by C. J. Harte
Susan pulled her close and soon Maggie was asleep. She awoke briefly only to walk into the house and climb into bed. Susan pulled out a nightshirt and put away the new sleepwear she bought for the trip. “We’ll have plenty of time,” she said.
*
Maggie woke up confused. She couldn’t remember what day it was or what hotel she was in. A familiar scent finally fully roused her from her dream-filled sleep. She recognized her bed. The scent meant Susan was somewhere around. But not in bed. As she looked at the clock, she was amazed it was almost noon. She quickly showered and dressed.
When Maggie got to the sunroom, she found Susan asleep in a large chair. Her long bare legs hung over the arm of the chair and a book rested in her lap. She looked so vulnerable and innocent. Some protective instinct kicked in. Gently caressing the sun-kissed locks, Maggie struggled with the intense emotions she felt. Startled, Susan dropped her book and nearly knocked Maggie over as she stood up.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up.”
“I didn’t mean to—”
They laughed.
“I’ve missed you, sweetheart. You looked so wonderful sitting here. I didn’t want to wake you. I just needed to touch you. Guess I’m not very good at leaving you alone.”
“Good.” Hugs led to kisses as they made their way back to Maggie’s room. Each time they made love Susan found another barrier lowered and, with it, passion followed. Susan wasn’t sure how it could be, she just knew it was. It was dark outside when they finally lay quietly and began to talk.
“I’ve missed you. Sometimes, at night, in my hotel room, I would be unable to sleep. I would remember what you felt like, smelled like, tasted like. I would try to recall a conversation or an image. And I would replay it over and over. Finally, I would feel as if you were really there. Then I could fall asleep. Reality is so much better.” Maggie took her hand and began kissing each finger. “I want to kiss every inch of you. And then I want to do it all over again. I want to create bunches of new memories.”
“I figured by now you would have been bored with me. After all, there must be thousands of willing women throwing themselves at you.”
“That’s true,” she answered nonchalantly, kissing the inside of Susan’s arm.
“You can be less agreeable.”
“I want to be very agreeable. I want to make love with you until neither one of us can walk. We’ll have to stay in bed for at least another day.”
“I don’t think so. Besides, we have to get dressed up and go out to a big dinner tomorrow. So at least one of us needs to be able to walk fairly well tomorrow. Especially if you have to get up and give an acceptance speech.”
Maggie groaned. “That would be nice, but the competition is tough. I’m this upstart newcomer. Remember? I’m pleased with all the recognition, but… Maybe one day.”
“If you don’t think you’re going to win, why did you come back?”
“One, my studio insisted. Second, and most important, I wanted to get laid.”
Susan sat up and stared, unable to determine if Maggie was kidding.
“Only by a certain someone.” Maggie began to crawl toward Susan, forcing her to lie back down on the bed. She leaned over her. “Didn’t you think about us in bed, naked, making love? How about my kissing your neck?” She gently nibbled Susan’s neck. “Or about my hand sliding up and down your thigh?”
Susan lost her ability to listen to anything Maggie said. She felt the kisses, the caresses, the warmth. Her senses were drenched in Maggie’s touches. Susan felt herself letting go of any reserve and joining Maggie in this familiar dance.
*
“I’m sorry if I’m keeping you from resting.” Susan smiled as Maggie choked down a sandwich. “Someone’s worked up an appetite.” They had gone to the kitchen in search of food after their lovemaking session.
“No, it’s okay. I’m just hungry. I mean I enjoyed being with you today. I mean…I mean, being with you is very relaxing, no matter what we’re doing. Don’t you dare go away.”
Putting on her best Southern accent, Susan said, “Why, thank you. You are most gallant for saying such nice things about me.”
“Do you suppose you could whisper sweet nothings to me while we make mad, passionate love? That would be so exciting.”
No one else was in the kitchen but Susan felt the heat travel up her body. They went back to bed and resumed the lovemaking, this time with a slower tempo.
