The Z Word

by Bella Street

  Seffy watched as he returned to the card table. Eyes burning, she looked away and tried to clamp down on a new wave of depression. When she focused, she caught Trent staring at her.

  She ignored him. Jared and the other girls were arguing over which video to watch, Blazing Saddles or One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. Eva had already watched the latter and said the hospital reminded her too much of where they were staying at the moment. Cynthia wondered if the movie was filmed in Montana. Jared said duh, it was filmed in Oregon. He turned to Seffy, staring at her with a dark expression. Then he went back to perusing the back of the videocassette box.

  Okie dokie.

  Seffy looked at where Trent sat on the couch, wishing she could sit on something upholstered. He sent her a slow smile that didn't meet his narrowed eyes and patted the cushion next to him. For once he wasn't all sweaty. Still, she returned a look which said Are you joking? But she needed a place to sit until she figured out what the plan was. And he had been helpful...once. Seffy went over and eased onto the far end of the couch, still sore from her injuries.

  “Wanna make out?” Trent whispered, closing the gap between them.

  Shocked by his absurdness, Seffy couldn't help but smile a little. At least she didn't have to wonder how he felt. “You're unbelievable.”

  “So why are you here?”

  “I'm actually hoping to go to dinner with you guys.”

  “You don't get room service over there in your extra special digs?”

  She shook her head.

  Trent leaned back. “That's too bad, because we just got back from dinner.”

  “Oh.” Seffy's stomach rumbled in disappointment. She looked down at her hands. “Why didn't anyone tell me?”

  He shrugged. “Figured your boyfriend would've let you know.”

  Seffy stiffened in anger, unsure who she was more upset at—Trent or Gareth. He should have told her. “You're an idiot.”

  “No, I'm observant. Wanna hear my theories?”

  Great. First Olga, now this guy. “Not particularly.”

  He leaned close. “You see, I've been forced to find amusement in you and your friends' little soap operas.”

  “I changed my mind. I don't want to hear anything you have to say.”

  “Yes, you do.”

  When she crossed her arms over her chest, he continued.

  “Gareth usually can't take his eyes off of you, but here he is sitting next to the self-satisfied redhead, ignoring you. I wonder why?”

  “I thought you knew.”

  “Something must've happened, because trust me babe, with you in the room, there's no lookin' anywhere else.”

  Seffy felt her face heat. “Sounds like you only have conjectures.”

  “No, I think I figured it out. You don't know what it's like with a real man.”

  “'It'?” she asked, her eyes shooting sparks.

  “Well, if you have to ask, then you don't know.”

  “I don't know why I bothered talking to you.”

  “But I'm right.”

  She glared at him. “You don't know anything.”

  “So why don't you enlighten me?”

  Ignoring the intimate tone of his voice, Seffy slumped against the cushion. She glanced at the TV and saw Jared had won the movie debate. Jack Nicholson inside that dingy state hospital was a bit more than she could handle at the moment, especially when his smirk was so similar to Trent's. She got up from the couch and made her way to the door.

  “Are you leaving already?”

  Seffy turned at the sound of Gareth's voice and offered a small smile. “I guess I'm more tired than I thought.”

  He nodded and Addison waved her fingers. Seffy avoided eye contact with Trent. She plodded back to her room, her shoulders hunched and a headache crawling across her skull. Her door was unlocked...in fact she couldn't lock it. Someone must've have altered it at one time or another. She wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

  Inside her room, she curled up on the bed and gave in to a minor pity party. Apparently Gareth was now the one in denial. But despite his attitude that everything was hunky dory, she sensed that wasn't the case. Something had been missing from his eyes, from the way he looked at her. The knowledge left her feeling bereft. At least Verity wasn't here to take advantage.

  Rolling onto her back, Seffy stared up at the cracked ceiling. Verity. Los Angeles for that matter. It might as well have been a whole other solar system from where she was. Would she ever get back? Was life in 2006 going on as usual or were the ABers missed? Were there police reports filed? Was there a new receptionist at her office? Was there a new audition opportunity she was missing?

