Mom's Perfect Boyfriend

by Crystal Hemmingway

  Only 1830 miles to go. We’re over a third of the way.

  October 1

  We’re near South Lake Tahoe now, almost at the Sierras. It’s been really windy lately, and we’ve been pushing hard to stay ahead of some storms. Everyone worries about the bears and the mountain lions, but lightning can be a legitimate risk in high, exposed areas like these. I was also dealing with some nausea, probably from the elevation. Bucktooth gave me some chia seeds, which helped a bit. He joined us near Sierra City, but will probably outpace us soon.

  It seems like we’re always hungry lately, so we’ve been calorie-loading at resupply points. We hitched a ride into town and stopped at a restaurant, where I ate a whole pizza, two burritos, and a milkshake. Mike had two sodas, one 8” pizza, two burgers, and three sides of fries. We haven’t eaten like this since we were teenagers.

  We got a ride back from an awesome lady at the grocery store. There’ve been a lot of cows on the trail lately, and they all wear bear bells. Most of them run away from us, but there was one who just stood there, staring. There are also some chubby ground squirrels that might be related to prairie dogs. They made me think of Crystal, who’s a big fan of squirrels.

  I’m not really sure who I’m writing to, but it’s nice to have a record, at least. My days feel long, especially when we’re trying to make camp at the end of a 30- or 40-mile day, but it’s hard to believe we’ve been on the trail for over two months already. If we keep up this pace, we’ll probably finish by mid-November.

  1093 miles left. We’re over halfway now.

  October 12

  We made it to Kennedy Meadows. It wasn’t easy; much later in the year and we might’ve been toast. It snowed a few times and neither of us had enough layers, but we managed to get through it. We decided to skip Mt. Whitney, and it was a good thing, too, because I didn’t have enough food for it.

  We’re taking a zero (rest day) today. Mike turned on his phone again last night, and had some messages from his mom. She’s been diagnosed with cancer, but she didn’t want him to leave the trail. I told him to fly back to be with her. The PCT will still be here next year, but with cancer, it’s never a sure thing.

  I called my parents today, and had a good talk with them. It was nice to hear their voices, but I think I really just wanted to know that they were ok. I’ve met some amazing people on the PCT, from the couple who cooked us dinner outside of Seiad Valley, to hikers like Bucktooth, who we’d felt like we’d known for years. But I’ve only got one family, and I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to them. I guess I took it for granted that they’d be fine while I was gone, and that they’d be the same when I got back.

  Before we got here, Mike and I were talking about hiking the Appalachian trail, and maybe someday the Continental Divide. I never really considered myself an outdoors person before, but there’s a simplicity to life out here, and it’s far more natural than spending my waking hours in a cubicle. I don’t know if I’ll be able to go back to my old job, even if I want to. The trail has a way of getting inside you.

  After Mike heard about his mom, something changed in him. He said he hadn’t made up his mind yet, but I could see it in his eyes: he’d already given up the dream of finishing. It’s not fair, and I really hate to lose my favorite hiking buddy. But it feels like I need to keep going.

  There’s still over a thousand miles left, but we’re through some of the hardest parts already. The desert might not be fun, but I think it’s doable this time of year. I want to do this – not just for me, but for Mike, too.

  November 27

  Hi Crystal,

  I got your package yesterday. I didn’t believe them when they said it was for me. Sure enough, it had “Smeagol” written on it, and you even spelled it properly, too. Thanks for the food and supplies. It’s been a long time since I’ve had good chocolate, and I’d lost count of the holes in my socks.

  I’ve been stranded here at Hiker’s Heaven for several days now. I slipped on a rock about 10 miles out. It was a dumb mistake so I tried to walk it off, but my ankle was throbbing. I’ve got a light sprain, and I have to stay off it for 10-14 days. I thought I’d be at the border by now, but instead I’ve been laid up less than 500 miles from the finish line.

  I’ve been thinking about calling it here. Mike went home over a month ago, so what am I trying to prove? I’ve already had some amazing experiences and learned so much. I’ve got to go home at some point. Does it really make a difference when? Yesterday I had talked myself into quitting.

  But then I got your box. I can’t tell you how much it meant to me, after being stranded here for days.

  It’s great to hear that you’ve been writing, but most of all, that you haven’t given up on me. It was almost as good as one of your hugs.

  It was harder than I expected to spend Thanksgiving among strangers. The trail family is great, but they’re a different kind of family, and nothing beats my mom’s mashed potatoes. I thought I appreciated my parents, especially with what Mike is going through, but I’m not sure that I do. I was taking it for granted that my parents are supportive, and that you’d be there for me. I overreacted about your mom, and I’m sorry that I let it come between us and what we had these past three years.

  I know it might seem like too little, too late. And what I have to say next might not help my case.

