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Baby Zeke: The Diary of a Chicken Jockey: The Complete Minecraft Series, Books 1-9: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

Page 20

by Dr. Block


  The dragons finally laughed themselves out and Agent Axe approached Cricket and Andy.

  “The King sent you?”

  “Yes,” said Cricket.

  “You do know that ender dragons can’t travel to the Overworld, right?” said the wither skeleton.

  “What do you mean?” said Andy.

  “When the Great Notch created the three worlds, he made it so the ender dragons could only spawn in the End and could never leave the End,” explained Agent Axe.

  “Really?” I asked.

  “I don’t lie about the works of Notch,” said Agent Axe with a tone of reverence.

  “So, why would the King send us here if we can’t take a dragon with us? It doesn’t make sense,” I said.

  “Have a little faith,” said Cricket. “The King knows what he’s doing.”

  “If you say so,” said the wither skeleton, not sounding too convinced.

  Cricket turned to the ender dragons. “Based on your behavior earlier, it seems like you all want to volunteer, right?”

  His question was met with exited muttering, a few yeses and even a couple of hoo-rahs.

  Cricket sighed. “In that case, we’ll have to choose at random. I’ll pick one and Andy will pick one. And that will be that. Got it?”

  The dragons hung their heads. They all wanted to go. They knew this would be the adventure of a lifetime. And, if Agent Axe was right, just getting to the Overworld would be an amazing feat in and of itself.

  “You,” said Cricket pointing.

  “And you,” said Andy.

  The two chosen dragons bounded forward. They thanked Cricket and Andy profusely, even kissing their feet. It was pretty disgusting, if you really want to know.

  “Names?” asked Cricket.

  “I’m Asher,” said one.

  “I’m Tom78,” said the other.

  “78?” whispered Harold.

  I shrugged. “Maybe Tom is a common name among ender dragons and they use numbers to tell themselves apart?”

  Andy walked over to me and Harold. “Zeke, why did you think that wither skeleton was Shadow?”

  “He looks a lot like him. I mean, he is not wearing any armor and his sword is different, but he is a wither skeleton. So, I just assumed….”

  Andy rubbed his chin in thought. Again with the chin rubbing. Ugh.

  “Hey, Axe,” yelled Andy.

  “Agent Axe,” said the exasperated wither skeleton.

  “You seem pretty smart. Why don’t you come with us and tell the King what you told us.”

  “Joy,” said the wither skeleton and he trotted over to our group.

  And with that, Andy reached his long arms around Agent Axe, Harold and me while Cricket touched both of the dragons, and we teleported away.

  Chapter 8

  We arrived instantaneously in the Ender King’s throne room. The King was speaking with several endermen, including one wearing a strange purple and white robe.

  The King looked up from his meeting and said, “Ah, Asher and Tom78, nice of you to join us.”

  I leaned over to Harold. “How in the name of Notch did he know their names?”

  Harold gave a little cluck and shrugged. “No idea.”

  The two dragons bowed to the King.

  “Actually, Your Highness, we got lucky,” said Asher.

  “Yeah,” continued Tom78. “We all wanted to volunteer, so Cricket and Andy chose us.”

  “That is fine,” said the King. The King’s gaze now turned to the wither skeleton. “Ah, Agent Axe. What are you doing here?”

  The wither skeleton shrugged. “No idea. Andy told me to come.”

  The King looked at Andy as if to ask him a question.

  “Zeke thought he looked like Shadow,” said Andy. “I thought maybe we could use him as a decoy or bait or something.”

  The King shook his head. “No. Deception won’t work. We have to confront Shadow head on, tete-a-tete, mano-a-mano, face-to-face, point blank.”

  I put my hand up, the pain of serial clichés piercing my skull. “Stop, please. We get the idea.”

  The King looked at me for a moment and then laughed. “I can see you are a serious one, Zeke. No fun and games for you.”

  “Not really,” said Harold. “Zeke’s sort of insane.”

