Donna cried, and the tears ran down her face. But as far as Stan was concerned, the tears now belonged to him. Donna's emotions from last year had flown out and run into the stream to be washed away in Stan's ritual of purification.
Emotionally drained and nearing exhaustion, a new frame of mind overcame Donna. She suddenly felt like the goddess who had once again manifested herself into the physical world. The human mortal who she once graced with the privilege of kissing her was now insane with his devotion. So consumed with jealousy, he fought others who might try to charm and win her favor.
"I love you!" declared Stan every few seconds when pausing between the kissing. "Don't you understand? I love you! And you love me too!" He kissed Donna on the lips to see if the feelings had returned. If Stan didn't know any better, there definitely was something. "Say it!" he demanded. "Say that you love me!"
"I love you Stan!" finally cried out Donna. "It's true; I love you!"
Stan celebrated with more kissing before pulling back and declaring, "In one week it will be the first day of spring. We will return and unify our love! Say you will be here with me! Say it!"
"I will join you Stan!" cried out Donna.
Stan continued to hold Donna against the tree and kissed her all the more. By then a freezing rain began to fall from the sky and through the bare trees. They remained there, kissing for a long time until the freezing rain stopped.
By the time Donna returned that Sunday morning at 4:00, she looked into the mirror. She was wet, dirty, exhausted and emotionally drained.
***
The Moon was full on the Tuesday that followed that very strange and fateful Saturday night in the woods. In the days that followed, Stan remained in his semi-psychotic state. He was relentless in his quest to finally make Donna all his. He already forced Donna to profess her love for him in the woods that Saturday night, but it wasn't enough. Stan needed more. Even if he were able to call Donna on the telephone, or go to her house to hear her say those words again; it wouldn't satisfy what Stan required as true love and loyalty to him. And the fact that Stan couldn't call Donna on the phone or go to her house didn't help matters. It fueled Stan’s desperation, jealousy and anger. How dare Donna's mother and father deem Stan unworthy to be in love with their daughter?
And all day Tuesday, Stan remained entranced while at work in a plan as to how he would finally seal the love and devotion between him and Donna.
"Hey, are you okay today???" griped the owner of the Texaco gas station to Stan who noticed that his employee just wasn't "with it".
"Yeah, I'm alright."
"Well then what is taking so long with these oil changes?" asked the owner.
"Sorry, I just didn't sleep very well last night." explained Stan.
"Well make sure you get some sleep before coming into work!" scolded the owner while walking away.
Stan had only a couple of more hours to go before quitting time. From there he could stop at Mr. Green's dime store on the ride home for what he needed. From what Stan remembered there were a couple of them behind the counter for sale when he used to work there. Surely they hadn't been sold.
And what was this item that Stan needed?
At quarter after five that Tuesday afternoon, Stan walked through the front door of Mr. Green's dime store. It was Mr. Green who worked behind the cash register.
"Well hi, Stan!" greeted Mr. Green. "Nice to see you. What brings you here? You're not looking for your old job back, are you?"
"No sir." answered Stan. "I just wanted to buy something that I hope you still have. I remember you used to have them."
"And what might that be?" asked Mr. Green.
By now, Stan was at the front counter and studied the merchandise wall behind Mr. Green. "There it is." he excitedly announced. "It looks like you still have one left, the double-edged dagger with sheath."
Mr. Green turned around and reached for the dagger off the merchandise wall which was stored in a soft leather sheath. He removed the blade--five inches in length--from the sheath and set both objects on the counter before Stan. "This? You want to buy this?"
Stan nervously picked up the dagger and gently tested the blade with his finger. As expected, it was razor sharp. "Oh, yes, I definitely want to buy this."
For some reason, Mr. Green did not have a good feeling about selling the double edged dagger to Stan. He remembered Stan, and recalled that he was a bit odd. What in the world did he have in mind to do with a razor sharp dagger? "You don't mind if I ask what you need that for, do you?"
