I’m still enmeshed in my spiritual work with my teacher, Light (she changed her name from Ariana years back), and often make the trek to her trailer in the Arizona desert, basking in her precious, selfless, hardcore knowledge. She reminds me that the universe is unbiased and neutral, and we imprint it with our desires. Our every thought, deed, and word becomes our reality. The good Lord said “It is done unto you as you believe,” and I have discovered that to be true. I try not to judge or condemn, and even when things get difficult, I know I have the choice to mope and moan or take the high road.
My Lady D’Arbanville has been living in New York with her three youngest kids for a long time, but we are still ascloseasthis. She has come up with three of my four book titles, including the most recent, Let’s Spend the Night Together. She always gives me the truth, even when it hurts like a bitch. In fact, my adored dolls Patti, Catherine James, Gail Zappa, Miss Mercy, Michele Overman, and Cynthia Plaster Caster, close galpals all, have their own chapters in my last bawdy tome. And my childhood friend Iva Turner recalls her “plating” experience in Cynthia’s chapter as well. Iva and I have written a couple of screenplays we hope to see on the big screen one day. My girlfriends are my true soulmates, and I love them beyond reason.
I still think Sandra Bernhard is one sexy dame. She did me the favor of reading the rerelease of I’m With the Band along with Patti and me at a bookstore in New York and did a damn fine job. Steve Jones is many years sober and I have been on his hysterically astute radio show a couple times. My very first boyfriend, Bobby Martini, has a passel of kids and a young wife. He called just a few days ago to play me “our song”—“There’s a Place for Us” by PJ Proby. He still adores me. All these years later. Amazing. I just wrote the liner notes for Hunt and (former flame) Tony Sales’s groovy soul brother album Hired Guns. Tony still adores me too. I must have done something right. I’m still tight with Victor Hayden, the artistic high school chum who altered my brain cells for eternity. He lives in Seattle and at least twice a year we comb the thrift shops and antique malls, claiming treasures from another time. I became close pals with Cree McCree, the journalist who interviewed me for US magazine (I was LUST, remember?). She lives in New Orleans and I have enjoyed Jazz Fest with her more than once. I am still in touch with the most delightful “Legs” Larry Smith from the Bonzo Dog Band and check in with him and his twin daughters (and sweet wife) whenever I am in the UK. I am an ordained minister now and married my adored goddaughter Polly Parsons to her hubby Charlie Terrell; I’m also godmother to their daughter Harper Lee, quite a special bloodline and a special honor. When I went through breast cancer four years ago, Don Johnson sent me to a Shinto priest for ten awesome sessions to clear out the gunk of the past (in this life and others). He really came through for me and I love him for it. Melanie recently attended a birthday bash I threw for Michael, and brought us both insanely divine necklaces. Her gift tag to me read, “For Miss P. Just because …”
I reread a bit of this book to recall some of the folks who played their parts so perfectly, and, sad to say, I have lost a few of them. First and foremost, my sent-from-heaven mother, Margaret Ruth Miller, who refused to stop puffing, passed away eight years ago from lung cancer. I miss my understanding mama and my big handsome daddy, O.C., and am full of gratitude to be carrying around their exceptional Southern genes. Chuck Wein, the fellow I once called “the Wizard” and a VIP in my life, introduced me to Michael during the filming of Arizonaslim and to Light just when Nick and I needed her. He passed away just a few days ago, and I have been reminiscing about the many ways he expanded my soul. The Easy Street writer I worked for, Susan Berman, was shot to death in her home in the hills, and it is still a mystery I see replayed on TV on the Tru TV channel late at night. My dear Danny Sugerman lost his long battle with cancer, and Iron Butterfly’s naughty lead singer, Daryl De Loach, had the same fate. I went to visit him at his mom’s house in San Diego and held his hand for a little while near the end.
I have been teaching writing classes for almost five years and I’m loving it so much. The quality of the writers that walk through my door every week is truly inspiring. I write three monthly music columns and am working on a book called My Back Pages: A Fan’s Obsession with the Byrds. I have probably the world’s most-stuffed Byrds scrapbook, which will be part of the experience along with my gushing teen diary entries. “January 30, 1966: Chris Hillman. He’s the One. He stared and stared at me, yes he did! We talked to them ALL. (even Chris this time) And Mike Clarke gave me a LOOK. Oh yes he did! They played for an hour, boy, that’s really groovy! (as Gene would say). I was backstage for awhile. I know Chris doesn’t have a girl. Yay!”