  My trail name is Smeagol. I was pretty annoyed by that at first. They could have called me something cool like Frodo or Samwise or Aragorn. I know it’s customary to pick a name that’s sort of dirty or embarrassing, but you know how I am about this stuff. It chafes my pride.

  But then, over time, I got to thinking about it. My job has been so punishing lately. I lose so much sleep over it, and it’s always hanging around my neck like an anchor. I can’t relax anymore, because the job takes priority over everything. The stress of it drove us apart.

  And in spite of that, I’ve clung to my position at the studio, desperately, as if my life depends on it. I’m ashamed to admit how much I need it. And that’s an awful lot like Gollum, when you think about it.

  Smeagol was his better half. It’s the person he used to be, before the Ring corrupted him. So in that sense, the name is perfect. But I feel like I have a long way to go before I really deserve it. Right now they should probably call me Gollum.

  I want to go back to being the person I was when I met you. I’m going to finish the journey I began back in July. There are 450 miles left, and maybe that’s enough time to leave behind the craven, light-shy creature that I feel like I’ve become. I hope you’ll still recognize me when I get home.

  Tomorrow, I set off on the last leg of my epic journey. I’ve enclosed my letters, starting with Timberline Lodge. I didn’t address them to anyone in particular, but I’m pretty sure that I was writing to you this whole time. Mike had encouraged me to keep some distance and focus on the trail, but you’ve never been far from my mind. It’s impossible not to think of you, especially when I see squirrels and pikas.

  Thanks for the supplies, and for your support. I was too hard on you about your mom, and I’m sorry. When I finally finish the trail, I’d like to see you again, if you’re willing. We have a lot to catch up on, and I’d love to hear more about your books.

  -David

  Boople Chat, Dec 2 12:41 PM

  Lisa

  it’s not nice to casually send me a picture of postcards from your estranged lover

  Lisa

  and then disappear for three hours

  Lisa

  you didn’t even include the back sides

  Lisa

  that chubby squirrel thing is pretty cute though

  Lisa

  maybe i should start making up captions

  Lisa

  “I like big nuts and I cannot lie”

  Crystal

  hey

  Lisa

  oh look

  Lisa

  you’re alive

  Crystal

  sorry


  Crystal

  i booked a zumba class this morning and mom decided to come with

  Crystal

  but it was too intense for her after five minutes so we went for a walk on the beach instead

  Crystal

  and then we were hungry so we got lunch

  Lisa

  a likely excuse

  Crystal

  :/

  Crystal

  so david got delayed because he sprained his ankle

  Crystal

  but he’s coming home in the next few weeks, and it sounds like he wants to talk

  Lisa

  did he apologize at least?

  Crystal

  pretty much

  Crystal

  i’m still a bit on the fence about the whole thing

  Lisa

  he was the one who left, you know

  Lisa

  you don’t have any obligation to see him

  Crystal

  i know

  Crystal

  but i don’t think he left just because of the mom thing

  Crystal

  his last project really tore him up

  Lisa

  quarter life crisis, then?

  Crystal

  something like that

  Crystal

  anyway he’s got 450 miles left to go

  Crystal

  it feels like he’s accomplished so much, but i’ve been writing for months and i’m still not done with my novel

  Lisa

  the fairytale one?

  Crystal

  yeah the rapunzel sequel

  Crystal

  i’m stuck near the end

  Lisa

  aw

  Lisa

  you’re not giving up, are you?

  Crystal

  not yet

  Crystal

  but i think it’s time i started looking for a job

  Lisa

  i thought you already were, for unemployment and all

  Crystal

  i mean a job i’m actually qualified for

  Crystal

  unemployment isn’t going to last forever

  Crystal

  and i’d really like to move out

  Lisa

  things with adam are going well, then?

  Crystal

  yeah but that’s not the reason

  Crystal

  i haven’t told david that i’m living with mom

  Crystal

  i just said i had a roommate

  Lisa

  oh right

  Lisa

  you don’t have to apologize to him for living with her

  Crystal

  i know

  Crystal

  i did it for my writing

  Crystal

  but now that i have more time than ever to write, i can’t type a single word

  Lisa

  well don’t be too hard on yourself

  Lisa

  you might just need a break

  Crystal

  hmm maybe

  Crystal

  i guess i just don’t want david to be disappointed, you know?

  Crystal

  he went on this huge life-changing journey but it feels like i’m back to where i was in high school

  Lisa

  but you’ve written almost an entire novel

  Lisa

  and once you get a job, you can always get a place of your own again

  Crystal

  TRUE

  Lisa

  just don’t sell yourself short, ok?

  Lisa

  you’ve been through a lot this year

  Crystal

  yeah, thanks

  Lisa

  btw what’s your take on adam?

  Lisa

  do you think he’s good for mom?

