My Dusk My Dawn

by Henrietta Georgia

  “Choose Hapkido and you’ve got yourself a live-in sparring partner.”

  I couldn’t hide my surprise. “Really?”

  “Yes, really,” he replied, leaning in to give me a kiss on the cheek. “There’s still a lot you don’t know about me.”

  Shania interrupted. “So you two are saving it all for marriage?”

  Daniel turned and looked at me, as though he were shocked Shania and I had talked about something so intimate. Before either of us got the chance to reply, Shania stated, “It won’t last. Either you’ll give in, or marriage will happen. Like any day now. Mark my words y’all.”

  I rolled my eyes again and Daniel laughed. “You know Shania, you’re alright,” he said. “She’s alright by me!” he exclaimed, turning to me, grinning from ear to ear.

  Two of my favorite people got along, and that felt good. I was going to marry him some day. I knew that much. No one made me feel the way he did. No one ever could.

  At the recreational center, Shania gravitated towards Taekwondo, while I hesitated. I suddenly felt like retreating, despite having looked forward to the evening. Johnny, the fencing instructor sensed my hesitation. “How about fencing?” he asked. In complete fencing attire, his demeanour commanded respect and revere. He stood several feet tall, had piercing blue eyes, auburn brown hair and a sharp but kind face. He didn’t wait for me to respond. Instead, he motioned for me to follow him. I did. Moments later, vest on, helmet on and French foil in hand, fencing became the clear choice.

  Class ended too quickly. As I changed out of my gear, I silently resolved to get my own – I felt drawn to fencing, and knew it would be the beginning of a lifelong love of the sport.

  Commotion jolted me out of my thoughts as I tried to locate Shania.

  “You could’ve fuckin’ told me you’d be hangin’ out here, you don’t do Tuesdays,” a woman yelled.

  “Calm down,” Johnny argued. “I’m here to let off steam. I don’t need you policing me.”

  A few of the class stopped what they were doing to listen in on the argument.

  “This isn’t the time or the place,” Johnny told her.

  She carried on. “Don’t expect me to be waitin’ up on you or prepping you dinner if you can’t even tell me what time you’re getting back.”

  “It’s not as if you cook for me anyway,” he replied.

  She cast him a dirty look then walked off and out of the studio door in a huff.

  Johnny stood there, forlorn but for a moment, before shaking it off and announcing to the class, “Right. Show’s over, class is over, I’ll be seeing you all next week, unless you’re coming in on Friday too.”

  In the distance, Shania was speaking with someone so I stayed behind to talk to Johnny about the possibility of continuing on with fencing beyond tonight.

  “Sorry you had to witness that,” he mentioned, embarrassed about his other half’s behavior. I barely flinched. I wasn’t a stranger to that sort of behavior, it was reminiscent of Duayne’s behavior.

  “You shouldn’t let her get away with talkin’ to you like that,” I offered.

  Johnny stood there for a mediative moment before replying, “After everything I’ve put her through I can take a little anger. I can take a little frustration.”

  “Sounded like it was more than just a little anger and frustration.”

  He shrugged in response. “You shouldn’t let her talk to you like that,” I repeated.

  He paused for a moment before responding, “Look, I’ve known Michaela for a long time, she’s put up with me and I’m just grateful she’s in my life.”

  “Sounds like you love her deeply and she barely tolerates you,” I said.

  Johnny didn’t deny this. He simply agreed and nodded his head in response.

  “Her tolerating me – it’s a kind of love,” he said.

  I shook my head in dissent, wishing he knew he deserved better. The love he thought he had was no kind of love worth having. If you say so, I thought, knowing it was not love pure and unadulterated, it was a twisted perception of love. No one deserved to be treated like that. I thought of Maya Angelou’s Some Kind of Love, Some Say and knew how hard it was to see the situation for what it was, when you were in it. How hard it was to discern between love and hate. Until it was too late, that is.

