Mom's Perfect Boyfriend

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Mom's Perfect Boyfriend Page 11

by Crystal Hemmingway


  Gratitudes:

  I am grateful for Crystal’s desire to connect with her community.

  I am grateful for DJ Dane, who owns Mother’s favorite Christmas album (the Do-Re-Mi Children’s Choir), and can surprise her with it at the HHHA fundraiser.

  I am grateful for the man in the park, who had such a handsome smile and reminded me not to give up hope.

  Crystal’s Journal, November 17

  I only have a few minutes to write, because it’s already 9:30 p.m. and I haven’t gotten any work done on my novel today (I was with Mom all day and she needed help with her website).

  But I did want to mention that my Smart Companion stood me up. There wasn’t a single message from Boople the entire day. I looked up and down that dog park, and there was no sign of anyone from Boople. No robots to be found. They didn’t even give me a phone number. I woke up at the crack of dawn and pretended to be excited about a freaking tree planting, and for what? NOTHING.

  Thanks, Boople.

  Text Messages, November 18

  Mom

  Crystal, the website is down!!!!

  Crystal

  What are you seeing?

  Mom

  It says the domain is for sale!!!

  Mom

  Someone else could steal margotsmallows.com from us!!!

  Crystal

  It looks fine on my phone

  Mom

  That’s so weird!

  Crystal

  Did you try reloading it?

  Mom

  It’s still down!!!

  Crystal

  Did you double-check the address?

  Mom

  Oh my goodness! I was going to margotswallows.com!!!

  Mom

  Can we buy it too and have it send people to the right website?

  Crystal

  I don’t think you want to be associated with that address…

  Mom

  Why not?

  Crystal

  umm…

  Margot’s Journal, Sunday November 19

  You would not believe what happened at the farmers’ market today! Crystal and I were there, manning the stand, when I heard a dog barking. The dog ran right up to me, trailing its leash, and it looked just like the Pomeranian from the dog park on Friday. Well, wouldn’t you know it but then that handsome guy from the dog park runs over and scoops up the dog! Turns out the dog’s name is Pickle, and she’s not his – he’s dog sitting for the weekend. How sweet is that?

  He recognized me right away, and said, “You’re that lovely woman from the dog park!” I think I must’ve turned beet red, because people usually say “that sweater is pretty” or “you look cute today,” but it’s rare to have such a handsome guy call me “lovely.” I tried to focus on treating him like any customer, so I wouldn’t make a fool of myself. I offered him a marshmallow sample, and he said they were “very gooey and delicious.” And then he bought two boxes right then and there, one for him and one for his parents. I guess that his parents live in Northern California, and he is close to them.

  I thought he was going to head on at that point, but then he was actually a bit chatty. I told him about how I’d left my job as a hygienist recently to start my marshmallow business. He asked me good questions, like why I chose marshmallows and what it was like to sell at the market. He also talked to Crystal a bit, but then she hurried off to get a snack. (I don’t know why she didn’t want to eat the granola bar she brought, but sometimes she’s like that.)

  So his name is Adam, and he’s a screenwriter. He wasn’t allowed to say too much about his work, but he primarily works on films for one of the big Hollywood studios. I had no idea people like that lived in San Diego. I thought they were mostly in Los Angeles.

  Then he got a call and said he’d have to go, and I thought that would be the end of it. But then he got out a business card, wrote something on the back, and handed it to me. As he was leaving, I turned it over and it said one word: “Coffee?” And he’d written his phone number below it! I couldn’t believe it! I also noticed that he didn’t have a wedding ring, but I was sure someone with such stunning blue eyes would at least have a girlfriend. Maybe he does have a girlfriend. Perhaps the girl who owns the dog? You never know with coffee; maybe he just wants to meet as friends.

  Crystal thinks it sounds like a date, and that I should definitely go. I’m so nervous! It’s been so long since I’ve been on a date! I told myself that I would sleep on it, and call him tomorrow. I don’t want to seem too desperate.

  I can’t believe that he wants to go to coffee!

  Gratitudes:

  I am grateful for Adam, for remembering me from the dog park and talking with me.

  I am grateful for having a (potential) coffee date!

  I am grateful for marshmallows, which are helping me meet interesting people at the farmers’ market.

  Crystal’s Journal, November 19

  OH MY GOD. It’s him. The guy from the farmer’s market, Adam. He’s the Smart Companion.

  At first, I thought it was a really strange coincidence. But then Mom said something about him looking like a cross between Pierce Brosnan and Robert Redford. And I was like, “OMG he totally is,” which seemed a little suspicious. And then I got an email from Boople later that afternoon, with a five-question survey about the Smart Companion introduction. And right there, on the survey form, was Adam’s handsome mug.

  It shouldn’t be possible for him to look that realistic. I thought he’d be kind of metallic, or plastic-looking. Like creepily perfect. But I was looking at his face, and the dude had freckles. Stubble. A subtly receding hairline. He looked freaking REAL.

