My Dusk My Dawn

by Henrietta Georgia

  “Babies are fine. Heart rates steady,” he said. “No more early morning jogs alone,” he said.

  “Where is he!” I exclaimed impatiently.

  “You’ll see him when you settle down,” he said.

  I got up and nearly fell over. David braced me, pressing his body against mine to hold me steady. “Settle down Teme. You’ll see him in a moment.”

  “I want to see him now!”

  “Please settle down Teme,” David urged. “Daniel’s in the living room. I’ll take the kids to Alana’s. I’ll be back in 10.”

  Getting up slowly this time, I made my way to the living room. Daniel stood there, leaning against the wall in his familiar cowboyesque pose. He had his hat in his hand.

  I rushed towards him and poked him for good measure to see if he was really there in the flesh. My disbelief quickly turned to anger. “Why would you do this to me!” I exclaimed, fists balled, pummeling his chest. “How could you do this to us!”

  “Come now, come now, sugarpie,” he implored, tugging at my heart strings with his smooth and tender voice, taking my balled fists into his hands and pulling me in closer. “I did this to save you from me, and what a life with me would entail,” he explained. “I did this because I love you and I want to protect you.” Without warning, he planted a full kiss on my lips. Stunned, I stood there for a moment before resisting him.

  “I’m not your wife anymore, Daniel!” I said, wiping the taste of him off my lips.

  He smiled comfortably in response. “Oh, yes you are!” he stated. “You know as well as I do that your current marriage is null and void as the first one was not over when you tied the knot with David. Can’t divorce a dead man who’s come back to life, now can you?”

  I slapped him hard across the cheek. “You did this to us,” I said.

  He winced in pain from the sting of the slap. “Baby, don’t get all excited. In fact, don’t all welcome me back at once,” he said. “I’ve been gone a while and all you can do is yell at me? Okay, I see I can still get you all fired up inside, but baby, this wasn’t the homecoming I was expecting.”

  “Don’t call me baby. I haven’t been your baby for a long time. You left me. You left us!” I reminded him. “You faked your own death, I married your brother, and now you’re back. What do you want from me! What will you have me do for you this time?” I questioned, angrily.

  He paused for a moment before stating simply, “I didn’t quite fake my own death…it’s complicated. I’m sorry.” His deep blue eyes glistening with tears, he apologised again. “I’m sorry.”

  As he stood there in the flesh, I knew I still loved him. I still wanted him. We shared a life together. A life that was cut too short. I still loved him, but this wasn’t the time or place to rekindle old flames of love.

  “I’m sorry,” he said again. “Very sorry,” he added. “It was all done for the love of you,” he said. Stepping back, he held out his hand to take mine. I resisted at first.

  “Sugarpie, please,” he requested.

  Reluctantly, I placed my hand in his. “Beautiful ring,” he commented, examining the gold band with pink diamonds. “Pink diamonds? I see he spared no expense, yet again,” he said. “I knew you’d be happy with him,” he added.

  “Really? You’ve come back to tell me that?” I queried. “How generous of you.

  He ignored my attempt at sarcasm and instead offered a compliment. “Time’s been kind on you, you’re a sight to behold. You’re still so damn fine,” he said, bringing my hand to his lips for a kiss.

  Though his kiss sent tingles down my spine, and sent my head into a tailspin, I took a step back from him to put some distance between us.

  “You’re complicating things, Daniel. I don’t need things to be complicated right now.”

  “Sugarpie,” he said, shaking his head. “I’ve been gone for so long. Is that any way to be with me? Where’s all the I can’t live without you, or let’s pick up where we left off?”

  “How dare you come here, asking me to pick up where we left off. You asked me to move on with David when you were gone. I’ve done that. I’ve…We’ve got babies on the way. I can’t just walk away from him and onto you,” I replied. “I can’t do that to him.”

  “I see,” he replied quickly, hanging his head in resignation. After some pause, he stated, “Okay, let’s sit. I’ll tell you blow by blow why I had to do what I had to do.” Motioning towards the sofa, he implored me to sit with him.

