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Take Another Little Piece of My Heart: A Groupie Grows Up

Page 35

by Des Barres, Pamela


  I’m still enmeshed in my spiritual work with my teacher, Light (she changed her name from Ariana years back), and often make the trek to her trailer in the Arizona desert, basking in her precious, selfless, hardcore knowledge. She reminds me that the universe is unbiased and neutral, and we imprint it with our desires. Our every thought, deed, and word becomes our reality. The good Lord said “It is done unto you as you believe,” and I have discovered that to be true. I try not to judge or condemn, and even when things get difficult, I know I have the choice to mope and moan or take the high road.

  My Lady D’Arbanville has been living in New York with her three youngest kids for a long time, but we are still ascloseasthis. She has come up with three of my four book titles, including the most recent, Let’s Spend the Night Together. She always gives me the truth, even when it hurts like a bitch. In fact, my adored dolls Patti, Catherine James, Gail Zappa, Miss Mercy, Michele Overman, and Cynthia Plaster Caster, close galpals all, have their own chapters in my last bawdy tome. And my childhood friend Iva Turner recalls her “plating” experience in Cynthia’s chapter as well. Iva and I have written a couple of screenplays we hope to see on the big screen one day. My girlfriends are my true soulmates, and I love them beyond reason.

  I still think Sandra Bernhard is one sexy dame. She did me the favor of reading the rerelease of I’m With the Band along with Patti and me at a bookstore in New York and did a damn fine job. Steve Jones is many years sober and I have been on his hysterically astute radio show a couple times. My very first boyfriend, Bobby Martini, has a passel of kids and a young wife. He called just a few days ago to play me “our song”—“There’s a Place for Us” by PJ Proby. He still adores me. All these years later. Amazing. I just wrote the liner notes for Hunt and (former flame) Tony Sales’s groovy soul brother album Hired Guns. Tony still adores me too. I must have done something right. I’m still tight with Victor Hayden, the artistic high school chum who altered my brain cells for eternity. He lives in Seattle and at least twice a year we comb the thrift shops and antique malls, claiming treasures from another time. I became close pals with Cree McCree, the journalist who interviewed me for US magazine (I was LUST, remember?). She lives in New Orleans and I have enjoyed Jazz Fest with her more than once. I am still in touch with the most delightful “Legs” Larry Smith from the Bonzo Dog Band and check in with him and his twin daughters (and sweet wife) whenever I am in the UK. I am an ordained minister now and married my adored goddaughter Polly Parsons to her hubby Charlie Terrell; I’m also godmother to their daughter Harper Lee, quite a special bloodline and a special honor. When I went through breast cancer four years ago, Don Johnson sent me to a Shinto priest for ten awesome sessions to clear out the gunk of the past (in this life and others). He really came through for me and I love him for it. Melanie recently attended a birthday bash I threw for Michael, and brought us both insanely divine necklaces. Her gift tag to me read, “For Miss P. Just because …”

  I reread a bit of this book to recall some of the folks who played their parts so perfectly, and, sad to say, I have lost a few of them. First and foremost, my sent-from-heaven mother, Margaret Ruth Miller, who refused to stop puffing, passed away eight years ago from lung cancer. I miss my understanding mama and my big handsome daddy, O.C., and am full of gratitude to be carrying around their exceptional Southern genes. Chuck Wein, the fellow I once called “the Wizard” and a VIP in my life, introduced me to Michael during the filming of Arizonaslim and to Light just when Nick and I needed her. He passed away just a few days ago, and I have been reminiscing about the many ways he expanded my soul. The Easy Street writer I worked for, Susan Berman, was shot to death in her home in the hills, and it is still a mystery I see replayed on TV on the Tru TV channel late at night. My dear Danny Sugerman lost his long battle with cancer, and Iron Butterfly’s naughty lead singer, Daryl De Loach, had the same fate. I went to visit him at his mom’s house in San Diego and held his hand for a little while near the end.

  I have been teaching writing classes for almost five years and I’m loving it so much. The quality of the writers that walk through my door every week is truly inspiring. I write three monthly music columns and am working on a book called My Back Pages: A Fan’s Obsession with the Byrds. I have probably the world’s most-stuffed Byrds scrapbook, which will be part of the experience along with my gushing teen diary entries. “January 30, 1966: Chris Hillman. He’s the One. He stared and stared at me, yes he did! We talked to them ALL. (even Chris this time) And Mike Clarke gave me a LOOK. Oh yes he did! They played for an hour, boy, that’s really groovy! (as Gene would say). I was backstage for awhile. I know Chris doesn’t have a girl. Yay!”