  Would she spend what was left of her youth waiting for something to happen in this awful place?

  Addison's words from the safe house came back to her, making her frown. Am I really amoral? Shuffling along through a meaningless life? And yet what have I actually accomplished in L.A? All her plans of a bright future had sunk beneath her failure to launch into the acting world. Instead, she worked at the clinic and spent the rest of her time in pursuit of a career—one of thousands, maybe millions of other hopefuls. And all she had to show for it was a shameful downfall.

  Seffy closed her weary eyes. Think about something else. While her time at the compound wasn't exactly Disneyland, at least she had a stay of execution. She couldn't fail if she couldn't try, right? Except there was that kiss with Gareth. She couldn't even get that right. Maybe she was a puppet and someone else was pulling the strings. Like those zombies. They heard music, so they danced, even though there could be nothing gained from the exercise.

  Seffy pulled her pillow over her face. I'm supposed to think of something else.

  At least she'd been spared Fiona's presence the last few days. What were she and Fenn up to? Had they contained the problem outside? Were the residents still suspicious of her and the others? Seffy groaned and rolled back onto her side. What was the point of asking inner monologue questions when there were no answers?

  Exactly.

  Seffy tried to ignore the rumbling of her empty stomach. But she found if she focused on not feeling her hunger, she was more aware of each and every one of her bruises, pulled muscles and cracked ribs. Seffy eased off the bed and went into the bathroom for some pain pills. Olga had brought up a small bottle of Tylenol. She took a couple of capsules and washed it down with a large glass of water. There. Two birds with one stone. Her stomach was no longer precisely empty and soon her aches would abate. Things were looking up.

  A light knock sounded on the door. Seffy's heart fluttered. Gareth? She hurried to the door as fast as she was able and pulled it open. Her tremulous smile faded.

  Trent.

  “What do you want?” Disappointment made her tone sharper than was necessary.

  His brows arched. “I brought you something. But I can only give it to you if you let me come in.”

  Seffy noticed he had his hands behind his back. She shrugged. At least sparring with Trent was more diverting than staring at the walls. She moved away from the door. He walked in, and after she shut the door, he held out his hands to her.

  Seffy's eyes widened at the wrapped roast beef sandwich, pie, and carton of milk. She looked up at him, eyes wide with hunger. “Is that for me?”

  Looking very pleased with himself, he nodded and handed her the food. Seffy was tempted to tear the plastic off with her teeth, but somehow made it to the desk. Trent sat in a spare chair as she unwrapped the sandwich and took a bite. Yum, yum, YUM.

  “Thank you,” she said—and realized those were the most sincere words she'd ever spoken to him.

  He leaned back in his chair. “Anytime, babe.”

  “How did you get this? Did you bring up extra from dinner?”

  Trent shook his head. “After you left, I snuck down and swiped it from the fridge.”

  “There weren't residents there? Or lunch ladies?”

  “The cafeteria was full. I just happe
ned to find a storage closet with uniforms. I put one on and simply blended in.”

  Seffy's eyes widened. “That is so dangerous. What if they discovered you?”

  He shrugged, his grin in place. “I expect they'd point and shriek like in Invasion of the Body Snatchers.”

  She shook her head. “You're crazy. But in this case, I'm grateful.”

  He leaned forward. “Don't mention it.”

  Seffy opened the carton of milk and took a drink. “Yeah, right. You'll be expecting something in return, I have no doubt.”

  Though his eyes sparkled, he said nothing. Really, he was something of a hottie when he was pleasant. Of course she'd always had a thing for cuties with mussed hair and sexy stubble. She sighed when she realized the direction of her thoughts. How desperate do I have to be to give this guy the time of day?

  Seffy finished her sandwich and started in on the pie—chocolate cream and flavorless as cafeteria pie went, but oh so satisfying. When she'd drained her milk and gobbled every crumb, she went into the bathroom to wash up. Her reflection in the mirror looked a little better. While she was all for being thin, she didn't want to usher in the heroin chic look a decade early.

