Cupid Help Me! (Return to Cupid, Texas Book 4)

by Sylvia McDaniel

  These two were definitely meant for each other. They were hotter than a firecracker. Ready to explode, the sexual tension seemed to vibrate the air around them. One more thing to be envious of.

  Shadow was so happy for them all. The great childhoods, the perfect experiences in college, the relationships that appeared so wonderful, but she wanted the same for herself.

  Childhood and college were a little late to fix, but she wanted a great relationship. She wanted to gaze at a man the way Kelsey stared at Cody. She wanted to give her children a wonderful experience growing up.

  She wanted to give her children a father who helped make memories with them, who was there and wouldn't run at the first sign of trouble.

  Taking a deep breath, she shut down the pity train. Enough. With a sigh, she released the feelings and said a prayer of gratitude. No, her life wasn't perfect, but whose was? And she could have it so much worse. Gratitude. Over and over in her head, she chanted her mantra. Gratitude. Gratitude.

  "Shadow?" Jim said. "Shadow."

  With a jerk, she stared at him. "Yes?"

  "You okay?"

  "Fine. I'm perfectly fine," she said knowing she'd gone into the zone.

  Cody stood from the table. "We should get going."

  "Oh no," Shadow said. "I've been enjoying hearing tales of your childhood."

  "You look tired," Kelsey said. "Let Jim get up with Keiko one night so you can get a full night of sleep."

  While the thought was tempting, she couldn't. Nighttime was their special time, their bonding time and when she left, she wanted to remember the time with Keiko with fondness. Even now, thinking of leaving her made her chest ache. If only there was some way she could keep her.

  "No, I think I need her as much as she needs me," Shadow said and realized that everyone was staring at her. She'd let a personal thought slip.

  Kelsey hugged her. "Keep my big brother in line."

  "We're not attached at the hip," Shadow said, glancing at Jim. "He's own man."

  He smiled at her. "For now."

  Cody and Kelsey walked out the door of the big house and as Jim closed the door behind them, he turned to her. "What's wrong?"

  Jim noticed the longer the meal went on, the quieter Shadow became. At the end, she seemed to disappear inside herself. This wasn't the same vibrant woman who met him at the door each evening and asked him how his day went. Or the one he often found outside in the evenings, gazing at the stars and listening to the coyotes howling. Or the one time he caught her dancing in her room to some imaginary beat.

  Granted, she was different, but the longer she visited, the more he recognized it was a nice, sweet different.

  Glancing at her, he watched the darkening of her green eyes and the way her auburn hair slung casually over her shoulders. With a swipe of her tongue across her lips, she stared at him.

  "Nothing's wrong," she said and got up and started putting the dishes in the dishwasher.

  "Leave those. Maria will do them in the morning."

  Tensing, she whirled on him. "Why would you leave dirty dishes and silverware out all night? It's unsanitary. Why should your housekeeper come in to our nasty mess? No, I can rinse these off and put them in the dishwasher in less than five minutes."

  Oh yeah, something was wrong and he didn't know what, but from the tight expression on her face, he would soon find out. Why did it seem she thought he was inconsiderate leaving Maria the supper dishes? He'd done it for years. The maid would be shocked to come in and find everything spotless.

  At the dining table, he helped her carry the soiled plates into the kitchen. When was the last time he cooked for himself or even cleaned up? For years, he had counted on Maria to run the house for him. Certainly, he was a little spoiled.

  "You don't need to help," she said rinsing the china off under hot water and loading them in the machine. "I'm quite capable of doing it alone."

  "You're right," he replied. "Maria has always done the dishes and I never thought of how unsanitary it is to leave scraps of food out. Before she died, my mother always cleaned the kitchen."

  She gave him a glare that clearly told him his response made him appear like an egotistical jerk. Jim would readily admit to anyone who asked he was well taken care of by his housekeeper, before that his mother.

