Kat, Incorrigible

by Stephanie Burgis

  I hated that feeling.

  I swallowed hard against it and charged onward. I couldn’t push straight through the people in my way, unfortunately; that would have created too much of a commotion. But I squeezed my way through the gaps in the crowd. Sir Neville hadn’t noticed my approach; his scowl was still fixed on the highwayman in the center of the room. His whole body was braced to lunge. Oh, Lord, indeed. I hurried up my pace.

  “Ladies and gentlemen,” the highwayman called. “If you will kindly form two lines …”

  The crowd began to separate obediently. Sir Neville tensed. I could see it in his eyes: This was it. His opportunity to attack.

  I flung myself forward to get in his way.

  And that was when Angeline’s magic took effect.

  I smelled the flowery scent in the air before I realized what it meant. Then the gasps I heard made me turn my head, even as I flung myself toward Sir Neville.

  I tripped. I didn’t care. Even as I fell to the ground, I kept on staring.

  The loaded pistol had lifted directly out of the highwayman’s right hand. It floated in the air just above his head. He lunged for it and missed. It floated an enticing inch higher up. He glanced hastily at the flabbergasted crowd and jumped for it, dropping his empty pistol to reach out with both hands. His fingers brushed the butt of the loaded pistol and fell away without taking hold.

  The sound of the crowd changed. A high, nervous titter rang out behind me. The fearful whispering all around turned into a dangerous, low mutter of anticipation. I looked up at Sir Neville’s face and saw fierce satisfaction spread across it.

  “You fool, Angeline!” I muttered. Across the crowd, her face was filled with virtuous disinterest. But I wasn’t fooled. That flowery smell was unmistakable.

  “Ah … ladies and gentlemen,” the highwayman began. He licked his lips and made one more lunge for the loaded pistol before giving up on it and crossing his arms defensively. “If you will recall, I am not alone here in this room, and—”

  “Indeed you are not,” Sir Neville said, and smiled wolfishly. He began to stroll forward, at a rolling, predatory pace, stalking the highwayman from across the room. “Your associates don’t seem to be in any hurry to rescue you, though, do they?”

  “Er—,” the highwayman began. He looked across the room at Sir Neville’s face and thrust Elissa protectively behind his back.

  I let out a groan of sheer frustration. Trust Elissa to fall in love with such a fool! Yes, certainly he was being a chivalrous fool—and Sir Neville did look dangerous, it was true—but now the highwayman didn’t have a hostage to guarantee his own protection. Unless …

  Aha. Realization struck me. There was no time to think my plan through. So I just launched myself across the room.

  “Elissa!” I shrieked, at the top of my lungs. “I’ll rescue you!”

  I made out her horrified face behind the highwayman’s shoulder. Then I rolled straight into both of them, nearly knocking them over. I steadied myself on the shoulder of the highwayman’s black cloak.

  “Go!” I urged Elissa, and shoved her aside. She stumbled back. I fell against the highwayman’s side.

  “Oh!” I cried out to the watching crowd. I flung a hand up to my brow for proper dramatic emphasis. “Oh! He has a knife! Please don’t hurt me, sir! I beg you!”

  The highwayman swallowed. “Miss Katherine,” he whispered in my ear. “I hardly—”

  “Play along, you fool!” I hissed through my teeth. I kept my expression as tragic as any gothic heroine’s, for the sake of the horrified crowd around us. I whispered, “Do you want to get out of here, or do you want your brother to expose you right now in front of everyone?”

  The highwayman gave a jerk of surprise against my back. “How did you—?”

  “Quickly!” I hissed. Sir Neville wasn’t alone now. A group of other men had stepped away from the crowd to join him, including Frederick Carlyle, who looked surprisingly dangerous with a scowl on his handsome face.

  The highwayman stiffened his shoulders, put one hand behind my back, and swept his cloak out commandingly. “Stand back!” he bellowed to Sir Neville and all the other men. “If you don’t want to see her hurt.”

  Stepmama let out a scream and fainted. I was so pleased, I could have hugged her. A crowd of older women fluttered to her side, trying to revive her. It was almost as much diversion as we needed.

