My Dusk My Dawn

by Henrietta Georgia

  “Well, you can expect that. You’re our star prosecutor, and when you left without notice, there were big shoes to fill. Everyone else had to work on your files, and let’s just say, not everyone can handle the heat,” he explained.

  I nodded in response.

  “I know why you disappeared,” he stated. “I found out on my own. I’m sorry I couldn’t have been there to help you,” he said, resting a hand on my hand and squeezing lightly.

  I felt my eyes well up with tears.

  “He won’t get away with this,” Jude promised.

  “I’m not filing charges against him.”

  “We can, with the police. I will pursue this, on behalf of this office.”

  “Jude…” I turned away from him, in tears. “I’ve lost so much already, I don’t need to be humiliated further.”

  “I understand your position, but…”

  “Don’t,” I warned, getting up abruptly.

  He stood up with me. “Sorry Teme, I didn’t mean to upset you like this. Please sit down,” he requested.

  I stood there for a moment, wiping tears out of my eyes with the palm of my hand, grateful I was wearing waterproof mascara. My face would be a mess otherwise.

  “I’m resigning from my role as prosecutor, today,” I told him, sitting back down.

  Shock swept across his face. “That’s a little rash, isn’t it?”

  “No, I wouldn’t say so,” I told him. “I’m tired of having to deal with the judgement, and Jensen, well, she’s unrelenting.”

  “Teme, you’re an amazing prosecutor. Don’t walk away from this. We need you. I need you,” he said.

  “You’re being dramatic, Jude,” I replied. “You’ll manage just fine without me.”

  “I’m being serious Temwani. Who am I going to call up in the middle of the night when I’m stuck on the application of a point of law?”

  “You’ll get by, Jude,” I assured him.

  “I’ll be missing you,” he declared. “I am after all, your work husband. This being said, I expressly forbid you from doing anything to break up this here union of ours.”

  I laughed lightheartedly in response. Jude adored me, and had taken pains to let me know over the years, just how he felt. Still, we were just friends, and would always be just friends.

  “Jude, I’ll miss you too. I’m only a phone call away though,” I reminded him.

  “True, but we both know how these things work. The calls will get fewer and fewer in between, until they are no more,” he predicted.

  “I won’t let that happen,” I told him.

  “I’ll hold you to it,” he said, leaning back into the armchair. “Ernesto will be cut.”

  “He knew my plans before I even said anything. He thinks I’ll be back in no time.”

  “Well, I hope he’s right,” Jude stated. “So, when’s your last day?”

  “Today.”

  “Whoa. That’s too soon.”

  “It couldn’t be soon enough for me,” I told him.

  He stroked his chin anxiously. “Surely things can’t be that bad?”

  “You don’t know what it’s like, Jude. It feels like I’m public enemy number one around here. Me changing my name to Brennan hasn’t helped none.”

  “Oh, that,” Jude replied, his eyes narrowing. “He upset a few people around here as a defense attorney.”

  “Sounds to me like he was just doing his job. If we don’t have enough evidence to convict, we shouldn’t be wasting any time or resources pursuing matters and seeking to prosecute,” I said sharply.

  “Understood, but it’s complicated. You haven’t seen the files,” he rationalized. “He’s suspended for a reason.”

  I raised a brow in response.

  “Anyway.”

  “Anyway,” I replied.

  “Are you pregnant?” Jude asked all of a sudden.

  I couldn’t hide my shock.

  “You’ve got that glow about you, and all this rash decision making’s gotta be coming from somewhere else.”

  I was a few days late with my period, but didn’t consider it to be unusual. I’d put the lateness down to stress.

  “I’ve seen you two together. I’d say you’d get pregnant just by looking at each other.”

  “Jude.” I rolled my eyes in response.

  “Okay, I’ll give it a rest,” he promised. “I just think you need to rethink leaving. Maybe just take time off and come back when you’re ready to.”