Stan nervously swallowed before answering. "I just want to use it at work... you know, for cutting fan belts and stuff."
"Well you could use a regular pocket knife for something like that." suggested Mr. Green. "A dagger like this is often used for hunting and fishing."
"It's funny you mention that." began Stan. "I made some friends at the gas station who want to go on a hunting and fishing trip. I'd like to take this dagger with me."
"A hunting and fishing trip?" repeated Mr. Green. "Where will this be?"
"We haven't really decided yet." answered Stan.
At that point there wasn't anything that Mr. Green could do. Stan was a customer at the dime store to make a legitimate purchase for an item that was clearly for sale. Reluctantly, Mr. Green entered the sales price and tax into the cash register as Stan reached into his wallet for money. Mr. Green wished he could have denied Stan the purchase of that dagger, for he knew it would be used for a not-so-good purpose.
And what did he do with the razor-sharp, double-edged dagger? What could it have possibly been used for when it came to winning the true love and loyalty from Donna?
Late Saturday night of that week, which just so happened to be Spring Equinox, with the Moon in a waning gibbous stage--its light shining from the sky to provide plenty of illumination to the ground below; Stan drove through Donna's subdivision and parked four houses down to observe the usual protocol when picking Donna up.
As for Donna, she was in a most unusual frame of mind. You see, she really didn't want to be with Stan out of fear of what had happened the previous Saturday. But in Stan's moment of apparent psychosis, he declared that they would return the following week which would be the first day of spring. There, the two would continue whatever had been started on that dark night in the forest to "unify their love". Donna was forced to promise that she would return. And to avoid any disturbance at home which would surely alarm Mother and Father to what had been happening in recent months, Donna had no choice but to bundle up, climb out her bedroom window and wait for Stan on the side of the house.
But there was even more to Donna's peculiar frame of mind. Since the episode of the previous Saturday night, Donna had been unable to pick up the recent letter from her beloved Fredrick and read it. She felt an overwhelming amount of shame and guilt for doing so. She nearly wished to tear the letter into shreds and throw it into the wastepaper basket. And whenever attempting to write a letter in return--a letter that would reassure Fredrick that the rumor of her and Stan to be untrue--Donna could not bring herself to do it. As the days passed, she realized that the more she waited, the more it would have appeared that there truly was something going on between Donna and Stan.
She stood there on the side of the house and under a moonlit sky. Soon Stan appeared and waved her on.
Reluctantly she followed Stan back to his car and rode off with him. It was the first the two had spoken to each other since the strange experience in the forest.
"So how was your week?" asked Stan.
"It was fine." answered Donna. "And you?"
"I've been thinking about you all week." answered Stan.
This caused Donna's stomach to nearly turn. "So are we still returning to the valley in the woods by the old tree?" she asked.
"Of course!" affirmed Stan. "It's the perfect night to bring closure and finally unify our love."
"And just what did you have in mind?" nervously asked Donna.
; "Trust me..." reassured Stan. "Everything is going to be alright. I love you, and what I have planned is special."
Donna said nothing in return.
"What about you?" asked Stan. "Don't you love me?"
"Yes, I love you." affirmed Donna.
"What about Fredrick?" probed Stan. "Have you received any more letters from Fredrick? Is he still asking about us?"
"No, I haven't received anything from him." answered Donna.
"Well did you write him back?" further probed Stan.
Donna sighed, "Stan, I actually tore up his letter and threw it into the wastepaper basket. [She lied--very beside Donna's nature.] You are right, it's time to let go of him and accept what you and I have become."
"And what's that?" encouraged Stan.
"Lovers..." simply answered Donna. She hated saying this, but there wasn't much Donna could do or argue when in the presence of Stan.
Soon, Stan and Donna reached the lot of Berry Bush Forest Preserve. Stan parked his car, turned off the engine and exited. While Donna stepped out of the vehicle and had her back turned, Stan reached under the driver seat for the unsheathed double-edged dagger, and tucked it under the sleeve of his coat. Then he walked towards the direction of the trail
Donna followed Stan's lead. Not a word was spoken as the two pressed onwards.
