The Stone Rainbow

by Liane Shaw

  “Cody?”

  He turns back at the sound of my voice. “What?”

  “Thank you. You’re doing the right thing.”

  “Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Every time I get involved with you, someone makes me do the right thing. It sucks.” He scowls at Ryan and walks out of the room, leaving Ryan and me alone.

  “Do you think he’ll actually do it? Rat out someone he knows?” I ask.

  “I think he will. I think this whole thing really shocked him. Cody acts like a jerk, but he likes to save people more than he likes to hurt them. Physically anyway.”

  “Do you believe that he actually doesn’t understand how much words can hurt someone?” There have been times I would have preferred having someone just hit me and get it over with instead of continually going at me with cruel little comments that get inside and try to break me apart.

  “It’s possible. He’s always lived in his own little Cody box, where he sits and looks at the world in his own little Cody way. At least until now. He actually seems really shook up by this. And it takes a lot to shake him.”

  “This is a lot. It’s been two weeks and Benjamin is still lying in the hospital.”

  “How’s he doing?”

  “His mom said that the big issue is the swelling on his spine. They have to wait for it to go down more so they can see if there’s any permanent damage. He’s got feeling and movement in his feet and legs, so that’s good. He’ll likely be in a wheelchair until his fractured hip heals when he does get out.”

  “We can be chair buddies. They finally renovated the guys’ can on the main floor at school, so he won’t even have to use the staff room.”

  “You graduate in like, two months!”

  “Yup. The school board is known for its great speed. Anyway, I guess it’ll help the next guy who comes along. And for now, it’ll help Benjamin.”

  “I don’t know if he’s even coming back to school this year. The head injury has given him some memory problems. Short-term, they called it. He forgets things you just said to him and you have to repeat it all.” I’ve had to give him the details of his “accident” at least three times now. I finally wrote it all down and emailed it to him so he could read it. Then I found out he’s having trouble reading too. He can’t remember what he just read when he finishes a page, which is scary because this is a guy who usually reads three books a week and can quote from each one whenever he feels like it.

  What if his head never comes back to normal? If he can’t read or remember anything, how will he finish school and go to college and get a job?

  When I find out who did this…

  “Jack?”

  “What?”

  “I asked you if he’s going to be able to rehab here.”

  “Sorry. I didn’t hear you. I was…thinking. What do you mean, rehab here?”

  “Well, the hospital here has physio and occupational therapists, but only a couple of each, so there’s always a waiting list. The equipment here is pretty minimal too. After my surgeries, I’ve always stayed in the city for a few weeks for the intense part of my rehab. They have a good center there and since it’s Benjamin’s hometown, I thought he might end up there for a while…and I can see from your face that you hadn’t thought of that. Sorry, I should have kept my mouth shut.”

  “No, no. That’s okay. You’re right. I never thought he’d have to go away. But obviously he needs the best, so if that’s what it takes…I can just talk to him the way you do with Clare.” If he wants to, that is.

  “The way you do with Clare, you mean. I’m pretty sure you talk to her more than I do.” He laughs.

  “Well, she’s really helpful and probably the nicest person I know next to Benjamin.”

  “Thanks.”

  “You come third. Or maybe fourth.” He smacks me with his pillow, making me laugh.

  “Benjamin is nicer than me, and he seems like a really strong guy. He’ll get through this. And if Cody does what he said he would do, the assholes who did this will get caught and have to pay somehow.”

  “If they can prove it was deliberate.”

  “I don’t know how they can prove it, but obviously they did something wrong. Benjamin didn’t throw himself down the embankment and try to kill himself on purpose.” I look at him and he closes his eyes, scrunching up his face. “Shit, Jack. I didn’t mean…”

  “Hey, we talked about this, right? No more Super Ryan. We can’t pretend it didn’t happen, but it doesn’t mean you have to watch every word you say to me. I don’t want you to. I don’t even notice until you panic and think you’ve said something that will upset me or trigger me or something. It’s time for you to stop. Okay? I’m good. I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Okay. I know. I get it. Seriously.”

  “Good because I seriously don’t need a babysitter anymore.” He grins and nods. “Anyway, I have to get over to the hospital. Thanks for helping with Cody. I guess now we just have to wait and see what happens next.”

  “You know that’s true, right? That you can’t go off and try to confront the guys when you learn their names.” His face turns serious.

  “I really, really want to go and kick their stupid faces in.”

  “But you really, really can’t. Let the cops do what they do. You just focus on helping Benjamin. He’s going to need all the friends he can get to see him through this.”

  “He’ll have all of his old friends if he goes back home.” I can hear the sulky kid tone in my own voice.

  “Doesn’t mean he won’t need you too. Clare has lots of friends where she lives. She still seems to like me for some reason.”

  “She does. I’ve always wondered about that.”

  “It’s my stunning good looks and endless charm.” He smiles, showing lots of teeth like a baboon trying to impress gawkers at the zoo.

  “Oh, well, that explains it then. I think I’ll go before I actually puke.” I smile back and leave his room, ducking as he throws his pillow at me on my way out.

  eighteen

  I walk down the hall at school, feeling as if all the color has been leeched out of the world around me and I’m Dorothy stuck in black and white looking for a rainbow to pass over. The only person I know who could make one of those appear out of thin air is lying in a hospital bed instead of walking down the hall toward me with a big smile on his face.