  “Jensen will just love that,” I said sarcastically. “I’ve had just about all the time off I can take.”

  “I hear you,” Jude said sadly. “I’ll miss you terribly if you leave for good though.”

  I leaned in to hug him, and we held each other for a moment.

  “So, if you’re not pregnant, let’s have a few drinks afterwards?”

  I nodded in response. Being pregnant was a possibility not a probability. “Okay.”

  “Good,” he said, somewhat satisfied. “So, you’ve had a look at my file?” he asked. “What do you make of it.”

  “It’s a bit of a worry,” I stated. “Vigilante justice?”

  “Certainly seems that way.”

  “Have you seen the lighter?” I asked.

  “I have.”

  “Mention was made of a symbol on the Zippo lighter. Anything of note?”

  “I didn’t get a chance to look at it in detail, Murph was all up in my face about staying out of the evidence room, and looking at the photos instead. The symbol’s unclear from the photo, but when I looked at it in the evidence room, it’s a 3D hologram image of a sundial.”

  “A sundial? Strange.”

  “That’s what I thought too. Except this sundial is exactly like the one near London Bridge,” he said, taking out his mobile phone to scroll through some photos. “Here. This one.”

  I agreed with him, and pondered on the significance of it.

  “So, perhaps there’s some link to London?” he conjectured.

  “Hm… but do you think it would’ve been left there intentionally?”

  “No,” he said abruptly. “Not intentionally. Whoever it was, they got careless, I think.” Closing the file, he stated, “Let’s do this. Pregnancy test, drinks and food. In that order.”

  “You’re not letting this go, are you?” I asked, referring to his hunch that I was pregnant.

  “You know me, Teme, once I get an idea, I’ll run with it and see it through. So chop chop, let’s get going.”

  I sighed in response. I needed to call Daniel and let him know I’d be running late, but first I needed to draft my resignation letter.

  Jude was still in my office when I rang Daniel up.

  “Howdy,” he answered. “What’s up?”

  “I’ll be a little delayed coming home tonight.”

  “Oh?”

  “Just having drinks with a friend,” I told him.

  “What’s the occasion?” he asked.

  “Do I need an occasion?” I snapped.

  Silence met me on the other end of the line. “Just asking,” he said after a pregnant pause.

  “I’m handing in my resignation in a few,” I told him.

  More silence ensued, then, “Is this something we can talk about before you do?”

  “No,” I told him.

  “I think we should talk about this,” Daniel insisted.

  “Look. I’ve made up my mind. It’s my career, my life.”

  “Our life, you mean,” he interjected.

  “Whatever.”

  Another pause before he replied, “Okay, let me know where you’ll be, and when you’ll be done, and I’ll be there to take you home.”

  “Thank you baby,” I said, almost in tears.

  “We’ll get through this,” he stated. “You and I,” he added, for extra emphasis. “See you then, baby. Love you.”

  “I love you too,” I replied, ending the call.

  “All good,” I said, placing my mobile back on the table and turning
to Jude.

  “Good,” he replied. “So, first stop, the pharmacy or wherever else it is you can pick up a pregnancy test.”

  “Jude, that’s pretty presumptuous of you.”

  “Not at all,” he replied. “I’m just looking out for you. Don’t want you drinking while you’re pregnant,” he explained. “Besides, if you’re pregnant now, and you hand in your resignation now, you’ll forfeit all that time you’ve built up to specifically allow for you to take maternity leave.”

  The thought hadn’t crossed my mind, mainly because pregnancy hadn’t crossed my mind. Up until Jude had mentioned it.

  “It’d look pretty strange if I went to the shops to get something like that on my own.”

  “Jude, quit it please.”

  “I’m being serious Teme. No drinks tonight unless you do. I tell you, you are.”

  I did a quick once over of my office. Everything I had would fit into a small box.

  “When do you plan on telling Jensen?”

  “I’m emailing her now,” I said nonchalantly.