The entire forest that night was illuminated by the Moon which shined through the skeletal trees that were still bare of any leaves. Eventually Stan and Donna made it to the point where they could deviate off the trail and work their way to the valley below.
Once touching the bottom, Stan immediately head towards the small stream and encouraged Donna to follow. "Come, let us see the flowing stream which continues to wash away the life and memories of last year."
But what was this? It had to be a hallucination, or an illusion brought on by--perhaps--the moonlight. What flowed in that stream was no longer the rain and melted snow from winter, but blood. Yes, the stream was now blood red!
"Well would you look at that." commented Stan.
Donna gasped. "Blood?"
"Yes! Blood!" answered Stan. "It's your blood that now flows through this stream. Just like your thoughts and feelings from last October--your tears--that were carried away the last time we were here, the life you lived before the birth of spring is also being washed away. Very interesting!"
Donna suddenly felt squeamish. She imagined her blood flowing out of a gaping wound and being sucked out via the running stream. The squeamishness was soon accompanied by a feeling of needing to pass out.
But Stan wasn't the least bit concerned for Donna. He simply announced, "And now let's pay your spirit mother a visit. Let's see if she's awoken in this birth of spring..." He continued by shouting, "AWOKEN to observe her Earthly daughter join with me in our unification of love!" Stan manhandled weak and squeamish Donna over to the old tree and then pushed her back against the trunk. There hadn't been any rain in the past couple of days, so the trunk for the most part was dry. It was, however, cold being that the outside temperature was about fifty degrees.
About a foot from her face, Stan looked into Donna's eyes.
Donna looked away and observed the surrounding forest. Skeletal trees bathed by the moonlight; the valley yet to have turned green; a nearby stream of flowing blood; it was all nothing short of a hellish realm that would exist in an evening's series of nightmares that the subconscious mind would choose to forget before awakening.
With his right hand Stan raised Donna's left above her head and then held it against the tree trunk. It wasn't much of a fight because Donna was very weak in that moment. With his other hand, Stan grasped a fistful of hair from the back of Donna's head and guided her lips back to his. Stan lay three kisses to her lips and then announced, "And now, oh Earthly daughter of her spirit mother--the spirit mother who resides in this magickal valley--we open our flesh and draw the blood of exchange, the exchange that will forever unite us as one.”
Donna felt a sharp sting on the palm of her left hand. Stan was using something--a blade of some sort--to cut her hand open. Unbeknown to Donna, it was the double-edged dagger wedged between Stan and Donna's palm. She screamed out of fright and then pleaded, "What are you doing??? Please stop!!!"
But Stan wouldn't hear the pleas. Satisfied that he had sliced open both his and her palms with the dagger, he removed his right hand from the handle and left the blade in place of both wounds so that by simply squeezing Donna's hand it would slice open more tissue to draw more blood. Stan's other hand resumed grasping a fistful of Donna's hair, and guided her lips back to his. He kissed her lovingly with all of the desire in his heart.
So weak, all that Donna could do was close her eyes and not resist Stan's kisses. And then the feeling of being consumed by an external spirit returned. Donna was no longer Donna. She was the goddess who returned to Earth to be with her most devotee who drew the blood of exchange to be eternally unified in love. The sweet and warm blood ran down her arm and under her Earthly garments. And then the Earthly mortal who had been graced not once, twice, but three times to kiss her; had finally lowered her bleeding palm. The double-edged dagger remained wedged into both wounds.
Our unified blood spills onto the ground of this sacred valley. May it bring life and renewal to the spirit mother... Donna's spirit mother... And now my spirit mother, too, as it is my blood unified with your Earthly daughter which runs into the ground at the birth of spring.
Stan looked up at the sky and could see the Moon and visible stars shining through the skeletal trees. It was confirmation and acceptance from the spirit world of Stan and Donna's unification. He looked over to Donna and announced, "And now my sister, let us depart from this place as united in love.”
