, he was just as capable as Beau of making her feel cheap.
“No,” he said. “I want to know. If this is on the table, I need to know what happened that night. What exactly he got for his money. Where he took you.”
Her mouth fell open. “We agreed—”
“I did that for you. You don’t think I want to know the truth? It drives me insane wondering what a million dollars bought that prick.”
“Stop.” Lola’s throat was so thick, she couldn’t catch a breath. “I feel sick.”
“Yeah?” He banged his fist on the table. “Well, so do I.”
“Sir,” the waiter said, hurrying over. “I have to ask you—”
“I knew it,” Johnny said. He threw his napkin on the table and stood. “I’m sorry we’re not good enough for your fifty-dollar steak. We’ll go.”
“I didn’t say that, sir. Absolutely not—we value your business. I was just going to ask you to keep it down.”
“Johnny, just sit,” Lola pleaded.
“I have to get out of here.” He walked away.
Explicitly Yours Series Page 19