  Jude arched forward in his chair and slipped off his glasses. “You can’t be serious!”

  “I’m dead serious.”

  “Okay,” he said, standing up. “I’ll be back in a few. I’ll help you pack when I’m back,” he offered.

  Jude came back with some Boules de Berlin, some flavored mineral water, and three different pregnancy tests.

  “Go on then,” he urged.

  “Jensen first,” I replied.

  “You’re so stubborn, Temwani.”

  “You’re so persistent, Jude.

  “You do know how babies are made, don’t you?” he asked.

  “Of course I do, Jude! What kind of a silly question is that!” I exclaimed.

  “Well, you’re either trying for a baby or you’re not, right?”

  “It isn’t that simple. If you must know, we use protection all the time but there have been a few accidents if you know what I mean. He’s very well endowed. Anyway, neither one of us believes in the morning after pill so…” I explained.

  “Right,” he replied, getting the picture. “Go on then, find out now. The sooner you know the better off I’d be…”

  “Hm… The better off you’d be? How’d you figure that?”

  “I find out whether you’re definitely staying or whether you’re going. Just do the test now, will you?”

  “Okay,” I replied, clicking the send button on my email to Jensen, then slipping the tests into my handbag and heading for the toilet.

  A pale pink line shone on one test, a deep blue line on the other, and the word “Pregnant” appeared on the final test. Pregnant was the last thing I’d expected to be, but I quietly felt excited over the fact that I was carrying Daniel’s baby. Having said that, I was also shocked. Jude had been right. Shooting off that email to Jensen just then and there might not have been the best thing to do. Daniel was suspended pending finalization of investigations, and it wasn’t clear how well his private investigations business was doing. The fifty thousand dollars he’d received from saving me was slowly running out. Leaving work at that time may not have been the right thing to do. This said, I wasn’t certain I could last a few more months, let alone weeks and days in the District Attorney’s office. Me being pregnant would not change my feeling. I had to leave.

  The look on my face would have said it all. “I knew it!” Jude said, pumping a fist in the air, before offering an over enthusiastic congratulations. “So, you get to stay, right?”

  I shook my head in response. “I’ve already sent through my resignation letter. I’m leaving.”

  He swore under his breath. “Come on Teme!”

  “Jude, I planned to leave anyhow. Nothing and no one can convince me to stay at this stage.”

  “Shame I couldn’t convince you to stay,” he replied. “On my own, I’ll be like Starsky without Hutch.”

  I giggled in reply. “Don’t be so dramatic Jude. You’ll be fine without me here.”

  “Clyde without Bonney.”

  “Jude.”

  “Mulder without Scully,” he said.

  “Jude!”

  He smiled in earnest, and spoke with a tinge of sadness. “You get the picture, right? I’ll be lost without you here.”

  “Jude, you’ll manage fine without me here.”

  “So the divorce is final,” he stated. My heart sunk at the mention of the word divorce.

  “What are you talking about?” I asked.

  “There’s no turning back now, our divorce is final right?”

  “Jude, what are you on about?” I asked, organizing the files on my desk.

  “Our divorce. I have been your work husband for five years now, and I’m sad this will be ending in divorce.”

  “Jude… this isn’t the end of the world as we know it. I’m leaving work, yes, I’m not leaving you.”

  My phone rang. Jensen. I didn’t pick up.

  “She must be ropeable,” Jude conjectured.

  Not long after, a knock came on my door. Charlotte, a new intern who’d been working closely with Jensen, stood there, with a message from Jensen Almighty.

  “Jensen has asked that you make your office available by the end of the week.”

  Jude didn’t hide his displeasure. “Bloody ’ell.”

  “Tell her the office will be available tomorrow,” I retorted.

  Jude gasped out loud. “For goodness sakes Teme.”

  “Everything I need to take with me will fit into a small box,” I told him. “In fact, tell her I’ll give the keys back to security before I leave today.”