***
Although Donna received a nasty cut to the palm of her hand, she actually managed to hide it so that it was never seen by Mother and Father. They never saw the wide, gaping, open wound that Donna feared would become badly infected. Through time it managed to heal so that by the middle of spring it was simply a line on her hand that really wasn't that recognizable.
As for Donna and Stan, the relationship between them was a bit turbulent for a while. I mean let's face it, Stan had been abusive of Donna; took her out into the woods, forced her to proclaim that she loved him, and then gave her a serious cut to her hand with a dagger. Feeling she had no choice in the matter--forced into this so-called loving relationship with Stan--there was some lingering bitterness and resentment in the air throughout the spring months. Then, as the cut on her hand healed into a barely recognizable scar, the loving relationship resumed between the two of them. Donna actually strongly desired to be with Stan and sought of ways to be with him on other nights of the week in addition to Friday and Saturday.
In that renewed phase of their relationship, Donna would sneak out the window on--say-- a Wednesday night so that she and Stan could venture to the Berry Bush Forest Preserve to simply be with the tree that was responsible for causing the two to fall in love. Stan would bring a blanket and some food in a picnic basket for a romantic late night dinner. By then there were plenty of leaves on the trees throughout Berry Bush Forest Preserve. On moonlit nights, the magickal valley of Donna's spirit mother was absolutely beautiful. And the spirit in the tree was definitely present as her two children were very much in love with each other. Donna and Stan would just sit there while talking, cuddling and making out. In fact, these days were probably the happiest days of Stan and Donna's life.
But then came a fateful day in late July when Donna's beloved Frederick had received an injury in battle to his right leg. It had been blown off by a land mine. Fredrick had written to Donna, informing her of the injury and that he would soon be coming home.
Much had changed in recent months pertaining to the level of relationship between Donna and Stan. Donna initially didn’t tell Stan about Fredrick’s misfortune because her feelings were much stronger, then, in comparison to how they were in the previous year.
That spring ritual obviously caused some serious changes for Donna. Still, way in the back of her mind, she experienced an internal conflict with Frederick; and realized that he would be coming home soon. Donna would be obligated to be with him in this time of need, and eventually marry him.
Donna was at a loss of what to do. This internal conflict went on for over a week until one night she finally mentioned Fredrick’s misfortune to Stan. She was initially fearful in doing this, recalling the way Stan reacted earlier in the spring when mentioning that Fredrick had written her and inquired about the rumor of her and Stan.
But it was no longer spring which meant that Stan wasn't so crazy with his episodes of neurosis. He seemed understanding of Donna’s circumstance, and then calmly suggested, “You need to break away from those things that have been holding you back from become the true Donna; the Donna that you truly want to be in your heart. And I think I have the perfect solution.
“And what would that be?” asked Donna.
It was this very moment when Stan’s annual morbid fetishes began to manifest. They inspired the plans for a morbid ritual that he and Donna could do in the woods that would finally help her break free of those things that trapped her. And the more he spoke of this ritual, the more his selfish desires fueled those morbid fetishes.
He said to Donna, “I know this might sound crazy. But what we can do is dig a hole right near the tree, deep enough to bury a large, wooden box. I’ll do that; you don’t have to worry about coming out here and doing hard work. Now this wooden box; we will make it large enough so that you can fit in. It’ll be like a coffin. In fact, it will be your coffin.”
Donna’s face contorted and made a queer expression. She was beginning to dislike the sound of Stan’s idea.
“Trust me.” Insisted Stan. “Now you won’t be dead when you climb into the box below the ground. You’ll only pretend to be dead. And I’ll bury you until the hole is filled up. Then, as soon as I’m finished, I’ll dig you up again. Like I said before, you’ll pretend to be dead until I open the box—your coffin—to make love to you. For all practical purposes, the Donna who once was will be dead. But the new Donna--the true Donna who you wish to be in our heart—will come to life after I kiss you.”
The Dead Forest Page 7