  Changing topic he asked, “So, see you next Tuesday? Really good to see you givin’ it a go and getting’ the confidence up to learn something new. Good parry of six and four. Great lunge.”

  “Thanks,” I replied, chuffed to hear I wasn’t completely hopeless at the first try.

  He nodded in reply, wiping a bead of sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. His hair, a rich auburn brown, was all spiked up in places and slick in others courtesy of a generous amount of hair gel.

  “Next week we’ll do some more footwork and we’ll work on your parry of eight,” he promised. “Alright?”

  “Alright,” I replied. Curious, I asked, “What part of England are you from?”

  “Surrey,” he replied. “Guildford.”

  I didn’t even try to hide my surprise. “Guildford? I know that town pretty well. I went to uni there.”

  “Really!” he exclaimed. “Guildford Uni? What major and what year?”

  “L.L.B. Class of ’02.”

  “L.L.B. Class of ’01,” he said. “What are the odds!!!”

  “What are the odds indeed!” I concurred, smiling wildly. “I don’t remember seeing you on campus though,” I recalled.

  “I don’t recall seeing you either,” he mentioned.

  “Probably because you weren’t actually on campus?”

  “Ha ha, funny that,” he said. “I don’t know how any of us got through uni,” he laughed. “Some pretty wild nights there.”

  “Work hard, play even harder,” we said and laughed in unison.

  “Wasn’t it your year that was implicated in burning down the medical research labs?” I asked.

  “What was that?” he asked, feigning innocence.

  “Your year. You lot…”

  He laughed in response. “As far as I’m aware…,” he started.

  “What a dodge!”

  “What an artful dodge, you mean,” he corrected.

  We laughed together a little too loudly, causing Shania to turn sharply in our direction.

  Calming down, he mentioned, “Guildford’s home for me. Well, it was, before I came here.”

  “What brought you here?”

  He hesitated for a moment before replying. “Work.”

  “I see,” I replied. “Shania mentioned you’re working locally now?”

  “That I am,” he stated. “I worked in crime before coming here. Just passed the Texan Bar Exam, so I’m hoping to get started on my own here. That’s if they’ll let me.”

  “If they’ll let you?” I asked.

  The look on his face showed he’d said too much. “That’s another story for another day,” he stated, conveniently drawing our conversation to a close. “Great to meet you.”

  “And you,” I replied. “We should all get together sometime,” I suggested, thinking Daniel might be able to throw some work his way. “Daniel, my other half has a firm specializing in crime, he might be keen on getting you to do a bit of work for him.”

  He smiled in response. “With your persuasion of course,” he joked.

  “I’ll let your background speak for you. Though, Class of ’01 Guildford, that speaks volumes.”

  “Yeah right,” he laughed. “I did graduate with Honors though, if that means anything.”

  “It means everything. I’ll talk to Daniel,” I told him. “If it’s a character and fitness issue, I can help with submissions.”

  He fell silent for a moment, before stating, “Alright, sounds like a plan. I’m here 3 nights a week, alternate evenings from 6 pm onwards. You know where to find me.”

  “Great,” I replied. “See you next week,” I told him, excited, and eager to get back home to Da
niel. The possibility of helping someone out always thrilled me.

  “See you then!” he said, raising his fist in the rhythmic left and right wrist swoosh that was recognizable only to Guildford graduates. It had been many years since I’d done it, but I did it back, laughing in the process. “Guildford rocks,” he announced, throwing me a salute as I headed off, light-spirited. Shania was waiting for me.

  Daniel was keen to hear about my night fencing. I filled him in on all the new moves I’d learnt. That aside, I mentioned Johnny in the context of his being a lawyer, and that he’d recently passed the Texan Bar, but needed to get over the hurdle of getting his license.

  “Seems like he’s having issues getting his license here.”

  “What kind of issues is he having?” Daniel asked.

  “I didn’t ask outright, but it’s likely a character and fitness issue.”

  “Oh, okay,” he said, pensively. “You’d vouch for him, on the basis of having met him only once?”