  And now Mom keeps giggling every time she thinks about him, which is like every two seconds. If she goes on this coffee date with him, we may reach the point of no return.

  What if she falls in love with him?

  When she finds out the truth about him, will she blame me? Will I have to be the one to tell her???

  If he breaks her heart, it’ll probably be worse than the James thing.

  And why did they have to make him so handsome? Now Mom’s going to have astronomical standards for attractiveness. I might’ve doomed her to a life of spinsterhood.

  What the hell am I going to do??????????

  Boople Chat, Nov 20 1:23 PM

  Lisa

  what’s this about a coffee date?

  Crystal

  mom’s going on one

  Lisa

  yeah i got that much

  Lisa

  who’s the dude?

  Crystal

  just some guy she met at the farmers’ market

  Lisa

  ah ok

  Lisa

  did you meet him too then?

  Crystal

  yeah he seems nice

  Crystal

  90% sure he’s not a creeper

  Lisa

  cool

  Lisa

  you think he has potential?

  Crystal

  not sure yet

  Crystal

  there’s still a small chance it’s just a friend date

  Lisa

  ah

  Crystal

  yeah but mom’s seriously crushing

  Crystal

  she was so distracted that she mixed up the salt and the sugar in her latest batch of marshmallows

  Lisa

  wow

  Lisa

  not much you can do there then

  Crystal

  btw i have some news

  Lisa

  tell me tell me

  Crystal

  you know how grace has a handmade goats’ milk soap stand at the farmers’ market?

  Lisa

  yep

  Crystal

  well i was waiting in line for my pierogis

  Crystal

  and the pierogi stall was on the back side of grace’s booth

  Crystal

  there was this cardboard shippi
ng box sticking out from under one of her tables, and it had some writing on it, in both chinese and english

  Crystal

  turns out grace’s soaps aren’t so handmade

  Crystal

  she’s buying them in bulk from china

  Lisa

  !!!

  Lisa

  what did mom say?

  Crystal

  i haven’t told her

  Crystal

  i’m not exactly a fan of grace but it seemed rude to expose her all the same

  Crystal

  she’s crazy busy so it makes sense that she’s taking shortcuts

  Lisa

  sure

  Lisa

  but isn’t there some rule about how things have to be handmade at the farmers’ market?

  Crystal

  yeah pretty much

  Crystal

  i’m not going to rat her out though

  Crystal

  even if she drives mom nuts, she’s still her friend

  Lisa

  fair enough

  Crystal

  how’s work?

  Lisa

  busy but good

  Lisa

  smart companion trials are in full swing

  Lisa

  we’ve already had two formal complaints from some testers on the east coast

  Lisa

  the extraction teams are en route as we speak

  Crystal

  yikes i’m sorry

  Lisa

  it’s fine

  Lisa

  we’re getting lots of good data at least

  Crystal

  :)

  Lisa

  you didn’t get recruited to test one, did you?

  Lisa

  figured you’d have mentioned it by now

  Crystal

  eh i think they must’ve had more compelling applications

  Lisa

  aw sorry

  Crystal

  no worries

  Crystal

  i thought you were one of the people interacting with the testers…?

  Lisa

  nope that’s like two pay grades above me

  Lisa

  i just write out emails and get broad sets of data with names removed

  Crystal

  ah ok

  Crystal

  looking forward to seeing you and bryan in a couple of days!!!

  Lisa

  yeah me too!

  Lisa

  btw if you don’t mind my asking

  Lisa

  have you heard from david recently?

  Crystal

  there’s been nothing for weeks

  Crystal

  feels like i’m basically single again

  Lisa

  aw :(

  Lisa

  i know he’s on the trail and all so communication is limited

  Lisa

  but have you considered sending him a care package?

  Crystal

  maybe

  Crystal

  i kind of wanted to wait until i had news about the novel or something

  Lisa

  ah sure

  Lisa

  but still you’ve been more than patient

  Lisa

  it’s not fair of him to keep you in limbo so long

  Crystal

  thanks

  Lisa

  how’s the novel going, anyway?

  Crystal

  some days are better than others

  Lisa

  well if you need a break you could always write velocirapture :D :D :D

  Crystal

  if i had any spare time, i wouldn’t be wasting it on some seedy dino sex novel

  Lisa

  you never know, it might just be your big break

  Crystal

  god i hope not

  Lisa

  sorry but i’ve got to pop out for a bit

  Crystal

  don’t tell me it’s the dentist again

  Lisa

  heh no

  Lisa

  i think i might have an ear infection

  Lisa

  hoping to get some antibiotics

  Crystal

  aw man i’m sorry

  Crystal

  will you be ok to fly?

  Lisa

  should be

  Lisa

  ttys

  Crystal

  kk bye

  Margot’s Journal, November 22

  I had a lovely coffee date with Adam today. We met at a cozy little coffee and tea shop near the beach, which I’d been to with Ingrid a few months ago.