For four years I had a wonderful boyfriend, Mike Stinson, the best country singer-songwriter on the planet. We separated not too long ago and once again I am in the throes of heartsickness. Even though it hurts now (Ouch!), I have been through enough heartache to know that this too shall pass (more wise words from Jesus). I am really working hard at staying in the moment and not lollygagging around in the tempting past. It takes constant vigilant monitoring, dolls. But I am grateful for our loving, delicious time together, and I’m certain we will be friends one day. Probably even before this book hits the stands.
Fascinating things continue to happen on a daily basis. My dear friend and James Dean cohort Kip Brown was working at Rockaway Records in Silverlake recently, and someone brought in loads of boxes he bought from none other than my old manager, Herb Cohen. (He was Zappa’s manager way back when, and you probably recall him from Cynthia’s court case. He wanted her dicks, remember?) Kip called me, very excited, insisting that I come down to the shop to take a gander at the goods.
Trapped for decades in decaying cardboard boxes were pages and pages of notes, contracts, photos, lyrics, poems, and articles by and about Frank Zappa’s Girls Together Outrageously, circa 1968-69. I was agog and gasping, instantly transported back to my teenage glory days. Miss Lucy, Mercy, Sandra, Miss Christine’s giant green eyes peered at me with eternal sassy wonder. Unfortunately the new owner wanted $20,000 for the lot, but good old Kip made copies for me before the girlish relics were put on display in the tall glass cases. One of the forgotten innocent ditties was all about women’s liberation, entitled “Brassieres.” (Bailies, by the way, was the GTO’s term for our titties.)
What, may I ask you
Is the purpose of a bra?
Why does each girl wear one?
Is it a special law?
I appeal to every one of you
Get rid of those silly things
And listen to the joys
The brassiereless generation brings.
No straps! (No straps, no straps)
No more tissue paper! (Tissue pa-per!)
No more tugging! (And pulling on your bailies)
In junior high you stuffed them
with scarves, Kleenex, and toilet paper
And dreamed of the bosom
That you would grow later (-Ah! Bouncy!)
In high school when they didn’t come
You resorted to Frederick’s specials
Foam rubber, plastic inserts, and blow-up types
Parading around in tight sweaters
Hoping the boys wouldn’t call you falsie!
(Wasn’t it traumatic!)
Forget those days, start anew
Listen, listen as I appeal to you.
No straps! (No straps, no straps)
No more tissue paper! (Tissue pa-per!)
No more tugging! (And pulling on your bailies)
Who needs the hassle?
Who needs the worry?
Throw that brassiere in the trash
And hurry, hurry, hurry!
INDEX
Aaron, Dr., 73, 74
acting:
Michael’s career in, 25–26, 99–100, 106, 156, 181, 201, 278, 290
Pamela’s abandonment of, 128–131
Pamela’s career in, 25–26, 32, 37–39, 46, 54, 55, 60,
61, 66–69, 91, 105–106, 127–131, 141, 249
Adler, Lou, 164
“Adolf” (therapist), 246–248, 262
Aggie (astrologer-psychologist), 182–184, 211
AIDS, 190, 291
Al-Anon, 110, 111, 112
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), 39, 107, 109–110, 127, 143, 278, 290
Alexander (Melanie Griffith’s son), 209, 252
Allen, Woody, 36, 263
Amal (holy woman), 39, 42
Animotion, 153
Anton, Susan, 67
Applegate, Christina, 266, 292
Arden, Don, 65