Susan trailed languid kisses up and down Maggie’s body, enjoying the sounds coming from her. As she listened to Maggie’s breathing, Susan reveled in the power she enjoyed every time Maggie groaned. She nipped the inside of the well-muscled and tanned thighs. Moving up to the damp crotch, Susan inhaled and enjoyed the scent of arousal. Making love with Maggie was a miraculous experience, far beyond anything she could have wished or hoped for.
Susan looked up Maggie’s body, noticing her hand grabbing the sheets. She let her tongue dance in the wetness, Maggie’s body arching in anticipation. Susan couldn’t get enough of Maggie. She devoured her until she felt the spasms begin. Susan slowly slipped her fingers inside and Maggie rode quickly to orgasm. Susan felt her own control going. As Maggie peaked, Susan’s own body responded. Her hand in place, she slid onto Maggie’s leg and allowed her own orgasm to fill her. The sheer power of the moment consumed her. She pulled her hand free and felt Maggie pull her tightly against her body. It was then that she felt Maggie’s sobs.
“Maggie, oh Maggie, I am sorry.” Susan tried to pull away.
“No. Don’t move. Please, just listen.” Maggie held on tightly. “I’m scared. You were making love to me and suddenly I couldn’t control my feelings. It scared me. I wanted you to make love to me. I wanted to feel all those things, yet I wanted to run away at the same time. And then…everything became so intense, I couldn’t control what I felt. I love you so much and I’m afraid you won’t love me that way. Please just hold me.”
The words were flung out, a challenge to Susan to love. Susan remained atop Maggie, struggling for some type of reassurance. By the time she could respond, Susan noticed that Maggie’s breathing had changed. Maggie was asleep! Susan vacillated between rejoicing that Maggie loved her and fearing that tomorrow would bring denial. Finally, her mother’s words came back to haunt her. Why can’t I accept today and enjoy it?
Chapter Twenty-Two
Susan awoke early the next morning and lay in bed next to Maggie, hypersensitive to every move and sound Maggie made. Susan would briefly doze, then awaken when Maggie moved. Only when she was sure Maggie was asleep would she allow herself to relax and doze again.
Finally Maggie was awake. “Good morning, gorgeous. I’m not sure what you did last night, but I slept soundly. You could make a fortune putting lonely lesbians to sleep.” Maggie stretched, her naked body resplendent in the morning light. “God, I needed some sleep.” She turned and gave Susan a long, warm kiss. “Do you suppose we could arrange a replay sometime soon after this awards thing is over?”
Seeing the questioning look on Susan’s face, Maggie quickly added, “This may sound trite, but it’s true. I’ve never experienced whatever happened last night. I don’t understand. It felt wonderful and scary. I meant everything I said. I love you.”
Tears glimmered in Susan’s eyes. She leaned in and kissed Maggie, hoping that the love she felt was being felt in Maggie’s heart.
“Give me some time. I’m still trying to figure all this out.”
This time Susan eagerly nodded. “Promise.” The moment was broken when the phone rang. Breakfast was ready.
*
The mood changed drastically as they dressed for the evening’s events. Members of Maggie’s staff were in and out. Susan returned to the bedroom and dressed. She was surprised by a knock on the door. Susan opened it to find Paul in a tuxedo.
“You look stunning. Come on. Let me escort you downstairs before someone else steals you away. Don’t want to be late.”
Sus
an worried briefly about Maggie. “Paul, are you really this nice, or does Maggie pay you to take care of her girlfriends?”
His laugh was hearty. “First, I would never work for Maggie. I may represent her legally, but I do not work for her. I would be bald. And you know how vain we gay men are about our looks. Second, you’re the only girlfriend Maggie has had in the almost five years I’ve known her. From what Derek says, you’re the only one she has brought home. That makes you very, very special in this household. Third, I do not pimp. Believe it or not, I just want to know you better. You and I live in worlds very different than Maggie and Derek. I hope you’ll be my friend.”
Such a gracious plea could not be refused. At dinner, she found Paul’s conversation and humor almost as enjoyable as Maggie’s. Susan looked at her dining companions. “I can’t believe this is happening. Maggie, I am so proud of you.”