  For four years I had a wonderful boyfriend, Mike Stinson, the best country singer-songwriter on the planet. We separated not too long ago and once again I am in the throes of heartsickness. Even though it hurts now (Ouch!), I have been through enough heartache to know that this too shall pass (more wise words from Jesus). I am really working hard at staying in the moment and not lollygagging around in the tempting past. It takes constant vigilant monitoring, dolls. But I am grateful for our loving, delicious time together, and I’m certain we will be friends one day. Probably even before this book hits the stands.

  Fascinating things continue to happen on a daily basis. My dear friend and James Dean cohort Kip Brown was working at Rockaway Records in Silverlake recently, and someone brought in loads of boxes he bought from none other than my old manager, Herb Cohen. (He was Zappa’s manager way back when, and you probably recall him from Cynthia’s court case. He wanted her dicks, remember?) Kip called me, very excited, insisting that I come down to the shop to take a gander at the goods.

  Trapped for decades in decaying cardboard boxes were pages and pages of notes, contracts, photos, lyrics, poems, and articles by and about Frank Zappa’s Girls Together Outrageously, circa 1968-69. I was agog and gasping, instantly transported back to my teenage glory days. Miss Lucy, Mercy, Sandra, Miss Christine’s giant green eyes peered at me with eternal sassy wonder. Unfortunately the new owner wanted $20,000 for the lot, but good old Kip made copies for me before the girlish relics were put on display in the tall glass cases. One of the forgotten innocent ditties was all about women’s liberation, entitled “Brassieres.” (Bailies, by the way, was the GTO’s term for our titties.)

  What, may I ask you

  Is the purpose of a bra?

  Why does each girl wear one?

  Is it a special law?

  I appeal to every one of you

  Get rid of those silly things

  And listen to the joys

  The brassiereless generation brings.

  No straps! (No straps, no straps)

  No more tissue paper! (Tissue pa-per!)

  No more tugging! (And pulling on your bailies)

  In junior high you stuffed them

  with scarves, Kleenex, and toilet paper

  And dreamed of the bosom

  That you would grow later (-Ah! Bouncy!)

  In high school when they didn’t come

  You resorted to Frederick’s specials

  Foam rubber, plastic inserts, and blow-up types

  Parading around in tight sweaters

  Hoping the boys wouldn’t call you falsie!

  (Wasn’t it traumatic!)

  Forget those days, start anew

  Listen, listen as I appeal to you.

  No straps! (No straps, no straps)

  No more tissue paper! (Tissue pa-per!)

  No more tugging! (And pulling on your bailies)

  Who needs the hassle?

  Who needs the worry?

  Throw that brassiere in the trash

  And hurry, hurry, hurry!

  INDEX

  Aaron, Dr., 73, 74

  acting:

  Michael’s career in, 25–26, 99–100, 106, 156, 181, 201, 278, 290

  Pamela’s abandonment of, 128–131

  Pamela’s career in, 25–26, 32, 37–39, 46, 54, 55, 60,
61, 66–69, 91, 105–106, 127–131, 141, 249

  Adler, Lou, 164

  “Adolf” (therapist), 246–248, 262

  Aggie (astrologer-psychologist), 182–184, 211

  AIDS, 190, 291

  Al-Anon, 110, 111, 112

  Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), 39, 107, 109–110, 127, 143, 278, 290

  Alexander (Melanie Griffith’s son), 209, 252

  Allen, Woody, 36, 263

  Amal (holy woman), 39, 42

  Animotion, 153

  Anton, Susan, 67

  Applegate, Christina, 266, 292

  Arden, Don, 65

  Arden, Sharon, 65, 69

  Ariana (psychic), 213–214, 253–255, 260–261, 266–268, 271–272, 274, 289, 290, 291

