Heaven Can Wait

by Cally Taylor

  The waitress shrugged. ‘Maybe. Maybe not. Many couple come and go. I’m waitress, not freakin’ Colombo.’

  She was as much help as a rice-paper umbrella, and talking to her was wasting valuable time.

  ‘Thanks for your help,’ I said, hurrying back out of the door, the bell tinkling behind me as I stepped onto the wet street.

  Where had Dan and Anna gone? If I’d just missed them maybe I could catch them up. I looked left and right, searching for clues. The tube station was a couple of metres to the right of where I was standing and the bus stop was over the road. Anna lived near Baker Street underground and couldn’t stand travelling by bus, so she’d have gone home by tube and Dan would have taken a bus, or maybe a cab. But what if they hadn’t gone home at all? What if they’d gone on to a pub in the West End or something? I’d never find them. I was too late.

  I pulled my thin jacket around me and shivered. The rain was getting heavier and I needed somewhere to gather my thoughts before I headed back to the House of Wannabe Ghosts. I sprinted across the road to the bus stop and squeezed against the mass of shivering students sheltering from the rain. Cars splashed through deep puddles, drenching anyone daring to walk on the pavement. People were hiding under anything and everything they could find. Even the entrance to the tube station was crowded, but one woman was determined to get out into the rain. I watched as she elbowed people out of her way and tottered down the street, her handbag held over her very straight, very blonde hair.

  It was Anna!

  And she was going into Kung Po’s.

  I sprinted back across the street, dodging cars and motorbikes, and hovered outside the clothes shop next door as my heart thumped in my chest. Why had Anna gone into the restaurant? Maybe the waitress had lied to me and there was a reservation for a couple at ten o’clock. Was Dan on his way too?

  I was just about to slip into the restaurant when Kung Po’s doorbell tinkled again and Anna stepped back out onto the street, her mobile clamped to her ear.

  ‘Jess,’ she was saying. ‘Sorry I missed your call. I was out with Dan and I only went and bloody left my mobile on the table. I was halfway to Baker Street when I remembered.’

  There was a pause as Jess answered.

  ‘Hang on,’ Anna interrupted. ‘It’s absolutely pissing down. Give me a sec, OK? Don’t go anywhere. I’ve got so much to tell you.’

  She hurried off, her high heels clattering on the wet pavement and I followed behind, my head down. When I passed a bin stuffed full with free newspapers, I grabbed one and held it in front of my face, angling it so I could still see Anna’s pencil-thin heels striding ahead of me as she walked into Swiss Cottage tube station and leaned up against a wall. I squeezed myself between two ticket machines, close enough to hear the conversation Anna had resumed with Jess, but far enough away that she wouldn’t immediately notice the dripping wet girl standing in a puddle of rainwater with her nose in a discarded newspaper.

  ‘Yes,’ Anna was saying. ‘Actually, Dan seemed much chirpier than the last time I saw him and he seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say … No, he didn’t mention Lucy …’

  My heart sunk. Dan didn’t mention me once during a meal? Not once?

  ‘Yeah,’ Anna said. ‘I think that’s a good sign too. Jess, if I tell you something, do you promise you won’t over-react? Promise? I think Dan was flirting with me …’

  I nearly dropped my newspaper. What?! WHAT?!

  ‘When I tried to top up his wine glass he put his hand on mine to stop me pouring so much. I protested, of course, and he gave me this look …. Yes, that kind of look and he didn’t look away … I actually had butterflies, Jess.’

  I lowered my newspaper and glared at her. What the hell was she playing at? Any look Dan may have given her would have been a ‘stop trying to get me as pissed as you’ look. We both used to laugh at how drunk Anna liked to get. The only thing was, she didn’t like getting pissed on her own. Everyone else had to join in, whether they liked it or not.

  ‘Why did I have butterflies?’ she continued. ‘Because Dan’s Lucy’s fiancé, was Lucy’s fiancé, and I couldn’t understand what was he doing flirting with me, but there was a spark between us, Jess, a real connection …Yes I did flirt back … No, no, it’s not like that, Jess. I didn’t want anything like this to happen, honestly, you know that … Jess, hang on a minute, let me speak … I only met up with Dan because I was trying to comfort him. I didn’t have any ulterior motives.’

