by Kimi Flores
“Yes it is.” Her thoughts accidentally slipped out. “I mean Merry Christmas Caleb.”
Just as they were about to open presents, Caleb’s phone rang again, for the fifth time that morning. Covering the mouthpiece with his hand, he explained. “Sorry, work stuff.” If she wondered why he was getting so many work calls on Christmas morning, Abby didn’t say anything. With one finger held up in the air, he indicated that he would only be a minute, and then ducked into his office.
When the door clicked firmly behind him, he pushed the laptop aside and sat on top of his mahogany desk. “Mom, what’s up? Are you on your way?” Nervous about getting caught, he threw a quick glance at the door and lowered his voice. “Did you pick up the package yet?”
Grace calmed his nerves when she responded, “Yes, everything is fine. Merry Christmas son.” He relaxed his tense posture and let out a breath. “Thanks, Merry Christmas to you too, mom. See you all soon and drive safely.” With the call complete and the knowledge that he had achieved his secret mission, he headed back out to the living room.
Upon entering the room, he found Madison sitting on Abby’s knee, lightly shaking a gift. With a curious look on her face, she tried guessing what was inside. The tree just beside them was a beautiful vision decorated in red, brown, and silver adorned with little twinkling white lights. Abby glanced at him, “Everything okay?”
Enjoying the view, he answered. “It couldn’t be better.”
Excitedly, Madison opened all of her goodies first, including a charm bracelet from Abby. His little girl was so thrilled once she learned that the ballet shoe charm was from Leah and her new special friends at the dance studio. Then Abby explained that the pumpkin charm was from her and her daddy since she was their little pumpkin. Caleb sat on the arm of the couch and leaned down to squeeze the woman who continued to find a new way to fill the smallest spaces still left in his heart.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love my presents.” Madison’s cheeks couldn’t possibly go any further up on her face as she glowed with happiness.
“I think there is a present missing.” Caleb got up, stepped over all of the messy, scrunched up wrapping paper thrown on the floor and searched around the tree pretending like he didn’t know what was missing. “Hold on. I know it was here somewhere.” When he stood and scratched his head, he caught Abby staring at him. A fire burned in her eyes. The blue of her irises were intense, little bursts of light sparkled in the pools of heat, making them appear to be dancing mischievously. As they continued to be locked in each other’s gaze, finding it increasingly difficult to remember Madison was in the room, she leaned forward and was absently twining a piece of hair in her fingers. When she started chewing on her bottom lip, he was done for. She was killing him with that look. “Will you help me search upstairs really quick?” He needed her alone after that stare down and they had to get the present anyway, so why not.
“Sure.” A whispered breath came out of her mouth.
“Stay right here. I think I know where it is.” Holding a hand up to Madison, he pulled Abby up the stairs, down the hallway and into his very personal space. Hearing her take a deep breath as soon as they entered his room did him in. Closing the door behind them, he growled. “You can’t look at me like that in front of Madison.” His body hummed anticipating her touch. Drawing her body into his, he delicately moved her hair away from her shoulder. Caleb bent close enough to leave slow, feather light kisses down the side of her neck while backing her up. They stopped once the back of her knees met the end of his bed. Licking then nipping the other side of her neck, he sensed that she was completely open to whatever he wanted to do to her. It took all the self-control he had to lift his head and meet her forehead with his own. They both panted while staring into each other’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I got a little carried away.”
“It’s okay, Caleb.” Abby continued to take quick breaths. “I did too.” Reaching deep into his eyes with her own, taking command of his soul she added. “I don’t mind at all.” Then the wicked smile he’d only recently become acquainted with appeared.
Needing something to refocus on, he brought up their current circumstance. “We better bring the last gift down to Madison or she’ll be here in a minute, catching sight of something none of us planned.”
Trying to hide his current physical state, Caleb spun around and stepped forward heading to his master bathroom. He needed to calm down before going back into his room.
