Betrayed Hearts

by Susan Anne Mason

  What he saw halted him in his tracks. His heart constricted, creating a slow ache that radiated outward from his chest. Lily lay curled in a ball on the stark metal cot against the wall, her hair in disarray, her back to the door. “Go away.”

  The terse words shook him. “Lily, please. Talk to me.”

  She turned over to pierce him with an angry stare. “If you’re here to find out whether I’m guilty or not, the answer is yes. I took the money. So you might as well leave.” She flipped back to face the wall.

  It couldn’t be. There had to be some other explanation. “Why?” he whispered.

  “Does it matter? Just go, Nick. I told you I’d ruin your life.”

  The disgust in her tone tore through him like the slash of a knife. He stood still for a moment, trying to absorb the pain. Who was this harsh woman? What had become of the laughing, tender Lily he’d come to love? She was in there somewhere. He was sure.

  He had to try one more time to get through to her. “There’s no crime so terrible that God won’t forgive. That I won’t forgive. We can sort this out together—if you’ll just talk to me.”

  Her back muscles visibly stiffened. “Leave. Me. Alone.”

  The loathing in her voice sapped the last of his strength from him, rooting him to the spot, in a nightmare he couldn’t wake up from.

  “Let’s go, Nick.” Mike’s firm hand on his shoulder broke Nick from his immobility.

  He stumbled backward, made an abrupt turn, and strode straight out through the station, not stopping until he reached the street. The first drops of rain hit his face as he jumped into his truck and laid his forehead on the steering wheel. Harsh gasps wheezed from his lungs.

  Why had Lily kept this secret? He thought they’d moved past the stage of distrust to something deeper. Thought his love would be enough to conquer her inner demons.

  He pounded his fist on the dashboard until pain shot up his arm. This would not be the end of their story. No matter what it took, he’d get to the bottom of this mess and figure out a solution. He sagged back in his seat and closed his eyes to pray.

  Lord, I need your help. Send your healing grace to all of us involved in this unfortunate situation. Show us a way out of this abyss we’ve fallen into. If there is any way out…

  With God all things are possible. His favorite verse from Matthew crept into his mind. As he recited the rest of the passage, a calming sense of peace invaded his muscles. He was not alone. God would be with him through this whole ordeal.

  He had no idea how long he’d been sitting there when the door to the police station opened and Mike led Lily out in handcuffs. Nick straightened in his seat, noticing through the rain-splattered window the Bismarck police car now parked in front. For one brief moment, Lily glanced his way, their eyes locking. The stark sorrow on her face mirrored his own misery.

  She ducked her head when Mike handed her into the waiting car. As Nick leapt out of his truck, the sky opened up. A solid sheet of rain pelted him, soaking him to the skin within seconds. Alone in the middle of the road, he watched the squad car pull away, taking the woman he loved off to jail.

  28

  Following an almost sleepless night, Nick rose early with a plan of action in mind. Somewhere in the pre-dawn darkness, he decided to pay Tobias Cunningham a visit. If Lily wouldn’t answer his questions, maybe her father would. And maybe, just maybe, he could persuade the man to see reason.

  After a hot shower and a quick cup of coffee, Nick grabbed his keys from the hook in the front entrance and jogged down the steps to his truck.

  His hand froze on the door handle at the sight of Sarah Jane standing in the driveway, hands clasped in front of her. Nick swallowed a groan. This was the last thing he needed right now.

  “Hello, Nick. Can I speak with you for a minute?” The wind blew strands of hair around her serious face.

  He pulled his keys from the lock. “Actually, I was just heading out.”

  “It’s important.”

  The beginning of a headache pulsed across Nick’s forehead. “Fine, but I am in a hurry.”

  Sarah Jane seemed to make an effort to soften her demeanor, relaxing the pinched lines around her mouth. “I hear Lily was arrested yesterday. You must be upset.”

  Nick folded his arms and leaned a hip against the vehicle, tamping down his impatience. “Of course, I’m upset.”

