Cutter: Contemporary Romance Novel

by Joanna Mazurkiewicz

  “Well, Mr O’Donaghue, I’m glad to see that you are in good hands,” he said, smiling. “You are still on strong medications and you might experience dizziness. Someone needs to keep an eye on you for at least two days.”

  “I’ll be fine. I need to get home to my mother. She has cancer and I don’t like to leave her alone for too long. I’m sure that I can look after myself,” Harry said, sounding annoyed.

  “You have a brain concussion so you should be under someone’s supervision. I shouldn’t even let you out this early, but you’ve been showing vast improvement,” pressed the doctor, looking as if he was going to change his mind about the early release.

  “Vanessa is away this weekend so you can stay with me,” blurted out Sophia unexpectedly. She didn’t even know where it came from. Harry couldn’t stay alone. She felt the heat blaze through her face.

  “Great, it’s sorted out then. Just make sure that he rests. Mr O’Donaghue, if you experience any headaches, I want you back here straight away,” said the doctor.

  Harry nodded and the doctor left the room swiftly. Sophia felt mortified. She was playing her role well, but maybe she’d gone too far.

  “So you are going to look after me?” asked Harry, smiling.

  “My housemate is away in Dublin until Monday evening and I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if you stayed there for at least two days until you get back on your feet.”

  “I don’t mind being nursed by you,” he chuckled.

  “Stop having inappropriate thoughts! I’m only taking you to Vanessa’s apartment because you need to get better and you need to promise me that you are going to behave,” she warned him.

  “Come on, I’m only joking. I think you should be more worried about bringing a dangerous Irish man like me into your home.”

  “You are not dangerous,” she replied.

  “Yes, you are right – I’m not. I’m looking forward to these two days with you. I’ll call my cousin; she will keep an eye on my mum.”

  “Maybe I should stay with you at your house?”

  “No, my cousin is off uni, so she probably wouldn’t mind. I want you to myself this weekend, no interruptions.”

  Sophia helped him pack a bag and said she’d be back for him first thing in the morning when he was discharged. Sophia didn’t know why she’d even suggested taking care of him this weekend. Her stomach was crawling from her insides when she thought about sleeping arrangements. She was comfortable being with him, but sleeping with him made her worried. She wanted him, but she didn’t want to know what he was going to say when she told him that she was still a virgin.

  ***

  Harry couldn’t believe in his own luck when Sophia came up with the idea of him staying in her housemate’s apartment. He couldn’t wait to have her in his arms. He liked the way she became she shy and flushed after her suggestion – that meant that she thought about spending a night with him. He couldn’t understand why her parents treated her so harshly. He could barely contain himself when he thought about how she wanted to harm herself. She appeared to be so strong, confident, and unbreakable, but deep down she was lost. Harry knew that he had to be careful; he needed to take small steps. He wanted her to be comfortable with him. She was still tense and nervous around him, but he was going to work on that. He had to show her that he cared about her and it wasn’t just a holiday romance. She was his girl, the one that he dreamed about; the one that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He couldn’t see himself in London; he couldn’t leave his mother, but at the same time he couldn’t lose her.

  When he was back on his feet he felt much better. He was still battered and weak, but he was determined to enjoy his precious time with Sophia. His ribs were still giving him hell, but he just had to deal with it. Sophia wasn’t happy that he was leaving the hospital so early, but he wanted to be away from people. He had time to think about his revenge and he needed to get back to business. His mother still needed him.

  They got to Sophia’s apartment in the taxi.

  When they got to the apartment, they stood in the kitchen, not sure of what to say. Then Harry broke the silence.

  “You know, after that day when I touched you in the lobby, I came back and saw you kissing another guy,” he said, feeling that this memory was already driving him insane.

  “Oh my God. You saw me with Mason?” she asked, looking bewildered.

  He nodded, clenching his fists.

  “I hope he isn’t going to be around, because I swear to God that I’m going to kill him,” he snapped, parting his lips with anger.

  “I went out with him a few times to try to distract myself from you, but I told him last night that I’m not going to see him again,” she said.

  Harry exhaled with relief. He was out of his comfort zone. Being with Sophia made him feel peaceful, but he didn’t want to think about her being with someone else.

  He shrugged. “But he wants you, Sophia. It doesn’t matter that you ended things with him.”

  “Let’s talk about something else. I finished with Mason so you don’t have to worry. It was a mistake,” she explained, and then looked at Harry’s face. “Tell me what happened. Who did this to you, Harry?”

  He frowned, not looking at her.

  “It doesn’t matter, Sophia. I’ll take care of it.”

  “Are you kidding me? You aren’t going to take care of anything. You need to press charges and let the police deal with it,” she hissed.

  “Stop worrying about this, Sophia. You don’t just go to the police. I’ll make sure that the guy will regret what he did to me for the rest of his life.”

