Three Is Just Enough

by Jon Keys

  “Well, that’s a mood killer.”

  Cole chuckled. “Yeah, pretty much.” They heard voices rising from the first floor. “We better hurry. I don’t want Tara’s dad to come for us.”

  They finished dressing and rushed down the stairs. When they rounded the corner, the scene that greeted them was as if they’d entered a Christmas card. The entire family was dressed alike. The tiny tableau played out as the Egon family stood around the tree with its bounty of gifts and lights. The chairs were all taken, so Cole and Dalton sat cross-legged on the floor, as far from Tara’s mother as possible. Everyone stared at them until they settled in. The mother glanced over the crowd with a vacant smile. “Okay, Sara,” Grace told her youngest child, “They’re here. You can go ahead. Thank you for waiting.”

  Dalton glanced at Tara. Her eye twitched slightly and he caught a flicker of a smile at her lips. He bit his tongue to keep from laughing. They sat and watched as one by one, in an exacting progression, the family opened their gifts. The majority of Tara’s gifts were clothes, which seemed to make her happy. Once the parents opened their gifts, he and Cole were given one gift each. Dalton turned his in his hand. He knew immediately what was in the small box. The foreknowledge proved helpful when he opened the package. Although he was still somewhat surprised when he pulled out a bottle of Old Spice. He smiled and met Cole’s gaze. Obviously, Cole had not worked out the content of the package before he opened his gift. His face registered more surprise. But they both looked back at the family, and smiled.

  “Thank you, I appreciate the gift,” Dalton said.

  “Yeah, me, too. Thanks,” Cole repeated, his smile not quite as convincing.

  The family sprang into action with the last present opened. Soon the room was spotless again, the new gifts having disappeared into bedrooms and closets. In short order, breakfast filled the table, followed by a swirl of activities, all aimed at Christmas dinner. Everyone nibbled on appetizers Tara and her mother made, saving room for their evening meal.

  Dalton happily anticipated Christmas dinner for one reason and one reason only. Right afterward they were going back to school. Tara and he had to work tomorrow, and Cole was on call over the holiday. He was also relieved there were no repeats of their initial confrontation with Tara’s mother. But Dalton knew she was watching them carefully. The afternoon wore on and television became their one refuge. Dalton started to relax, thinking they were going to get through the evening unscathed, when Brian began sliding his boots on.

  “Hey, Dalton, Cole. You mind helping me with an errand?”

  Dalton glanced around desperately for Tara, but she was nowhere in sight. He and Cole rose to their feet, and looked at each other. Dalton could tell from Cole’s face he had the same concerns. With more than a little trepidation, they pulled on their boots and coats. The silent trip to the grocery store loomed ominous, and the tension surrounded Dalton and Cole. They parked outside the store and followed Brian to gather the things still needed for the Currier and Ives Christmas dinner Tara’s mother had planned.

  Dalton grabbed a shopping cart and stepped behind Brian. He and Cole followed silently, curious, with a liberal seasoning of worry. They stood quietly for several minutes as Brian studied different bottles of wine. He finally chose one and set it carefully among the scattering of items in the shopping basket. His fingers wrapped around the handle and he slowly scratched his beard. The silence built into a dread Dalton could barely tolerate.

  “What’s the deal with you two and Tara?”

  A knot formed in Dalton’s throat and he fought to speak, but words choked him. Cole began to talk, at a pitch higher than Dalton had ever heard from his boyfriend. “Roommates, sir.”

  He scowled at the pair. “Do you really think I believe that?”

  “No, sir. I mean yes, sir.” Cole stopped talking and looked at Dalton with panic on his face.

  Dalton swallowed hard, then managed to talk. “We are Tara’s roommates. That’s the truth.”

  “But that’s not all.”

  Dalton looked at Cole, who froze in an expression of sheer terror. Tara’s mom said he had a gun. Does he have the damn thing now? “Do you have a gun?”

  Brian looked startled. “A gun? Yeah, I have one. It’s a hunting rifle.”

  “So…” Dalton lifted his eyebrows.

  Brian looked at them for a few moments, then started to chuckle. “What the hell did Grace tell you two?”