  “Clear a path!” the highwayman barked. “I’ll let the girl go only after you’ve let me past and safely to my horse.”

  Elissa let out a small, choked sound behind us. I peeked past the highwayman’s shoulder and saw her face nearly purple with emotion. She sat on the floor staring at us.

  Don’t worry, I mouthed to her.

  The blur of emotions on her face resolved into sheer exasperation. There was no chance at all that I would escape a lecture later, even if I did save the day.

  But we weren’t free yet.

  “Step aside, I said!” the highwayman called. “Or I’ll—”

  “Ouch!” I shrieked, and jumped as if I’d felt the point of a knife. Gasps sounded in the crowd.

  Sir Neville started forward. Frederick Carlyle flung out an arm to hold him back.

  “No,” he said. “Let them past. It’s too dangerous to interfere now.” He turned to meet the highwayman’s gaze full-on. His dark blue eyes looked colder than I’d ever seen them. “But if you don’t let her go the very moment you’re free …”

  “Oh, I shall,” said the highwayman, more quickly than he should have. “Don’t worry about that!”

  I gritted my teeth and restrained myself from rolling my eyes. Instead I just squirmed as if I felt the knife still against me. “Please!” I said. “Do hurry, before he hurts me!”

  Something glinted in the corner of my vision. I turned to look. It was Mr. Gregson’s spectacles, catching the light from the chandeliers. Mr. Gregson himself was watching me with what looked alarmingly like full understanding in his eyes … and a fair share of amusement, too. I bit my lip and looked away quickly.

  Just in time. The flowery smell suddenly got stronger. I saw Angeline’s lips moving in a silent whisper. I felt her spell arrowing toward us across the room. I could almost see it when I squinted, glimmering in the corner of my eyes, coming to pull apart everything I’d worked for.

  I couldn’t bear it. It was too much, too idiotic of her when I’d worked so hard, and with so little help from my co-conspirators. I could feel the pressure mounting in my head, until I could have exploded with sheer frustration. Then I recognized the arrogant satisfaction in Angeline’s face—saving Kat from herself, as usual—and I broke.

  “No!” I shouted.

  Pressure rocked through the air and shattered in a silent boom. I staggered. Something clattered behind me. Angeline fell back and was caught by her neighbors, who bent over her solicitously. My head was clear and ringing. Sir Neville was suddenly staring only at me.

  The flowery scent was gone from the air. Angeline’s magical attack had disappeared.

  I licked my lips, looking around the room. Who had realized the truth, apart from Sir Neville?

  Wait. That clattering sound I’d heard … I twisted around to peek over the highwayman’s shoulder. Then I wished I hadn’t.

  It was his loaded pistol. It had fallen from the air onto the empty dance floor, twelve feet behind us. Twelve feet behind us … and only six feet from the closest of the spectators. I couldn’t breathe. If we ran for the pistol, someone else would get there first. If we ran for the door and didn’t make it out in time, the highwayman might be shot down trying to escape, before anyone even knew who he really was.

  My horrified gaze met Elissa’s across the space between us. She was still sitting staring after us, looking ready to swoon at any moment. But when she followed my gaze to the pistol, color flooded her cheeks.

  “The pistol!” someone shouted in the crowd. “Get it!”

  A concerted rush started across the floor. />
  “Stand back!” the highwayman bellowed. But his voice cracked on the command.

  I whirled back around, trying to pull the highwayman with me. No one should shoot at him when he was holding me close. If we ran for the door—if we could make it past all the people who stood between us and it, and if—

  A shot rang out behind us. I jumped. The highwayman staggered. Oh, no.

  “I am so sorry,” Elissa’s soft voice said behind us. “It went off by accident.”

  I turned, slowed by dread. My sweet, gentle oldest sister was standing in the middle of the dance floor, covered in plaster. She was holding the pistol—now empty—in her hand, and another piece of molding had come off the ceiling above her.

  “Horrid thing,” she said, and shuddered, shaking flakes of plaster off her fair hair. “I can’t bear how dangerous it is!” She turned, as if carelessly, to toss it away from her. It flew straight across the room and out the window, in a crash of shattered glass.

