by Liane Shaw
“Hello, and welcome to the Thompson Mills Pride Parade!” Lucas shouts, ignoring the fact that we told him the mayor expressly asked us not to call it that. The one media reporter who decided to come and cover the event records the name for posterity. Everyone cheers and claps.
“You are all gorgeous!” The cheers get louder and a few people yell out, “So are you!” Lucas laughs and waits a few seconds for the noise to die down a bit before he speaks again. “Today we honor all those who have come before us and have taken a stand against intolerance, discrimination, and violence, and we encourage all of you who do so today and in the future. We are here, and we are proud. I am a proud gay man…who’s getting married!” He sings the last word and holds his ring out for the crowd to see. Everyone breaks into crazy applause. He waits a few seconds and starts to speak again. “There are still far too many places in the world where I couldn’t be standing here wearing an engagement ring, looking forward to being legally married. Days like this one are important, so that we can keep on spreading the message that love is love.” Jamal walks up and puts his arm around Lucas, giving him a kiss that looks like something out of a romantic movie. Everyone cheers, with a bunch of people taking up the chant “love is love.”
“Rainbows reign supreme and love wins!” Lucas yells over the noise as he and Jamal step back.
Caleb waits until the noise settles and moves up to the mic.
“My name is Caleb, and I am also a proud gay man. I live in a city called Bainesville.” A shout goes up from the Bainesville crowd and Caleb laughs. “I work there in a community-based program that provides support for LGBTQ+ folks. Many cities have such programs, and I just want to let everyone know that there is always someone there to help when the going gets rough. Don’t hesitate to reach out. Our information is on the Facebook page for this event. We can help get you connected, no matter where you live, so please, give us a call or drop us a line. Always remember, you aren’t alone. We’re a community and we will always be there to support you. Rainbows reign!”
People clap, flags fly, and posters wave back and forth as Caleb moves out of the way so that Ryan can take his place. I’m startled to see him there. He hates speaking in public even more than I do, and last time we talked about this, he said he wasn’t going to do it. I wonder what, or who, changed his mind?
“Hi! I’m Ryan Malloy. I am not a gay man, but I am a proud man with cerebral palsy and I hate giving speeches, but Jack is making me do this.”
Me? I didn’t make him do it! Everyone laughs, and his friends from rehab start cheering. Clare is standing behind his chair with her hands lightly on his shoulders. She looks over at me and smiles sweetly. Oh. Mystery solved.
Ryan waits a minute and then tries to talk again.
“I have spent most of my life being the only guy in my school, or in my whole town, who has to use a wheelchair to get around. It’s always been a challenge dealing with stairs, both the kind you have to get up and the kind that people shoot at you with their eyes. It’s never easy being the only one, and when you are alone, you have to find something to help you figure out who you are. My family has always been really supportive, so I’m lucky there. And I found the swim team, which gave me something that’s mine. But it’s always been hard to live in a place where no one really understands what it means to be me, and that is why it means a lot to have the gang here today from my days in post-surgery rehab.”
They all start hooting and hollering again, shouting “Disability Pride.” Ryan smiles, but his face is starting to get really red and is clashing with his orange hair. Clare leans over and whispers something to him, and I can see him answer her. She looks over at me and shakes her head slightly. I walk over and take the mic from him.
“Thanks, Ryan. And Caleb and Lucas. I guess it’s my turn now. My name is Jackson Pedersen. I am a proud gay man.” My heart is pounding so hard that I’m sure it can be picked up by the sound system, but the cheering and applause drowns it out. I wait a few seconds and start again. “I’ve lived in Thompson Mills most of my life, and I’ve been hiding myself so far back in the closet for so many years that I never thought I’d see the light. I’ve been afraid to be myself in a place where being different is something too many people make fun of or put you down for. Sometimes they even threaten to hurt you because somehow they see you as a threat.” I close my eyes for a second and take a deep breath. “I’ve been so afraid of my life that I wanted to end it last year until someone came along and changed my plans.” I look over at Ryan, and he gives me a small thumbs up.
Everyone is silent now, listening to me as if I have something important to say. It’s beyond surreal, standing here sharing my life with so many people that I feel like I’m back in one of my dream hallucinations from last night.
“I don’t want Thompson Mills to be a place where people have to be afraid. I don’t want it to be a place where someone is run off the road just because he isn’t afraid to be himself. We have to believe that we’re better than that. We have to remember that a rainbow is made up of all different colors that work together to make the most beautiful sight in the sky.” I look down at Benjamin and he gives me a tiny salute. Then I glance over at Lucas. “A friend once told me that the way to deal with fear is to bury it down so deep that someday you won’t be able to find it anymore. Today, with this Thompson Mills Pride Parade, I’m starting to dig that hole. It’s time to stop hating. We need to be kind to each other. That’s all. That’s everything. Rainbows reign and kindness rules!” The applause starts again, building until it sounds like hundreds of horses running wild and free across sun-baked fields. Flags are waving madly, and I can hear people shouting a mixture of every slogan we’ve used today.