  She fell silent as, I assumed, Jess asked her what the hell she thought she was playing at. I couldn’t see Anna’s reaction because her back was to me, but her shoulders slumped and she looked like she was sighing. Sighing? She didn’t have a reason to sigh. She’d been flirting with my boyfriend. Where was her loyalty to me? She was supposed to be my best friend.

  ‘Jess,’ she said. ‘Jess, don’t be angry with me, but I think I’m falling in love with Dan and I’m pretty sure he feels the same way. I want him to be the father of my child.’

  Something inside me snapped. All I could feel was blind rage and a pain in my chest as I charged up to Anna and shoved her with all of my strength. She gasped and stumbled backwards, grabbing at the wall. I pushed her again and she fell to the floor, her mobile clattering beside her.

  ‘What’s your fucking problem?’ she shouted, grabbing her mobile and bag from the grubby tube floor and scrabbling to her feet.

  I opened my mouth to reply, then shut it again, Saint Bob’s warning ringing in my ears. If I said even one word to Anna, my task would be cancelled.

  ‘I know who you are,’ she said, looking me up and down. She was smiling, but her eyes were cold. ‘You’re that mute freak that’s been stalking Dan. I don’t know if you’ve taken a look in the mirror recently, darling, but he’s way out of your league. Oh, and your line in conversation is a little … how can I put it? Lacking.’

  I raised my arm to slap her, but she grabbed my wrist.

  ‘I wouldn’t,’ she said, pushing the hair out of her eyes. ‘I think you’ve done enough damage already, don’t you? Now, do excuse me while I go and see Dan and tell him what a freak you are.’ She smirked. ‘Game over, loser. I win.’

  I watched helplessly as she tossed her bag over her shoulder and sashayed towards the exit. ‘By the way,’ she said, turning back, ‘he’s a fantastic shag.’

  Chapter Thirty-two

  Friday 10th May

  Day Fourteen

  ‘Lucy … Lucy … Lucy … wake up,’ said a gentle male voice.

  I rolled over and pulled the duvet over my head. ‘Go away, Dan. I hate you.’

  ‘Lucy,’ the voice said, more insistently. ‘It’s nine o’clock. You’re supposed to be at work.’

  ‘And you’re supposed to be in love with me, you bastard.’

  I felt the duvet being pulled from my head and I lashed out. ‘Fuck off.’

  ‘Fuck off yourself, Lucy,’ said a woman’s voice. ‘We’re only trying to help.’

  Who the hell was in my bedroom?

  I rolled over and opened one eye a crack. My housemates were standing beside my bed; Brian was rubbing his moustache, Claire was twisting one of her dreads round and round her finger.

  ‘You OK, Lucy?’ she said, looking at me with concern.

  I put a hand to my head. It felt like someone was chiselling away at the left side of my skull.

  ‘My head hurts,’ I said.

  Claire raised her eyebrows. ‘I’m not surprised. Your arse probably hurts too.’

  ‘What?’ I reached under the covers, pressed one of my bum cheeks and gasped with pain. ‘What happened to me?’

  ‘You were very, very drunk when you came home,’ Brian said, releasing his moustache and crossing his arms. ‘You could hardly stand.’

  ‘And you fell down the stairs,’ Claire added. ‘Twice.’

  I rubbed my eyes. They felt swollen and sore and, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t open them more than a few millimetres.


  ‘Did I fall on my eyes as well?’

  ‘No,’ Claire said, ‘but you did cry, a lot.’

  I swallowed. My throat felt as though I’d gargled sand. ‘Did I shout a lot too?’

  Claire and Brian looked at each other. ‘Yes,’ they said in unison. ‘A lot.’

  ‘You were very, very pissed off with some woman called Anna,’ Claire added.

  Anna? What had she … the memory of the night before rushed back in a flash; the rain, Anna’s phone call, her revelation, our fight, and the evil look in her eyes when she’d told me Dan was a great shag. Dan. My Dan. A great shag. My eyes filled with hot, angry tears. How could he have done that to me? HOW? He’d claimed he’d be devastated if anything happened to me, but I’d only been dead for five minutes and he was already sleeping with one of my best friends. I’d never have shagged one of his mates if things were reversed and he’d died first. Never. What the hell was he thinking?