Arden, Sharon, 65, 69
Ariana (psychic), 213–214, 253–255, 260–261, 266–268, 271–272, 274, 289, 290, 291
Arizonaslim, 25–26, 221
Arnold, Roseanne, 291
Arnold, Tom, 290
ASAP, 265–266, 268, 271–279, 284–285
Asher, Jane, 139
Aspen, Colo., 168–169, 212, 251–253
Assante, Armand, 68
astrology, 96, 182
Atlantic Records, 48, 229
Aura (Linda’s daughter), 247–248
baby showers, 91, 264–265
backstage scene, changes in, 34, 158–159
Bakker, Jim, 219
Barrymore, Drew, 265, 276, 292
Barrymore, Jaid, 265–266, 268, 276
Barskin, 54
Bateman, Justine, 23
Bators, Stiv, 44
Bauer, Steven (Rocky), 141, 142, 144, 145, 209
Beatles, 162, 173, 197–198
Beatty, Warren, 141, 164, 191
Begley, Ed, Jr., 109, 144, 166, 206
Begley, Ingrid, 128, 144
Berger, Mel, 161, 257
Berlin, 263–264
Berman, Susan, 153–154
Bernhard, Sandra, 165, 219–222, 223–224, 249, 259
Bernstein, Ron, 145, 152–153
Bert, Aunt, 119, 120–121, 123, 183
Beverly Hills Health Club, 98
Big Rig Jackknife, 293
Bitzer, Robert, 111–112, 113, 131
Blacknell, Stephen, 291
Blondie, 106, 126
Blue Velvet, 187
Blush (Des Barres), 24, 249–251, 257–258
Body Double, 144–145
Bolas, Niko, 293
Bonham, Jason, 229
Bonham, John (Bonzo), 23, 64, 101
Book Soup, 189
Boston Phoenix, 194
Bowie, David, 57, 260
Brando, Marlon, 164, 293–294
Pamela’s correspondence with, 139–140, 164
Bridges, Jeff, 30–31, 294
Brown, James, 152
Buell, Bebe, 44, 46
Burke, Clem, 126
butter queen, 199
Byrds, 13, 172
Camelletti, Rob, 165
cancer, 117–118, 139
of Myer, 172–175
car accidents, 70, 126, 130
Carina (Nick’s girlfriend), 289–290
Carlos, Bun E., 175
car wax commercial, 68
Case, Peter, 174
Catherine (friend), 63–65, 291
century cactus barbecue, 265–268
Chapman, Mike, 106
Chequered Past, 126–127, 145, 148, 157, 172
Cher, 242, 243
child psychiatrists, 169, 171, 227
Childs, Carole, 20, 192, 211
Chinn, Nicky, 106
Church of Religious Science, 111–112, 131
Clapton, Eric, 102–103
Clark, Dick, 181
cocaine, 57, 251
Michael’s use of, 26, 36, 42, 63, 69, 71, 101
Pamela’s use of, 26
codependence, 18, 110, 112, 150, 278
Cohen, Herbie, 195
Cole, Karak, 50
Cole, Richard, 49–50
Collins, Jackie, 198, 199, 220
Coming Home, 130
commercials, 68, 75–76, 105
Connors, Chuck, 204
Conrad, Charles, 67
Conway, Kevin, 67, 68
Cook, Paul, 172
Cooper, Alice, 44, 255
Cort, Bud, 30, 135–136, 144
Costas, Bob, 229
Costello, Elvis, 44
Cottonwood Camp, 226
country music, 259
Crawford, Broderick, 68
Creem, 33
Criss, Peter, 27
Crosby, David, 20, 130, 269
Cruise, Tom, 109
Cynderella, 32, 292
Cynthia (graduate student), 134
“Dancing in the Dark” (Springsteen), 161
Danson, Ted, 136
D’Arbanville, Patti, 20, 141–145, 150–152, 154–156, 161–165, 205–207, 211, 215, 266, 291
at Aspen wedding, 251–253
at Blue Velvet, 187
book title supplied by, 162
at Dylan’s party, 197
Johnson and, 141, 142, 155
Pamela’s therapy and, 228
at Prince concert, 161–162
Davies, Ray, 260
Davis, Geena, 128
Davis, Stephen, 138
Dean, James, 223, 226, 267, 279
death, communication after, 122, 123–124
Debbie (airline stewardess), 32, 45, 47
Decker, Emil, 115–116
Dellaquilla, Denise (Dee Dee), 85–86, 94, 105, 126, 291
DeLoach, Darryl, 249
Demme, Jonathan, 209
De Mornay, Rebecca, 109
De Niro, Robert, 221
De Palma, Brian, 144
Des Barres, Irene Gladys (mother-in-law), 34–35, 101–102
as grandmother, 101–102, 103
husband’s death and, 125–126
son’s relationship with, 35, 53, 87, 125–126, 159