  The last time I felt this alone was my first day back at school after Ryan’s big rescue. I remember walking down this same hallway with everyone staring, whispering, even pointing…just in case someone didn’t know who all the staring and whispering was about. The rumors started down on the ground, getting hotter and hotter as they rose up and swirled around me like Dorothy’s tornado, except that this one wasn’t going to get me a pair of ruby slippers or a yellow brick road to follow.

  I knew I should have stayed home instead of listening to my mother and forcing myself back to school so that the torture could start all over again. I could have done my courses online. I figured that if I could survive until graduation, I could get the hell out of this town and never come back.

  “Jack?”

  Startled, I realize that someone is talking directly to me. I shake my head a little to get out of the memory and bring myself forward about ten months.

  Ten months. I can’t believe it’s been less than a year.

  “Yeah?” It’s Sarah Edey and her mini-gang. I glance around. No one else is paying any attention. No stares or whispers or fingers pointing that I can see.

  “I—we were just wondering how Benjamin is doing. We heard a rumor that he’s moving away or something. Is he okay?” She looks concerned and even touches me gently on the shoulder for a second.

  “He’s getting better. Slowly. He isn’t moving away though. He’s just going to a rehab center for a while. He’ll be back.” I say it forcefully so that ever
yone will believe it, including me. The truth is that I’m afraid he won’t be back. Benjamin’s parents might decide that Thompson Mills isn’t worth living in, and I’ll never see him in person again. And I’d have to try to have an online relationship with someone who’d be surrounded by people he’s known his whole life. I’ll be even farther away next year because I got my acceptance to Bainesville U, which was exciting for about thirty seconds, until I realized that it probably puts me a county away from Benjamin next year, whether he moves or not. I’m pretty sure he would have applied to much better schools than BU. I never even asked him about it, and now I’m afraid to. Ryan got in too, but for him it’s a win-win. He gets away from Thompson Mills and he gets to be with Clare. Lucky.

  “Well, can you tell him that we’re thinking about him? And that we think what happened was just horrible. Everyone does, you know.”

  “I’ll tell him.”

  “He’s a really nice guy,” she says. “You two make a cute couple.” She takes off before I can say anything.

  I stand there, watching her go. She didn’t sound like she was making fun of me. It sounded like she meant it. This is too weird.

  I turn back to my locker and grab my books for class. As I close the door and lock it, I suddenly feel someone standing right behind me.

  “You’re going to wish you hadn’t said anything.”

  I stand facing my locker for a second. I know that voice.

  Shawn Johanssen. The owner of a white truck. The name that Cody heard but didn’t want to tell me. The one that everyone at school is spreading rumors…no, spreading the truth about.

  One of the assholes who pinned me against a dumpster last year.

  The one who hurt Benjamin.

  I turn around slowly. “Get out of my face, asshole,” I say to him, keeping my voice low and controlled.

  “What are you going to do about it? I don’t see anyone here.” I look past him. He’s right. Class has already started, and the hall is deserted.

  “So, what’s the plan? You’re going to kick my ass right here in the hall? Add that to the list of things the cops can get you on?”

  He grabs my shirt and shoves me back against my locker. “The cops aren’t getting me on shit. I was just driving my truck like I do every day. It’s not my fault some fag can’t keep his balance.” His breath stinks of cigarette smoke. Good, he deserves to die young.

  “Right. That’s what happened. He just randomly fell off his bike at the exact moment you swerved toward him.” He tightens his grip and shoves me so hard I feel like I’m going to end up looking at my locker from the inside.

  “You can’t prove anything. You need to keep your stupid mouth shut.”

  “And you need to keep your stupid hands off me.” I twist my body as hard as I can, somehow managing to get out of his grasp and over to the other side of the hall before he can grab me again.

  “You stay away from me and everyone I know. Touch me again, and I’ll call the cops so fast it will make your empty head spin.” I walk off down the hall, forcing myself not to break into a run. I don’t turn to see if he’s following me. I just keep moving forward until I make it to class and slip in the door, hoping the teacher doesn’t decide to make an example of me for being late.

  ®®®

  “I’ll tell Cody. He can gather some guys together and get him off your case. It worked last year; it’ll work again,” Ryan says after school when I tell him about Shawn.

  “No. It’s okay. There’s been enough of that crap already. I think he’ll back off for now. I hope so anyway.”

  “You should be calling the cops now. Not waiting until he does it again.”

  “It’s his word against mine. I just have to hope he isn’t quite brainless enough to make things worse for himself by actually killing me.”

  “Shawn is pretty devoid of brain matter.”

  “But smart enough to know he shouldn’t have hurt Benjamin like he did. He and his buddy, Adrian. Both of them need their heads kicked in.”

  “I don’t think the courts use that particular punishment these days. At least the cops took Cody seriously enough to start investigating.”

  “They haven’t charged them yet.”