  In the half hour that ensued, he told me a sordid tale of lies, crime and revenge that left me shocked, angry, and sad at the same time. He knew better. He should have known better.

  “So, if I hadn’t gotten sick, my DNA might never have been linked to that matter,” he said.

  “It would have happened eventually,” I conjectured.

  “Maybe, maybe not,” he replied. “I just know that I wasn’t going to stand by and let things happen to you and the kids. You being with David and getting on with life with him, was my way out.”

  I nodded in response, starting to understand why he did what he did.

  “I’m a wanted man,” he said casually as though it were an ordinary, everyday thing. “I’ve been on the run for time now,” he said. “I’m fixin’ to turn myself in,” he said. “Just tryin’ not to take anyone else down with me. The Brotherhood needs to continue the good work it started.”

  “If it wasn’t for the Brotherhood, you wouldn’t be in this mess,” I told him.

  “If it wasn’t for me taking matters into my own hands I wouldn’t be in this mess,” he insisted. “Don’t blame the Brotherhood for this.”

  I nodded my head in response. I still had questions. “What about David? How far is he still entrenched in all of this?”

  “He isn’t,” Daniel replied quickly. “That’s all you need to know.”

  I didn’t believe him. I looked him over, once more. He was here, in the flesh. The man I’d loved so deeply, the man who stirred me up the wrong way all the time, the man who did all he could to be protective of me, provide for me and shield me was here in the flesh.

  “Look. I guess some part of me wanted to believe that you’d be alone for the rest of your life. Despite me pushing you to be with David, I’d hoped that what we shared would’ve been enough to last you a lifetime.”

  “I know, I hear you. I feel you. It took me a year to even consider loving someone else. Loving David happened so quickly mostly because I wanted to honour your wishes.”

  “Mostly,” he said after me.

  “Mostly,” I repeated. “The rest was bound to happen,” I said, honestly.

  “I understand,” he replied regretfully. “I guess my behavior when I was with you only drew you closer to him,” he acknowledged. “Well, shoe’s on the other foot for me now,” he claimed. “I now know how David felt all these years,” he said, in a forlone and sad tone. “So much for forever, hey?”

  I sighed in response before stating, “It would’ve been forever with you had you not left in the first place.”

  “I know, I know,” he replied. “Look, for what it’s worth, I’d much rather you be with him when it comes time for me to go down. I can’t bear the thought of you being alone, raising the kids on your lonesome. I haven’t been there for you like I promised I would the day we took our vows. I can’t leave you alone.”

  “Daniel, if you’d told me all this instead of planning some elaborate skin game, I would have stood by you, you know.”

  “Skin game,” he said, laughing in earnest, before replying on a serious note, “I’m not sure that you would’ve stood by me. Some things are beyond forgiveness.”

  “I would’ve stood by you,” I confirmed.

  “Yeah, I believe that,” he said, with sarcasm, and unconvinced. “At what cost? Your career would be over. Life as you know it would be over. You might’ve even gotten booked for conspiracy.”

  “There’s a ways,” I replied in kind. “I would’ve stood by you,” I said again.r />
  David suddenly appeared at the open door and stood there for a moment before walking in. He wore a look of deep concern on his face. Barely looking at Daniel, he turned to me. “Everything okay?” he asked.

  “Everything’s fine,” I assured him.

  “Right as rain, she says,” Daniel interjected. “This here situation is anything but fine,” he stated.

  “I figured that,” David said protectively, searching my eyes for something that would betray me. He found nothing.

  “Congrats on the babies on the way,” Daniel managed. “Josiah and Adalia must be chuffed,” he added. “Speaking of which… where are they?”

  “Out,” David responded protectively.

  “They are my kids you know, I need to see them,” Daniel asserted.

  “Seeing them would only complicate things,” David stated.

  “It’s not as though I haven’t seen them anyhow. I’m just asking to see them now, with you knowing,” he confessed.

  I felt fury rise within me, when I suddenly recalled how Adalia had talked about David and his cowboy hat. He didn’t have one, so it was likely Daniel she’d been speaking about. “David, did you know about this?” I queried.