Des Barres, Michael (husband), 23–76, 85–113, 123, 166–169, 177–188, 211–212, 266, 290–291
at AA meetings, 107, 109–110, 127, 143, 278, 290
acting career of, 25–26, 99–100, 106, 156, 181, 201, 278, 290
affairs of, 110–111, 151–152, 169, 177–181, 184–185, 187, 188, 201
ASAP and, 272–274, 276–278
in Aspen, 251–252
blackouts of, 88–89
charm of, 24, 30, 86
in Chequered Past, 126–127, 148, 157, 172
dark side of, 30, 36
in Detective, 47–54, 57, 65–66, 69, 99, 100, 157
disappearing items and, 69
drinking of, 36, 39, 41, 42, 51, 52, 62, 69–71, 88
driving of, 285, 287
drug use of, 26–27, 36, 39, 41, 42, 47, 51, 56–57, 63, 69–71, 88, 101, 106
escapism of, 36, 40, 62, 102–103, 180
family background of, 27, 34–36, 53, 159
fan mail of, 53
as father, 93–97, 156, 169, 262–263, 285–287, 290
father’s death and, 125–126
first marriage of, 28, 31, 34, 63
green card of, 49, 64
health problems of, 27, 133
at Helena’s, 166
honeymoons of, 65, 90, 180
insomnia of, 51, 53
jealousy of, 30–31
Johnson and, 142–143, 156, 162, 215, 252
journal of, 126
as “kept prop star,” 99
as nondriver, 56, 110, 226, 285
other women and, 53, 63, 69, 88, 106, 110–111, 146, 147–148
Pamela denounced by, 89
Pamela pursued by, 27–28
Pamela’s apology from, 290
Pamela’s apology to, 228, 245
Pamela’s confrontation with, 177–181
Pamela’s correspondence with, 42, 156
Pamela’s doting on and catering to, 18, 29, 33, 40, 50–51, 53, 56, 74, 104, 110, 133, 143, 156, 157, 159, 284
Pamela’s love for, 17, 18, 28, 29–30, 42, 43, 51, 56, 61, 70, 110, 131, 146, 156, 163, 179, 181, 287
Pamela’s marital pr
oblems with, 18, 23, 47, 69–71, 88, 97, 106–107, 131–133, 146–148, 156, 177–185, 187–188
Pamela’s marriage to, 18, 27, 63–65
Pamela’s meeting of, 25–27
Pamela’s pregnancy and, 74–76, 87, 88, 90–94
Pamela’s separation from, 23–25, 110, 181–182, 185, 201–203, 231
Pamela’s writing and, 24, 141, 193, 200, 231
pants ripped off of, 32, 33
penicillin allergy of, 133
physical appearance of, 26, 42, 86, 99
in Power Station, 157–159, 162–163
refrigerator destroyed by, 88
revelry and all-nighters of, 50, 51–52, 56–57, 62–63, 64, 69–70, 88–89, 106, 107
in Silverhead, 25, 27–28
songwriting of, 106, 153
spending habits of, 27, 28, 40
temper of, 30–31, 61, 112, 182
Thrill and, 283
Des Barres, Nicholas Dean (son), 20, 92–107, 119–121, 133–136, 156–159, 162, 211–215, 225–228, 284–287, 289–290
ASAP and, 265–266, 268, 271–279, 284–285
baby book of, 95–96
belligerence and tantrums of, 104, 134, 150–151, 246, 261, 267–268, 275–276
birth of, 92–94
cars of, 105, 106, 145
century cactus barbecue and, 265–268
charm of, 103, 104
education of, 104, 106, 134, 136, 146, 150–151, 155, 170–171, 186, 204, 227, 261–263, 289
in England, 100–103
Holly Knight and, 112
intelligence of, 25, 104, 134, 136, 146, 248, 277
Japanese interests of, 20, 170, 171, 225–226
as mini-monster, 104
mother’s book and, 193, 200, 231
mother’s doting on and catering to, 102–105, 135, 143, 150, 286
music interests of, 104–105, 112, 134–135
Myer and, 97, 99, 174, 175
naming of, 93
parents’ marital problems and, 182, 201–203
perfectionism of, 134, 146, 151
psychics and astrologers and, 96, 182, 185, 213, 253–255
psychological problems of, 134–135, 146, 169–171, 226, 245–248
school bully and, 150
therapy of, 134, 169, 171, 203–204, 227, 245–248, 262
third birthday of, 105
Time Tunnel and, 269–270
Victor and, 241
weaning of, 97–98
Take Another Little Piece of My Heart: A Groupie Grows Up Page 35