  “Let’s just say we don’t want you pissed off at us.”

  “Boys, I’m not sure what’s going on. But my house has been all fucked up since I got back with the kids, and nobody’s telling me what’s going on. I’m not going to hurt anybody.”

  “Your wife seemed to think the truth would upset you…a lot,” Dalton said.

  “Why don’t you try me? I’m not my wife—she has some views I don’t share.”

  “Okay. Well.” He looked at Cole again, who nodded and stepped beside Dalton. “We’re Tara’s boyfriends.”

  “Both of you?”

  “Yes.”

  He looked at them for a minute and Cole moved slightly in front of Dalton. “And to each other?”

  Dalton and Cole exchanged a look. “We’re each other’s boyfriends, too. We’re both bi. Bisexual.”

  Tara’s dad stood looking first at one and then the other of the pair, his face carefully neutral, Dalton had no clue what was going through his mind. He could clearly hear the beeps of the registers, the hum of the lights and even Cole’s breath as he waited for a response.

  “Don’t hurt my baby.”

  Dalton and Cole exchanged confused looks. Then they looked back at Brian. “No, we’d never hurt Tara. We love her.”

  The silence descended on them again. This time the tension buckled under soft laughter. “I guess that would mean fewer nights with headaches.”

  It took Dalton a moment to understand the comment, and when he did the heat traveled up his face. A slight choking sound came from Cole. Dalton looked over to see Cole’s bright red face. He looked back at Brian to see how he was handling the news he and Cole had shared. Shock rocked Dalton to his heels when he found a gently chuckling giant standing beside them. Cole looked at him with his face twisted in disbelief.

  “We thought you were going to lose it on our asses,” Cole said.

  “No, why would I? So long as you’re treating my girl with respect, then you’ve got no beef with me.”

  “But—” Dalton started.

  “Grace?”

  Both Cole and Dalton nodded.

  “Grace is a great mother. She takes care of everything and everyone. But she has some odd ideas.”

  “I thought you were going to kill us,” Dalton blurted out.

  “Good Lord! Why would you think that? No. Never mind, I know why. I’m not going to kill anyone. Tara is of age. Lord knows I did some things crazier than loving two people in my day.” He paused and cocked an eyebrow at the boys. “But you hurt her, and you’ll find out how redneck I can turn when someone messes with my family.”

  “No, like we said, we’d never hurt Tara.”

  “Then you’ve got no beef with me. I doubt there’s much I can do about Grace. Come on, we gotta finish the list and get back or I’ll catch hell from her.”

  The rest of the day went by without a problem and soon they had packed Tara’s car with everything, including her boxes of new clothing. Goodbyes were tense with her mother, but Brian’s hugs and handshakes were warm and genuine. They’d barely made it to the corner when Tara asked.

  “What happened with Dad?”

  “Your dad asked about us,” Dalton said.

  “Oh crap. What did you tell him?”

  “The truth, that we were all three in a relationship.”

  “What happened?”

  Cole snickered. “I think he said if we hurt his baby he’ll have our balls to hang from his rearview mirror.”

  Dalton grinned
and enjoyed the relief as the last of the tension seeped from his body. “Something to that effect.”

  “So he’s not mad?”

  “Nope, he said he’s done worse things at our age than loving two people.”

  Tara looked at them both, then after a few minutes she collapsed against the seat. “Wow.”

  Cole fidgeted in the seat for a few moments and kept checking out the back of the car. Tara noticed his apparent distress and patted his arm.

  “What’s wrong, Cole.”

  “Really? Did she seriously do it?”

  Dalton shook his head in confusion. “Who did what?”

  “Tara’s mom. No leftovers? Not even a little pie?” Cole looked like a little boy who’d had his candy taken away.

  Dalton and Tara started laughing until the last traces of their somber trip were gone. Tara glanced into the rearview mirror.

  “Open the box Dad handed you. I have a feeling…”

  Cole popped open the box and found a cache of enough food to take them through the next few days. He grabbed a roll from one of the storage bags and started eating.

  “I really like your dad!” Cole said.