  “I only just found out,” he replied. Turning to Daniel he stated, “Kids’ll be here in any minute. Time you made yourself scarce.”

  Daniel stood up abruptly. “I’m not going anywhere, mate.”

  I once again felt the tension in the air, the same old tension that would appear when the two were ready to go head to head.

  “We had an agreement,” David said. “I’m here now, this is my family you’re talking about.”

  An agreement? I wondered.

  “Last time I checked, Teme was still married to me and those kids are actually mine,” Daniel reminded him.

  I could see David was too overwhelmed with the changed circumstances to put up a fight. Still, he stood there, in silence, choosing his words carefully before speaking again. “I’m not fighting with you bro. You’re going down eventually, and when you do, you won’t take us down with you. I’m not fighting with you when we can be making peace with our choices. I’m not fighting with you when I stand to lose it all. Teme and the kids are family to me now. You’ve always been family. I’m not fighting with you, when I could be making peace with you. The fighting stops now,” David declared.

  “Right. I believe you,” Daniel said sarcastically, running a hand through his deep brown hair which was lightly peppered with a few strands of sunburnt auburn brown and grey hair.

  “Look,” David stated. “I’m not going to cuss you out. I’m not going to raise a fist to hurt you something pretty. I’m not going to hurt you with words. What I am going to do is I am going to give you a piece of my mind. I am going to ask for you to consider leaving things the way they are. I’ve loved this here woman for a very long time. I love your kids as though they were my own. I’ve worked hard to make things work and to keep everyone happy since you left. You coming back is not going to change things.”

  “That’s a brave stance you’ve taken. Doesn’t feel good now does it, shoe being on the other foot?” Daniel asked rhetorically.

  “No, fighting with you and competing against you has never felt good. I’m happy you’re alive and well, but changing everything now won’t be good for anyone,” David insisted.

  “By anyone, do you mean yourself? Cause I can think of 101 reasons why I should stay,” Daniel replied. “The kids and my wife being one of them,” he said.

  “You mean, my wife,” David said firmly.

  “If that’s what you need to tell yourself to feel better about all this, that’s fine. It’s only a matter of time before things come to light,” Daniel said.

  Annoyed at the endless conflict, I asked, “What about your promise to let David and me be?”

  Daniel scoffed in response. “I should’ve added a precursor there. Everything I said then, was said before I realized how hungry I was for the life I had. The wife I still have…”

  “Okay, that’s enough Daniel,” David said sternly. “The kids’ll be back any minute.”

  “I’m not going anywhere,” Daniel confirmed, taking a seat firmly on the chaise lounge.

  David shook his head in annoyance. “You know, you taking a stance like that isn’t helping. Kids talk, and it’s only a matter of time before either of them says something to someone else.”

  “Well, if that’s the price I have to pay, I’ll take my chances,” Daniel said.

  Not a moment later, we heard the front door open and the children raced through the house. I got up to meet them, and David stopped me with a gentle tug on my arm. “If this is what he wants, let’s give him what he wants. They’re his kids too,” he conceded.

  I raised a brow in response and watched the kids as they bounded in unaware that their little worlds were about to change forever.

  “Daddy!!!” Adalia exclaimed, running towards Daniel.

  Josiah ran towards David, took a second look at Daniel and stated,

  “That’s not Daddy.”

  “Yes it is,” Adalia said. “This is our Daddy who loves dress-ups!”

  I rolled my eyes in response. Daniel had clearly been to see the kids before, and Adalia knew exactly what she was saying.

  “Adalia,” I called out but she cut me off.

  “Mommy this is Daddy 1,” she said quickly hugging Daniel. “That’s Daddy 2,” she said confidently, before dashing to David.

  David got down to his knees to be at eye level with her. “I might be Daddy 2 but I’m Daddy 1 at ticking you ‘til you can’t take no more!” he claimed, and she giggled in delight as he tickled her silly.

  I sighed in relief. He always knew what to do and when to do it.

