Shameful (The Shameless Trilogy Book 2)

by M. Malone

Yeah, that and Noah would be pissed. But seeing as he refused to tell her anything, seeing as she didn't have any answers, this might be the only way. At least that was the lie she told herself. Justifications were a funny thing.

  Looking around, she noted that Matthias and Jonas were still hanging around the kitchen. That meant they wouldn’t see her on the cameras. At least not yet.

  Quickly, she tiptoed into Noah's office, closing the glass door behind her. She had no idea what she was looking for. The office was stark at best. Massive glass table. Modern leather chairs, steel, chrome, glass. Eggshell walls. No pictures. A stark, bleak canvas. That was Noah. She always wondered how he could possibly work in here. It just felt so empty. Maybe that was how he felt all the time. She had no idea.

  Her only option was to check the bookshelves. She did it meticulously, putting each book back exactly as she found them. What do you think you're going to find? She had no idea. Hell, she had no idea what she was even looking for. Just some kind of clue. Something labeled ‘Rafe and Noah’s secret redacted file’ here, but she doubted she’d get that lucky. She just had a feeling that finding answers about Noah would help her find some answers about Rafe.

  In the end it didn't matter what she searched, since Noah’s office was as impenetrable as the man himself. His laptop was password protected, and most of the drawers in his desk were locked. Except for one. The top one. Inside, she found a picture of him and her, at the beach. It was taken maybe last year. There was no frame. Just the picture. He’d picked her up and had her tossed over his shoulder. She was kicking frantically, trying to get him to let go of her. Of course, they were both laughing like loons. She didn't even know he had a picture of that day.

  And underneath the picture, she found a friendship bracelet. The strings were pink and green, purple and yellow. She remembered exactly when she’d made it. Summer camp when she was thirteen. When she returned home, everyone still treated her like she was a kid, but not Noah. He talked to her, asked her questions. Wanted to really know about her. She had given it to him, because for a thirteen-year-old girl, that was the height of friendship. Someone who would actually listen to you and didn’t overlook you because you were a child. He’d kept this all these years? She fingered the cotton delicately when a voice startled her out of her reverie.

  "I must’ve lost my shit when you gave it to me."

  Lucia dropped the bracelet and the photo. "Noah, I —"

  He crossed his arms and leaned in the doorframe. "You were just what? Doing a little light snooping?"

  "Sorry. I should never have—" She looked down at her hands. "I shouldn't have invaded your privacy. I know. But, since that's what you do to me …" She shrugged. "Turnabout’s fair play."

  Noah stayed in the doorframe. Arms crossed, gorgeous face turned down into a scowl. "No one had ever given me anything before. Not really. Not anything meaningful. And you were just a kid. Thirteen, fourteen? You gave me that bracelet. I still remember asking you what it was for, and you said it was for friendship."

  She smiled at the memory. "I don't think I ever saw you without it after that."

  Noah licked his lips even as he shifted his gaze downward. "I didn't take it off. If you look at it closely, you’ll see there's blood on it. I stopped wearing it after that day."

  Lucia’s bottom lip quivered. "Noah. I’m sorry."

  He left the doorway then and strode toward her. Anyone else would have been scared. He moved like an animal on the prowl. But Lucia wasn't going to run. He didn't scare her. She shoved the drawer closed and came around the desk to meet him halfway.

  "You shouldn’t be sticking your nose where it doesn't belong," he growled low.

  "I know. I'm sorry, but after we talked you shut down on me. I'm just trying to know you. Know something about you that’s real and not an illusion, not a charade, and not a lie. Since you won't talk to me, I'm–" She shook her head. "No. I shouldn't have snooped. It was invasive. Sorry."

  She lifted her head and met his gaze. His eyes were stormy as he gazed into hers. "Lucia, God, what are you doing to me?"

  And then his lips crashed over hers. Automatically Lucia's arms wrapped around his neck and with a low growl, Noah lifted her and placed her on the edge of the desk. His tongue delved in and stroked against hers, teasing, drawing a response out of her. He tasted like coffee, and mint, and something spicy. And she loved it. She wanted more.