Maggie looked around and then lowered her voice. “I hope you’re not talking about my acting.”
Susan rolled her eyes. “Yes, I am. I’m not going to ask what you were thinking about. You’re an incredibly talented woman.”
“Coming from you, that means a lot to me. Now I just need to survive this evening and then I’ll show you how much.”
“What if you win? Don’t you have to party?”
“I don’t expect to win. We’ll make the rounds to the governor’s party and Elton John’s. But I just want to spend as much of the time I have here with you. Alone.”
“Well, let’s get the evening over.”
At the awards ceremony the focus shifted to the stage. Even sitting in the audience, Susan was awed by the well-known names giving and receiving awards. She was thankful for the anonymity of the auditorium. “Ed would be in heaven.”
Maggie laughed. “Ed would be passing out cards faster than some of these dancers can tap.”
One of the early awards was Best Supporting Actress. Maggie briefly grasped Susan’s hand before grabbing Derek’s arm. She listened to the names of the nominees, smiling and looking at Derek when her name was called. She was well aware the cameras were on her.
“And the winner is…M.J. Carson for Dining Alone.”
The win was totally unexpected. Maggie slowly rose from her seat. Derek pulled her into a hug, then pushed her toward the stage. Her costars nearby hugged her and offered congratulations.
The statue in hand, Maggie stumbled for words. “I didn’t expect this. I really didn’t. I didn’t even write an acceptance speech. Oh, I hope my agent doesn’t hear that.” The audience laughed. “I promised I would.” More laughter. “I want to thank so many people.” Susan was amazed at how many people Maggie named. “And, most of all I would like to thank my best friend who has always believed in me, even when I didn’t, my husband Derek Baxter. This one is for you, Derek.” Laughter and applause followed her off the stage.
Derek left to join Maggie backstage. The remainder of the evening was a blur. Cameras and reporters followed them wherever they went. A round of parties followed. Everywhere she went, Maggie was expected to answer questions and be interviewed. An entourage of studio, press, and well-wishers followed. Around two in the morning, Paul and Susan had enough.
“How do you handle this?” Susan asked.
“I love Derek. He’s very competitive, a trait essential for success as a football player. With success comes fame, interviews, endorsements, well, you get the idea. I prefer leading a low-profile life. That was rough. The hardest part, though, was dealing with his paranoia about his career. We’ve really had to work through some very painful times. Through it all, I never stopped loving him. Times like tonight, this is work for them. It may seem like a party to us, but out here, this is work.”
“It’s hard enough for me to put up with the business lunches and dinners. I don’t think I could do this night after night. Maybe I’ll just sit home and let Maggie party.” Susan yawned. “Can we go? I think I need some sleep.”
*
The next morning was a blur of activity in the house. Maya arrived at seven and Maggie’s agent arrived ten minutes later. By eight, the house was full of people and the phone rang incessantly. Ed called twice.
It was nine in the morning by the time Maggie got home. She was still clutching her Oscar and was truly a star. Susan walked around the edge of the crowd and finally wandered into the kitchen. Would it ever be possible to have a long-term relationship with Maggie? The impact of Maggie’s winning finally sank in. Susan felt the uncontrollable need to flee back to Florida. To her house in Winter Park. To someplace familiar, safe, comfortable. Quiet.
Maggie wandered over and clutched Susan’s hand. “Can you believe it? I even had to do an interview with Katie Couric this morning.” Their conversation ended with someone pulling Maggie away. The remainder of the day was even less encouraging. The studio arranged a press conference to announce Maggie’s next picture, to be made in Florida, followed by a press party.
Susan looked at her ticket and wondered if she should leave early, but she wanted any time she could steal with Maggie. That evening she almost changed her mind. A reporter from Orlando had tried several times to talk with her, and Susan had barely managed each escape…until she was trapped in the women’s restroom.