  “You are a fool! How do you expect to change if you are already planning revenge?” she muttered, but Harry left the room, waving his hand away.

  Sophia was angry with herself for bringing this up. Harry was stubborn and he wasn’t going to listen to her. In some ways she was glad that the police weren’t involved for now. The report at work was still in her cabinet and she was withholding important information. Her career was looking bleak; she wasn’t sure how long she could keep this away from Susan. If anyone found out that she was having a relationship with him and that she knew what he was doing, she would probably go to prison for a very long time. She knocked on the bathroom; he opened the door after a moment.

  “Harry, this is wrong. You need to go to the police,” she pleaded.

  “Sophia, please. I’m really not interested in going through courts, and then, in the end, finding out that there isn’t enough evidence to charge those fuckers.”

  “So what are you going to do?”

  “Don’t worry what I’m going to do, beautiful. I don’t want to talk about this anymore. We should have dinner instead,” he said, touching her palm, which made her forget about whatever she wanted to say. “Let’s order Chinese. I checked your fridge and there is nothing there.”

  “Vanessa isn’t very domesticated and I haven’t gone shopping for days, so I guess Chinese it is,” she muttered.

  “That’s my girl, but I do want to discuss something else with you. Something serious.”

  Sophia tensed her jaw and looked at him. She knew that this was coming. They hadn’t had a chance to discuss what Sophia revealed to him while he was in a coma. She didn’t want to be uncomfortable around him because he knew.

  “There is nothing to discuss, Harry. I used self-harm as an escape route, and then I went through therapy,” she explained.

  “You are stunning and bright, and maybe this will sound daft, but I want you to promise me that you will never hurt yourself again.”

  His voice was tense and she couldn’t avoid his piercing brown eyes. He was genuinely worried about her. Sophia swallowed hard, losing her confidence. She’d made these sorts of promises a while back.

  “I thought that this was all behind me. After the date with Mason I hurt myself again. I don’t remember what happened, but he touched me and then I had a panic attack. When I came home I used the kitchen knife …”
Her voice trailed off, and she pushed the tears away. She wasn’t that sort of person anymore. “Then you saw that cut, when we kissed for the first time.”

  Harry scowled but he didn’t make a sound. He drew a breath.

  “Do you feel anxious when I touch you?”

  “No, it’s different being around you. I think I finally found the control that I have been looking for. You are like my new therapy,” she whispered, feeling calmer.

  “Then you are never ever going to hurt yourself again. Do you understand me?” he ordered, holding her hand.

  “I won’t.”

  “If any of those emotions or feelings come back, just promise me that you will find me. You don’t need to hurt yourself anymore. I’m here, baby.”

  Harry lifted her chin and kissed her gently.

  She wanted to stay in this moment forever but she had to be sensible.

  “Harry – let’s order the food,” she whispered, pulling away.

  He looked annoyed but agreed because his empty stomach was rumbling. Sophia took her phone and dialled the number from the advert that she found online. She asked Harry what he wanted and placed the order. She smiled, thinking that at least, this evening, everything was slowly beginning to fall into place.

  Half an hour later, she made sure that Harry took the medications and asked him if he was feeling all right. He kept teasing, so in the end she gave up checking if he was experiencing any dizziness. As the evening began to unfold, Sophia was too nervous to ask about sleeping arrangements. Harry hadn’t brought the subject up, and Sophia had intently avoided talking about it. She couldn’t imagine a more mortifying conversation.

  “Come here; cuddle up to me,” he said pulling her towards him. She plastered a smile on her face and lay on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

  “Are you comfortable like that?”

  “With you? Always,” he chuckled, but then he twisted her unexpectedly around so he was on top.

  He didn’t let her respond because he pressed his lips against hers, nibbling and sucking her. His other hand moved down to her backside and his touch burned her skin. Sophia was unable to fight the fire that brewed inside her core. His lips moved down to her neck, caressing her collarbone. Sophia looped her hands around his back, breathing heavily. Her body wanted more, but her mind was screaming no. She could feel that he was already hard when he brushed against her leg.

  “God you are beautiful,” he whispered, nibbling her earlobe.

  She parted her lips willingly as the wave of heat travelled through her body and down to her sex. His right hand slipped under the thin fabric of her T-shirt, caressing her bare flesh and exploring those parts that no one else touched. His scent infused the air, making her dizzy. His thumb started circulating around her hardened nipple. Then they both heard that there was someone at the door.

  “Will we ever have time for ourselves?” he asked angrily, still pressing himself against her. Sophia giggled.

  “Let’s just open the door. Otherwise he might leave.”

  “You are right – I’m starving,” he added and got up to release Sophia. She had smoothed her clothes and went to the door. A short Asian man smiled at her.