  Adam was there when I arrived, which meant he must’ve come at least 10 minutes early. It was a pleasant surprise, because men are often running late and sometimes even stand you up when you arrange to meet on online dating sites. Adam was waiting outside for me, especially since it was a small shop, which I thought was very considerate. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen people (especially men) hogging a whole four-person table to themselves, using a chair each for their laptop bag and coat.

  Then we went inside and he asked what I recommended. Adam is more of a tea person than a coffee person, so I recommended the Jasmine Pearl. He didn’t presume to order for me, but when I said that I wanted the same thing, he asked if I’d be interested in sharing a pot. Of course, he also insisted on paying. It was starting to seem like a genuine date, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up just yet. It was already a treat simply to go out and enjoy a cup of tea with such a handsome man. I didn’t want to spoil it by asking him if this was a date or just a friend thing.

  We found a table near the window, and he offered me the best seat, looking out onto the fountain. I insisted that he take it, since it was his first time at the shop, but it was nice to be asked all the same. We had a lovely conversation, and never seemed to run out of things to say. Adam told me a bit about his job. He has written some screenplays for movies, and a few have been optioned, but not yet made into films. However, those scripts got him work as a script doctor, which is basically someone who comes in and edits other peoples’ screenplays, but generally they don’t get credit for it. I asked him if it was ever hard to see a film he worked on but not see his name in the credits. Apparently Adam tends to prefer script doctoring recently, because it pays well and allows him more downtime. He also prefers to stay out of all the studio politics, and he says that this way, he has a set payment for each script, and it’s a more straightforward process.

  Adam also seemed very interested in my work. He asked what drew me to the dental field, and what I enjoy about being a professional baker. I was a little surprised, because that was the first time anyone has called me a professional when it comes to marshmallows! I’ve always thought of myself that way, of course, but sometimes it feels like people aren’t taking me seriously. I think my mother has a difficult time seeing it as a viable career choice, because it doesn’t directly relate to my degrees. I suspect she’ll come around once it starts pulling in a profit, which is only a matter of time. Adam thinks my business has a lot of potential, especially because I’m so passionate about it. I told him some of my ideas for new flavors, and he said that they all sounded delicious. He especially liked the idea of matcha or lavender flavors, because they would be more unique.

  We didn’t get into our full life stories (there wouldn’t have been nearly enough time hehe) but Adam did mention that he has an ex-wife, and no children. He likes children, but they weren’t in the cards for him and his ex-wife. Like me, he tried online dating, but found it too frustrating and gave up. It seemed that we have a lot in common, such as an interest in films and traveling. It sounds like he’s been to some great places, and has lots of interesting stories.

  Unfortunately, we both had to leave after a couple of hours, because of the upcoming holiday. Adam was going to drive north to see his parents, and I had to get back to start on the cooking. When we were saying our goodb
yes, I happened to see his car in the parking lot, which was a very nice red Tesla. I didn’t realize a script doctor could make that kind of money, but it was definitely a good sign. It put James’ beat-up Corolla to shame.

  Adam asked if I’d be interested in getting together again after the holidays. I know I probably should’ve said that I’d call him, or check my schedule. But things had gone so well, I asked him if he’d want to go see a movie. He said “that would be perfect” and then drove off in his fancy car. I didn’t see him drive very far, but he took out his car at a nice, moderate pace – no screeching tires or disregard for turn signals.

  I don’t want to count my chickens (so to speak), but Adam seems like he has long-term potential. He was so considerate – holding the doors for me, asking for my recommendations, and having a genuine interest in what I had to say. It’s like night and day compared to the selfish, egotistical men I’ve met on dating websites; they mostly seem desperate for sex. Adam is so handsome, too – he wouldn’t have to be that nice, but he is. I don’t know how this happened, but I feel pretty lucky. Maybe it’s finally time something started going my way. Why else would the universe bring me someone like Adam? I think it’s fate. I even had a tarot reading a year ago that said my man would have a red car, and Adam’s Tesla was red! If that isn’t synchronicity, I don’t know what is.

  Thanksgiving is tomorrow, and there’s a lot of work left to do. Crystal hasn’t been helping much yet (she got a couple of paid jobs writing last-minute articles) but we’re going to have a full house tomorrow. There’ll be me and Crystal, Lisa, Bryan, Ingrid, and Ingrid’s husband, Warren. I considered inviting Adam (if he had nowhere else to go, of course), but he already was seeing his parents, so that’ll be nice for them. I made two pies yesterday (regular pumpkin and gluten-free pecan, since Ingrid is gluten-free this month and pecan is her favorite). There will still be quite a few dishes to prepare tomorrow, but I think we’ll be ready in time if we start around 7 a.m. I made a plan, and it’ll be tight, but it’s going to work. Crystal promised to help tomorrow, so I put her on the cranberry sauce and the bread for now, and maybe the mashed potatoes if I get busy.

 

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