  Charles had taught Elissa to throw like a boy for our family cricket games, before Stepmama had married Papa and banned the practice. I wondered if he had taught her to shoot, too.

  But I didn’t have time to gloat over her cleverness. The crowd of men who’d been aiming for the pistol had all turned back to us, now, along with Sir Neville’s original group.

  “Hurry!” I urged, and the highwayman nodded against my hair.

  “Out of my way, or the girl bleeds!” he snarled loudly, and the crowd around us fell back.

  It was hard to walk quickly when I had to stay just one step ahead of him, so close that no one could see the lack of a knife between us. Prickles burned against my skin as we shuffle-walked past Sir Neville. He didn’t speak. He didn’t have to. His silence was more frightening.

  He’d seen me defeat Angeline’s magic. He knew now that I’d been helping the highwayman. And as for how in the world I was going to defend myself against him …

  Well, there wasn’t time to worry about that now. We shuffled out of the assembly room and down the hall, out the door, and down the broad marble steps of the displaced Greece-in-Yorkshire building. Coachmen stared at us. The dogs ignored us, concentrating on their scavenging. A single horse stood tethered to a tree outside.

  The highwayman let go of me with visible relief. “I do beg your pardon, Miss Katherine. And I thank you with all my heart. But—”

  “No time!” I said. “Where are your associates? They can—”

  “What associates?”

  “‘What associates?’” I repeated. I stared at him through the dark. “You know who I mean! Your associates in the ballroom, who were holding pistols on the other guests and—”

  “I’m afraid I made those up,” the highwayman said, and smiled ruefully beneath his mask. “It seemed like a good precaution.”

  “But—” I cut myself off, gritting my teeth. Curse Elissa’s taste in men. There was no time to tell him how stupid he had been. That would have to wait until later. “You have to go now, as fast as you can, and—oh, Lord, it’s too late.”

  The crowd of men had already followed us, surging onto the top steps. They all stood there, watching us silently. Waiting. As soon as the highwayman jumped up onto his horse and I was out of danger, they would be after him. Once they caught him …

  I sighed. The adventure wasn’t over yet after all. And I would have a great deal of explaining to do for my sisters later.

  “Come on,” I said. “Help me onto your horse.”

  “What are you talking about?” He glanced back and forth between the ominously silent, watching crowd and my face, which seemed to frighten him even more. “Miss Katherine, you mustn’t—we couldn’t possibly—”

  “Do you want to survive tonight or not?” I said, and backed away from him, toward his horse, trying to look reluctant, as if I were under threat. I injected an expression of terror onto my face for the sake of our pursuers. It had a bad effect on my highwayman, though—I was afraid he would swoon at any moment. “Don’t be foolish,” I said briskly between my teeth. “There’s no other choice. You have to take me with you.”

  “I—I don’t know—I’m afraid Miss Stephenson might—”

  “Elissa would much rather have you escape a hanging,” I said firmly. “She is very attached to propriety, in case you hadn’t noticed. A hanging would be far too scandalous for her sensibilities. So.” I undid the knot that tethered the horse to the tree and scrambled up onto its back. There was no lady’s sidesaddle there, of course, so I had to swing my leg straight across like a man and forget all about my own modesty and proper sensibilities. I yanked my skirts down to cover as much of my stockinged legs as possible. “Are you coming or not?” I said.

  He glanced back at the silent crowd of men one more time. Then he gave in. “Oh, very well.” He jumped up behind me and swirled out his cloak. As the crowd surged toward us, he raised his voice to a dangerous roar.

  “No one dare follow if you want her returned to Grantham Abbey unharmed!”

  He wheeled the horse around in a fast circle, and it whinnied with excitement.

  “I already know that I’ll regret this,” the highwayman said.

  We tore down the long road, into the moonlight.

  Seventeen

  The wind blew through my short hair, and the highwayman’s cloak billowed around me. I laughed out loud with sheer exhilaration.

  The highwayman let out a pitiful groan.