  Arizonaslim, 25–26, 221

  Arnold, Roseanne, 291

  Arnold, Tom, 290

  ASAP, 265–266, 268, 271–279, 284–285

  Asher, Jane, 139

  Aspen, Colo., 168–169, 212, 251–253

  Assante, Armand, 68

  astrology, 96, 182

  Atlantic Records, 48, 229

  Aura (Linda’s daughter), 247–248

  baby showers, 91, 264–265

  backstage scene, changes in, 34, 158–159

  Bakker, Jim, 219

  Barrymore, Drew, 265, 276, 292

  Barrymore, Jaid, 265–266, 268, 276

  Barskin, 54

  Bateman, Justine, 23

  Bators, Stiv, 44

  Bauer, Steven (Rocky), 141, 142, 144, 145, 209

  Beatles, 162, 173, 197–198

  Beatty, Warren, 141, 164, 191

  Begley, Ed, Jr., 109, 144, 166, 206

  Begley, Ingrid, 128, 144

  Berger, Mel, 161, 257

  Berlin, 263–264

  Berman, Susan, 153–154

  Bernhard, Sandra, 165, 219–222, 223–224, 249, 259

  Bernstein, Ron, 145, 152–153

  Bert, Aunt, 119, 120–121, 123, 183

  Beverly Hills Health Club, 98

  Big Rig Jackknife, 293

  Bitzer, Robert, 111–112, 113, 131

  Blacknell, Stephen, 291

  Blondie, 106, 126

  Blue Velvet, 187

  Blush (Des Barres), 24, 249–251, 257–258

  Body Double, 144–145

  Bolas, Niko, 293

  Bonham, Jason, 229

  Bonham, John (Bonzo), 23, 64, 101

  Book Soup, 189

  Boston Phoenix, 194

  Bowie, David, 57, 260

  Brando, Marlon, 164, 293–294

  Pamela’s correspondence with, 139–140, 164

  Bridges, Jeff, 30–31, 294

  Brown, James, 152

  Buell, Bebe, 44, 46

  Burke, Clem, 126

  butter queen, 199

  Byrds, 13, 172

  Camelletti, Rob, 165

  cancer, 117–118, 139

  of Myer, 172–175

  car accidents, 70, 126, 130

  Carina (Nick’s girlfriend), 289–290

  Carlos, Bun E., 175

  car wax commercial, 68

  Case, Peter, 174

  Catherine (friend), 63–65, 291

  century cactus barbecue, 265–268

  Chapman, Mike, 106

  Chequered Past, 126–127, 145, 148, 157, 172

  Cher, 242, 243

  child psychiatrists, 169, 171, 227

  Childs, Carole, 20, 192, 211

  Chinn, Nicky, 106

  Church of Religious Science, 111–112, 131

  Clapton, Eric, 102–103

  Clark, Dick, 181

  cocaine, 57, 251

  Michael’s use of, 26, 36, 42, 63, 69, 71, 101

  Pamela’s use of, 26

  codependence, 18, 110, 112, 150, 278

  Cohen, Herbie, 195

  Cole, Karak, 50

  Cole, Richard, 49–50

  Collins, Jackie, 198, 199, 220

  Coming Home, 130

  commercials, 68, 75–76, 105

  Connors, Chuck, 204

  Conrad, Charles, 67

  Conway, Kevin, 67, 68

  Cook, Paul, 172

  Cooper, Alice, 44, 255

  Cort, Bud, 30, 135–136, 144

  Costas, Bob, 229

  Costello, Elvis, 44

  Cottonwood Camp, 226

  country music, 259

  Crawford, Broderick, 68

  Creem, 33

  Criss, Peter, 27

  Crosby, David, 20, 130, 269

  Cruise, Tom, 109

  Cynderella, 32, 292

  Cynthia (graduate student), 134

  “Dancing in the Dark” (Springsteen), 161

  Danson, Ted, 136

  D’Arbanville, Patti, 20, 141–145, 150–152, 154–156, 161–165, 205–207, 211, 215, 266, 291

  at Aspen wedding, 251–253

  at Blue Velvet, 187

  book title supplied by, 162

  at Dylan’s party, 197

  Johnson and, 141, 142, 155

  Pamela’s therapy and, 228

  at Prince concert, 161–162

  Davies, Ray, 260

  Davis, Geena, 128

  Davis, Stephen, 138

  Dean, James, 223, 226, 267, 279

  death, communication after, 122, 123–124

  Debbie (airline stewardess), 32, 45, 47

  Decker, Emil, 115–116

  Dellaquilla, Denise (Dee Dee), 85–86, 94, 105, 126, 291

  DeLoach, Darryl, 249

  Demme, Jonathan, 209

  De Mornay, Rebecca, 109

  De Niro, Robert, 221

  De Palma, Brian, 144

  Des Barres, Irene Gladys (mother-in-law), 34–35, 101–102

  as grandmother, 101–102, 103

  husband’s death and, 125–126

  son’s relationship with, 35, 53, 87, 125–126, 159

  Des Barres, Michael (husband), 23–76, 85–113, 123, 166–169, 177–188, 211–212, 266, 290–291