  When she came out of the bathroom, she found Trent leaned back in his chair looking at ease with the world, yet Seffy knew he was one of those guys who always had an angle. She returned to the other chair and raised her brows in silent question.

  “I'm still waiting to hear what's with you and Gareth.”

  Seffy regarded him with suspicion. “What makes you think there's something up? Besides, why would you care?”

  Trent leaned forward. “I already told you how I can tell. So why no more puppy dog act?”

  She grimaced. “Puppy dog?”

  “The way he follows you around, waiting to be patted on the head after one of his manly deeds.”

  Keeping her expression blank was a struggle when she knew her face was flaming. Was it true? She didn't remember him acting that way. Was Trent trying to manipulate her? Probably. “That's an exaggeration.”

  “Okaaay.” He licked his lips. “So what do you do for fun around here?”

  “Are you joking? What's fun about being a hostage in a room with an observation window?”

  Trent saw the shuttered window. “Yikes.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, we could go find something to do.”

  Seffy stared at him. “You know we're supposed to stay here, more or less out of sight.”

  “Why? Until they decide what to do with us? Figure out what experiments to perform?'

  She fluttered her eyelashes. “Are we paranoid?”

  He snorted. “Just bored.”

  “Well, either way, I'm not up for anything strenuous.” She bit her lip the moment the words were out, knowing Trent would take them the wrong way. She held up her hand to stop him from making a lascivious comment. Just his smile was dirty enough.

  “So tell me, what did you and Jared and the girls do? In West Hollywood, I mean?”

  Trent's expression clouded a bit. Seffy realized too late he was thinking of Clay. Oops.

  “Well, we didn't know the girls until we found ourselves in the middle of nowhere Montana. Before that, Jared, Clay and I had just met.” His gray gaze was steady as if watching for her reaction. “They came to my boss looking for work and I was sounding them out over sushi.”

  She nodded, not knowing what to say about his deceased friend. “What was your job?”

  “I was a personal assistant to a film director.”

  Trent was in the Biz? “I know a few. Which one?”

  The name he said made a vein throb under her eye. Oh, my God.

  “What, you know him?”

  Seffy mashed her lips together in an effort to control herself. “I've heard of him is all.”

  Trent gave her a speculative look. “Let me guess, you were trying to break into acting.”

  “Not a very original goal in WeHo,” she said, hoping he couldn't hear the thundering of her heart.

  “Well, you end up on enough casting couches, you'll eventually find a way in. I'm sure your chance was right around the corner.”

  Seffy suppressed a furious outburst. “You have a sick mind, Trent.”

  He lifted his shoulders. “It's the way of the world, baby.”

  “Do not call me 'baby'. I hate that.”

  He grinned. “Whatever.”

  Seffy swallowed and cast about her mind for a different topic. “Did Eva and Cynthia mention what they were doing before they got here?”

  “Sleeping their way onto a soap opera while waitressing on the side.”

  She groaned inwardly. “Okay, let's talk about something else.”

  “Like I said, way of the world.”

  Seffy looked at her hands resting on the table. What were the odds the director he worked for was one of...it was beyond belief. She blushed, wondering if he guessed the direction of her thoughts.

  He jumped up. “Well, it's been real.”

  Seffy got to her feet, relieved he was leaving but dreading the boredom to come. She followed him to the door. Before he went out, he turned and leaned close.

  “If you're ever lonely, and I think you get my meaning, give me a booty call. Anytime.”

  “Gee, I'll keep that in mind.”

  He turned to go.

  “But seriously, thanks for the food.”

  “No prob. And just remember, you owe me one.”

  “What a shock.”

  He paused and puckered up his lips. “C'mon, plant one right here. No one will know but us.”

  Seffy closed the door on his face. She stood staring at the door for several seconds before shaking off his visit. Surveying the now silent room, she saw the blinds over the window. She walked over, yanked on the draw cord, and looked into the dark, empty room.

  Blowing out a skaky breath, she lowered the blinds and went to bed.

