withdrawal of, 134, 150
Des Barres, Pamela Miller:
acting career abandoned by, 128–131
acting career of, 25–26, 32, 37–39, 46, 54, 55, 60, 61, 66–69, 91, 105–106, 127–131, 141, 249
at Al-Anon meetings, 110
anxiety of, 36–39, 41–42, 43
arrest of, 280–281
auditions and screen tests of, 67, 75, 105
baby names selected by, 90, 93
birth classes attended by, 87, 90–91, 96
birth control methods used by, 73, 193
birth of, 73–74
as bourgeois, 89–90
bruised self-esteem of, 44, 46, 55, 60
childhood of, 182–184
as a “cocreator,” 18
as codependent, 18, 110, 112, 150, 278
in commercials, 68, 75–76, 105
dancing of, 16, 66, 165, 187
dating of, 222–223, 275
dermabrasion of, 177
determination of, 13, 14, 17, 94
diaries of, see diaries and journals
drugs given up by, 26
drug use of, 14–15, 26–27, 36
escapism of, 36, 40
exercise regimens of, 97–98, 99, 135–136, 147, 208–210, 229
as exercise teacher, 135–136
family background of, 89, 114–119, 182–183
fantasies of, 153, 162, 204–205, 221
fasting of, 26
first orgasm of, 264
as groupie, 13–15, 139–141, 153, 190, 199
in GTO’s, 26, 32, 189, 190
health regimens of, 26, 45–46
horny platonic friendship of, 147
house hunting of, 76, 85, 136, 145
housekeeping of, 29, 56, 131, 143
insecurity of, 17, 37–61, 106
interviews of, 216–218, 229–230
junk collecting of, 20, 114
as late bloomer, 24, 294
left-wing views of, 116
love search of, 13, 24–25, 190–191, 207, 216
marriage of, 18, 27, 63–65; see also Des Barres, Michael
as Mary Kay consultant, 127–128
menial labor jobs of, 113–114
in movies, 25–26, 67–68
in musical, 91
as nursing mother, 95, 97–98
open marriage attempted by, 187–188
as optimistic overlooker, 36, 41, 114
in photographs, 26, 68, 86, 90, 92, 93, 105, 161, 164, 216, 218, 226, 263, 264
physical appearance of, 44, 61, 90, 97, 98, 132, 141, 147, 177, 190, 191
poster-selling job of, 106
pregnancy and childbirth of, 73–76, 85–94, 141
pregnancy test of, 73–74
promotion-for-sex offered to, 60–61
in rock video, 16
as school mom, 136
sexuality of, 15, 27, 28, 30, 73, 132, 164, 165, 187, 190–191, 199–200, 204–208, 216, 219–224, 249, 264, 281–282, 288
Silent Treatment of, 69–70, 88
smother-mothering of, 104
songwriting of, 51, 61, 62
spiritual searches of, 39, 62, 111–112, 211
strength of, 178, 182, 223
stretch marks of, 90
telephone sales job of, 114
therapeutic breakthrough of, 227–228
therapy of, 18, 182–185, 204–205, 227–228, 245, 248
thirty-eighth birthday of, 163–164
TV appearances of, 20, 32, 37–39, 54, 66, 110, 168, 193, 195, 198–200, 229, 263, 283
VD-type infection of, 151
as victim, 133–134, 185
what-I-want-in-life list of, 186
as writer, 19–20, 137–141, 143, 145–146, 152–153, 161–162, 257–260; see also Blush; I’m with the Band
writing course of, 137–138
as Zappa nanny, 17, 75
Des Barres, Philip (father-in-law), 35–36, 53, 101–102, 159
death of, 125–126
Des Barres, Wendy (Michael’s first wife), 28, 29, 31, 34
Desert Rose Band, 241–242
Details, 259, 260
Detective, 47–54, 57, 99, 100, 157
as dinosaur, 69
fans of, 52, 53
in Hawaii, 65–66
Dey, Susan, 46
diaries and journals, 47, 57, 68, 103–104, 113, 147–148, 156, 202–205, 255, 258, 260, 261
Bernhard in, 221, 222
dreams in, 204–205
first, 138–139