  I shot Harold a look of utter hatred.

  “Uh, only sometimes,” Harold clarified.

  Agent Axe cleared his throat. “Your Highness, I had no idea I was to be used as bait. I thought I was brought here to remind you that ender dragons cannot travel to the Overworld.”

  “Normally, they cannot. But, I have a special method by which we can get them there.”

  “Really?” said Agent Axe with amazement. “How?”

  It was then that the ender wearing the long purple and white robe turned around. The ender was holding a glowing dragon egg in her hands. “May I explain?” she asked the King.

  “Yes, IsaBear556, you may explain.”

  Again with the numbers? I thought.

  “Agent Axe is correct that ender dragons cannot leave the End through normal means. The only mobs that can travel freely between the Overworld and the End are the endermen. In fact, any players who come to the End are also trapped forever unless they die and respawn in the Overworld or they … well … kill the Ender Dragon.”

  Tom78 and Asher gasped.

  “Stupid players,” mumbled Asher. Tom78 put a wing on his back to console him.

  “But,” continued IsaBear556, “if you can take a dragon egg to the Overworld, crack it open and fry it in a skillet, a special portal will open on top of the egg, allowing ender dragons to fly through it.”

  I laughed. “Seriously? That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. You want us to fry an egg?”

  IsaBear556 stared at me, her purple eyes bored into my soul. The jovial smile on my face was quickly replaced by the slack-jawed visage of stupefied fear. Her withering gaze had reduced me to a quivering pile of rotting flesh with no thoughts or emotions other than fear of her power and the knowledge that she was about to cause my death.

  “I am deadly serious,” she said. “Unless, of course, you don’t want to see your friends alive ever again.”

  That brought me back to reality. “Well, then, give me a spatula and call me SpongeBob because I am ready to do some frying!”

  Harold slapped his head with a wing.

  “No,” she said. “It is very difficult to fry a dragon egg. Only a truly skilled chef can accomplish it. I will come with you and do it.”

  “Fine,” I said. “Whatever.”

  “You can carry the frying pan,” she said, pointing to a huge cast iron skillet resting on the table next to her.

  “That looks heavy,” I whined in protest.

  IsaBear556 sighed and reminded me: “Friends. Dead. Forever.”

  “I get it,” I said, hefting the massive skillet into my arms and tucking it into my inventory. It was so heavy. I thought my legs would buckle.

  I looked over at Harold. “Hey, man, help a zombie out and give me a ride.”

  Harold shook his head. “Nice try, Zeke. But, no.”

  The King, who had been watching all this with an amused expression, clapped his hands and said, “Now that is settled, let’s get to the rest of the plan.”

  Over the next few minutes the King explained his plan. I could tell you what it was, but that would spoil the surprise and make the epic battle with Shadow totally non-epic because you would know exactly what was going to happen.

  What I will tell you now is that a small group of us teleported into the Overworld. That group consisted of me, Harold, IsaBear556, the King, Agent Axe and a small contingent of endermen, including Cricket and Andy and a few others who were named Cameron, Michael, Joe, and Harrison. There were also about ten enderman soldiers whose names I never learned.

  Tom78 and Asher stayed behind until we could make their breakfast and bring them to the Overworld.

  Chapter 9


  Unlike our teleporting within the End, teleporting from the End to the Overworld was fraught with peril. (Yeah, I just wrote that.) Actually, “peril” might be too strong a word.

  The correct word was “gross.” Or, maybe I should say fraught with grossness.

  Why we had to pass through the end nectar again and not teleport directly to the Overworld, I’ll never know. At least being in the company of endermen, our passage was relatively quick.

  Unlike me and Harold, the endermen seemed to relish in the end nectar. After all, this was where they began the process of respawning after they died. It was like a journey to the heart of life and creation without having to die and follow the light into the tunnel of oblivion.

  Or, at least, that is what they told me later. At the time, it just felt like hideous, disgusting goo. And, just like the first time I got trapped inside the end nectar, I was unable to move.

