“So everyone here says, yet no one gave him the time of day when he was with us,” I reminded him.
“Water under the bridge, ey? We’re honoring him today,” he replied.
“Better late than never, I suppose,” I replied. The mood was stifled. Malik shifted uncomfortably, at a loss as to what to say.
A familiar figure approached. Craig.
“Why does this feel like a wake?” I asked.
“Maybe it is a wake of sorts,” he replied. Despite the issues we’d had in the lead up to Daniel’s death, his presence was reassuring.
He placed a hand on my shoulder and drew me in for a hug. “Anything I can do, let me know.”
David turned up not long after. He looked handsome in his suit, but seemed uncomfortable, as though he wanted to take it off immediately.
He greeted me with a kiss on the cheek and an embrace.
“Is it just me, or does it feel like this is just a show to save face?” David asked.
“It’s not just you. They didn’t give him the time of day when he was alive, and probably feel terrible about that now that he’s gone,” I said. We stood there for moments in silence.
“Kids are okay today?” he asked.
“They’re doing fine, though I hardly got any sleep. They were pretty restless last night,” I told him.
“You know you can call on me anytime to help out, don’t you?” he reminded me.
“I do.”
“So why don’t you?” he asked.
“I’m not trying to lead you on,” I replied.
“Hm. Leading me on, how?” he asked.
“Giving you the idea that there’s a chance for you and I when there isn’t.” I stated.
He wasn’t convinced. “I’m not sure you believe that, now do you?” he asked. “There’s nothing to stop us being together now, but ourselves.”
I looked at him squarely. He was the splitting image of Daniel, save for the scar on his face, and the more muscular tone. The look in his eyes was another difference. Where Daniel had looked at me with love and adoration, and oftentimes criticism, David looked at me with lust, longing, yearning, and admiration. When he held me, I felt I would melt in his arms. He caught me staring, and I quickly averted my gaze from him.
“Can we not talk about this now?” I requested.
“Sure,” he replied, all too willing to honour my request. “I hope it’s a consolation to you that I’m here with you, and that I’m here for you,” he stated.
“It is,” I assured him.
“Hey Davey D!” someone exclaimed loudly from behind us. I turned to see a sharp dressed lanky built man in a grey suit. The platinum blond hair and blue eyes dancing with excitement were a dead giveaway. “Me love you long time mate!” Johnny. I almost didn’t recognise him. It had been a while since we’d connected.
David laughed gregariously in response. “Hey Johnny,” he responded, and they knocked fists.
“And who is this beautiful creature?” he asked. “Or should I be saying, What is this beautiful creature?”
I laughed heartily in response.
“Joker,” David replied, laughing as well. “Of course you know Temwani, my late brother’s wife.”
“Your current or future squeeze, by the looks of it,” Johnny stated, taking my hand. “Enchantée,” he said in a strong cockney accent. “We have met before.”
Of course we had, he and Daniel were best friends, and had spent many an afternoon burning down the back streets and stirring up dust in his ’67 Pontiac. It had been a year since I’d seen him. Though he’d been in contact every so often from London, nearly a year of silence had gone between us after Daniel had left us.
David glared at him in response to his comment about me being his current or future squeeze. “We’re good friends,” he corrected.
“Yep, I buy that,” Johnny replied. “For what it’s worth, you look great together,” he said, winking at me. “Daniel would have approved.”
Quickly switching topic, David asked, “So where’s your other half, Michaela?”
“That’s a story and a half,” he replied. “I’m here on my own.”
“Hm…” David wondered aloud.
“Well, she thinks I’m using again,” he explained.
“And are you?” David enquired.
“Well, I wasn’t then, but I am now,” he confessed. “She thinks I’m still using so I may as well use.”
David shook his head. “That’s no good, man…”
“Yeah, yeah,” he said dismissively. “I don’t need to hear your criticism.”
“Well, if you let me finish, you’d see it was support,” David explained.
Johnny stood there for a moment, considering what David had said, before saying, “You know, there’s a really cool joint that’s just opened up, thought we could all check it out later.”
“Maybe,” David said, less than enthusiastically.
“I’ll be up for that,” I offered.
“Good,” Johnny stated.
I saw the displeasure in David’s eyes, so suggested instead, “Maybe we could get together at my place after this?”
Johnny glanced quickly over from me to David then to me again. “Sounds like a plan. Whatever you’d like to do, I’m down. You are after all, the guest of honour here,” Johnny reminded me. Glancing quickly at his watch, he muttered something about needing to disappear for a bit. Purposefully avoiding David’s glaring gaze, he mentioned he’d be back, before heading off.
I used the moment he was gone to question David over his response. “Why are you being so judgmental, David?”
“Not judgmental,” he argued. “I’m just worried for him, is all.”
“At least show some support.”
“I hope we’re not going to regret having him over tonight,” David said, warily. “Can I get you something else to drink?” he asked, changing topic.
“I’m fine,” I replied.
“I knew you were fine as, the moment I met you. I called it first.”
I threw my head back in laughter. “David! Back to your flirting again!”