  Crystal

  i wasn’t sure at first

  Crystal

  she’s been acting pretty silly around him, and it’s a little embarrassing

  Lisa

  like she’s making puns or lovestruck?

  Crystal

  lovestruck

  Crystal

  but honestly i think it’s been a good thing overall

  Crystal

  grandma dropped the whole HHHA party on mom and she didn’t freak out at all

  Lisa

  not even a tear?

  Crystal

  nope, no meltdown whatsoever

  Lisa

  wow

  Crystal

  yeah

  Crystal

  plus i actually have some downtime again

  Lisa

  that’s good

  Crystal

  but i think adam has been good for her, too

  Crystal

  she’s paying a little more attention to her appearance lately

  Crystal

  and she’s been more confident too

  Lisa

  well in that case i’m on board

  Lisa

  would be nice to see a picture of him at some point

  Crystal

  oh yeah he keeps taking pictures of mom

  Crystal

  i’ll try to get you one

  Lisa

  cool thanks

  Lisa

  btw i was thinking of sending grandma another fruit box for xmas

  Lisa

  want to go in together?

  Crystal

  sure

  Crystal

  i’d try to be more creative but she can pretty much buy what she wants

  Crystal

  and she seems to enjoy the fruit every time

  Lisa

  i heard some of her HHHA friends were jealous of the pears

  Crystal

  LOL

  Crystal

  then fancy pears it is

  Lisa

  how much do you want to do?

  Crystal

  is $15 ok? i’m still a little tight on money

  Lisa

  sure np

  Lisa

  mom said something about freelance work though?

  Crystal

  it’s just a short-term thing

  Crystal

  probably won’t last much longer

  Crystal

  just transferred the money to you

  Lisa

  thanks

  Crystal

  oh and don’t forget

  Crystal

  grandma’s surgery is tomorrow

  Lisa

  oh right, thanks

  Lisa

  i’ll send her some flowers

  Lisa

  want me to put your name on the card?

  Crystal

  thanks, but i’m already in on mom’s bouquet ;)

  Lisa

  i see how it is

  Crystal

  aw hehe

  Crystal

  sorry but i’ve gotta run

  Crystal

  mom needs help prepping for the farmers’ market again

  Lisa

  ok have fun

  Crystal

  thanks ttyl

  Email, December 2

  From: Margot Hemmingway

  To: Eric Robertson

  Subject: HHHA Commemorative Video

  Hello Eric,

  I hope you are doing well. My mother, Peggy, is a member of the Northfield HHHA and said that you may have offered to make a commemorative video for our holiday fundraiser.

  Unfortunately, we would need the video by December 24. I realize that this is very short notice, and I’m sure you must be up to your ears in Christmas card photoshoots and weddings and whatnot. My mother also seemed to be under the impression that a professional such as yourself would want to make a 20-minute video in exchange for a single comp ticket, which we are currently selling for $22.

  I’m sure that this was just a misunderstanding, so there’s no need to m
ake a video. However, I felt I should at least offer you a comp ticket, in case you had plans to be in the area already, and were interested in spending Christmas eve with a bunch of blue-haired ladies.

  Sorry again for the trouble.

  Take care,

  Margot

  Email, December 2

  From: Eric Robertson

  To: Margot Hemmingway

  Subject: Re: HHHA Commemorative Video

  Hi Margot,

  It’s nice to hear from you. I didn’t realize you were still working with HHHA Northfield. Are you back in Minnesota?

  Work is keeping me busy as usual, but your commemorative video would be a nice change of pace. It would be inconsiderate to back out now, especially since your mother has already put together the accompanying playlist and tap dance routine. It seems the commemorative video is as vital as ever, and this professional will rise to the challenge.

  I do have some requirements, however:

  1) At least 250 photos, ideally 300, to make the show.

  2) Two comp tickets.

  Let me know when you have the photos together. I won’t have time to airbrush any pimples and age spots, but if you leave me at least two weeks, I’ll get you something decent.

  Eric

  Crystal’s Journal, December 3

  Grandma is having her surgery today. Mom said she isn’t worried about it but then she tried to toast a potholder this morning, so I think she’s a little flustered. We probably won’t hear anything until the afternoon (she still hasn’t gone into the operating room yet, apparently), so there’s not much we can do other than wait. I think it’ll go fine, but I kind of wish there was something I could do to help Mom feel better. Right now, she’s knee-deep in confetti, making gift boxes of marshmallows for the farmers’ market, and she seemed to want some space.

  I’m in the bedroom with my laptop, and I should be writing. But ever since I received David’s letters, I can’t seem to write anything. I don’t think that I had ever really given up on him, but it’s been a long time, you know? Now that I’m with Mom, I have a new routine, a new life. It’s a lot like my high school life (unfortunately), but things have actually been going pretty well lately, now that I actually have time to myself again.