by Trina Solet
"We could take them out to defrost and you could stay for dinner," Trevor said getting nervous as he considered that Diego might say no.
After last night, any sign of rejection from him would hurt more than a blow. Feeling shy and insecure, Trevor didn't know how to keep a cool head around Diego any more. He wasn't used to this. From the highest high, he might plunge into despair if Diego even hinted he didn't want him. This was crazy.
"I can't resist a pork chop. Or you," Diego told him, putting him out of his misery.
Trevor breathed a huge sigh of relief.
"What were you worried about?" Diego wanted to know.
"What if you don't like my pork chops?" Trevor joked. "They were frozen."
From the table, Jamie turned around with his lips stained orange. "Dad likes pork chops. Don't worry, Trevor," he reassured him.
"And this little guy is going to need a bath. Just look at him," Diego said and kissed the top of Zane's head. Zane was a mess of cantaloupe juice.
"At least he's happy now," Trevor said as he wiped off the cantaloupe juice that had dribbled down his chin, down his elbows and everywhere else.
The dinner of pork chops and roasted potatoes turned out well. But when Diego said it was the best pork chop he ever had, Trevor knew he was exaggerating. He wanted to cook Diego a proper, romantic dinner. Or maybe they could go out.
As he was lost in thought, Diego was trying to figure out if any of the potato Zane has squished in his hand had made it into his mouth. Jamie had discovered that Zane lost a sock and was trying to put it back on his kicking foot unsuccessfully. Diego told him to just take the other one off too. Now Jamie wanted to take his own socks off.
"Why are we taking socks off at the dinner table?" Diego asked.
"You told me to do it," Jamie pointed out.
Listening to them through a haze of happy tears, Trevor realized that this was the feeling of being home. Since moving here, he hadn't relaxed enough to think of this place as home. Money worries and the fear of losing Zane kept him on edge. But being with Diego gave him the feeling of being home, a place where he was meant to be, where he belonged, where everything good happened.
If only his father and stepmother weren't trying to take Zane away from him, this would be a truly happy time.
Later when the kids were in bed, Trevor was in the kitchen finally washing the pans he had left to soak in the sink. Diego took the time to go over a few work emails, but now he was just hanging out with Trevor in the kitchen.
Noticing him inching closer, Trevor asked. "What are you up to?"
"I'm just coming over here to lean casually and watch you do dishes. You know how I love to see anybody but me doing dishes."
"You're just waiting for me to turn my back so you can pounce."
"Please," Diego scoffed.
"The kids have been asleep for a whole of two minutes and you're ready to jump me," Trevor accused him.
"What else am I supposed to do? You're right here, aren't you? I can barely contain myself when I'm down the hall. Now you're within easy reach and you're being irresistible." With an arm around his waist, Diego pulled him close and kissed him.
"I'm thinking that you shouldn't worry about new babysitting arrangements. Just let me watch Zane," Diego told him after they took a break from kissing.
"You have work to do. And you saw what happened today," Trevor reminded him.
"That was only for a little while. I got plenty of work done," Diego claimed.
Trevor thought about it. "I still don't want Mrs. Keegan to watch Zane. I want to wait until she's a hundred percent. But I'll text Becky." After a bit he got a reply. "Becky texted that she can keep Zane until it's time for you to pick up Jamie from daycare. If you could pick up Zane at the same time that wouldn't cut into your day as much," Trevor said.
"Sure. That sounds good."
They finalized the details with Becky, and then the two of them sat down on the couch.
"Why are you so reluctant to let me help you out?" Diego wanted to know. "Don't you think this thing between us is for real?"
"Sorry. I don't mean to be like that. I just can't plan for the future. I can't think beyond right now. It scares me," Trevor admitted. "If I lose Zane, I won't be fit for a relationship. I won't be fit for anything."
"You know they say there's always room for dessert," Diego said.
Trevor frowned at him questioningly. "What? Are you hungry for something sweet?"