  “He went to Guildford…”

  Daniel smiled for a moment before stating, “Apart from that.”

  “Well, if he’s got his papers from the UK, he’s still licensed as a solicitor there, and he’s having issues here, yes, I’d vouch for him. I’ve been wrong about people – Duayne for one, but otherwise I’m a pretty good judge of character. Besides, if we can help, we should help.”

  “Fair enough,” he stated. “I’m a good judge of character too, by the way,” he added.

  “I don’t doubt that,” I replied, gently and affectionately touching his lightly stubbled chin.

  “I’m being serious,” he added. “From the instant I meet someone, I have this uncanny gift of being able to discern whether they mean harm or good. As you can see, I don’t have very many friends, but of course I’ve got you.”

  I nodded in response. “Lucky me,” I said.

  “I’m the lucky one,” he insisted, leaning in to plant a kiss on my lips.

  “So, coming back to Johnny, you think we can help?” I asked.

  “Perhaps,” he said. “If he’s got a current practicing certificate from the UK it might just be an issue of explaining the matter to the board here. That and then some.”

  “Meaning?”

  “It’s likely he’ll be waiting a while before he’s given permission to practice in this here State.”

  “Can he work with Craig, at your firm, even in paralegal capacity, until then?”

  Daniel hesitated for a moment before responding, “I don’t see why not.”

  “Awesome.” Thrilled, I hugged him. I couldn’t describe the passion and love I felt for this man, and the endless nature of his love which extended to the people I loved and cared for. I saw myself being with him forever.

  “Baby,” he said passionately, interrupting me mid thought. “I’ve set the bath for you, got a glass of red ready for you. We could watch a movie after dinner, and call it a night?”

  I smiled in response. Any excuse to hold me in his arms, I thought. We slept in separate rooms, so watching a movie and falling asleep in each other’s arms was a form of intimacy we’d both come to love and crave. We’d become inseparable. He for I and I for him.

  The days of that week came and went, and before long the weekend had arrived. I woke up Saturday morning to a dozen primroses on the dressing table. Adorned in pink ribbon and a long vase, the arrangement was breathtaking. A handwritten note on the dresser stated:

  Temwani,

  Thank you for giving me something to look forward

  to each morning I rise. I won’t go back to living without you.

  Love,

  Daniel.

  P.s. Primroses = I can’t live without you

  Love. I felt my heart fill with joy. Daniel had a habit of waking up at 3 am and staying awake. He’d either be up reading, or he’d be up watching something on the television. He must’ve brought the flowers to me in the early hours of the morning. I did not hear him come in when he did.

  I took my time in getting out of bed that morning. It was a clear morning, the skies were an auburn red which would soon blend to blue. A red breasted robin sang just beneath the window and I smiled, reflecting on how beautiful life was. I hadn’t thought much about Duayne and what went down that night, and I knew I would have to at some stage, but for now, my focus was on getting back to me and to my new life with Daniel.

  A warm extended shower first thing in the morning was very alluring. I looked forward to trying the vanilla strawberry scented shower gel Daniel had picked up for me the day before. No sooner than I had gotten into the shower than Daniel rapped on the frosted glass shower door.

  “I’m heading out for a jog, I’ll be back in a few,” he said.

  “Okay,” I responded, peering around the corner to meet his face. Instead, I saw the back of him heading out.

  I was in the shower for a little while longer before I decided to come out. Grabbing the towel off the rack, I dried myself partially, before deciding to moisturize in the bedroom. Cracking open the cocoa butter lotion, the smell was heavenly to me. In privacy, I dropped my towel and worked the lotion into my skin. Brusque movement to my left startled me, and I turned to see Daniel standing there in front of me, mouth agape. I’d mistakenly thought he’d already gone on his jog.

  I quickly grabbed my towel off the floor and hurriedly wrapped myself in it.

  “I thought you were out?” I managed.

  “I forgot…,” he started. “I been fixin to…I…,” then, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to…” he said, before finally uttering, “You had me looking at perfection.”