  He tried to pull back, but she locked her legs around him and tightened her arms. Logically, she knew she couldn’t hold him if he wanted to go. But it didn't stop her from trying. Noah whispered against her lips. "I couldn't stay away from you if I tried."

  "Then why are you trying?" she whispered.

  "Because I know the fire will consume us."

  He delved back in with his tongue, licking into her mouth, making her shudder. Her body wanted the things that he silently promised; things dark and delicious that made her feel desperate. When he slid his hands up under her top skimming his thumbs along the edges of her ribs, she gasped and arched her back into the caress. He dragged his kisses along her jaw, her neck, all the while his hands skimmed rib over rib, and finally just under her breasts.

  And Lucia knew that this was what she wanted. He was what she wanted. She just needed to convince him that he wanted to keep her.

  He drew back. “Be sure, Lucia. Because, if I have you, I’m never letting you go.”

  She met his gaze directly. “I’m sure, Noah. I love you.”

  chapter eight

  NOAH PICKED HER up, his control gone. When their lips met, it was a hard mesh of lips and teeth and hot panting breaths. There was something in the back of his head screaming at him to treat her gently. Not to unleash the animalistic urge to take, bite, and ravage. But Lucia didn’t shrink away as he kissed his way across her neck to take the lobe of her ear between his teeth. No, she moaned and dug her delicate fingers into his shoulders, the sharp bites of pain just sending his already crazed desire through the roof.

  “You weren’t supposed to know,” he rasped in between hot, suctioning kisses down her collarbone.

  “Know what?” She squeaked when he set her down on top of the desk. Her eyes were slightly unfocused and her lips were red and swollen.

  Noah grunted, pleased by the evidence of her desire. He wanted to see it all over her. She should always look this way, flushed and satisfied.

  “You weren’t supposed to know how long I’ve wanted you. I was supposed to be your protector, and I tried so hard to stay away. Not to want you.”

  His words seemed to please her because her lips curled into a devious smile. “You didn’t have to stay away.”

  “I did, hell, I probably still should. But I’ve tried that and it doesn’t work. I’m drawn to you and nothing is keeping me away now. You’re mine.”

  Noah loved how she clung to him, like she couldn’t get enough of the feel of his skin. Her touch made him feel primal, like he’d kill anything that ever threatened her. He picked her up, enjoying the feel of her curvy little ass in his hands. Lucia was petite but lush in all the right places. He could spend an entire night just worshipping the perfect globes of her ass.

  She moaned as he squeezed the soft flesh, hefting her higher so he didn’t have to break the kiss. If it were possible, he’d have his hands and lips all over every inch of her skin simultaneously. Desire rode him hard, making him crazed to do it all, touch it all, have it all at once.

  “You make me so fucking crazy,” he growled, charmed when she giggled and clamped her legs around his waist.

  “I haven’t even done anything.” Lucia pulled his head down and peppered kisses all over his face.

  Goddamn, she was so sweet. She touched him gently and each one of those delicate little touches made him hard as stone. He clenched his teeth, trying to keep himself in check. As much as he wanted to just throw her down on this desk and fuck her hard, he needed to be gentle with her. Careful.

  Lucia seemed to have different ideas
because she bit his bottom lip before soothing the hurt with her tongue. His eyes flew open and their gazes locked and held. In that moment Noah saw everything in her eyes. This woman was the one he’d never dared hope to wish for, the other half of his broken soul and the one person who would love him despite his past.

  She seemed to sense the importance of the moment also because her hands tightened around his neck.

  “Noah, I need you. Right now.” Her words were strangled before her mouth was on his and she yanked at the front of his shirt.

  Dimly, he heard the soft clatter of buttons hitting the floor but it was swallowed by the roaring in his ears. She needs me. There was nothing she could have said that would have aroused him more than that.

  They were a blur of movements as they wrestled to get out of their clothes. Noah moaned aloud when her teeth sank into the bare skin of his shoulder. Shocked that she would actually bite him, he growled and shoved everything on the desk to the floor.

  “Noah, your laptop!”