"No. I was just thinking that you should leave room in your life for good things to happen. When I was adopting Jamie, his grandfather was dying and Simon had just left me. I still went ahead with it."
Now Trevor understood. "I see what you mean."
"I don't mean to push but I am a pushy guy. I like to see you carefree and smiling," Diego told him and kissed his face.
"Not horny?" Trevor teased him.
"OK, even better," Diego said and gave him a kiss on the lips. It was brief and then he grew serious. "I was wondering about the custody case. I assume Zane's father is a non-issue."
"That's one way to put it," Trevor said. "My aunt never told me who he was. She was dating casually for a while but looking for the right guy, someone she could get serious about. In the end, she only found someone for right now. She was sure the guy would never even know he was a father. I think he might have been a one night stand, but she wouldn't want to talk to me about something like that. Mostly she was just so happy to be having a kid."
Diego nodded, maybe relieved. "Another thing. From what you've said, your father was a really terrible parent. I assume you told your lawyer all the sordid details," Diego said. Though he liked to remain positive, it was obvious that mentioning losing Zane had brought his concern to the surface.
"I told him everything I remember, which isn't that much," Trevor said. "When I was taken away from my dad, I was five. It was after I ran into the street and I was hit by a car. I think I must have been running away from him. I know that he beat me."
"You think you were running from him? You don't know what happened for sure?" Diego asked with a deep frown.
"I don't remember much about it, just that I woke up in the hospital. I had a broken leg and a few stitches on my scalp. I recovered OK. Hospital food has a bad rep, but it was better and more than I ever got at home. The nurses kept giving me seconds. After I got out of the hospital, I was put in foster care. It turned out that my dad had done a disappearing act. Until he challenged me for custody of Zane, I never knew what happened to him, or if he was even alive. All I knew was that he never came to see me while I was in the hospital, and that afterward, I didn't have to live with him any more."
"How come you lived only with your dad? What happened to you mom?" Diego asked.
"She died when I was born. I think I lived with my father and his mother for a while, but my grandmother died. I don't remember her very well," Trevor said. He didn't remember her or his mother, or much of his life with his father. The holes in his memory were also holes in his heart. As Trevor found himself growing gloomy, Diego took his hand, reminding him of what he had instead of what was missing.
"You should try to think of something else that will show that your father isn't fit to take care of Zane," Diego urged him.
"He and his wife claim that he is a new man now. They'll say it's ancient history, not relevant any more," Trevor said.
"If what you have is strong enough, that argument won't hold up. The judge and social services people wouldn't want to remove Zane from a safe environment and put him at risk." Diego then smiled apologetically and brought Trevor's hand up for a kiss. "I don't mean to push you."
"No. You're right. This is important. I'll keep trying to remember," Trevor said and Diego pulled him into his arms. Sighing Trevor relaxed a little. Until he found himself in Diego's strong embrace, he hadn't even realized how tense and anxious he was. Diego leaned sideways on the couch and Trevor rested against him.
"Sorry. I shouldn't put mo
re pressure on you. You have enough to deal with," Diego said as he stroked his hair. He could probably tell how wound up Trevor got thinking about Zane ending up with his dad and stepmother.
"No. It's for Zane. You aren't pressuring me. I know you care and I appreciate it. Since we met, you've been there for me. Thank you." Trevor raised his head from Diego's shoulder and gave him a grateful smile and a kiss.
Chapter 16
Jamie was coloring in his room, Zane was sleeping in his playpen in the living room, and Diego was trying to get as much work done as he could while those guys were being quiet. That's when Lance texted him that he was on his way up.
"Don't ring the bell. Zane is sleeping," Diego warned him then went to open the door for him.
"Is babysitting Zane a full time gig for you now?" Lance asked as he and Diego went to his office. "I wonder how Trevor is paying you for your services?"
"Keep your voice down. Zane is napping," Diego reminded him. "And while you're here, help me move my desk. I want it to line up with the door so I can see the playpen when I'm sitting in front to the computer." Diego went to stand behind his desk so he could plan how far to move it.
