by Mike Lupica
When he got to the diner, he looked through the front window, just to see how crowded it was.
That’s when he saw Zoe.
She was in a booth in the front room, facing in his direction, and his first thought, despite his promise to stay focused only on the game, was that he was supposed to be here, that this was where they could finally have their talk.
Until he realized she wasn’t alone.
She threw back her head and laughed at something the person facing her had just said. And Jayson wasn’t surprised when that person turned out to be Eric Kelly.
The girl Jayson knew he still wanted to be with hadn’t waited around for his explanation. She was with somebody else.
Jayson knew he should look away, knew how easy it would be for her to see him if she looked at the front window. But he was frozen to this spot. Just like he’d been in the supermarket that day.
He still didn’t know much about girls, even if he knew a little more than he had before he’d moved to the west side. But he knew enough about Zoe Montgomery in that moment, seeing her sitting there laughing, seeing her with Eric, knowing that she was right where she was supposed to be, one soccer star hanging out with another. He could see how happy she looked, how comfortable. The two of them made sense.
He was about to move, to just walk up the street and wait for Mrs. Lawton, when Zoe locked eyes with him.
Eric was talking again, using his hands like he was trying to describe something to her. He was so busy he probably didn’t even know that Zoe wasn’t looking at him.
Didn’t know she was looking straight at Jayson.
She didn’t act surprised to see him there. Jayson knew he could be wrong, but he thought she looked a little sad, after having just looked so happy a minute before. It was almost like they were finally having a conversation with each other, the one that he’d been putting off. Like there weren’t any more secrets between them now, just endless space.
The space he knew would always be there.
Finally she turned her attention back to Eric, and smiled. Jayson wondered later on if she took one more look back at him, out there on the street.
But Jayson was already gone.
34
WHEN THEY WERE INSIDE THE house, Jayson said he was going up to his room.
“You can talk to me about it, you know,” Mrs. Lawton said. “Whatever happened today.”
He thought about Zoe, pictured her smiling. Smiling with Eric Kelly. Should he have talked to her earlier, told her everything?
It didn’t matter now. The moment was gone. It was almost as if he’d stolen from himself.
He felt as if he’d somehow let himself down today. He just wasn’t sure why. He didn’t know whether to be sad, or mad.
“Jayson? What is it?” Mrs. Lawton said.
“You’re always so calm,” Jayson said. “How do you do that?”
She laughed. “You don’t know what kind of temper I used to have. Ever since I was a little girl.”
“You?” He was genuinely surprised.
“Me.”
“How did you get rid of it?”
“Years of practice,” she said. “I worked at it. Almost as hard at it as you work on basketball.”
“You grew up mad?”
“Furious. My anger could’ve melted the sun.”
“What were you so mad about?”
“About being poor. About growing up without two parents in the house. Feeling stuck in the projects with no way to break out. A lot of the parts of my childhood made me so angry I wanted to scream. And I did. Often.”
Maybe she did know more about what his life had been like than he’d given her credit for.
“Even these days, I feel my old attitude creeping back up on me when someone makes me mad, and I just want to shout and tell them that they don’t know a darn thing about what’s going on inside my head.” She smiled and said, “But you wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?”
“Little bit.” He managed a smile, there and gone. In a snap.
“What happened today?”
And so he told her. All of it. Looking her in the eyes the whole time as he told her about what he’d heard from Mrs. Montgomery in the market that day; about why he’d really gone to the Jeff that day instead of meeting Zoe; about how he knew that he’d never be able to convince Zoe, no matter how hard he tried, that not everything her mom thought about him or had said about him was true.
And then he told her about seeing Zoe with Eric.
When he finished, the only sound in the room was the ticking of the kitchen clock.
Finally Mrs. Lawton said, “Jayson, it’s not you who doesn’t fit into Zoe’s world. But if Zoe won’t take the time to get to know you better, then maybe she doesn’t fit into yours. And you know what? Her loss.”
Jayson started to say something, but she put a finger to her lips. “I’m sure she’s a very nice young girl, despite her narrow-minded mother. I’m sure she’ll grow up to be a wonderful woman. But you are a great person, too, and no one should ever make you feel otherwise.”
He wanted to thank her. But if he tried, he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop the tears he felt coming on.
She smiled, though, as if she understood.
Then Carol Lawton said, “Life can be tough, Jayson, but you’re even tougher. You can deal with anything thrown your way. Just remember that you don’t have to handle it alone now. Not anymore.”
Then Jayson was pushing back his chair, nearly knocking it over, coming around the table. Mrs. Lawton got up so he could come into her arms.
It was the first time in what felt like forever that he’d hugged someone.
35
GOING BACK TO THE GYM at Moreland East Middle was like going back to the Jeff. Today was going to feel like a road game that was really being played at home, against the only team in the league the Bobcats hadn’t beaten this season.
Mrs. Lawton drove Jayson, Bryan, and Cameron to the game. All of Jayson’s old boys were on the court by the time they got there around 3:30. The bleachers were already half full, Tyrese’s mom and Shabazz’s parents already in their seats.