  “I guess it takes a while to get evidence. It’s not like on TV where it’s all tied up in an hour, including commercial breaks. Besides, this is Thompson Mills. Our cops aren’t used to anything bigger than shoplifting.”

  “I guess that’s true.” I hesitate for a second and then sigh. “Benjamin is leaving tomorrow.”

  “I know. He told me when I visited him yesterday.” Ryan sounds sympathetic.

  “Oh, I didn’t know you went there.”

  “Yeah, he actually called me. He wanted to know about the rehab center, so I filled him in. Told him who the hot physiotherapists are.”

  “He might have slightly different tastes than yours in that department.”

  Ryan laughs. “Yeah, well, I did think about that. I wouldn’t know who he would consider hot anyway. I mean, the guy likes you, so there’s no accounting for taste.”

  “Ha-ha. Very funny. At least it would be if I actually knew whether he likes me or not.”

  “He obviously does. You’re there all the time.”

  “That’s not what I mean. He’s kind of a captive audience.”

  “This feels like a Clare conversation. I’m no good at this. All I know is he talked about you, and it sounds like he thinks you’re…special or whatever.”

  “Special or whatever. That’s reassuring.”

  “He’s only going for six weeks. He’ll be back. That’s what he told me.”

  “He told me that too. I’m not so sure it’s true.”

  Ryan shrugs. “No point worrying about it now. I think maybe you should get over there and say good-bye to him though.”

  “I know. I’m heading there now.”

  I walk slowly to the hospital, trying to postpone the inevitable as long as I can. But that isn’t very long in this tiny town, so I’m there in a matter of minutes.

  Benjamin is propped up slightly, pillows stacked behind him. He smiles when I come in, and it squeezes my heart so much that it takes an effort to smile back.

  “Like my blanket? My mom bought it for me just in case the rehab center is as white and cold as this place.” He gestures down at his lap. He’s covered with brightly colored rainbows dancing across soft looking material that looks like it might finally make him feel warm.

  “You should have asked Ryan about that,” I say.

  “I forgot. There was a lot to ask about.”

  “Yeah, he told me he was filling you in on the hot physiotherapists.” I manage to keep my voice from sounding jealous.

  “Well, he tried. Not sure he knows who I would consider to be hot.”

  “You should meet his girlfriend. He definitely has good taste in women. Not so sure about men.”

  “He’s your friend. So he definitely has taste.” His grin makes my whole body go into self-combustion mode. I can feel my face flaring up. I stand up quickly and walk over to the other side of the room so he won’t notice.

  “Is there anything I can do to help you pack?” I ask, trying to sound cool and calm. There are so many things I want to say right now, and I just can’t make myself do it. He has enough to worry about without me adding to it.

  “No. My mom’s taking care of that at home. Did you find out anything new yet?”

  “About the accident? You mean since I told you who it was?” Confusion dampens the gold specs in his eyes. I told him about Shawn yesterday—only twenty-four hours ago.

  “I’m sorry. I forgot what you told me. Again.” He bites his lower lip. “They say it’s going to get better but it’s driving me nuts. It comes and goes all the time. I can remember stupid things like what I ate for breakfast, but then someone
tells me something important, and it just floats out of my brain.”

  “It’s okay. I don’t mind telling you again. Cody talked to the cops. Gave them the truck driver’s name and also the name of his passenger. Who probably said something to you, but we don’t know for sure. Shawn was driving, and Adrian was in the passenger seat.”

  When he confronted me at the dumpsters last year, Shawn had a different partner in stupidity named Matt. Adrian must be his new asshole-in-training.

  “Oh, yeah, I think I remember you telling me that now that you’re reminding me, but I still don’t remember any of it happening. Last thing that’s clear is laughing at you before I took off down the hill. You were being so slow and careful, like a little old man.”

  “Yeah, well, you were on some kind of daredevil mission, like a circus act or something. No feet, and I think even no hands at one point. And you were either yelling or singing.” Like I told you before. Over and over.

  He looks at me, eyes lighting up.

  “I remember that now! Or maybe you just told me enough times that I think I do. It’s all so murky, but I have this image in my mind of me singing. I even know what song.”

  “Let me guess, ‘Somewhere over the Rainbow’?”

  “No, smart ass, I love Judy, but it’s not my favorite, even though you might think it would be, seeing as I’m the local rainbow fanatic and all.”

  “It would make sense.” It’s one of my favorites. I think I already told him that though.

  “Well, I’ve always been partial to singing frogs, so I’m pretty sure I was belting out ‘Rainbow Connection.’ You know that one?”

  “Yeah. Big Muppet fan.” Kermit the Frog over Judy Garland? Seriously?

  “Well, I can’t sing any better than I draw, but out on the open road no one can hear me, so I usually share that one with the birds. I’m almost sure that’s what I was doing. And I’m almost sure that I actually remember doing it.”

  “That’s good!” I’m trying so hard to sound encouraging that I almost shout it.

  “It would be better if I could be completely sure, not almost. Hey, I know! The doctor said I should try different things to trigger memory retention. Which, ironically enough, I remember her saying. Associations, that kind of thing. One thing that’s supposed to work is music. So, maybe you should sing to me and it will help me remember.”