"So you're rearranging your furniture for Zane. I smell something. There's a suspicious whiff in the air," Lance said while staring right at Diego.
Diego looked away from him and pointed his thumb at Zane sleeping serenely in his playpen. "That's probably Zane. He's always up to something in that diaper of his."
"It isn't Zane's diaper. I'm talking about something good." Lance leaned over his desk and gave him a wicked smile.
"I don't know what you could be smelling. Nothing is cooking," Diego said, carefully keeping his face blank and his voice neutral.
"Stop playing dumb, Diego," Lance said as they carefully shifted the desk and tried not to knock down anything sitting on top of it.
Since he had been so helpful, Diego decided to fess up. "Fine. Things went well after Mrs. Dundee's birthday party. We've done some stuff," he said deliberately keeping it vague.
"Stuff? Did you suck his toes or was it something really kinky?" Lance asked.
"Stop that. You don't get to perv out to my love life," Diego told him.
"As long as you have one," Lance said.
"Since you approve, how would you like to enable us?" Diego asked.
"To do what?"
"Could you babysit Jamie and Zane one evening so Trevor and I can go out? It would be our first date ever. You know Jamie loves it when you babysit. What do you say?"
"You're laying it on thick. Jamie just wants to beat me again at that hellish video game," Lance said.
"It's literally a game for preschool kids."
"Then it's rigged."
"I could hire Trudy or her sister to join you so it's not two against one," Diego said.
"Now you're calling me a wimp. Nah. I can handle it," Lance said but then he frowned. "For the next few days, the best I can do is to watch them until eight o'clock. I have to stay over at the Heinrichsens'. Mr. H had foot surgery and they want me to be there overnight."
Diego thought about it. "I can work with that. What I have in mind is super casual. Like a starter date to put Trevor at ease. He doesn't feel comfortable when I spend money on him."
"That boy is crazy," Lance said and shook his head.
Diego decided that he would book Trudy and her sister for another night so he and Trevor could stay out late, and then he would go all out. "OK. It's a plan. Thanks a lot. And I'll pay double, of course."
"It's a special occasion. You don't need to pay me," Lance said.
"Who just called Trevor crazy and now you don't want to take my money?"
"That's different," Lance claimed. Diego still insisted on paying him but he was grateful to him too.
After Lance left, Diego realized he had to call Erin or face the consequences. Now that Lance knew about him and Trevor, Diego had to tell Erin or she would bludgeon him with her passive aggressive powers.
As soon as she heard the news, she wanted to take shots at him. "I thought you didn't want to get involved with anyone," she needled him. "You were all, 'Can't do it. Won't do it. Not gonna do it.'"
"That was easier when there wasn't a hot young guy tempting me all the time," Diego told her.
"So that's all it took. That's some willpower you've got."
"You've seen Trevor for yourself, and he's an incredible guy on top of that," Diego told her. "I didn't stand a chance. He's so steady and true. He's the guy I've been looking for."
"Glad you went for it. I had my doubts about the two of you. I thought your combined willpower might actually amount to something," Erin admitted.
"I did too. I thought Trevor might shut me down hard. He's not a trusting guy."
"You aren't either. But you jumped that hurdle, I guess. I'm proud of you," she said.
"I wanted a love I could trust and a man I could be sure of. I think Trevor is the one guy I could trust," Diego told her.
"I'm rooting for you guys with my whole cold, dead heart. You better make it work."
"Yes, ma'am," Diego told her.
Having talked about Trevor so much, Diego couldn't settle back into the flow of work without hearing his voice. He texted first to make sure they could talk then he called him.
"Mr. Dundee is having a long lunch, catching up with some old buddy of his, and it's pretty slow right now. What's new?" Trevor asked.
"I've been telling Lance and Erin about us, just so you know," Diego told him.
"Should I be afraid?" Trevor asked him.