  But he wanted a wife to take on the chores of the house for him. Not necessarily tidy up after him, but be there. Ideally, someone who ran his home, looked after their children and loved him.

  Bringing the last of the silverware from the dining room, uneasiness gripped his stomach. Was he being a dick. "This is all of them."

  "Great," she said and continued not looking at him. Placing the last of the plates in the machine, she closed it and turned it on. After wiping the counters down and everything seemed spotless, she browsed the kitchen making certain everything was in its place.

  Had he done something to anger her, because she avoided looking at him.

  "Did I make you mad?" he asked.

  A quick glance at him and she shook her head. "No."

  "Well, obviously, you weren't happy about me waiting for Maria to clean."

  Her shoulders sagged and then she glanced at him with tears in her eyes. "Look, I'm not angry, just so freaking jealous, I can't stand it and I don't like the negative feeling. In fact, it's wrong and I hate it."

  Stunned, he stared at her. "Jealous?"

  "Do you have a clue how fortunate you are? A big family support system, friends you've known for a long time, a history in one spot, land and cattle and a maid to clean the house. Of course, I'm not saying you're an entitled asshole by any means, but do you realize how different your life is than most people?"

  Taking her by the hand, he led her into the living area and they sat beside each other on the couch.

  "I'm sorry. I'm being a total bitch and should keep my mouth shut," she said, her gaze dropping down. "My life growing up was so different from what you guys described tonight."

  Like a slap to the face, Jim realized he knew nothing about Shadow's life. Didn't everyone have a positive family and childhood like him? One of his friends told him once he didn't know what he had. How could he disagree. Could his thinking be a little naive?

  "Tell me about your life as a kid. Tell me why you're jealous?" he said, holding her hand.

  "No, my feelings are no big deal. Maybe I'm just having a pity party and I need to suck it up and get over myself."

  Shaking his head at her, he laughed. "Well, occasionally, I think you're entitled to be in the dumps. You're right, I'm fortunate. My parents were happy, we had a wonderful home and the two of them were never far. These days not many kids experience that kind of family life."

  A snort sounded. "You can say that again. My mother was a single parent and not a good one."

  Frowning, he squeezed her hand, his mind imagining the worst.

  "My father didn't think he should stick around for my birth. After all, a young artist needs his freedom and so he left. Years later, he came back into our lives only to leave again," she shook her head.

  "An artist." That was so far out of Jim's understanding he didn't know how to respond. His father had worked the ranch every day. "How did your parents meet?"

  A deep chuckle came from Shadow. "Have you ever heard of Hippie Hollow in Austin? The nude beach?"

  Oh, yes, everyone at the University of Texas knew the place where nude swimming was allowed. It was part of the Austin experience.

  "That's where my parents met. They dated for almost six months and when my father learned of the pregnancy, he left," she said with a laugh. "Sometimes I wonder if his DNA is the reason I'm so different. That I'm a writer using words to paint, rather than oils."

  "Could be," he said, wanting to know more about her. "How about your mother? Did she ever find love again?"

  Looking down at their hands still clasped together, she sighed. "My mother believed in free love and all that other crazy stuff. Every six months or every time her boyfr
iend changed, we moved. Seems Mother has relationship issues and doesn't understand how to stay in a committed one. Her bedroom door revolved on a regular basis."

  "Not favorable for a child."

  "About the time I would settle into a new school and meet friends, we packed up and were on the go again. Finally, I told her enough. Move one more time and I'm going to live with my grandparents. After that, we stayed in one place until after high school. With my grandparents' help, I was able to attend college because I wanted to get away from my home life."

  A sigh escaped her lips. "Most of the time I try not to let things like this upset me. There is no changing the past, but before I ever have children, I will be married and my husband and I will be a stable couple in a dedicated relationship. No divorce, no breaking up and going our separate ways, but sticking it out together through the good times and bad."

  Silence permeated the deafening tick tock of the grandfather clock in the room.