  I’d gone straight to the pub after my fight with Anna, not the White Lion (I didn’t want to risk running into anyone I knew), but to the first pub I found. I must have downed three or four foul-coloured shots of God-knows-what, before I ordered a bottle of wine and sat in a corner and drank it all by myself. I couldn’t remember anything after that. I couldn’t remember making my way home, letting myself in, or anything Claire and Brian had just described. I felt suddenly, horribly, nauseous.

  ‘Here,’ Brian said, whipping a bucket out from under the bed. ‘You might need this, again.’

  ‘Oh God,’ said Claire, jumping back and wrinkling her nose. ‘Please don’t.’

  I gripped the bucket and heaved but nothing came out.

  ‘Did I tell you what happened?’ I asked as I placed it back on the floor.

  ‘Yes,’ they said in unison. ‘Several times.’

  I grimaced. ‘Sorry.’

  ‘Are you going to work today?’ Brian said, glancing at his watch. ‘Or would you like us to call in sick for you?’

  ‘No thanks,’ I said, rubbing my aching head. ‘ I have to go in. I’m going to find love for Archie if it kills me, no pun intended. There is no way I’m going to let Anna get her claws into Dan. No fucking way.’

  Brian raised his eyebrows. He’d heard me swear more in the last five minutes than in the previous two weeks, but I really didn’t care.

  ‘Lucy.’ Claire perched on the edge of the bed and tapped me on the leg. ‘If there’s anything you need us to do to help, we’ll be here for you. Both of us.’

  Brian nodded vigorously. ‘Absolutely.’

  ‘Thanks, guys.’ I smiled up at the two of them.

  ‘Oh,’ said Claire, handing me a plastic bag full of what looked like netting and lace. ‘Don’t forget to take this to work with you.’

  ‘What is it?’ I asked, peering inside.

  ‘Just a few of my things. When you weren’t screaming about Anna last night, you were ranting on about some work thing that’s happening today?’

  ‘What work thing?’

  ‘No idea,’ Claire said. ‘All you kept saying was, “I have to be Madonna. I have to be Madonna.’”

  I looked at her blankly. Why would I want to be Madonna?

  Archie welcomed me to work with a massive smile. ‘Afternoon. Nice of you to join us. You’re a very radiant shade of green, if I may say so.’

  I squeezed out a smile. ‘I think I drank my body weight in alcohol last night.’

  ‘You didn’t get drunk because of what happened between us, did you?’ Archie said, his smile slipping.

  ‘No, no.’ I shook my head. ‘Nothing to do with that.’

  ‘I’m glad, because I really do want us to be friends.’

  ‘We are friends, Archie. Only my friends can get away with telling me how rough I look without being swiped round the head.’

  He grinned. ‘Good, because you look dog-awful.’

  I pretended to clip him round the head, but my stomach lurched horribly. I needed to sit down quickly or risk throwing up over Archie’s ultra-neat desk.

  ‘See you later,’ I said as I staggered across the office. ‘Mine’s a strong coffee.’

  It was only when I slumped into my chair that I noticed Nigel wasn’t wearing his normal jeans and T-shirt uniform. He was dressed in a thick, brown cloak with a hood almost obscuring his face.

  I nudged him. ‘Why are you dressed up like Friar Tuck?’

  ‘Obi-Wan,’ he said, peering at his monitor.

  ‘Huh? Who won what?’

  ‘Lucy,’ he said, looking at me like I was the thickest person on the planet, ‘I. Am. Dressed. Up. As. Obi -Wan Kenobi. From Star Wars? Fancy dress day. Remember?’

  I looked down at the bag on my lap and pulled out a couple of raggy pieces of lace. One of them looked like a top, another was a pair of fishnets. In the bottom was my denim miniskirt and several rosaries and crucifixes that definitely didn’t belong to me. Of course, it was fancy dress day. Other than karaoke, my favourite thing in the world was Madonna, circa 1987. Good old Claire.

  ‘You might want to get changed into your hooker outfit now,’ Nigel said. ‘Graham will have a spazz if he notices you haven’t got changed.’

  ‘What about Graham and Archie?’ I said, ignoring the hooker comment. ‘They’re wearing their normal clothes.’

  Nigel shrugged. ‘Graham will get changed later. He always leaves it until the last minute, but Archie had better get changed ASAP. He knows the consequences.’

  ‘Which are?’

  ‘You’ll find out later. Now, go and get changed.’