  Finally, after what seemed like an eternity (but a shorter eternity than the first time I was in the nectar), we appeared in the Overworld.

  “Netherrack!” I spat as I rubbed my hands on my body to make sure there was no goo stuck to me. “That end nectar is so dang nasty. Ewww! Ewww! Ewww!”

  The endermen all stared at me, hate burning in their freakish, purple eyes. In fact, their eyes had turned a disturbing shade of red. It was like I had just insulted their mother, which, in a way, I suppose I had.

  “You realize your body is rotten flesh, don’t you?” asked Cameron.

  “Yeah, so?”

  “So,” he said, “your odor is beyond foul.”

  “You rather I put on some cologne? Eau de Nectar?”

  Harold stepped between us before things got ugly. He put up his wings and said, “I guess we need a refresher on our cultural sensitivity class, huh Zeke?”

  I could tell Harold was trying to be funny, but what do chickens know about humor. They are just about the least funny creatures I know. Maybe squids are less funny, but it was a close call.

  And, then, for some reason, I thought of our chicken friend, Bob. Bob, I thought. And Otis. And Zeb. I needed to save them. I had to stop insulting the endermen and work with them.

  “Sorry,” I said, extending my hand to Cameron. “No hard feelings?”

  “Apology accepted, but I am not touching you.”

  I was about to jump at Cameron, when the King bellowed, “Enough!” The King looked at all of us, but especially me. “It is time for action, not foolishness.”

  I hung my head in shame. The Ender King was here to help me defeat Shadow and rescue my friends, and this was how I repaid him? I was acting like a one-day old baby zombie.

  The King looked at his troops. “Pay attention, endermen. I need you to scout the village where Shadow is holding Zeke’s friends. See what sort of defenses it has.”

  All of the endermen nodded and then vanished.

  “That is so awesome,” said Harold. “I wish I could teleport. Heck, I wish I could fly.”

  “So, should we fry that egg now?” I asked.

  “Let’s wait for the scouts to return,” said the King. “We have to get the timing right.”

  We waited for about thirty minutes before the first of the endermen returned. After another five minutes, they were all back. Once they were all present, they reported what they had seen.

  The endermen informed us that the village was quiet, so quiet that it appeared to be deserted. The only obvious movement was the pacing of Shadow in front of the building where he was holding our friends prisoner.

  “I have never seen anything like it,” said one of the endermen. “There was a cloud-like darkness surrounding Shadow wherever he went.”

  The Ender King nodded gravely. “Yes, the cloud of darkening death.”

  I looked at the King. Darkening death? “Uh, should I ask you to explain what that means?”

  The King shook his head. “It is best that some things remain unknown. If I told you, I am not sure you would un-petrify before we needed to battle Shadow.”

  Un-petrify?

  I could feel Harold trembling next to me. Or, maybe, it was my own legs shaking. I couldn’t tell. I decided to change the subject.

  “Can we cook the egg now, boss?” I asked.

  “No, we need to get closer. If we call the dragons from this distance, it is possible that Shadow will sense them and we will lose the element of surprise.”

  “I agree,” said IsaBear556, spinning a giant spatula in her right hand.

  “But, first, we need to take care of the creeper-headed iron golem you told us about. The one you say initially captured you and Harold,” said the King. “Zeke, do you think you can locate him?”

  I shrugged. “I suppose. He can’t be far. I’m surprised he wasn’t with Shadow.”

  “I’m not,” said the King. “Iron golems, even those who have been mutated and transformed into chimeras, love beauty. He is probably in a meadow.”

  “Okay, Harold and I will take a look,” I said.

  “Good,” said the King. “And take Michael, Harrison and Andy with you.”

  I looked at the three endermen. “Will they be enough?”

  “Of course we will be enough,” said Andy. “What? You don’t think the three of us can handle that golem?”

  “Suit yourselves,” I said. “Let’s go.”