  Charlotte stood there for a while longer than she needed to as though to say, Don’t shoot the messenger. Nervously wrapping her blond hair around a finger before tucking it behind her ear, she stated, “Okay. I tell her.” A day with Jensen was all it took, I thought to myself. She looked worn out and worn down.

  “How about you join us for drinks?” Jude proposed, breaking the ice.

  “I’m not sure…I…” she commenced.

  “Go on, you know you want to,” Jude said, giving her a wink.

  “Okay,” she said, smiling prettily, for Jude’s benefit I was sure. “I’ll just tell Jensen…”

  “No hard feelings,” I told her. “See you in a bit.”

  When she was gone, I turned to Jude. “Forget drinks. Let’s go dancing!”

  He threw his head back in laughter. “You’re something else Teme and I love you for it.”

  My office was packed up in no time, and by the end of the evening, Jude had self-appointed himself Godfather of the child I was carrying.

  Daniel seemed to be in a bit of a huff when he picked me up that evening. He wasn’t very good at hiding his displeasure.

  “You leaving the D.A.’s office, that’s a little sudden,” he stated. “We could’ve talked about this beforehand.”

  “I’m done talking about this.”

  We drove in silence.

  “How was your day?” I asked.

  “Nothing to report,” he answered abruptly.

  “Don’t give me attitude, please,” I told him.

  “Pot calling a kettle black, yes?”

  “What’s your problem, Daniel?”

  “You wouldn’t understand,” he replied.

  “Try me.”

  “Your friends at the D.A.’s office are unrelenting. They’re out for blood,” he explained.

  “So, you fight it. You know, you still haven’t told me about what happened in the first place.”

  “I thought your friends would have enlightened you by now,” he replied, somewhat angrily.

  I lost it. “My friends have been nothing but supportive of you. I’d appreciate it if you’d talk about them with a little more respect than that.”

  “Right,” Daniel replied, sharply.

  “Look. I’ve had a busy day – a difficult day, and I don’t need you adding to it.”

  “Likewise,” he replied.

>   “I don’t need this,” I told him.

  “Temwani, let’s not fight,” he requested.

  I was tired and annoyed. The moment he pulled into the driveway, I wretched the car door open and got out of the car, shocking him.

  “Come on now,” he stated, following me through the front door. “What’s the problem anyway. Time of the month?”

  I kissed my teeth in response as I threw my coat over the coat rack. “Really?”

  “Sorry babe. Slip of the tongue,” he said apologetically. “I didn’t mean to…”

  “Are you kidding me?” I questioned in disbelief. “You know what Daniel? Take your stuff and go. You’re no better than the men I’ve been with in the past.” I regretted those words the moment I’d said them.

  A flash of pain swept across his face as he registered what I’d just said. “Alright,” he said. “I’ll go.”

  “No. I’ll leave.” Without further thought, I spun around on my heels, grabbed my handbag and decided to spend a night or two at the local hotel. I would be back, just not that night.

  “Baby, don’t go,” he begged.

  “I’m out,” I told him, slipping past him and down the corridor.

  He stood there stunned, as I walked out the door. I speed dialled a taxi which arrived not long after. I planned to stay away from home for a few days and to work at depending on myself again. I was carrying his baby, but felt the need to do things alone. For the moment at least.

  8

  JUSTICE SERVED

  I checked into a hotel not far from home that night. Exhausted, I slept immediately my head touched the pillow. The next morning, I woke to a series of messages from Daniel. In my state of exhaustion, I hadn’t heard them come through the night before. I checked in with Facebook, and instantly a chat commenced. I should have disabled the chat function as I wasn’t prepared to talk to Daniel just yet.

  How are you? You’re hard to come by, he said.

  Been busy. I’m fine, thanks for asking. I replied.

  We’re still married you know, he said.

  Tell me something I don’t know, I challenged.

  Come home, he insisted. Can we take this offline? Can I call you?

  I don’t need your drama, I replied.