  Getting changed in the stuffy ladies’ loos was such a bad idea. I was sick twice and took deep breaths as I tottered back to my desk in my ridiculously high, black ankle boots, crucifixes clanking around my neck and the lacy vest top slipping off my shoulder.

  ‘Looking very slutty there, Miss Brown,’ Nigel said as I sat down.

  ‘Actually, I’m supposed to be Madonna, you ignoramus.’

  ‘Yeah? In which gothic universe?’

  ‘Oh shut up, Cape Head,’ I said, swiping at his head. ‘What would you know?’

  I peered at my screen and started to type, but was distracted by the feeling that someone was staring me. I swivelled round in my seat. Archie grinned at me from across the room.

  ‘What?’ I mouthed.

  ‘Nothing,’ he said and shook his head.

  I was relieved we’d sorted things out after our little chat the day before. Archie seemed more comfortable around me and had stopped gazing at me with a woeful ‘I think I love you’ look. But there was still one major problem – I only had six days left to find him love.

  I stared at my monitor, my finger poised over the mouse. Now what? Dating sites were out. It would take at least a week to register, write Archie’s profile, wait for someone to show an interest in him, swap emails and arrange a date. And we didn’t have a week! I typed ‘dating in London’ into the browser and examined the possibilities.

  Find love in your lunch hour? No, it sounded a bit like speed-dating and look how well that went last time!

  Gay and Lesbian dating? No.

  London Escorts? Absolutely not. I needed to find Archie love, not a quick leg-over.

  Webcam dating? No, Archie would be too shy (and there was a danger he’d bore his date to death talking about the technical specifications of her webcam).

  What I needed was to find somewhere where Archie would feel at ease and fit in. I clicked from site to site, scanning the pages until, finally, something caught my eye – DJ Kirk’s dating party .

  Kirk … my mind starting racing. Why did Kirk ring a bell? No, not a bell, more of a whooshing sound. A sci-fi whooshing sound. Aha! Captain Kirk. From Star Trek. Of course. Archie had told me he loved that programme. Maybe it was something to do with Star Trek that he could get involved in? There were bound to be female fans of Star Trek. In fact, Jess had once drunkenly admitted to having a bit of a crush on Jean Luc Picard. I’d ribbed her mercilessly about it for weeks.


  I typed ‘Star Trek convention’ into Google and crossed my fingers. My eyes scanned the page and … Yes! … there was one and it was scheduled for the weekend. It had to be fate.

  Archie grinned at me as I sauntered up to his desk, my crucifixes clanging like church bells.

  ‘Nice outfit, Lucy,’ he said, raising an eyebrow. ‘Are you supposed to be a hook —’

  ‘I’m Madonna.’

  ‘Right. Of course. Silly me.’

  ‘So where’s your costume?’

  He shrugged. ‘I haven’t got one.’

  ‘Why not?’ I lowered my voice to a whisper. ‘You know there’s a forfeit for worst or no costume, don’t you?’

  ‘Of course I know,’ Archie said, not looking the slightest bit bothered. ‘I’ve worked here for three years. I’m just tired of people telling me what to do.’

  I hoped that wasn’t a dig about me giving him a make-over.

  ‘No, no,’ he said immediately, reading the expression on my face. ‘I’m not talking about you. I’ve just realised that I need to learn to stand up for myself and take responsibility for my own life.’

  ‘Well, good on you,’ I said, approving of my friend’s new, feisty attitude. ‘By the way, what are you up to this weekend?’

  ‘Nothing in particular,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘Why?’

  ‘It’s a surprise, but you’ll love it. Trust me.’

  ‘I trusted you once before, remember.’ Archie ran a hand through his hair and winked at me. ‘And I ended up getting shorn like a sheep.’

  I picked a paperclip up off the desk and threw it at him. ‘It’s better than the scraggy mess you had before. Anyway, you’ll love what I’ve got planned for tomorrow. Meet me at Edgware Road at 10 a.m.’

  ‘Edgware Road tube at 10 a.m.’ he said, tapping the information into his personal organiser. ‘You’re on.’

  I grinned at him and tottered back to my desk feeling very pleased with myself. I just knew he was going to love the Star Wars convention.

  ‘Sandwich?’ said a chirpy voice in my ear.

  I jumped and typed sdlsflkds into the Star Trek convention booking form.