  Chapter Ten

  “Are you sure about this?” Dalton worried they were about to piss Tara off again.

  “Hell, yes. She’s turning twenty-one today. We have to have some kind of party for her.” Cole grinned and held up two bottles of wine. “We have to get her rip roaring drunk!”

  Dalton shook his head and cocked an eyebrow. “Are you sure? I don’t know about getting Tara drunk.”

  Cole slapped a bear paw sized hand behind Dalton’s neck and shook him good naturedly. “Relax, Dalt. Everyone gets plastered when they turn twenty one.”

  “I dunno, Cole.”

  Cole tossed him a roll of crepe paper and some tape. “Quit worryin’ and start hangin’ paper. We need to start dinner pretty quick.”

  Dalton nodded, grabbed a ladder and focused on the work. The textured paper always brought back memories from parties over the years. Before long he was hanging the streamers and whistling as he went along. Cole walked behind him to look at the work and started chuckling.

  Dalton stepped down from the ladder and walked beside Cole to see what was so funny. He looked for a moment, then began chuckling. In front of them was a perfect rainbow trailing from one corner to another from crepe paper.

  “Okay, so apparently I’ve embraced the rainbow,” Dalton said.

  Cole continued to chuckle while he shook his head. “You have, that’s for sure. Let’s start dinner.”

  Dalton cleaned up the bits of paper and wrapping, then followed Cole into the kitchen. Cole began putting the food out on the counter. After a few moments, Dalton started rifling through the packages, bags and boxes.

  “What in the world are you planning?” Dalton asked, feeling anxiety begin to filter back into his system.

  “A picnic, what else?”

  Dalton stared out the window at the snow whipping through the trees just outside the panes of glass. After a minute or so, he turned back to Cole. “You know it’s winter. Right?”

  Cole dumped a bag of large potatoes into the sink and started washing them. “Sure, I know what it’s like outside. But a summer picnic is Tara’s favorite meal. So, we’re having fried chicken, potato salad and baked beans. Then for dessert we have brownies and—” he winked at Dalton. “Snow ice cream.”

  “Snow ice cream?”

  “Yup, you’ll see.”

  They set to work and soon had a pot of cubed potatoes boiling with chicken frying in the skillet and the beans in the oven. Cole turned the chicken as it approached a golden brown. Dalton stood beside Cole for a moment, then leaned in to look at the cooking food. “You know, this is the most unhealthy meal I’ve ever seen you make.”

  Cole grabbed Dalton by the collar and pulled him away from the food. “It’s not every day our girlfriend turns twenty-one. It’s worth a little splurge.”

  Dalton picked a bit of the crispy crust from the chicken and popped it in his mouth. He savored the bit of food as a slight spice filled his mouth. Cole grinned and grabbed at Dalton’s hand as he tried for a second bit of crush.

  “Keep out of the food. What, were you raised in a barn?”

  Dalton grinned as he popped the second bit into his mouth. “I think you have me confused with you. You’re the big flannel wearing Yupper.”

  “Nope, I’m from Minnesota, the UP is in Michigan. You missed by a couple of states.”

  “Whatever. You want some help?”

  “Sure, put the plates and stuff on the table. We need to chill the white wine. I invited Avery, too, so she’ll need everything, too.”

  The pair set to work, relaxed and enjoying each other’s company. Soon Cole had the chicken cooked and staying warm on the back of the stove while Dalton made the potato salad. They were putting the finishing touched on the meal when the door opened and Tara walked through, closely followed by Avery.

  “Hey! Perfect timing,” Cole said.

  The girls shed their heavy winter coat and snow boots at the door. Sauntering over, they looked at the dishes of food. Tara squealed and grabbed first Cole and then Dalton in a big hug and a kiss. “It’s perfect. And looks delicious.”

  Cole and Dalton pulled back chairs for the girls and then seated themselves. Cole grinned at Tara as he popped the cork from the bottle of wine and started filling glasses. He grinned and winked at Dalton as he poured him a glass. “You won’t tell anyone I’m corrupting a minor will you?”

  “You dumbass, I’m not a minor, or your big hairy ass would be in all kinds of trouble.”