Japan in, 226
Jones in, 127
Michael’s reading of, 30–31, 148
New York, 36–37, 43, 45, 57, 221, 222
separation in, 202, 203
Springsteen in, 153
thirty-year review in, 61–62
Thrill in, 281–288
Vancouver trip in, 247–248
DiMucci, Dion, 194–196, 263
DiMucci, Sue Butterfield, 195, 263
Dio, Ronnie James, 172
Disneyland, 40, 227–228
Dogfight, 91
Donovan, 16
Doors, 14–15, 161
Douglas, Michael, 212
Douglas, Robert Jr., 164
Dreamland Records and Tapes, 106, 112
drug(s), 57
Griffith’s use of, 251
Michael’s use of, 26–27, 36, 39, 41, 42, 47, 51, 56–57, 63, 69–71, 88, 101, 106
music as, 153
Pamela’s use of, 14–15, 26–27, 36
Philip Des Barres’s use of, 35–36, 102
Steve Jones’s use of, 148
Duke, Patty, 169
Duran Duran, 157
Dylan, Bob, 14, 19–20, 161, 188, 191–192
birthday party of, 196–198
Easton, Sheena, 166, 266
Easy Street (Berman), 153
Edmonds, Ben, 39–40
Edna, Aunt, 117–118, 121, 123
Elvira, 292
Emergency!, 54
England, Pamela’s visits to, 34–36, 100–103, 263
English Acid, 269–271
Entwistle, John, 174
Fabian, 259
Face Pack, 144
Faegli, Robert, 218
Fairchild, Morgan, 38, 46
Father Knows Best, 184
Faust, Diana, 191
feminism, 14, 56
Finagle, Mrs., 85–86, 136
Fishkin, Paul, 107
Flanders, Annie, 259–260
Flying Burrito Brothers, 172
Fonda, Jane, 130, 147, 208–210
Ford, Harrison, 216
Former, Melanie G., 164
Forum, 159, 162
Fox, Emmett, 111
“Foxy Lady” (Hendrix), 16
Francis, Genie, 54
Frank (Nick’s roommate), 284
Funicello, Annette, 283
Gardner, Eric, 292
Garr, Teri, 259
Garrett, Leif, 23
General Hospital, 54
Geraldine (Nick’s friend), 100
Gere, Richard, 204, 220
Germany, 263–264
girlfriends, 143
Glickman, Zack, 195–196, 263
Goldberg, Danny, 48–50, 55, 95, 125, 137, 163
Chequered Past and, 126
Goldblum, Jeff, 109, 128
Goldblum, Patti, 128
Gold Mountain, 163
Good Housekeeping, 90
Gorman, Greg, 260
Grabowski, Marilyn, 218
Graham, Billy, 171
Granite, Freda, 32, 54
Grant, Peter, 14, 47, 49–52, 65, 101
Greek Theatre, 19–20
Green, Al, 266, 283
Griffith, Melanie, 96, 141–144, 216, 220–222
baby shower for, 264–265
at Fonda spa, 208–210
Johnson and, 45, 47, 85, 141, 143, 251–252, 291
wedding of, 251–253
groupie(s), 198
of Dion, 195
new
breed of, 34, 44
Pamela as, 13–15, 139–141, 153, 190, 199
Silverhead and, 27–28
GTO’s (Girls Together Outrageously), 26, 32, 189, 190, 292, 293
Hackman, Gene, 45
Hahn, Jessica, 219
Haight-Ashbury, 173
Hall, Fawn, 266
Hamburg, 264
Hammer of the Gods (Davis), 138
handicapped, theater group for, 130–131
Hardin, Joe, 47
Harrison, George, 103, 197–198
Harrison, Nigel, 126
Harvellee (school friend), 138–139
Hawaii, 65–66
Hayden, Tom, 210
Hayden, Victor, 231–232, 241, 243, 245, 280, 288, 292
Vancouver trip and, 247, 248
Hays, Quay, 283
Heard, John, 38, 46
Heather (Vermont teenager), 151
Hefner, Hugh, 219
Helena’s, 164–167, 179–180, 187, 206
Poetry Nights at, 166–167
Henderson, Jimmy, 99–100
Henderson, Kathy, 100
Hendrix, Jimi, 16, 264, 269
Henner, Marilu, 136
heroin, 52, 148
Hickey, William, 37, 47
Hilda (healer-teacher), 39, 48, 55
Hillman, Chris, 113, 172–173, 204, 205
in Desert Rose Band, 241–242
HIM, Pamela’s affair with, 206–208, 216, 223, 249
Hinckley, John, 158
hippies, 54
Hollywood Church of Religious Science, 111–112, 131