  “How can you laugh?” he called. He was sitting just behind me, but I could barely hear his voice over the sound of the horse’s pounding hooves and the wind in my ears. “This is a disaster!”

  I shook my head against his chest. “That’s not it,” I shouted back. I spread my arms out, scooping up the rushing wind before me. “I’ve never ridden this fast in my life!”

  He only groaned again in answer. I decided to ignore him for the rest of the ride.

  I’d never be allowed to ride like a man again, straddling the horse and riding at full gallop. Poor Papa didn’t even own any horses that could run this quickly. I wouldn’t waste the rest of my thrilling ride by worrying about Elissa’s mooning suitor.

  But I had to turn my attention back to him when he slowed the horse and guided it into the dark woods that bordered the river. Tree branches poked into my face and eyes. I batted them away, slumping down to keep as safe from them as possible.

  “What are you doing?” I said.

  “We have to hide.” Now that we’d slowed to a trudge, to pick our way among the thickly clustered trees, the highwayman’s voice had settled back from despair into glum resignation. “Even if they follow us, we’ll have a chance if we’re far enough into the woods.”

  “Mm,” I said doubtfully, and peered through the darkness that surrounded us. The canopy of leaves above us was so full that only the thinnest strands of moonlight filtered through it, leaving the trees around us in deep shadow. With my vision dulled, my hearing intensified until I could hear my own breathing loud in my ears. I heard low, hooting bird cries and insects, and the crunch of the horse’s hooves through the undergrowth. It would be hard to pursue us here, it was true, but if the horse turned an ankle, we’d all be stuck. And then—

  “No!” I said, and straightened up so fast, the top of my head slammed into the highwayman’s chin. He yelped with pain. I said, “We can’t!”

  “I know this can’t be pleasant for you,” the highwayman said in a muffled voice. He’d dropped one of his hands from the reins to clutch his jaw. “But I did try to warn you, and you will be perfectly safe. You needn’t be afraid of—”

  “I’m not,” I said. “You don’t understand. We have to get back to Grantham Abbey right now!”

  “Miss Katherine, every man from the assembly ball will be chasing down that road at full speed. If they catch us—”

  “If they reach Grantham Abbey before us,” I said grimly, “then Sir Neville will go straight to your room to tell you what’s happened and roust you up for the manh
unt. And what will he find there?”

  Sir Neville’s younger brother swallowed audibly. “Ah. I hadn’t thought of that.”

  “I’m not surprised.” I sighed. “Now do you understand why we have to hurry back?”

  “All right. Yes. Yes, I do see that.” His shoulders rose and fell behind me. “This is all much more complicated than I’d expected.” He tugged at the reins, and the horse turned back obediently, picking his way back toward the moonlit opening to the road.

  “You didn’t expect it to be complicated?” I said. “I know you’ve been robbing carriages for a long time now, but surely you must have known it would be more difficult to rob a whole ballroom full of people.”

  “But I haven’t been,” the highwayman said.

  “I beg your pardon?” I twisted around in his arms to stare at him. “I saw you.”

  “I tried to rob a ballroom,” he said. “I’ve never robbed a carriage in my life.”

  “But—but—” I slammed my mouth shut to stop stammering.

  “I’d heard people talking at dinner two nights ago,” he said. “All about the highwayman and how dangerous he was. So I thought, there’s a way to get enough fortune to marry.”

  “Oh, my Lord,” I said. “Are you telling me you put on a cloak and mask, shot out the ceiling of the assembly rooms, and risked a hanging, only so you could afford to offer marriage to my sister?”

  Mr. Collingwood pulled off his mask. His face shone in the moonlight as we neared the road, pale and dreamy against his jet-black hair. “Well,” he said, “it was the only thing I could think of.”

  “But—,” I started again. Then I stopped. I jerked around. “Did you hear that?”

  “What?” Mr. Collingwood didn’t bother to look back. He was already pointing the horse’s nose at the road ahead. “We’ll have to hurry.”

  “No,” I said. My voice sounded strange and choked, as if it belonged to someone else. “I don’t think we will. I think you should stop the horse right now.”