  “Your order please,” he said with a thick Chinese accent. Sophia went back to get her purse, but Harry was already limping towards her.

  “Here, I’ll pay,” he said, handing her a twenty-pound note.

  “Hey, I’m supposed to be looking after you,” she said.

  “I never allow any girls that I’m going out with to pay for food; it’s just my rule.”

  Sophia rolled her eyes and took the money. He was full of surprises, but she wasn’t going to complain.

  The food was delicious. They sat down at the table and enjoyed what was in front of them, talking about Harry’s other brothers. As the evening was slowly turning into late night, Sophia and Harry were more comfortable with each other. She finally opened herself up to him, told him about the therapy and her difficult time at home. He listened, and for the first time in her life, she felt that a man didn’t judge her.

  Chapter Thirty-one

  “So where is your room? If we don’t up to bed now, you are going to fall asleep on the table and we both know that isn’t a good idea,” said Harry, noticing Sophia yawn once again. It was half past eleven and it was definitely time for bed.

  “Come on, I’ll show you,” she said, sounding uneasy. Harry wasn’t going to push her to do anything that she didn’t want, but he hated when he had to stop kissing her. He thought that he shouldn’t really have a problem with his broken leg, although his shattered ribs were restricting his movements. He looked around Sophia’s bedroom while she was going through her drawers. He could feel that she was avoiding looking at him. She seemed tense. Harry limped to her, the heat of his body making her breathless.

  “Come on, Sophia, look at me,” he said, his voice deep and hypnotic. When she finally turned around, he saw that she was hesitant. “Tell me what’s wrong. If you want I can sleep on the couch.”

  “No, no. You are not going to sleep on the couch. You are still not well,” she protested.

  “We are going to sleep together in this bed, and I can assure you that I won’t touch you if you don’t want me to.”

  “No, it’s not that. I want you to touch me. It’s just...” Her voice trailed off; her cheeks were burning with embarrassment.

  “What is it, Sophia?” he asked.

  She lifted her eyes and met his.

  “Well, I’ve never had sex before.”

  For a very long moment no one said anything. Only part of her words got through to him.

  She was a virgin. His Sophia was pure and she had never slept with anyone else.

  He ran his hand through his hair and swallowed hard. The happiness flowed through his body. He parted his lips to say something, to comfort her, but instead he had this unbelievable urge to scream that he was the luckiest fucker on the planet. He couldn’t quite grasp that no one had ever touched her before.

  “Hold on. Are you telling me that you have never slept with anyone else before?”

  “Yes, Harry. I’m a twenty-two-year-old virgin. It’s pathetic, I know,” she muttered, hiding her face in her palms.

  He pulled her into his arms, feeling ecstatic and aroused.

  “So when I made you come on the beach, that was your first orgasm?” he asked quietly.

  “Yes.”

  “Oh my sweet Lord, this is unbelievable.”

  “Please don’t embarrass me more.”

  “Baby, don’t be embarrassed. I can’t believe in my own luck. We won’t do anything that you don’t want. I promise you that this will be very special.”

  “I want you, I really do. I can’t imagine doing this with anyone else, but right now we are both tired, so let’s just go to sleep. This is already mortifying.”

  “You are fucking awesome, pure and irresistible.”

  “Harry, my body is scarred and ugly. I would understand if, after seeing me, you don’t want to touch me,” she confessed.

  “Hey, don’t you even dare say that. I’ll fucking enjoy making love to the most beautiful girl on this planet.”

  Sophia smiled and they both got into bed. When he was wrapped around her body, he felt that he’d never want to be anywhere else. Sophia was warm and the purest woman that he ever met. And she was his. He was the only man that had ever touched her. He was hard even thinking about it. But he knew they had to take it slow. As her breathing slowed and she fell asleep, he watched over her and he thanked fate for allowing him to have crossed paths with Sophia.

  ***

  The morning light was slowly pouring into the room. Harry blinked himself awake, feeling a lean, warm body wrapped around his. He smiled, trying not to move, but he felt his growing erection. He loved the smell of Sophia’s hair, oranges and peaches; he could barely control himself to not touch her. She was so thin, like she was going to break at any minute. He wanted to kiss her marks on h
er skin; she was so perfect, the scars never mattered. He buried his head in her hair, inhaling her scent, trying to lock this moment in his memory forever. He was willing to push himself to do anything for her, as long as she would stay with him. He moved his hand and touched her thigh, the muscles on her leg were firm and flexed. He was overjoyed thinking that no one had ever laid their hands on her.

  “Harry O’Donaghue, you are so bad. You woke me up,” she murmured and turned to face him with her eyes closed.

  “God, you are even more stunning in the morning,” he said, smiling and pulling her curly hair away from her face. The tip of her lips lifted up in a smile. She opened her amber eyes.