  “Good save,” I told him, embarrassed he’d just seen me naked. “Can you leave now?” I asked coolly.

  He smiled nervously before replying “Of course, my love.”

  With him gone, I hurriedly dressed up then headed down to eat something. Once done, I busied myself around my new home, dusting and wiping down surfaces before I sat down to drink some tea and read the paper. Daniel returned an hour after he’d left. He returned sweaty, his face flushed. I offered him a glass of iced water then continued reading through the paper that lay on the bench.

  “Thank you,” he said, breathless from the jog.

  “You’re very welcome,” I said, smiling a little too widely, hoping the incident earlier would be forgotten. This was not the case.

  “I’m sorry about runnin’ in on you earlier,” he apologized before awkward silence ensued.

  “You’re not really sorry,” I said in response, lifting my eyes from the paper I was pretending to be so into reading.

  “No, I guess not,” he confessed. “Truth is, your body’s bangin’, and you were a sight to behold.”

  “Thanks for the compliment, though we had an agreement, right?”

  “Am I not allowed to admire?” he asked.

  “From a distance, yes, and while I’m fully clothed, yes,” I told him.

  “Well, I’m hoping one day I’ll get to enjoy you,” he said confidently. “And I ain’t talkin’ about that happenin’ outside of marriage.”

  Bold. I smiled in response. “I think you need to take a cold shower now,” I suggested.

  “You got that right,” he said, winking at me as he headed off for one.

  Daniel looked handsome in a plain white polo shirt, denim blue jeans and brown chinos over the usual cowboy boots. My heart skipped a beat when he flashed me a beautiful smile.

  “How about we drive into town? I’ll show you some of the places I hang out at, get us some kolaches from the Czech bakery…”

  I giggled slightly.

  “What’s so funny?” he asked.

  “Food? More food? I can’t get over how you’re always hungry.”

  “Well, maybe I need a good woman to care and cook for me more often,” he replied.

  “I hear you,” I replied. “Can’t go past those kolaches though.”

  “So, it’s a date?”

  “Date it is,” I said. Bumping into Duayne wa
s the furthest from my mind.

  “No hesitation?” he asked.

  “No,” I replied.

  “Ready to come out as my girl?” he asked, slipping a hand around my waist, and staring me up and down as though he had a new appreciation for my body.

  “Been ready for time,” I replied.

  “For time, she says!” he laughed lightheartedly. “Then let’s hit the road,” he said, his voice deep, imploring and charming. “I been ready to show you off as mine, for time.”

  I met Jolène, his mother, that afternoon. Apart from her blue eyes, I couldn’t see the resemblance between her and Daniel, which I found odd, but dismissed the thought no sooner than it had entered my mind. She was warm and welcoming, much like he was. She offered to do up a spread that evening, and though we hadn’t planned on being out the whole day, I knew how much Daniel loved his food, so of course we had to agree to have dinner. I also saw it as an opportunity to learn more about him.

  Her grand and expansive southern prairie style home was beautiful. The front porch that ran the length of the whole house, a roof with wide overhanging eaves and an interior that incorporated elements of nature added to the mystique and romantic feel of the place. She lived there alone, and had done so for many years after Daniel had moved out and on to college. As Daniel took me from room to room and showed me through every inch of the house, I wondered how she managed to keep the place spotless.

  “Mom’s a homebody,” he explained. “She enjoys the maintenance and all the little things involved in keeping this home spic and span.”

  Jolène had left one of the bedrooms in the house untouched. Wallpaper adorned with sailboats and ships, coupled with Daniel’s mobile planes, cars and trucks in a display cabinet made the room feel alive, as though he’d left there days, not decades ago.

  “This is embarrassing,” Daniel said, wanting to immediately close the door. “Mom insists on keeping this room as it is, prefers to remember me as her little boy, though I’m all grown up now as you can tell.”

  “That and for my future grandkids,” Jolène stated, listening in on our conversation. Turning to me, she asked, “You happy to stay the night?”