“I’ll grab it. You stay there until you are ready.” She giggled. Well Damn.
Madison snuggled up on the couch with the last of her Christmas gifts. Her adorable expression was precious when Caleb handed the female kitten over, saying she was from both of them. Abby thought it was so thoughtful that Caleb consulted with her first before getting a tiny cat. He continued to talk about their future together and wouldn’t get a pet if she were allergic or didn’t like them. The grey and white fluff ball, now named Olivia, was curled contently in Madison’s arms.
Only two presents remained, and neither was the size of a ring box. Trying not to show her disappointment, Abby reached for the envelope and handed it over with a smile. “Merry Christmas Caleb.”
Two hockey tickets to his favorite teams’ next L.A. game fell out of the card as he lifted it up. “Are you serious? How did you get these? They sold out weeks ago.” He looked at the tickets in amazement, double-checking the details.
“I got them as soon as they went on sale.” Saying it like it should be obvious.
“Wait, we weren’t dating then.”
“I know.” Abby smirked. She’d waited for the right time to give him those tickets for months now.
“Thank you, I love them.” He gushed, giving her a quick kiss as he picked up his own envelope for her, “Merry Christmas Abby.” He explained as she opened it up, “Cruise ticket vouchers. I got them for you and your mom. I thought you might like to go with her next time.”
A wide smile crossed her face, and she threw her arms around his neck. “You are so thoughtful. This is very sweet of you, thank you.” Abby happily returned the kiss he’d just given to her when the front door opened.
Grace, Robert and her step-dad, Dave entered the room when she heard a voice behind them. “Abby Rose did you wish on the star for me at our spot on the beach yesterday?” Her mom poked her head around Grace.
“No way.” Abby shot a surprised look at Caleb before she ran to her mom just like she did when she was a little girl, and held her in a long embrace.
Abby looked around the room, then back at her mother. “No, but I sure did something right because I’ve got more than I could ever imagine for Christmas this year.”
The sense of family and new beginnings over the holidays instilled a need to move forward in Abby. She felt her life was moving in the right direction, and Caleb was right, she needed to let go of the past. After much thought on the idea, and several hours over the last two weeks in her counselor’s office, she called Peter to ask him to meet her.
The fancy purple velvet chair was soft under her touch and matched the extravagance of the rest of the café. Huge framed paintings decorated the walls, and crystal chandeliers hung from the ceiling. It was just like Peter to choose a place like this with its frou-frou coffee. Also, it looked like old habits die-hard; he was still late to everything.
Nervously she rolled the saltshaker around in her hand and eyed the clock. Someone was clearing his throat beside her, and she turned and looked up to see Peter. “Sorry I am late; I had trouble finding a place to park.” He explained. There was a brief pause before he went in for an awkward hug, changing his mind at the last minute and shaking her hand. The look of horror on her face must have deterred him from his original plan.
“Isn’t this place great? They serve fantastic coffee too.” He said while taking a seat. He was so pretentious. It was hard to hold back a grimace; somehow, she managed though. Today was about forgiveness for her benefit, not his. She had to let go of the
bitterness, and kept this in mind.
“Thank you for meeting with me today Peter.” A well-rehearsed speech sat in the forefront of her brain ready to go, but before she could continue, the waitress interrupted and took their order. Of course, Peter ordered a tall caramel mocha something or other. Abby already had her regular drip coffee with vanilla creamer sitting on the table.
“Of course, I’ve wanted to meet with you for a while. Do you mind if I go first?” Damn, now he had beaten her to the chase. What else could she say, except, “Sure.” However, she really wasn’t sure. She’d hoped to just tell him she forgave him and then walk away.
“I need to tell you my side of the story before anything else.” She sat in front of him doe eyed, waiting to hear what he had to say. “Abby, you were the first love of my life. I know we were young, but I felt it still. This is really hard for me to tell you, but you need to know the truth and how sorry I am.” Taking a deep breath, he continued. “When you told me you were pregnant, I wasn’t completely shocked, and I knew it was mine. I also knew you’d only had sex twice, and both times were with me. Something you don’t know though is that I noticed a tear in the condom right after our second time, but I didn’t want to freak you out when it happened.”