  Chapter Twenty-six

  Seffy spent the next two days lurking in the common area trying to get interested in the novels Gareth had found, or joining yet another boring card game, or just sulking in her room. While her body recovered, her self-esteem took a dive. Gareth was polite but somehow distant, while Lani and Addison received his extra attention. She'd gone backwards, forwards, and sideways, trying to figure out the state of their relationship, then settled for resignation with a spoonful of self-pity for flavor.

  Eva and Cynthia kept to themselves, always whispering and snickering, and Jared seemed happy to be in front of yet another video when he wasn't sending Seffy creepy, sidelong glances. Only Trent—when he was there—paid her any special attention, if winks, meaningful looks and salacious smiles could be counted as such. Most of the time he was gone doing who knew what, so she shouldn't complain.

  At least she was getting three squares a day. At six, eleven and four, they trooped down to the cafeteria for a quick bite while the nervous lunch ladies looked on. Echoing in the hallways were overheard conversations of the continuing zombie problem, so getting free of the compound seemed more and more of a pipe dream.

  On the fourth day after leaving the hospital bed, Seffy went back to her room after lunch and screamed into her pillow. The inactivity was making her bonkers and she just couldn't face another torrid novel or game of five card stud. She almost wished for a visit from Fiona to liven the boredom. But until she was fully recovered, she was limited to wasting time instead of making plans to escape. She went into the bathroom, noted her bruises were now faint yellow shadows, and spent a few minutes trying new hairstyles.

  When she heard a soft knock on her door, she released a ragged breath. It was too much to hope Gareth wanted to see her. She shook out her hair and went to the door. Her intuition proved correct. Trent leaned against the door jamb, probably trying to project charm, but giving off more of a stalker vibe instead.

  “I got something for ya.”

  She looked at him and wondered why he'd chosen her as his fixation. Th
ere wasn't a lick of sincerity in a word he said. He seemed to think he'd eventually wear her down based on the fact he was breathing. She had no doubt he had his share of female admirers. A lot of girls went for the scruffy, dangerous look—dumb girls who were just asking for it.

  But she was bored. Really bored.

  “Okay, I'll bite.”

  He grinned. “I always knew you would.” He held out his hand.

  Seffy stared in wonder. “A Snickers bar? How did you get this?”

  “Come with me and find out.”

  She regarded him for a moment, then shook her head. “No way. Remember I've been shot at for being 'one of them'.”

  Trent tucked the candy bar back in his pocket.

  “Hey! You said that was for me!”

  “You sneered at my offering and I'm offended.”

  She snorted and put out her hand.

  He leaned close. “I like your hair. Looks like you just had a tumble in bed.”

  “Gah!” Seffy shoved him and stalked away from the door.

  “Hey, I'm just sayin'.”

  “Go be nasty to someone else.”

  Trent came up behind her, standing so close she could feel his body heat. “There's not only Snickers, but Hershey's, Butterfingers, M&Ms, Starburst, Good and Fruity...”

  Seffy's mouth began to water. Their diet consisted of mostly cold food—cereal, sandwiches, Jell-O, so much Jell-O sometimes she thought she was really in Utah. But out and out candy, oh it had been a long time.

  “It's all there for the taking,” he pressed.

  She turned and looked up at him. “You mean it's not in a vending machine?”

  He shook his head. “It's in their pantry. Just stacked in boxes on a shelf.”

  “So you're not only a sneak, but also a thief?”

  He chucked her chin. “Just a thief of hearts, baby.”

  Seffy slapped his hand away. “Gross. I liked you better when you wanted me dead.”

  “I suppose I overreacted a little back then.”

  She arched her brows. "Yeah, what was up with that?"

  His cocky smile slipped. “Never mind about that. Just tell me if you're in.”

  Seffy scowled at him for a minute which eased her smarting conscience. After being given food, shelter and medical care, she knew it would be selfish to abuse the compound's hospitality. But there were Starbursts at stake. The glands inside her mouth began squirting. And everything inside screamed to do something—even it was to steal candy. For a split second she considered the depths to which she had fallen. “Okay, but I can't go far. My ankle and ribs are still pretty sore.”