  at AA meetings, 107, 109–110, 127, 143, 278, 290

  acting career of, 25–26, 99–100, 106, 156, 181, 201, 278, 290

  affairs of, 110–111, 151–152, 169, 177–181, 184–185, 187, 188, 201

  ASAP and, 272–274, 276–278

  in Aspen, 251–252

  blackouts of, 88–89

  charm of, 24, 30, 86

  in Chequered Past, 126–127, 148, 157, 172

  dark side of, 30, 36

  in Detective, 47–54, 57, 65–66, 69, 99, 100, 157

  disappearing items and, 69

  drinking of, 36, 39, 41, 42, 51, 52, 62, 69–71, 88

  driving of, 285, 287

  drug use of, 26–27, 36, 39, 41, 42, 47, 51, 56–57, 63, 69–71, 88, 101, 106

  escapism of, 36, 40, 62, 102–103, 180

  family background of, 27, 34–36, 53, 159

  fan mail of, 53

  as father, 93–97, 156, 169, 262–263, 285–287, 290

  father’s death and, 125–126

  first marriage of, 28, 31, 34, 63

  green card of, 49, 64

  health problems of, 27, 133

  at Helena’s, 166

  honeymoons of, 65, 90, 180

  insomnia of, 51, 53

  jealousy of, 30–31

  Johnson and, 142–143, 156, 162, 215, 252

  journal of, 126

  as “kept prop star,” 99

  as nondriver, 56, 110, 226, 285

  other women and, 53, 63, 69, 88, 106, 110–111, 146, 147–148

  Pamela denounced by, 89

  Pamela pursued by, 27–28

  Pamela’s apology from, 290

  Pamela’s apology to, 228, 245

  Pamela’s confrontation with, 177–181

  Pamela’s correspondence with, 42, 156

  Pamela’s doting on and catering to, 18, 29, 33, 40, 50–51, 53, 56, 74, 104, 110, 133, 143, 156, 157, 159, 284

  Pamela’s love for, 17, 18, 28, 29–30, 42, 43, 51, 56, 61, 70, 110, 131, 146, 156, 163, 179, 181, 287

  Pamela’s marital pr
oblems with, 18, 23, 47, 69–71, 88, 97, 106–107, 131–133, 146–148, 156, 177–185, 187–188

  Pamela’s marriage to, 18, 27, 63–65

  Pamela’s meeting of, 25–27

  Pamela’s pregnancy and, 74–76, 87, 88, 90–94

  Pamela’s separation from, 23–25, 110, 181–182, 185, 201–203, 231

  Pamela’s writing and, 24, 141, 193, 200, 231

  pants ripped off of, 32, 33

  penicillin allergy of, 133

  physical appearance of, 26, 42, 86, 99

  in Power Station, 157–159, 162–163

  refrigerator destroyed by, 88

  revelry and all-nighters of, 50, 51–52, 56–57, 62–63, 64, 69–70, 88–89, 106, 107

  in Silverhead, 25, 27–28

  songwriting of, 106, 153

  spending habits of, 27, 28, 40

  temper of, 30–31, 61, 112, 182

  Thrill and, 283

  Des Barres, Nicholas Dean (son), 20, 92–107, 119–121, 133–136, 156–159, 162, 211–215, 225–228, 284–287, 289–290

  ASAP and, 265–266, 268, 271–279, 284–285

  baby book of, 95–96

  belligerence and tantrums of, 104, 134, 150–151, 246, 261, 267–268, 275–276

  birth of, 92–94

  cars of, 105, 106, 145

  century cactus barbecue and, 265–268

  charm of, 103, 104

  education of, 104, 106, 134, 136, 146, 150–151, 155, 170–171, 186, 204, 227, 261–263, 289

  in England, 100–103

  Holly Knight and, 112

  intelligence of, 25, 104, 134, 136, 146, 248, 277

  Japanese interests of, 20, 170, 171, 225–226

  as mini-monster, 104

  mother’s book and, 193, 200, 231

  mother’s doting on and catering to, 102–105, 135, 143, 150, 286

  music interests of, 104–105, 112, 134–135

  Myer and, 97, 99, 174, 175

  naming of, 93

  parents’ marital problems and, 182, 201–203

  perfectionism of, 134, 146, 151

  psychics and astrologers and, 96, 182, 185, 213, 253–255

  psychological problems of, 134–135, 146, 169–171, 226, 245–248

  school bully and, 150

  therapy of, 134, 169, 171, 203–204, 227, 245–248, 262

  third birthday of, 105

  Time Tunnel and, 269–270

  Victor and, 241

  weaning of, 97–98

 

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