  “I also heard you turned down Uncle Ted’s position.”

  Wisps of temper wound through his system. Sometimes the gossip mill of a small town frayed his last nerve. “That’s right.”

  “All because of Lily Draper?” Her voice rose a notch, competing with the sound of a car whizzing by.

  “Right again.”

  Her brows crashed together in a scowl, her disapproval no longer hidden behind a mask of politeness. She stepped forward, her eyes hard. “Now that you know her true nature, I’m sure you’d like to re-consider your decision.”

  The hint of challenge in her voice raised the hairs on the back of Nick’s neck. He straightened, moving away from the truck. “Sorry to disappoint you, but my decision stands.”

  Sarah Jane’s mouth fell open. “You’d give up your vocation for a—a convicted criminal?”

  The teeth of Nick’s temper took hold, and he yanked the driver’s door open. “She’s not convicted yet, and I am not discussing this with you.”

  Sarah Jane’s footsteps skittered across the pavement. “You’re not the man I thought you were, Nick Logan. I guess God isn’t important enough to you after all.”

  Nick froze, his insides solidifying to stone, as he made a slow turn to face her. “What did you say?”

  “If you can choose a woman like that over God’s calling...” Her nose wrinkled in disgust as though she’d just smelled something rotten.

  Blind fury raced unchecked through Nick’s veins. “My relationship with the Lord is none of yours—or anyone else’s—business.”

  “I can’t believe Mike and I went to all that trouble for nothing.” Her eyes widened and a hint of fear crossed her features. She took a step back, pulling her cardigan tighter around her.

  “You had no right to go digging around in Lily’s life.” Betrayal stung like an angry wasp at the idea of Mike conspiring with Sarah Jane behind his back.

  Her cheeks reddened. “We were just looking out for you. Because we care about you.”

  Nick didn’t believe for one minute that Sarah Jane had any true feelings for him.

  She stuck out her chin. “I thought you’d be glad to know the truth. A future minister can’t afford to associate with the likes of her.”

  A core of hot anger burned up his spine. “Who are you to judge? You know nothing of the circumstances surrounding Lily’s actions.”

  Hard lines bracketed her mouth. “What does it matter? Sin is still sin, no matter what the circumstance.”

  Nick leveled a steely gaze at her. “You’re right. It doesn’t matter.” That much had become crystal clear to him. “I love Lily—no matter what she may have done in the past.”

  Sarah Jane’s smile of triumph slipped, and she clamped her thin lips together.

  Nick leaned closer to make his point. “This conversation is over, and I don’t ever want to hear of you bothering Lily again. Is that clear?”

  He glared at her until she nodded. Then he pulled his keys out of his pocket. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have somewhere to be.”

  29

  Lily woke in the Bismarck jail with no conception of what time it was. Dread saturated her spirit as she stared at the bleak cement walls. With a groan, she rolled over on her lumpy cot, the one she’d lived on for twenty-four hours now. The springs squeaked out a noisy protest at her movement. Silent tears leaked onto the scratchy wool blanket beneath her. She tried not to think about Nick and the look of shock on his face the last time she’d seen him. How he must despise her after everything that happened, not to mention the cruel way she’d treated him. She would rather have walked over
hot coals than hurt him like that, but it was the only way to make him see that she was no good for him—that they could never share a future together.

  By now Sarah Jane would be gloating over Lily’s downfall. She’d probably go to offer Nick comfort. Maybe even convince him she was the right woman for him after all, now that he realized how much of a sinner Lily was. A sob escaped to echo in the sterile room.

  Everyone else must hate her, too. She’d left Peg high and dry. Left Maxi with no explanation. Lily pulled herself upright on the rickety bed, clutching her knees to her chest. How she missed them all. In a short amount of time, they’d become her family.

  One thing she didn’t regret was her last minute decision not to tell Chloe she was her sister. God had guided her to that truth, she was sure of it. He must have known she was about to become an incarcerated criminal. Not exactly the type of person Chloe would want for a relative.