Hollywood Revival and Trash Dance, 32–33
Holmes, Ernest, 111
Hopper, Dennis, 187–188
Hughes, Howard, 91
Huston, Anjelica, 20
Hutchence, Michael, 260
Hyde, John, 48
Hyser, Joyce, 191, 192, 211
Idol, Billy, 25
I’m with the Band (Des Barres), 125, 178, 186, 189–200, 222
book party for, 23–24
Dion in, 195, 196
European editions of, 263–264
film possibilities for, 186, 191, 192, 292
Johnson in, 168, 193, 231
origin of title for, 162
photos for, 161, 189, 190, 196, 242
publicity for, 189–191, 193–200, 229–231
rejection slips for, 145, 152
reunions and, 241–245, 247–248
reviews of, 193–194
sale of, 161
Streisand and, 211, 212
Ingalls, Joyce, 67
Intveld, James, 279
Iva (grade-school friend), 122, 291
Jackson, Jesse, 193
Jaffe, Taliesin (T.J.), 171, 204, 268, 285
Jagger, Mick, 16, 23, 39–40, 43, 130, 193, 231, 280
Janet (AA girl), 148
Janine (psychiatrist), 169
Japan, 225–226, 275
Jesse (Don Johnson’s son), 141, 149, 155, 168, 252
Jesus, 217
Jesus-oriented school, 170–171
Jimi Hendrix Experience, 16, 264
Johns, Andy, 54, 55
Johnson, Don, 141–145, 149, 151, 154–156, 200, 212, 227
D’Arbanville and, 141, 142, 155, 205
fame of, 163, 168
Griffith and, 45, 47, 85, 141, 143, 251–252, 291
“huge cock” of, 168, 193, 199, 231
Live Aid and, 162
in Miami Vice, 154–155, 162, 230
Pamela’s book party and, 23–24
Streisand and, 212, 215, 230, 251
Johnston, Bruce, 175
Jones, John Paul, 44, 50, 64, 229
Jones, Steve, 136, 144, 145, 152, 166
in Chequered Past, 126–127, 172
heroin use of, 148
Jones, Tommy Lee, 290
Josh (Big Rig Jackknife member), 293
journals, see diaries and journals
Judy (birth class teacher), 87, 92, 93, 96
Kadianiotes, Helena, 164, 165, 293
Kathy (fitness instructor), 209, 210, 229, 249
Kaye, Tony, 48, 64, 86, 98
Dee Dee and, 86, 126, 291
Nick and, 94, 105
Kennedy, Jim, 91
“Kindred Spirits” (Des Barres), 260
King, Larry, 193
King, Stephen, 192, 293
King, Tabitha, 293
KISS, 27, 275
“Kiss” (Prince), 165
Knight, Holly, 112, 153
Knight and Des Barres, 112
Krishnamurti, 62, 111, 113, 255
Landis, Jim, 161, 257
landladies, landlords, 54–55, 85–86, 113–114, 136
Larry King Live, 193
Las Vegas, Nev., 59–60
Last Waltz, The, 87–88
Late Show, The, 199
Lauper, Cyndi, 259
Laurance (child psychiatrist), 171, 227
L.A. Weekly, 248
Leary, Timothy, 292
Led Zeppelin, 14, 43, 44, 47–51, 101, 140, 207, 229
book about, 137, 138
Leek, Kim, 97, 136
Lennon, John, 17, 139
Leonard (Mercy’s husband), 292
Lewis, Juliet, 293
“Like a Rolling Stone” (Dylan), 14
Linda (Beatlefriend), 247–248
Linden Center, 289, 290
lithium, 169
Live Aid, 157, 162
London, 125–126
Pamela’s visits to, 34–36, 100–103
Los Angeles Times, 174, 175
Lucy, Miss, 113, 291
lust, Pamela’s views on, 216–218
Lynn (friend), 267, 269–271, 275
Lynne, Jeff, 197, 198
lyrics, cost of rights to, 161
McCartney, Paul, 23, 139, 141, 189, 193
McCree, Cree, 216–218
McDowell, Malcolm, 144
McGuinn, Roger, 130
machismo:
of DJs, 190
of rock stars, 18
MacLaine, Shirley, 191
McLaren, Malcolm, 127
Madonna, 25, 165
Madonna Inn, 90
Mael, Ron, 105
Mael, Russell, 105
Manzarek, Ray, 33
Maria (psychic), 185–186
Martino, Bob, 222, 232, 242–244
Mary Kay makeup parties, 127–128
Mary Magdalene, 217–218
Meara, Jane, 161, 257