  Lucia looked up at him in surprise as he stretched her out over the surface of the desk. Most of her clothes had been shed and littered the floor at his feet except for a pair of sheer black panties. Her nipples tightened under his gaze, the perfect rose points drawing his attention like beacons. His mouth watered just looking at her.

  “I’ll buy another fucking laptop.”

  Then he leaned over her and used his teeth to nip at those damn candy-colored nipples. How could any woman be this sweet? He’d been with a lot of women, probably way too many, and no one had ever made him feel like this. Crazed to touch, taste and stroke every inch. It wasn’t just for his own pleasure either but he wanted to drive her crazy and treat her the way she deserved. He needed to hear Lucia scream his name. Needed it like he needed his next breath.

  When he moved to kiss her belly button she giggled, her torso twisting away from him. She gripped his hair as if to stop him, but of course that only made the game more fun.

  “Noah, stop teasing.”

  “Never, princess. I plan on teasing you until you barely know your own name.”

  Her sigh hit his ears just as he buried his face between her thighs. The sigh turned into a moan as he nuzzled the soft curls on her mound. He liked the fact that she didn’t shave or wax it bare completely. All the women he’d been with before had been like smooth, plastic Barbies between their legs. They’d made noises calculated to sound sexy, moved their gym-toned bodies to pose for him and said what they thought he wanted to hear.

  But none of that shit had ever mattered.

  Lucia was real; she didn’t know how to be anything but who she was and he never wanted her to learn. Nothing about her was calculated or fake. He realized now that she was the one person who’d always loved him for absolutely no reason at all.

  “You are perfect, Lucia. Absolutely fucking perfect.” Noah punctuated each word with a kiss, licking deeper and harder until she was moaning wildly. “That’s it, just let go for me, beautiful.”

  Lucia’s fingers tangled in his hair until he was sure he’d have a bald spot. Not that he cared. It was a small price to pay for the honor of having his tongue deep in the sweetest pussy he’d ever had.

  When she came, her grip tightened and she let out a soft, keening cry. Her thighs clenched around his face and Noah had to restrain himself from beating his chest. When he finally lifted his head, she was flushed and dazed, watching him with sleepy gray eyes.

  “Don’t check out on me yet, baby.”

  That seemed to spark something in her because the sassy look he loved came back to her eyes.

  “Check out? Can’t a girl take a breath?”

  She sat up then and put her arms around his neck. He kissed her, allowing her to taste herself on his lips. Lucia moaned and then wrapped her legs around his waist.

  “Are you sure you aren’t checking out, old man?”

  Noah chuckled at the familiar joke. He’d never known sex could be this much fun. But then again, Lucia made everything fun.

  “You’ve almost worn this old man out. But not quite. Hold on to me.”

  She squealed when he lifted her and carried her to the wall behind his desk. With her legs locked around his waist, she was at the perfect height for—

  “Oh my god,” Lucia moaned as he slid inside in one smooth stroke. Her head fell back against the wall with a thump. The look on her face was pure ecstasy.

  He would have taken more time to appreciate the view if he wasn’t so consumed by the sensation of being wrapped up in her. It was like having his dick encased in heaven and he didn’t want to miss a moment. He clenched his teeth against the urge to come immediately. Lucia was moaning and gyrating in his arms, making his job even harder. Then she clamped her arms around his neck and pulled his mouth to hers.

  And the battle was lost.

  He thrust harder and harder, ignoring the voice in the back of his head screaming for him to be gentle. She was so open, her soft wet flesh enveloping him over and over until she tensed and smacked his shoulder, tears streaming down her face.

  “Fuck, I can’t take it,” Noah growled.

  Lucia lifted her head. “Yes, come with me.”

  He gave up the fight then and succumbed to the most intense pleasure he’d ever experienced. Having her eyes on him the whole time made it even more intense because he felt like he was inside her in every way, body and soul. When the last shudder of pleasure left him, Noah wasn’t sure how he managed to remain upright. The wall behind them was the only reason they weren’t both flat on their asses right then because his legs felt like jelly.