  Cole chuckled and raised his glass. “To my love on her twenty-first birthday.”

  “To Tara!”

  Their glasses clinked and they all drained their drinks.

  The evening was wonderful. Avery and Cole had a glass of wine each and then had stayed with tamer drinks for Avery, and a beer for Cole. But Tara and Dalton had managed to drain most of two bottles of wine. Its effect was beginning to show on both of them. They were leaning against each other giggling hysterically at something they’d found funny.

  Dalton lay upside down on the couch and looked up at Avery with a grin. “Did you know, I have sex with her,” he pointed to Tara, “and him,” he nodded toward Cole, “At the same time?”

  Avery grinned as he took another drink of her sparkling water. “I’d heard that. And how is it?”

  Dalton giggled, “It’s fanfuckintastic. It makes my toes curl for dayyyyyyssss.” Dalton giggled again and put his finger over his lips. “Shhh, it’s a big fuckin’ secret. Cause I’m a big chicken shit about tellin’ people.”

  Cole could tell Avery was enjoying this conversation. “Oh, really? What’s up with that?”

  Dalton giggled again and then wiped his mouth against his arm. He started to answer but burped and then looked at Cole with unfocused eyes. “Cole, I don’t feel so good.”

  Cole sat his beer down quickly and pulled Dalton into a fireman carry and headed for the bathroom. He’d barely cleared the door when he heard. “Oh god. I’m gonna—” and he puked down Cole’s side.

  “Ah, fuck!” Cole said as he put Dalton on his feet. Dalton dropped to his knees and emptied his stomach into the toilet as the room filled with the reek of vomit. Cole peeled off his putrid shirt and dropped it into the sink. He turned on the shower and then turned to Dalton. He helped Dalton into the glass enclosure. His clothes are so hosed that it can’t hurt them. Dalton moaned and leaned against the glass wall as the water began to wash the sour yellow scum off him. Cole watched for a minute, certain Dalton was going to be okay, then walked into the bedroom.

  He dropped his pants and pulled on a workout shirt and a pair of sweats. He checked himself to make sure there weren’t any random bits still attached to him, then headed back into the living room to check on Tara.

  He walked in just in time to see Avery
pulling her snow boots on. She looked up and smiled at Cole. “She fell asleep. I think she’s fine, though.”

  Cole glanced at Tara and disappointment washed over him. “Well, damn.”

  Avery was pulling on her coat. “What?”

  “Tonight didn’t exactly go according to plan.”

  Avery laughed. “You mean you didn’t intend to get the newbie plastered?”

  Cole grinned, feeling a little sheepish. “Well, yeah. But I didn’t know they were both such lightweights.”

  Tara started to snore softly. Avery chuckled as she pulled on her gloves. “I have a feeling both of your roomies have never had a drink before tonight.”

  “Well, shit. That blows. Now I have to wait.”

  Avery turned with a scowl on her face. “I hope I can trust you with my girl, big guy. Because if you were to do anything stupid, I’d cut off your dick.”

  Cole was startled for a moment, then realized what Avery was talking about. “Oh, hell no! That’s sick. No, I just had her present and now she’s too drunk to see it.”

  Avery grinned at Cole, her vitriol forgotten. “What’d you get her?”

  “You can’t tell her.”

  Avery flapped her hands at him. “Oh please. She won’t wake up until noon. What’d ya get?”

  Cole pulled a small box from his pocket and popped open the lid. Avery looked at the silver necklace nestled in the box and smiled. “Nice choice, stud.”

  Cole blushed slightly and studied the necklace. “A friend of mine made it for us. Dalton helped with the design. The triple hearts are the three of us.”

  Avery smirked at him. “Yeah, I got that.”

  At that instant more retching came from the bathroom. “Ah, shit. I gotta help Dalton. Thanks for coming over, Avery.”

  She waved as she walked out the door. “Have fun being nursemaid to two drunk lovers.” Her laughter followed Cole as he raced back to the bathroom to check on Dalton.

  * * * *

  “Ahhggg! Damnit!” screamed Tara in frustration.