“Hi, my name is Gina Perry. I believe you came here with M.J. Carson?” Susan tried to head back out the door. “Wait, I just wanted to talk to you. She’s quite an attractive woman, isn’t she? By the way, you didn’t give me your name.”
“Excuse me, but I would like to get out the door.”
“Look, I just thought that since we were both from Orlando, we would just chat and let all those Californians hug and schmooze. You’re the woman in Orlando she’s been visiting, aren’t you?”
Susan ran into one of the stalls. At that moment, she was more debilitated by an overfull bladder. Hoping Perry would leave, she stayed in the stall. When Susan finally exited, Gina Perry was still there, a grinning Cheshire cat.
“This can be just between us girls, but is she good in bed? I’ve heard lots of stories.”
“Please excuse me.” Susan made a more concerted effort to leave, but Perry blocked the door.
“Listen, Carson may think she’s a big star, but no one brushes me off. Do you understand? Now, if you help me, I won’t mention your name. If you don’t cooperate, well, I hope you don’t have any secrets.” Her smile was vicious.
The standoff ended with the entry of Maya into the restroom. “Oh, there you are. I’ve been looking for you.” Maya took Susan’s arm. “You will excuse us, won’t you? Say, you look familiar. Have we met?”
“Yes, a few months ago, I met you in Orlando. Gina Perry.”
“Of course, with Channel 7 in Orlando. How nice to see you again. Have you had a chance to say hello to M.J.? Please, let me get Susan back to her friends and I’ll make sure you get to talk with M.J. Your station probably would like to run an interview.” With that, Susan was escorted safely away.
Susan rejoined Maggie and Derek. “Maggie, I think I’m going to go.”
Maggie was still enjoying the attention and the limelight. “Stay. The parties are just starting. When the staff prepped me on these events, they told me the parties go on well into the next day. I still can’t believe it.”
“Something just happened. Some reporter from Orlando followed me into the restroom.”
“Yeah, I know. Maya told me she was going to rescue you.”
“Don’t you care about Gina Perry and what she’s trying to do?”
“Fuck her. Come on, let’s get something to drink.”
“Maggie, I am trying to talk to you.”
“I don’t want to talk. I don’t care. Forget it. Tonight I just want to celebrate.”
“Even if someone wants to destroy you. Why all of a sudden don’t you care? You’ve been telling me how much you protect your private life.”
“Look,” Maggie said, “I said forget it. Right now I don’t care about some stupid reporter.” One of the repor
ters from a national network feed walked up. “Hang around and have a drink. I’ll talk to you later.” Maggie turned to the reporter and began talking.
“Sorry, she’s a little wound up tonight,” Derek said. “This has been quite an evening. She feels it’s making up for all the years she struggled.”
Susan stared at Maggie and then Derek. “I’m tired. Tell Maggie I’ve gone back to your place.” Fifteen minutes later Maya was driving Susan back to Maggie’s house.
“I saw Perry go in there when you did. Are you okay?”
“Does shark bait have any meaning?”
“Ouch. Sounds pretty bad.”
“She was only interested in my relationship with Maggie. I felt so violated.”
“I saw that viper go in. I’m just sorry I didn’t get there sooner.”
“She seems set on outing Maggie. I can’t believe it. The story around Central Florida is that she’s closeted herself. How could she do something like that?”
Maya pulled into the drive at Maggie’s place. “There are lots of people like her around this place. There are good people too. Just not as many. That’s part of my job. Keeping those people at bay.” She stopped the car and let Susan get out. “Can I do anything?”
Susan walked around to the driver’s side of the car. “Thanks, Maya. No, there’s nothing you can do. I don’t know how you folks live like this day after day. I’ve just gotten a taste and it’s not something I can honestly say I feel comfortable with. Good night.”
Susan changed clothes, putting on lightweight fleece pants and one of her many short-sleeved FSU T-shirts. She sat out by the pool for about an hour trying to read but with no success.
“What the hell am I doing here?”
*
It was after ten the next morning when Maggie and Derek got back from another round of interviews and parties. Paul was nowhere in sight. “What happened to Paul?” Susan asked.