Abby was horrified. All this time he knew. He knew and treated her the way he had. Her palm started twitching and she pulled it back, before she did something stupid, like slap him across the face in outrage. In her speedy retreat, coffee spilled all over the table. “Shoot, I’m sorry.”
As she started to blot the table dry with a napkin, Peter stopped her. “It’s fine Abby; here, let me.” Taking the napkins from her, he wiped the table dry. She was still shaky after hearing what he’d just laid out before her but she could see that he really was trying to make an effort here.
Once the surface was dry, he continued with his story. “I was so freaked out when you told me though. It was as if a nightmare had come true. I went home and talked to Tiffany about it. She reminded me of the plans I had and that I wasn’t of any use to anyone as a high school drop out with a kid. I wasn’t father material; I was only seventeen years old.”
“So was I.” Abby whispered. Moisture started to gather in the corners of her eyes as she realized that he too had been frightened about all the same things, but coped differently than her. It was difficult to think about his feelings though because her own kept coming to the surface.
“I know. I’m not making excuses at all; I just want you to know what my side is. If I had listened to my heart, I would have snatched you up and married you as soon as legally possible. We would have raised the baby together.” A wistful look came over his eyes as they became distant for a few seconds. In that moment, she realized that he too had been tortured by decisions they had both made when they were still only children. That one look told her that he also often thought ‘what if’.
His vision came back into focus when his coffee was delivered to their table, then he started to speak again. “Stupidly, I followed my sister’s advice and what my head told me I needed to do instead, and I pushed you away. I cried myself to sleep every night knowing what a bastard I was.” Abby clenched her teeth as she tampered down the fury bubbling to the surface. So, Tiffany had a part to play in this too. She had manipulated her brother’s thoughts while he was most vulnerable. That interfering cow.
‘Remember Abby, this is for you. Do not let Tiffany’s disgusting behavior get to you. She kept repeating this in her head like a mantra. You will never heal past hurts if you keep letting them upset you. Let go, you can do it.’ Deep calming breaths helped to center her again.
He paused, gulping and averting his gaze to the table top, no longer able to meet her gaze.” When I would catch you looking at me with other girls, I would lose it, The expression on your face killed me. Then you left school right after it all went down. I can only assume you went somewhere to have the baby and give it up for adoption because I can’t imagine you aborting your child, no matter who the father is.”
Abby blurted out. “You’re wrong. I was going to have an abortion, but I never made it to the clinic. I had a miscarriage the night before my appointment.” At this, his eyes went wide in surprise, but there was no anger there.
“Oh wow. I didn’t expect that to be your response. All these years I thought for sure that I had a child out there somewhere who didn’t know who I was.” His eyes glossed over before he grabbed her hand. “Abs, I’m so sorry for all the pain you’ve gone through over this. For the pain I’ve caused you. Can you ever forgive me?”
Time had helped her heart mend, and working with her counselor definitely helped. She finally felt like she could honestly and truly forgive him.
She wiped her eyes with the hand that Peter wasn’t holding and sniffled. “That’s why I asked you here today. Regardless of the reason that any of this happened, I want you to know that I forgive you.” Just saying that to him face-to-face lifted the biggest weight off her shoulders and the noose around her heart vanished completely. She felt so free in that moment. She’d carried around this heavy weight for so long that it was amazing how a handful of words could give her the freedom she longed for.
Just then, a young couple with a screaming baby entered the café, interrupting her heart-felt words. The mother was clearly stressed, and the father took the baby out of the woman’s hands doing his best to calm them both. Abby watched Peter as he looked on with a pained expression covering his face. She could tell that it truly had affected him that he didn’t do the same for her when she needed it. This reaffirmed that she really had made the right decision in coming there today.