I look over at Mr. Malloy and nod. He smiles at me, and ten seconds later music starts to swell out of the speakers beside me.
“This is all for you Benjamin,” I call out loudly. “But I’m so not doing the voice,” I add, looking down at him as he laughs and I start singing a song that was originally recorded by a frog. I’ve been practicing it for weeks just in case I found the courage to sing it for him some day.
I guess some day is here.
I make it through the song with lots of help from the crowd, many of whom decide to sing it à la Kermit, which makes for an absurd, messed-up cacophony—the sweetest choir I’ve ever heard. Benjamin is smiling from ear-to-ear, singing his heart out. I’m fairly certain his Kermit impression is the loudest and by far the most off key. It’s wonderful.
As the music fades and the clapping starts again, I walk down the steps to where he’s standing, still propped up by his rainbow cane. Ignoring everyone around us, I step under his protective bubble and put my hands on his shoulders, leaning in and giving him the best kiss I can find from somewhere inside of my imagination. He wraps one arm around me, kissing me back as everything around us disappears, and there’s no one in the world but me and Benjamin. I can only manage one thought.
This is so much better than practicing with my pillow!
I hold on for a second more. I can feel something digging into my chest and I remember that I still have a piece of Benjamin’s stone rainbow in my pocket. A red stone.
Red for life. My life.
I step back, feeling a little breathless. It takes a second for me to realize that we aren’t really alone and everyone around us just saw me kiss a boy.
And it takes one more second for me to realize that it doesn’t matter. I have nothing to hide. Not anymore.
I don’t know what tomorrow is going to be like, and whether or not it will be all that different from yesterday around here. Today has been amazing, but I think it will be a while before anyone is going to be painting the old bridge in rainbow colors.
That’s okay. I can wait. Because there is one thing I do know.
I’m not staying out of sight anymore.
I’m just staying out.
&
nbsp; acknowledgments
I want to once again thank Margie Wolfe and all of the wonderful staff at Second Story Press for embracing my story and characters.
To Kathryn Cole, your unwavering support and patience is greatly appreciated.
Thank you to Kathryn White, editor extraordinaire, who found everything I missed and helped me give my characters some much needed balance. And I really enjoyed the fact that you took the time to comment on all of the words and phrases that you liked in the novel as well as those you felt needed some work. Everyone likes to read the compliments along with the constructive criticism!
To Jeffrey Canton who describes himself as a “storyteller, spoken word artist, bookseller, educator, writer, reader, and children’s literature fiend,” your insights on the manuscript were invaluable, particularly those regarding proper representation of the LGBTQ+ community.
Thanks to the Ontario Arts Council for continuing to support authors through funding initiatives such as the Writers’ Reserve Grant.
And finally, to all of the young people (some of whom are not so very young anymore!) who have shared their lives and stories with me over the years. I admire your strength and courage in navigating a world that still provides more challenges than it should. I pray that someday each and every one of you can feel safe and accepted by everyone you meet as you travel your individual pathways.
about the author
Liane Shaw was an educator for more than twenty-five years and has been a parent for over thirty. She has long been a passionate advocate for the rights of young people facing physical, emotional, and academic challenges. The Stone Rainbow was inspired by challenges faced by members of her own family. All six of her YA novels, along with her teaching memoir, present a diverse array of stories based on young people she has had the honor to know. Her previous YA books are: Caterpillars Can’t Swim; Don’t Tell, Don’t Tell, Don’t Tell; The Color of Silence; Fostergirls; and thinandbeautiful.com.
dedication
To darling Skyler Hin Zai,
My fierce, funny, and fantastically unique grandson,
My dream for you, sweet boy, is that you will always feel safe being exactly who you are and that you will have the chance to grow up in a world where kindness rules and every color has an equal place within the rainbow.
Love you forever,
Your “Emma”
copyright
Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication
Title: The stone rainbow / Liane Shaw.
Names: Shaw, Liane, 1959- author.
Identifiers: Canadiana (print) 2019007812X | Canadiana (ebook)
20190078138 | ISBN 9781772601084 (softcover) |
ISBN 9781772601091 (EPUB)
Classification: LCC PS8637.H3838 S76 2019 | DDC jC813/.6—dc23
Copyright © 2019 by Liane Shaw
Edited by Kathryn White
Cover photo © iStock.com/Carther
Design by Melissa Kaita
Printed and bound in Canada
Second Story Press gratefully acknowledges the support of the
Ontario Arts Council and the Canada Council for the Arts for our
publishing program. We acknowledge the financial support of the
Government of Canada through the Canada Book Fund.
Published by
Second Story Press
20 Maud Street, Suite 401
Toronto, ON M5V 2M5
www.secondstorypress.ca