The first thing Jayson did, just to get it out of the way, was go chest-bump some of his old teammates.
“C’mon, Snap, give us a smile,” Tyrese said. “You know that game face of yours never scared me anyway.”
“Just saying hi,” Jayson said. “Talk to you after.”
“Like we won’t be talking during the game?” Ty said.
“One of us will,” Jayson said. And he couldn’t help but smile a little.
He walked over to say hello to Coach Rankin, who was standing at half-court.
“Go easy on us today,” his old coach said.
Jayson grinned. “Trying to soften me up?”
“Depends. Is it working?”
“I know your moves as well as you know mine.”
“Well, we’re ready for you today,” Coach said, grinning back at him. “How you doing over at Belmont? Everything good?”
“I miss playing for you, Coach, but I’m finally getting my groove back.”
“I’m happy for you, Jayson. Good luck out there.”
“Thanks, Coach. Same to you.”
Jayson started to walk toward the home team’s bench, old habit, but he stopped himself, and headed the other way.
• • •
In the huddle, the last thing Coach Rooney said to them was, “Enjoy the moment.”
But then the moment seemed to swallow up just about everybody on the Bobcats except Jayson, his teammates starting this game the way they’d ended the last one against Geffen.
Cameron had three turnovers in the first quarter when he wasn’t missing wide-open looks. At one point, Bryan threw two straight death passes in a row, floaters
on the wing that got turned into easy breaks and easy baskets for the Mavs, one for Ty and one for Shabazz. The Bobcats were down 16–6 at the end of the first quarter, Jayson having scored all of his team’s points.
Jayson really was ready to pop right now, feeling like he was the only one on the team who could step up and handle the pressure of the moment.
First Bobcat possession of the second quarter, he threw Cameron a perfect pass, straight at his chest, threading it through two defenders. All Cameron had to do was catch the ball to get himself an easy layup. Only he didn’t catch the ball. Took his eyes off of it, started to shoot before he had even secured possession, and watched helplessly as it bounced off his hands and sailed out of bounds.
Jayson couldn’t help himself.
“Come on, Cam! Get your head in the game!”
The words just came out of him. But somehow the gym had quieted down in that moment, and his voice bounced off the walls as if they’d put it out over the sound system.
As Jayson ran past the Bobcats’ bench, Coach Rooney looked at him hard and said, “Dial it down, son.”
On defense, Jayson was all over Ty, had been all game. Ty was 0 for 4 from the floor thus far, his shot seeming off by just a hair—the only part of the Mavs’ game not working. So with Jayson once again playing him tight, Ty eventually gave up the ball to Shabazz, who looked to his right and spotted a wide-open Ray Bretton on the wing. No one was within ten feet of him. He squared up and calmly sank one of his sweet jumpers, a smile on his face as he let it go.
Jayson reacted instantly, looking around for Rashard. “You can’t leave him open!” he shouted. “Ever!”
Coach, glaring now, said, “I’m not going to tell you again, Jayson. Dial it down. We’re all doing our best out there.”
“If that’s his best, then it’s not good enough!”
“That’s it. You’re done,” Coach said. “Take a seat.” He turned to the bench. “Alex, you’re in for Jayson.”
Jayson wheeled around at him. “You’re really gonna take me out?”
Coach came over, put a hand on his shoulder. “I am,” he said. “I’m your coach and I decide who plays and who sits. And if you don’t lower your voice and go sit down right away, I will send you out of this gym altogether. Now go sit.”
Humiliated, he walked past his teammates on the bench, sitting down as far away from Coach as he could. From there he watched the rest of the half, like there was an invisible wall separating him from the rest of his team.
• • •
To the rest of the team’s credit, Belmont hung in without Jayson. Down by thirteen when Jayson took the bench, the rest of the guys woke up and gave it their all.
With Jayson out, the offense ran through Cameron. Maybe it was Jayson leaving the game that did it; maybe Cam knew that someone had to step up and take charge—whatever the reason, he finally loosened up and started playing like his normal self. After a give-and-go from Bryan, Cameron sank a soft turnaround jumper right in front of the foul line.
Just getting that first basket was huge for Cam. For all of the Bobcats, really.
Alex Ahmad, given his first minutes all day, was full of energy. It helped that he was going up against Tyrese, who still couldn’t buy a basket and who let down his guard just a little knowing that Jayson was on the bench. But the Mavericks kept putting the ball in Ty’s hands, hoping to get their biggest scorer going. After a quick pass to Shabazz that was designed to get Ty an open look on the run, Alex timed the return pass perfectly. He jumped in front, knocking the ball away, then scrambled to get to it. With the team in transition, Alex then led Bryan just right with a bounce pass. Bryan pulled up, faked a jumper, and hit Cameron with a pass right in front of the basket. Two scores in a row for Cam.
Jayson couldn’t believe that these were the same Bobcats who seemed lost on the court just minutes earlier.
From there, the ’Cats played with heart and purpose—and a ton of game—cutting into the Mavs’ lead, one possession at a time.