“I forgive you.” She said again, bringing him back to their conversation. Oh man, did that feel good. His response made it even better. He stood up, pulled her to her feet, and hugged her for what seemed like an eternity.
“Thank you Abs. Thank you so much.” He held her for a few more moments, and she started shifting from foot to foot, wondering when he would release her.
“This is getting uncomfortable now, Peter.” He instantly pulled back with a bashful look on his face.
“I’m sorry. Can we sit a little longer and catch up? I really want to know what you’ve been doing with yourself.”
Abby looked around, uncertain. They were in a public place; they could catch up, couldn’t they? She didn’t know what Caleb would think of her playing catch up with an old flame. As far as he was concerned, she was here to forgive and be able to move on in her life, with him, her new boyfriend. Maybe she could get away with summing it all up quickly then be on her way? They both took their seats once again. “Well, as you know, I became a teacher. My mom re-married, and now I’m happily in love with my boyfriend.”
“Yeah, you look like you are happily in love.” A sad expression made a quick appearance on his face before vanishing just as fast. That was weird.
“Tell me about Janice. Where did you meet?” Taking a sip of what was left of her coffee, she really didn’t care what his answer was, and she only asked to be polite.
“I broke off the engagement a couple of weeks ago. Right after I saw you at the tree lot.”
“I’m so sorry, Peter. She looked like a really nice girl.”
“She is, but it was only fair for her. I would have always compared her to the one that I let slip through my fingers.” Abby didn’t want to make assumptions, but was Peter talking about her? “I saw that my sister was wearing her down already too. She deserves a better life than that.” He really looked somber now; her heart ached for him. How did things turn around so drastically? She went from hating him to feeling bad for him all in one afternoon.
“I wanted to apologize to you for the whole Tiffany thing too. I know it’s not my place to apologize for my sister, but I know she’s been really hard on you.” That captured her attention, and she was suddenly willing to chat a little longer.
“Yeah, what is up with her?” Abby leaned in a little, with her elbows on the table and her hea
d propped up in her hands, extremely curious for the answer. Peter sat back in his chair, seemingly shaking his head at the unpleasantness of what he was about to say.
“She’s got a pretty tough situation going on with her husband. Justin is a handful, as you know and she is on the attack for anyone she thinks she can manipulate. I’m sorry that her radar has been on you though. With me coming back to town and her having to move back in with my parents, it’s just been really difficult for her.” Abby understood Tiffany was going through a hard time, but what did that have to do with her?
“What did I ever do to her to be the one she is picking on?”
“This really isn’t my place to share.” He hesitated, eyes darting around the room before finally landing back on her. “Her husband is in jail for embezzling millions of dollars and all of her assets are frozen.” Abby tried but failed to contain a gasp.
“She is used to buying and getting whatever she wants but now she has nothing. She feels weak, so in order to feel that she has the upper hand, she manipulates things in her favor, even if it’s just to cause chaos and step away. She can look back and see that it was her creation. It’s been really bad since I broke things off with Janice and she doesn’t have her to push around.” Abby could see that Tiffany clearly had issues, but still believed it was no excuse to take it out on others around her. She was an adult and should know better. There was no sympathy to be felt here.
“She’s tried it with my parents too and they are ready to throw her and her little brat out. I’m afraid she will try to move in with me next. There is no way that is going to happen, Blaine will be the one stuck with them before long.” He seemed unsure about sharing anything further, but Peter kept going anyway. “There’s one more thing. Tiffany’s been drinking a lot lately and we’ve tried to talk her into getting some help but she hasn’t admitted to having a problem yet.” This all made so much sense. “Please don’t share that information with anyone though. This is me trusting you, just like old times.” Yeah they trusted each other with their deepest secrets growing up. They told each other everything. She could do that; she could keep this secret. There was one thing she needed to do with Tiffany but she’d have to figure out the right time to do it.