He laughed with me before stating, “I want you to consider coming back to Australia with me. You don’t have to do this on your own. I can take care of you and the kids.”
“I don’t need you to rescue me,” I replied.
“No, I know you don’t. I’m not rescuing you. I’m being here for you. I’m continuing to be here for you. Just wanting to make it official.”
I sighed, pondering the thought. “It’s not that easy. Visas, starting my career over in a whole new place…”
“Well if you agreed to be my wife, things wouldn’t be that complicated,” he suggested.
Wife. That was such a loaded word nowadays. Daniel had gone, but I was still his wife. Here stood David suggesting I move on and become his wife. While I had thought of David and I being together some day, I hadn’t considered the prospect of us getting married. “You make it sound so easy. It isn’t,” I told him.
“It can be,” he urged. “It could be an arranged marriage of sorts. I could get you and the kids to Aus, and you could grow to love me.”
“If only it were that easy,” I stated.
“Please give it some thought,” he suggested.
“I can’t move on after Daniel,” I confessed. “I can’t move on so easily.”
“I didn’t say it’d be easy,” David explained. “I just…well I thought…,” he started. “Never mind.”
I stood there on the balcony, the cool breeze kissing my cheeks. I trembled slightly, surprised at the cool weather in the middle of summer.
David noticed. He quickly took off his suit coat and slid it around my shoulders.
“All good?” he asked, pulling me in to him for comfort.
“I wish I could say it was,” I stated, tears rolling down my face, unabated. “I feel so lost with Daniel being gone,” I confessed. “I didn’t realize how much I’d miss him until he was gone.
”
David wiped my tears with a handkerchief from his suit pocket. “I hear you,” he stated. “You and me both.”
We stood there for what seemed like an eternity. The lights over the city of Austin were beautiful.
“Come live with me in Australia. We can remember together, and I can help you forget your pain,” he stated.
“You make it sound as though you have some remedy to heal my pain,” I said.
“Perhaps I do,” he said, leaning into me. He embraced me tightly, then planted a deep kiss on my lips.
I did not resist his advances. He kissed my lips fully and wholly, his passion apparent, sending chills through my body. I kissed him back, running a hand across the nape of his neck and through his auburn well tressed locks. He sighed in pleasure, chasing my tongue with his, then stopped mid kiss. “Maybe not the best place to be intimate,” he stated, motioning towards the crowded room behind us, and through the glass doors.
I shrugged in response. He slid his hand around my waist, pulling me closer to him. It felt so good to be held, but in my heart of hearts I longed for Daniel still. Still, David was here with me, and there was no denying that it felt good to be held by him.
“I’m not expecting you to get over Daniel so easily,” he admitted. “I’m asking you to be open to the possibility of giving us a go. This has been a long time coming, you know.”
“I hear you, David.” Daniel would have wanted this anyhow, I thought to myself.
“I’m glad you do,” he said. “Daniel would have wanted this.”
The hairs on the back of my neck stood up as he stated aloud what I’d thought.
“You know I want this,” he added, tracing my lips with his finger. “I’ve wanted you for the longest time ever.”
I imagined that if this was all about sex he would satisfy his longing and be done with me. I wasn’t prepared to have that happen after Daniel. If I had to move on after Daniel, I had to be sure that it was for real, and not just for a time. It never seemed as though it was just about sex with David. He’d made that clear the first time we met, all those years ago, when we were young.
“I love you Temwani,” he suddenly declared. “I adore you,” he added. “I love everything about you.”
“That’s a tall order,” I stated.
“How so?” he questioned.
“Well, I’m not the most lovable person. Look at how many years I’ve had you chasing after me.”
He laughed in response. “Are you kidding? You’re a dream. Have you heard Jill Scott’s He loves me?”
I had.
“Well, I love you from top to bottom. I love every inch of the body that I have yet to explore. I love your mind, I love your spirit, I love your being. I love you.”
I smiled in response.
“Of course, there are the things you love that drive me around the bend, like your love of mackerel and kippers, your love of all things Peter Sellers, Geoffrey Rush and George Michael.”
“Hm, do I detect a hint of jealousy?” I asked.
“No, no, mama,” he replied in jest. “Actually, truth is I’m jealous of anything that holds your attention. I’ve been longing for so many years for you to put your attention on me,” he confessed.
Poking me gently, he stated, “Only you my dear could convince me that the jitterbug was a cool dance,” he said, taking my hand and beckoning me to dance the jitterbug. He spun me around once, and after a few dance steps, I ended up in his arms again.
I smiled and laughed, forgetting my earlier sadness. “I love you too David,” I whispered.
He squeezed me so tightly I thought I would burst.
“Our work here is done,” Craig announced, slightly below a whisper, appearing seemingly out of nowhere. I wondered what he meant.
“I’ll see you both in Australia,” he stated, thumping a fist with David and embracing me briefly.
Johnny stood nearby, fidgeting with his phone. “Yes, score!” he exclaimed. He was playing a game. “So, I’m just about done socializing here. How about we leave now?” He seemed rather restless.
“I think we leave when the guest of honour decides to leave, ey?” David stated.
“Well, I’m starving, I could meet you at yours?” Johnny suggested.