  Squeezing her hand, he gazed in her eyes. "We're not given a choice in what we're dealt when we're born. A life with a vagabond mother, who sounds like she's always searching for happiness, is not something I understand.

  “My parents put a solid foundation beneath my feet and I'm grateful. Look at you, you're educated, you're an author and you don't act like someone who was mistreated. Yet, you believe in some pretty weird things."

  Standing, she walked across the room. "As a child, my mother never abused me. In fact, I think she loved me the best she could, but her focus remained on finding a man, not raising a little girl. Most parents are saddened to see their children leave for school, I think she felt relieved. This was my time in life, she would say to me."

  Watching the well composed young woman, he couldn't imagine the life she described and yet she appeared to have her life together. Of course, he was still waiting on seeing what his brother the lawyer found out about her. Now that he thought about it, maybe he had acted irrationally that night. Maybe he should have learned about Shadow the old-fashioned way - talking.

  "My mother kept calling, asking me when I was coming home," Jim said laughing. "Mom couldn't wait for us to come home from school."

  "Tonight, listening to the three of you, I grasped your childhood was what I desired. Now do you understand why I became dismayed," she said. "While I'm glad you were happy, you had the type of family I always wanted."

  Staring at her, Jim perceived she had to become an adult years ago. Shadow came across as a caring person. "What kind of parent are you going to be?"

  A grin spread across her face and her eyes took on a dreamy hue. Oh yes, the woman definitely wanted her own kids.

  "When my children arrive, there will be a secure environment. Raising them to be decent, self-sufficient, respected adults is my job as their mother. Though, I will always encourage their creativity, I will be firm, there will be boundaries, but mostly the house will be filled with love. At least, that's my dream."

  Shocked, Jim felt a tingle of awareness spiral down his spine. Shadow's words were so close to what he would say were his parenting recommendations. Except for the creativity and he would add the value of work, hard work. Yet, he doubted he would ever have children because he was so far from being with anyone serious enough to start a family.

  "Do you want a family?"

  "Of course. I want to create what I never had."

  "I want to create what I had."

  The silence suddenly awkward as they stared at each other with the realization they both wanted the same things in life.

  A frown crossed her face. "Wait a minute...did you say I believe in some pretty weird things?"

  Crossing the room, he wrapped her in a hug. "Did I say that?"

  "Yes, you did," she said, gazing up at him. The urge to kiss her overcame him and he lowered his mouth until it hovered over her full luscious lips. "Do you believe in crystals?"

  "Yes."

  "Do you do mantras?"

  "Don't you pray?" she asked.

  "Yes, but saying mantras, aren’t you praying to some voodoo god?"

  "It's Hinduism, but I don't think God cares. Prayer is still praying."

  "Personally, I think you enjoy being different," he said, losing himself in her emerald eyes watching them darken with a sensual heat.

  "As long as I feel accepted, I do," she whispered and pulled his head down to hers, kissing him.

  Keiko snuggled deeply into her towel and sucked on the bottle. The little puppy was doing well and already Shadow could see the baby dog had grown. Born a week ago, she now eagerly nursed and went longer between bottles.

  In the wee hours of the morning, Shadow loved holding and watching her. Usually, she ate, then she went to the bathroom and snuggled back to dream in puppy land once again. At ten days old, she should be opening her eyes, but Shadow didn't know if she would be here long enough to see them.

  Shocked, Jim hadn't asked her when she was going, but rather let her stay as long as she wanted and admittedly, she was enjoying her time here. The Cupid story was outlined and already the majority of it was written. There were still a few interviews she wanted to conduct.

  While Jim worked, she finished the erotica book and began the article, which she hoped to turn in right before she left.

  Any day now, she expected Jim to tell her it was time she found a way back to Austin. For some reason, that bothered her. Last night, he kissed her again and this time when he walked up those stairs, the urge to follow him had been fierce. Watching him leave, her body in tune with every move he made urging her to pursue him.