When the horn sounded at the end of the half, the score was Mavericks 28, Bobcats 22. As the players filed into the locker room, Coach put a hand on Jayson’s shoulder. Jayson turned around.
“You and I are going to take a walk. Now.” Coach’s voice wasn’t much louder than a whisper. But when Jayson looked at his face, he could see that Coach was still angry at him.
They walked out the double doors and past the boys’ and girls’ locker rooms, into the empty cafeteria.
Just the two of them. Coach motioned for Jayson to take a seat across from him at one of the round tables.
“By now you know that I always do what I say I’m gonna do, right?” Coach said.
“Right.”
“Well,” he said, “if you yell at one of your teammates again, I am going to sit you down for the rest of the game.”
He was still talking in that quiet voice. But Jayson could see him fighting to control his own anger.
Coach said, “Is that clear?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Look at me when you talk to me, son.”
“Yes, sir,” Jayson said, meeting his eyes.
“I don’t care how well you’re playing, or how good a player you are in general,” Coach Rooney said. “If you’re not a good teammate, if you bully your own guys, then you can’t play on this team. I’ll bench you, plain and simple. Is that understood?”
“Yes, sir.”
“This is the way you acted at the very start of the season. I thought that was all in the past. Is there something bothering you that I should know about?”
The image of Zoe and Eric was in Jayson’s head, there and gone. But all he did was shake his head, telling himself that Zoe Montgomery didn’t matter right now. The only thing he cared about was beating his old team, winning the championship of this league.
“The only thing bothering me is the scoreboard.”
“Well, you can’t change it all by yourself,” Coach said. “When we get back on that court, you do what you’re supposed to do, and make everybody better.”
Jayson nodded.
“Good.” Coach managed a smile. “Now, go and show the Mavericks exactly what they’re missing.”
• • •
The second half played out much like the close of the first, with both teams going on mini-runs, but for the most part playing even ball. Jayson was now sharing the scoring load with Cam and Bryan, the way he had most of the season. Defensively, he continued to make life miserable for Ty, but Shabazz and Ray picked up the slack.
The Bobcats finished the third quarter on a 6–0 run to pull within two of the Mavs—by Jayson’s count the fifth time they had been within two points. But not once had they been able to completely close the gap.
And it was about to get harder. On the first possession of the fourth quarter, two things happened at once that changed the whole complexion of the game.
Shabazz, still hoping to get Ty involved in the offense, passed up a shot and fed Ty in the corner. Ty launched a jumper, with Jayson all over him. As they came down, Ty landed on Jayson’s foot, causing his ankle to turn. Jayson went down in a heap. The ball, meanwhile, found nothing but net.
Ty pumped his fist, barely even noticing Jayson on the ground, then leaped up and let out a shout. “THAT’S what I’m talking ’bout!”
As the Mavs chest-bumped Ty, the Bobcats surrounded Jayson, who was lying in pain on the court.
Coach Rooney called a time-out. “How bad is it, son?” he asked.
Jayson’s ankle felt like it was on fire, but there was no way he was going to tell that to Coach. “Not bad. I just need to walk it off.”
Moreland East’s school physician arrived and unlaced Jayson’s Zoom. He tested the ankle’s range of motion and kept an eye on Jayson’s face for reactions. Jayson was able to keep his cool. After a m
oment, the doctor said, “There’s very little swelling. That’s a good sign. Probably just a grade-one sprain. We should get it wrapped up, though, right away.”
Cam offered Jayson a hand and helped him stand up. Jayson winced at the pressure on his ankle.
“Walk on it if you can,” Coach said. “It’s the only way to keep it loose.”
Jayson was surprised that he actually did feel better walking on it.
He went to the bench and sat as the ankle was wrapped up tight. He looked downcourt and caught Ty’s eye. Ty seemed to be asking him a question without saying a word.
Jayson nodded, and Ty gave a small smile of relief before nodding back.
Then Jayson was up on his feet and ready to go. He had no idea how long he could last on the ankle. But he was about to find out. They all were at Moreland East.
• • •
It wasn’t long before Jayson discovered two things. First, he could handle the pain. Second, the ankle wrap was stealing his quick first step. The player who had been nicknamed Snap for the way he could disappear in a flash was now hobbling just enough to rob him of his speed. With Ty finally having found his shot, this was not a good combination. Jayson knew his friend would be coming fast now, calling for the ball, looking for his shot every trip down the court. If Jayson couldn’t keep up with him, he’d be doing more harm than good for the ’Cats.
Midway through the fourth, Jayson was beginning to feel the pain again. All the planting and quick changes of direction were tough on the ankle. Ty hadn’t shown him any mercy, driving past him twice for buckets, and faking a third time before pulling up to sink a sweet jumper.
“You sure you don’t want to just give us the game now and save yourself some heartbreak?” Ty asked him after the jumper.
“Keep talking, Ty,” Jayson said. “It’s the best game you got going.”
Offensively, Jayson was having trouble driving the ball east and west, missing with his own jumper. But he kept finding the open man every chance he got. Between Cam, Bryan, and a big-time three from Rashard, Belmont stayed in the game. But Ty was killing them whenever he had the ball.