“You’re in no condition to drive, Johnny,” David pointed out.
“Driving?” Johnny questioned. “I’m not driving. Haven’t driven in months now,” he replied.
I wondered why that was. Something related to drugs or drink I concluded. David kissed his teeth in annoyance. “You either come with us now, or not at all,” he ordered.
“I think I’ll take a taxi,” Johnny replied somewhat apprehensively. “What’s the address again darlin’?” he asked, turning to me.
I handed him one of my mommy cards. He turned it over, and laughed gregariously. “Love the pink elephant!” Turning to David, he stated, “We both know the proverbial pink elephant in the room is just waiting to get out!”
Irritated and impatient, David asked, “You heading off now?”
“Yep,” Johnny replied quickly. “No need to get your panties in a twist,” he said cheekily, eyeballing David.
“Whatever,” David said under his breath, dismissively.
“See you soon darlin’,” Johnny said, turning to me. With a quick peck on the cheek and a wave, he headed off.
Not a moment after he had walked away, David asked, “Is this all about him and what he needs now, or this about me? Are you trying to avoid me?”
“Avoid you how?” I asked, feigning non-comprehension.
“I’ve just asked you to start your life anew with me in Australia, you haven’t given me an answer, and you’re going out of your way to be hospitable to Johnny - even inviting him over,” he explained. “What’s the deal?”
“David, he looks like he’s down on his luck. He’s smiling and joking around, but I feel he’s in a bad way. Besides, Daniel would have wanted this,” I added. “You remember how close they were in the end. What do you have against him anyway – I thought you two grew up together?”
“Nothing I want to talk about right now,” he replied, not doing a very good job of hiding his disdain for Johnny. “And yes, we did grow up together. But right now I’m just trying to keep you from harm.”
“Oh?” I queried. The same old excuse that Daniel used to use.
“You wanted to say something?” he asked.
“No,” I lied, a little unnerved that he could see through me to the point he almost heard me.
“Okay,” he replied, unconvinced. “Look, we still have a moment or so before he gets to your place. How about we leave now that way we have some time together before he gets there?”
I smiled. “Sounds like a plan, though when are we not together these days?”
“True,” he replied. “Though being with you now will be a whole lot different than it’s been lately,” he replied. “What with us being an official item now.”
He was right, though I hoped we wouldn’t lose our friendship, I found myself looking forward to exploring a relationship with him on another level. At the same time, I also found myself wondering whether moving on after Daniel would ever be possible.
“I’ll drop you off, then head out, change and get a few things for the night,” he mentioned.
When we got to the house, all was still. Sadie sat on the couch watching something on Netflix. I peeped into the twins’ bedroom. They were both sound asleep.
“Thanks Sadie,” I said, grateful she was in my life. The kids adored her, and her presence was a constant to us all. She was there without judgment and without demand. She stood up, gathering her belongings.
“You can stay, or you can hang around for as long as you want to,” I assured her.
“I’ll leave at the end of this,” she promised, motioning towards the movie which was on pause.
“Great,” I replied. “I’ll be in the study,” I advised. “David will be coming back soon, so will Johnny.
”
“Johnny?” she asked, surprised. She hadn’t seen him for as long as I had. “Alright, I’ll let them know where you are.”
David was over not long after. I heard him drop his overnight bag then hang his coat on the rack by the door. Shoes off, he sauntered into the reading room, where I sat on the lounge, gazing out at the moonlit sky. Daniel had loved looking at the stars, and this was one habit I was not able to break now he was gone.
“Hey David,” I greeted him, sitting back from the telescope.
“Hey,” he replied, making his way over to me on the lounge. “You know, at any given time, you could see shooting stars in the night sky, where I grew up,” he recalled. “Not long after we met, I used to climb up on the roof and just lie there, looking up at the stars, wondering where you were.” Nostalgically, he added, “The moment I heard you were gone, I resolved to find you. I didn’t know if I could, but I resolved to try,” he remembered. “I dreamed of the day we would both look up at the night sky and know we were finally together again. And here we are,” he said, his words warming my heart.
I was distracted by some noise outside. Equally alarmed, David stood up to investigate. “Probably Johnny,” he predicted. He was right. Johnny appeared out of the darkness and by the study’s sliding door.
“Anything to eat?” Johnny said a little too loudly.
“I can do up an omelette or eggs benedict?” I offered.
“Sounds awesome,” he replied. “I did get something to eat, but that was ages ago.”
“You mean, an hour ago, right?” David’s continued displeasure at Johnny’s presence was unnerving and quite apparent.
“Yep, Doctor Cranky Pants,” Johnny replied to David’s displeasure, causing him to frown. I held back laughter.
Johnny said he’d be off to the toilet so left us momentarily. I confronted David immediately.
“David, what’s your deal!”
“I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news but once an addict, always an addict,” he stated.
I cut him off. “Pretty unfair, don’t you think?”
“He’s clearly high,” he replied.
“That may be the case, but don’t you feel he needs our help?”
“He needs help, that’s for sure,” he replied. “I don’t think it’s something you or I should be getting into.”
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