  Suddenly he heard the muted sound of clapping. His head whipped around and he saw Oskar right outside his office wearing a big grin and clapping like a madman. Noah cursed. He hadn’t remembered to frost the windows in his office so they were still visible to everyone.

  “Thanks for the free show!” Oskar yelled and then gave them both a big thumbs-up.

  Lucia groaned and then buried her head in his shoulder. When her shoulders started shaking Noah saw red. He would pound Oskar for embarrassing her later.

  “Don’t cry, sweetheart. I’m sorry about the windows. I forgot—” He stopped abruptly when she lifted her head and he saw that she wasn’t crying. The little brat had the nerve to be laughing.

  “Noah, I’m not the one who gave him the show. Your naked ass is what everyone has been looking at the whole time!” She broke off into another fit of giggles that instantly made everything right in the world again.

  Lucia woke while he was carrying her up the stairs. She smiled and turned her head into Noah’s chest. It was fascinating to observe him when he wasn’t aware. Her warrior. That was what it felt like. Maybe it was shallow but she couldn’t deny it was insanely sexy the way he insisted on picking her up all the time. How was she supposed to resist a guy who treated her like the most precious thing in the world? She imagined this was what the queens of old had felt like being protected by knights who’d pledged their lives.

  Lucia sobered slightly at the thought that Noah truly would sacrifice his life for her. That was the last thing she wanted. In a perfect world, she imagined them spending decades together in the future, growing old and cranky together. He’d annoy her with his overbearing nature and she’d drive him crazy by defying him at every turn.

  And she’d love him until the day she died.

  “Sleep, princess.” Noah tucked her under the covers and smoothed the hair back from her face.

  Lucia scooted over and held the covers open. “Not unless you come, too?”

  He hesitated, glancing over his shoulder at the open door. The muted hum of voices floated up from the floor below. Lucia sighed. Having her around was probably putting a huge strain on Noah’s workload because he obviously wasn’t used to taking meals or retiring at a decent hour. But she couldn’t help herself. She wanted more of him; no, needed more of him. It felt like nothing too bad could happen if he was there. She didn’t mean to use him as th
e human equivalent of a blankie, but there was no denying that his presence comforted her.

  “Okay, let me just check on a few things.”

  He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead before walking back out, pulling the door closed behind him.

  Lucia rolled over to face the window. He was probably hoping that she’d fall asleep in the meantime so he could get back to work. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes. She didn’t know what to do with all these new feelings. Noah had always been there as a part of her life, but he’d never been the center of it. Their new relationship had thrown her completely off balance, and it was scary to be out here on the limb dangling all alone. Noah said that he loved her, but she didn’t know if it meant the same thing to him as it did to her. Lucia hated to feel so needy, but truthfully, she had to acknowledge that she’d always needed Noah. It was only recently that she’d been able to openly admit it and embrace the way he made her feel.

  It was probably way too much to hope that he felt the same way.

  She wasn’t sure how much time passed before the door opened, the hum of voices getting louder and then cutting off again when the door closed. Lucia squeezed her eyes closed, as if it would keep Noah from seeing how upset she was. The bed dipped slightly under his weight, and she squeaked when he grabbed her and dragged her against him.

  “You’ve never been able to fake sleep, Lu. Not even when you were a kid.”

  Lucia huffed out a breath and rolled over to face him. His eyes traced over her face, taking in the tear trails and her no doubt puffy eyes, but he didn’t say anything. Not that he needed to. All she needed was what she had right now—Noah holding her close and making everything better.

  “I’m glad you’re here.” Lucia rested her head on his chest, lulled by the steady thump of his heart under her cheek. She counted the beats, imagining that each one beat to the rhythm of his love for her.

  “Me too. I love having you in my bed. This is where you belong.”

  Lucia wrapped an arm around his waist and hugged him tighter. Every inch of him was covered in muscle, but somehow he still made a very comfortable pillow. She had to stop herself from giggling at the thought of his reaction to being called cuddly. Noah was totally the alpha male, aggressive, hear-me-roar type. He’d probably hate being considered sensitive in any way.