  Now, whenever their eyes collided, a zing of awareness filled her, a drawing sense of need to be close, to come together. The memory of the softness of his lips against hers made her anxious.

  A tingle of cognizance zipped along her spine and she glanced up to see him standing in the doorway, watching her.

  "She's eating well."

  "Yes," Shadow said, her breath constricting at the appearance of his rumpled pajama bottoms slung low on his hips. His dark hair was tossed and his liquid brown eyes seemed to consume her.

  "Couldn't sleep."

  Unable to repress a chuckle, she said, "Me, neither. Then it was time for her feeding."

  "Are you hungry?"

  "It's two in the morning," she said with a laugh. Hunger raged through her, but not for food, but rather him. Just gazing at his muscular physique, she wanted to trail her fingers down his muscled chest. There was so much she wanted to experience with Jim and the thought shocked her.

  "True, but I make some mean scrambled eggs."

  He sat beside her on the couch where she pulled the dog box next to her.

  "The fur on her back is almost white," he said stroking the dog's fur. "Looks to me like she will be a beautiful animal," he said, looking with longing at her in the light of the lamp.

  "Yes," she said, her voice cracking.

  "If I could keep her, I would," she said. "But I don't think my roommates would appreciate me bringing a Lab puppy into the apartment. I'd get kicked out and it wouldn't be fair to Keiko."

  The idea of separating from the dog left her chest aching. How quickly they'd bonded and now she had to break that bond forever.

  "I'll keep her," he said, reaching over and wiping a tear from her cheek. "After everything she's been through, she's very special and she's going nowhere."

  Leaning over she rested her head on his shoulder, relief filling her. "Thank you."

  "Does this mean you're leaving?"

  Hesitant, knowing she'd been here over a week and they only discussed her plans once. Keiko had fallen asleep and she laid the dog back in the box, her hands trembling with nerves. Turning, to Jim, she gazed at him, her heart beating a little faster, her mouth suddenly dryer than the Sahara Desert. Did he want her to leave?

  The air seemed to crackle with tension. "I've been here longer than I intended. Do you want me to go?"

  Staring at her, his fingers reached out and slid across her cheek,
sending a shiver racing to her center.

  "No, I don't want you to go," he admitted, his voice a husky whisper.

  At his words, a thrill spiraled up her spine and then he was pulling her. Pulling her into his arms, her chin towards his mouth and though her mind screamed a warning, her body would not be denied.

  With a pleasing stroke, his lips covered hers and soon became demanding and sensual and drug inducing as he plundered her mouth, creating sensations that left her craving for more.

  Even the kiss earlier this evening had not been as ambitious as the undeniable urgency he created. An urgency that made her limp and pliant in his arms.

  Yanking his lips away, he stared down in her eyes, dragging in air rapidly. "Shadow, what you do to me."

  Never one to share her affections with just any man, there was only one place she wanted to spend the rest of the night. "You do the same for me," she whispered, pushing his T-shirt up and over his head, needing to trail her fingers along his rippled chest. Wanting to grip his buttocks in her hands and wrap her hand around his penis.

  Reaching for her top, she let him slide the garment over her head, her breast exposed to his vision. With a sigh, he gave her a gentle shove on the sofa, his mouth trailing kisses as he sucked her nipple between his lips.

  "Jim," she cried as her blood warmed, prickles of sensation rushing to her center. The graze of his lips had her clutching his head as he laved her breasts. The woman in her recognized there would be fireworks between them. After that first kiss, she knew there was more to Jim Lawrence than any man she'd ever met. That both frightened and thrilled her.

  Lifting his head, he stared as her blood heated. "Shadow, are you certain."

  "Don't ruin this moment by questioning if this is right or wrong. Think of England and carry on," she said breathlessly, yanking him back down to her nipples.

  A languid chuckle emitted from him, but he stopped and rose to a sitting position, leaving her crazy with need.

  "Let's do this right," he said, rising from the couch.