Melody Maker, 26, 34
Mercy (GTO member), 32, 266, 267
Mexico, 40–42, 115
Miami Vice, 154–155, 162, 168, 230
Mickey Mouse, 40, 113
Miller, Margaret Ruth Hayes (mother), 32, 34, 114–125, 149
daughter’s birth and, 73–74
daughter’s book and, 193, 199
daughter’s boyfriends and, 26, 27
daughter’s therapy and, 182–184
daughter’s wedding and, 63, 64
grandson and, 94, 274
husband’s postdeath communications with, 122, 123–124
lover of, 183–184
Mary Kay makeup party of, 127–128
as mother, 97, 116, 117–118
Silent Treatment of, 69–70
as wife, 18, 54, 56, 63, 99, 115, 116, 118–119
Miller, Oren Coy (father), 32, 40–41, 53–54, 70, 114–125, 189
affairs of, 183
background of, 115
child care and, 91
correspondence of, 123, 124
daughter’s therapy and, 182–184
daughter’s wedding and, 63, 64
death of, 119–124, 274
emotions of, 116
grandson and, 74–75, 86, 94, 119
health problems of, 53, 63, 74–75, 99, 117–21
leisure suits of, 54, 56
Michael’s relationship with, 41
personality change of, 118–119
Miller, Pamela, see Des
Barres, Pamela Miller
Mintz, Elliot, 144, 163
Mirabai, 55
Mitchell, Joni, 259
Monarch, Michael, 48, 49, 52
Moon, Keith, 17, 23, 25, 75, 187, 189, 193, 217, 231
Morrison, Jim, 14–15, 23, 33, 189, 190
Morrison, Pam, 15
Morrison, Toni, 293–294
Muktananda, Swami, 111
Myer, Claire, 173, 175
Myer, Michele (Auntie Shelly), 40, 44, 49, 94, 196, 205, 206
as baby-sitter, 97, 99
cancer and death of, 172–175, 177
Pamela’s wedding and, 63
Nader, Michael, 165
Nelson, Judd, 167
Nelson, Willie, 163, 191
Nestea commercial, 75–76
Newman, Paul, 45
New York, N.Y.:
Michael in, 156–157
Pamela in, 25–27, 37–39, 42–47, 57, 216–218, 220–224, 291
Nice to Mice, 192
Nicholson, Jack, 20, 164, 168
Niles, Prescott, 134
Nina (Steve Jones’s girlfriend), 136
No One Here Gets Out Alive (Sugerman), 189
North, Oliver, 266
Nouri, Michael, 38, 46–47
“November 16, 1966” (Des Barres), 166–167
“Obsession” (Des Barres and Knight), 153, 156
Olmos, Edward James, 91
O’Neal, Tatum, 144, 265
“One That Got Away, The” (Hillman), 242
onion dip, 29
open marriage, 187–188
Oprah, 20, 198–199
Orbison, Roy, 197
Osbourne, Ozzy, 144, 166, 283
Osbourne, Sharon, 65, 69
Ostin, Mo, 230–231
Page, Jimmy, 23, 48–52
bimbo comment of, 229–230
Pamela’s relationship with, 14, 43–44, 48, 190, 193, 229–230
Palmer, Robert, 157, 163
Palm Springs, 65, 180
Paradise Alley, 67–68
Paramahansa Yogananda, 26, 111, 146
Parsons, Gram, 16, 20, 23, 64, 175, 241, 293
Parsons, Polly, 241–242
parties, 25, 30, 60, 211, 215, 231
birthday, 105, 141–143, 163–164, 196–198
book, 23–24
makeup, 127–128
pajama, 259
wedding, 63–65, 292
Parton, Dolly, 57
PCP, 14
penis(es):
Cynthia Plaster-Caster and, 198
of Johnson, 168, 193, 199, 231
as “Mick,” 242, 244
Penn, Sean, 164–165
People, 190
Peterson, Cassandra, 292
Petty, Tom, 197, 198
Phillips, Michelle, 16
Pickett, Bobby, 48, 64
Pink, 23–24
Plant, Carmen, 200
Plant, Robert, 14, 29, 43, 49, 159, 200, 229, 284
Plaster-Caster, Cynthia, 198-199
Playboy, 218-219, 263
poetry, 166-167
Pop, Iggy, 33, 57, 260
Power Station, 157-159, 162-163
Premier, 293
Presley, Elvis, 14, 26, 59-60, 189
Prince, 162, 186, 192, 205, 231
Take Another Little Piece of My Heart: A Groupie Grows Up Page 36