"You have nothing to worry about," Diego reassured him. "They were merciless with me since I made such a big deal out of not getting involved because the risk wasn't worth it. But that was before you. I don't think of you as a risk. I believe in you like I've never believed in anyone else. With my whole heart."
There was a long silence then Trevor sort of sobbed. "You can't say things like that. What are you doing to me? You know I'm at work."
"It's not like I was talking dirty to you," Diego said. "But that is an idea."
"No," Trevor snapped.
"Don't worry. There will be time for that," Diego told him with a chuckle. "There are all sorts of things we haven't done yet. I haven't scrubbed your back in the shower. We haven't listened to music together and argued about which bands suck."
"OK," Trevor said, cutting him off. "Showering, arguing about bands. I'll pencil that in. Now keep it clean while I'm at work."
"Listen to you being a good employee, unlike me. You're so calm and rational," Diego said with a sigh.
"Who is calm? I feel like I'm always on the verge of total insanity because of you," Trevor told him.
"That sounds interesting. Tell me more," Diego said in a husky voice.
"You took over my body and my mind until I question my sanity, and you want to hear more about it?" Trevor said.
"Now who is talking dirty?" Diego teased him. "I can't wait to see you. Now we better get back to work."
"Because of you, I won't be able to focus for the rest of the day," Trevor complained.
"Me either. Just remind yourself that we're in this together."
*
Since the night of the party, Trevor lived in a constant state of restless anticipation. When would he be with Diego again? They had spent time together, but only with the kids, nothing intimate. And what Trevor craved was definitely intimate.
Trevor had come home and taken Zane to his place to give him a bath. Then a little later, Diego texted him. Just seeing his name before he even read the text, Trevor smiled.
"The playpen arrived. Come and help me set it up and we can order in," Diego texted.
Trevor picked up what he needed for Zane and the two of them went over. Zane liked Diego's place. There was more stuff to explore, and Diego had done some serious child proofing so it was safe to let him roam a little bit.
They ordered from a place called Chicken Shack. Dinner was fried chicken and mashe
d potatoes with gravy and cheese biscuits. That's what Diego insisted on, but Trevor insisted they make a salad to go with it and some steamed green beans. Looking at all the green, Diego grumbled, "But I was craving beige food."
"Be grateful that I'm saving you from yourself," Trevor told him.
Zane mashed the mashed potatoes even more, while Jamie's job was to try to get him to eat a few tiny pieces of green beans. Jamie only ate a few green beans himself, making weird faces the whole time. Diego got it all on video. When the kids had applesauce for dessert, Trevor offered some to Diego. "It's beige."
Diego didn't take him up on it and went to set up the playpen instead. Hearing him struggling with it, Trevor went over to help.
"You want to do a sleepover here tonight? Can Zane sleep in his playpen overnight?" Diego wondered.
"He has before when I had trouble putting him to sleep. If he fell asleep in the playpen, I didn't dare move him."
"Tonight we can put the playpen in Jamie's room then," Diego said. After a nod from Trevor, Diego told Jamie the plan. "You have a roomie tonight." Then he had to explain what a roomie was.
It was close to Zane's bedtime, and they all sat down on the couch together. Instead of a bedtime story, Jamie got out a photo album that Diego had put together for him. It was full of pictures of Jamie and his grandfather. Lance was in some of them, but Diego only showed up in the later ones. Trevor realized he had to do something like that for Zane too.
Jamie sat between his dad and Trevor, who held Zane in his lap. While Zane wanted to touch and pat every picture, Jamie did his best to turn the pages of the album and tell them about the pictures. "I'm the baby in there. Dad isn't in the picture because he wasn't my dad yet."
"I was a slacker. I was late to the party," Diego said.
"But Grandpa was there. That's him. He has a beard because he's a professor. Professors are teachers for big kids, and they have to have beards. They have to," Jamie said emphatically, as if a professor without a beard would get in big trouble.