  “Josiah,” Daniel started. Josiah remained at a distance, apprehensive. “Hey buddy, come here,” he said, trying to get to him. “How about I let you wear my hat?” he offered, taking his cowboy hat into his hands and tracing a finger along the brim.

  Josiah hesitated for a moment longer, then approached. “You’re not Daddy,” he stated.

  “Okay, that’s enough Josiah,” I stated, trying to avert a mini crisis.

  “He’s not my Daddy,” he said again.

  Daniel interjected. “Okay buddy, why don’t you call me D? D for Daniel? D is also the first letter in the word Daddy.”

  “It’s also the first letter in my last name. You’re not my Daddy, D,” Josiah stated, glaring at Daniel.

  “Alright buddy. I’ll take that. How about you try on my hat?” he offered again.

  “No,” Josiah said outright.

  “Josiah, how about you go help Dad in the garden outside?” I suggested.

  Josiah gave Daniel the once over before stating, “Okay,” and running off.

  Daniel sat with his hat in his hands, clearly disappointed.

  “He’ll know who you are, someday,” I stated.

  “I guess so,” he said, running his palm along the mid line of his hat.

  “You look exhausted Daniel, how about you get some rest while I make dinner?” I suggested.

  He shook his head to the negative. “I’ve missed too many moments with y’all already. I don’t want to miss any more,” he said.

  Dinner was a somber affair. Daniel kept mostly quiet as the kids chatted away about their playdate. David interacted with the kids, pausing every now and then to ask me if I was okay. My silence worried him, that much I knew.

  Eating as though he hadn’t eaten in a while, Daniel went for seconds then thirds. When he looked about ready to get his fourth helping, David stated, “There’s more in the kitchen. Eat your fill.”

  Whether out of self-restraint or embarrassment, but more likely the latter, Daniel decided he’d had enough, and folded his fork and knife together on his plate, vertically. “Thank you for dinner, it was delicious,” he said, before filling up on water instead. I gave David a disapproving look, as what he’d said had likely discouraged rather than enco
uraged Daniel to continue eating.

  “Daddy!” Adalia asked, addressing Daniel, “Are you going to rock me to sleep tonight?”

  Passing me a side glance before he answered, he replied, “Yes, baby, I will if you want me to.”

  David sighed in response. I could tell that his being a peace warrior was slowly wearing him down. Still, he offered, “How about you two give them a bath and I do the dishes?”

  Daniel tapped his fingers lightly on the table. “Just as long as Josiah’s happy for that to happen.”

  “No,” Josiah said adamantly.

  “Alright then,” Daniel replied. “I’ll do the dishes and you two can do the bath,” he suggested instead.

  “Aw… I wanted Daddy 1 to give me a bath. No fair!” Adalia exclaimed.

  “Next time angel,” Daniel assured her. “Next time. I’ll be rockin’ you to sleep tonight, remember?”

  “Yes. And I don’t want you to go away ever again,” she said, breaking my heart and Daniel’s too by the look in his eyes. Little did she know that her daddy was going to be going away for a long time.

  “I’ll do the dishes Daniel,” I offered. “You look exhausted,” I told him again. “The guest room is all set up for you to use.” Despite his tiredness, I could tell that sleeping was the last thing he wanted to do. He nodded his head in agreement anyhow.

  After their baths, I gave them some rice milk. David then helped them brush their teeth. Moments later, he read them a bedtime story in the living room. Daniel sat at the end of the sofa, observing the children with David. I could tell it was hard for him, but he had no choice. At some point during the story, Adalia jumped out of David’s lap and into Daniel’s lap. Wrapping her little arms around his neck, she listened intently to the story being read by David, and nestled her little head deeply into Daniel’s chest.

  Story done and ready to rest, Josiah grabbed the book from David and put it in the library bag. We’d made it a point every week to get new books to read from the local library, and he was all too happy to place them back in the bag once read, in anticipation of the ones yet to be read in the days to come.

  “Goodnight mom,” he said, bounding towards me and planting a kiss on my cheek. “Love you,” he added.