  She sighed and brushed away useless tears. This kind of thinking was pointless.

  What was done, was done—nothing could change that. She needed to focus on the present, get through the next few days and accept the consequences of her actions. Once she atoned for her sins in the eyes of God and the law, she could move on with her life. Get a job. Maybe try to reconnect with Chloe at some point in the future.

  Lily swung her legs over the side of the cot. Cold cement shocked the soles of her bare feet. She searched for her socks and pulled them on. The dank air in the jail cell crept into her body, chilling her insides.

  Her dark thoughts turned to her father and how smug he’d looked when Mike dragged her into the police station. He’d waited all these years for a way to get back at her for the trouble she’d caused him. In his mind, she could never pay a high enough price for her supposed crimes. He would never be proud of her or happy for her, no matter what she accomplished. She was a noose around his neck—an inconvenient responsibility—nothing more. She realized now that even though she hadn’t lived under his roof for nearly seven years, his destructive influence still haunted her.

  She pushed to the floor and paced the small area. Her body shook with a combination of toxic emotions. She’d been running from this man for years now. It had to stop before she let his poison destroy the rest of her life. Avoiding Tobias hadn’t seemed to work. Perhaps she needed to confront him. Get the answers she needed about the past and break her ties to him. She would get the closure she needed to move on—once and for all.

  Lily moved to the bars of her cell and looked down the corridor. The glimpse of a uniform confirmed the guard’s presence.

  ****

  “Guard,” she called out. “I’d like my one phone call now please.”

  Of course Tobias had agreed to come. He couldn’t resist gloating at seeing her locked up like an animal. Lily lay on the bed and counted the minutes until he arrived, planning the things she would tell the man she no longer considered a father. At last, the click of the cell door roused her from her lethargy.

  A burly guard stood in the frame of the door. “You have a visitor.”

  Lily pushed up from the cot. Instant nerves jumped in her stomach.

  “Says he’s your father. Do you want to see him?”

  Lily pressed her lips together then released a shaky breath. “Yes. Thank you.”

  She followed the guard down a narrow corridor to a waiting room equipped with a metal table and two folding chairs. Tobias sat at the table, hands clasped on top.

  She halted partway through the door, peering closer to make sure it was her father. He’d lost so much weight, she hardly recognized him. His shirt hung on his thin frame. A growth of stubble hugged his ragged face. The door clicked closed behind her, jarring her into action. She stepped further into the room. “Hello, Tobias.”

  He grunted. “If you think you can get me to drop the charges, you’re wasting your time.”

  “That’s not why I asked you here.” She took a careful seat across the table from him.

  “Why then?”

  She held her hands in her lap so he wouldn’t see them tremble, unwilling to give him the satisfaction of seeing her rattled. “I found the newspaper clipping in your lockbox. I know all about my past. About my real family.”

  He winced at her words. “Figured as much, since the papers were gone.”

  She kept her gaze steady. “I need you to answer some questions.” At his lack of response, she licked her dry lips and forged on. “When you and Mama adopted me, why did you tell the doctor in Rainbow Falls that I had died?”

  An expression close to fear passed over his face before he dropped his gaze. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  For a supposedly pious man, he lied easily. She inhaled and counted to ten before speaking. “Doctor Anderson told me the hospital chaplain, a Tobias Cunningham, called to inform him of my death. You also sent him falsified medical records and a fake death certificate.”

  The only change in his demeanor was a tick in his jaw.

  “What made you do something like that?”

  For a minute, she thought he’d refuse to answer. Then his demeanor changed. His hunched shoulders seemed to deflate, air whooshing out of him like a punctured tire.

  He shook his head, eyes fixed on the tabletop. “All your mama ever wanted was a child. For some reason, God saw fit to deny us that gift.” He lifted his blood-shot gaze to her. “When you came into the hospital, orphaned and so near death, Laura insisted on coming to see you. Fell in love with you right away. I didn’t want her getting attached, figuring you would likely die. But you didn’t.” Bitterness laced his words.