  Chapter 10

  Harold and I began to sneak around the landscape outside the village. We were looking for any hint of the whereabouts of the freakish beast that had captured us just the other day and brought us to meet the evil Shadow.

  We were traveling in concentric circles around the village, getting closer with each circumference. I was beginning to worry that we would not find the iron golem. Time was of the essence. If we could not find the golem soon, Shadow was sure to detect us. He was evil, but not stupid.

  At that moment, Andy teleported next to me.

  “Andy,” I said. “Where is this golem? I’m getting worried.”

  Andy nodded. “Me too. We are getting very close to the village. I am concerned about trying to teleport any closer. I’m sure Shadow will sense our teleportation if we get much closer.”

  I nodded. “What can we do? We have to neutralize the golem before we can move on to the rest of our plan.”

  “Let’s just try for a few more minutes,” suggested Harold. “If we can’t find the golem, we will have Andy teleport us back to the King where we can ask for guidance.”

  “Okay,” I said. “Let’s go.”

  Harold walked around a group of three large trees and wouldn’t you know it, there was the golem smelling a flower.

  “Ugh,” I whispered through clenched teeth. “I can’t believe we wasted all that time just now when the golem was literally right around the corner.”

  “You win some you lose some,” said Harold.

  “What are you talking about?” I said. “That idiom makes no sense in this situation.”

  “Who are you? The grammar police?” asked Harold.

  “I think you mean diction police,” said Andy.

  “Seriously?” asked Harold staring daggers at Andy. “Just call your ender buddies and take care of this.”

  I hopped off Harold to give him some space. I’d seen him get like this before. What was I saying earlier about chickens having no sense of humor? Perfect example right here.

  Harold walked away and began to peck the ground. (Ground pecking is like therapy for chickens.) Andy disappeared to find Michael and Harrison.

  While Andy was gone, I silently watched the creeper-headed golem. He seemed so peaceful, just staring at the flowers in the meadow. I noticed that he had several flowers in his left hand and was carefully selecting additional flowers to pick.

  He’s making a bouquet, I thought. How could he be a servant of Shadow and still be so interested in flowers?

  I watched as he picked a red flower to add to his bouquet. He arranged it with care and then brought the bouquet to his creeper nose to smell it.

&nbs
p; And, what I saw horrified me. Instead of smelling the flowers, the creeper head tried to bite them!

  The golem moved his hand quickly away from the creeper head, protecting the beautiful flowers. I saw his shoulders slump with sadness.

  It was then that I realized the creeper head was the only part of him that was evil. If only there were a way to get the creeper head off of him? But, that was way beyond my pay grade. I had no idea. Sometimes, life just stinks.

  I felt a whoosh of air next to me and then Andy appeared with Michael and Harrison.

  “Anything happen while I was gone?” asked Andy.

  I shook my head. “He has just been sitting there, picking flowers.”

  “Weird,” said Michael.

  “Yeah, weird,” said Harrison.

  “Are we ready to do this?” asked Michael.

  “Totally,” answered Harrison and Andy in unison.

  “What will you do with him?” I asked sadly.

  “We will teleport him far away from here and leave him there,” said Michael.

  “Sounds lonely,” I said.

  “I suppose,” said Michael, shrugging his shoulders.

  “Okay, guys, teleport on three,” said Harrison. “One. Two. Three.”

  I watched as the three endermen teleported from my side and then appeared around the creeper-headed golem. The golem looked up, surprised. I was waiting for him to resist. His creeper face erupted with a snarl, but his golem body did not move.

  The endermen reached out and touched the golem with all six of their arms. And, then, they vanished.

  I sighed. “Come on, Harold. Let’s get back to the rest of the group.”

  Chapter 11

  Because Harold ran the entire way, we made it back to the base camp in about five minutes.

  As we sped into camp, I shouted, “The golem has been teleported away.”

  “Excellent,” said the King. “You and IsaBear556 get into position and start cooking. Take Agent Axe, Cameron and Joe with you for extra protection in case Shadow detects you before the dragons make it through.”

 

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