  “No, I didn’t.” Lily bit her lip, thinking of her beloved mother who always made her feel adored and wanted.

  “Despite my reservations, Laura insisted on adopting you. I would’ve done anything to make her happy.” He paused, a faraway look in his eyes, obviously lost in his memories. “I had to make sure no one would come back to claim you. Some distant relative or another. I couldn’t bear that for Laura. I figured if everyone thought you were dead, there’d never be a problem.” His mouth twisted into a grimace.

  So he’d done it for her mother. A woman he loved to the point of obsession. “Why didn’t you tell me the truth after she died?”

  His gaze narrowed. “My Laura was gone. Nothing else mattered.” His tone turned accusatory.

  Lily lifted her chin and confronted his resentment head on. “You always blamed me for her death. I want to know why.”

  Tobias shifted on his chair. Color returned to his ashen cheeks. “You came home with the chicken pox. She caught it from you and died because of it. I couldn’t forgive you for that.”

  Lily gasped as memories swamped her. Mama dabbing calamine lotion on itchy scabs. Bathing Lily’s fevered brow. Reading her stories, singing her songs. Had her mother nursed her back to health only to contract the disease herself? “I’m sorry. I never knew it was the chicken pox.” She swallowed a ball of guilt, finally understanding why her father had blamed her. Grief, especially one as deep-seated as her father’s, was never rational. Nevertheless, it didn’t excuse the years of neglect that followed.

  She pulled herself upright on her chair. “I have some things I need to say to you.” Sweat dampened her palms. “I know my behavior as a teenager was far from ideal, but the way you treated me was reprehensible.” She stopped to compose herself but refused to look away. “I needed a father after Mama died. Instead you acted like you…hated me.”

  Tobias shuddered. “You have no idea what losing Laura cost me.” His voice wavered. “She took everything when she went. I had nothing left to give.”

  A trickle of compassion wormed its way into her heart but not enough to excuse his actions. “Face it, Tobias,” she said sadly. “You never wanted me. From the moment I came to live with you, you resented me taking Mama’s attention away from you.”

  He hung his head, picking at a spot of dirt on the table, his silence confirming her claim.

  “The neg
lect, the beatings, the emotional abuse…they all scarred me in ways you’ll never know.” She took a breath, willing herself to get through this last speech without breaking down. “Since I’ve been in Rainbow Falls, I’ve learned the truth about the God you worship. He isn’t harsh and vindictive, as you wanted me to believe. He is loving and patient, compassionate and forgiving.” She took a deep breath and exhaled. “And because of that, I am going to try very hard to forgive you—more for my sake than yours—so I can move on with my life.”

  He remained stone-faced, avoiding her eyes.

  “For what it’s worth, I am sorry about the money, and I did intend to pay you back one day.”

  His head shot up at last, eyes blazing. “I don’t believe that for one minute, and neither will the judge.”

  Of course he didn’t believe her. Tobias had never given her the benefit of the doubt, not once. The stale air in the enclosed room became heavier, blanketing her in regret. “I want you to know no matter what happens in court tomorrow, our relationship is over. I’m no longer your responsibility or your family. I plan to officially change my name back to Strickland, or maybe I’ll keep Draper. Mama would’ve liked that.”

  He gripped the edge of the table until his knuckles turned white.

  She rose, her chair scraping against the cement floor, and studied him with objective eyes. For once, the usual hatred didn’t stir in her chest. She was able to view him as a man to be pitied. A man who, though he claimed to love God, had no real concept of what the word meant. His love was not God’s love. Of that she was certain. In a moment of clarity, she understood that no matter what she’d done in her life, her Heavenly Father had never stopped loving her. Warmth filled her soul with the knowledge she was not alone and never would be again. “Good-bye, Tobias.”

  She crossed the room, knocked on the door for the guard, and waited.

  “I’m dying.”

  She barely heard the soft-spoken words. They hung in the air between them.