Then her own failed relationship made her wonder if she would ever want to try a second time. Did she want to risk that kind of heartache again? But Jim never once mentioned anything about the two of them. They experienced one night of sex and since then, he had not returned to her room.
Glancing down at the dog, she sighed. Keiko was getting bigger and stronger and any day now Kyle told them her eyes should open. Shadow couldn't wait to gaze into the little dog’s eyes and let her see who took care of her.
The thought of leaving her behind killed her inside and she knew that time would soon arrive, especially when she printed the article about Cupid. Jim would be furious.
Her phone played her ringtone and she glanced down. This was her time with Keiko and she didn't want to be disturbed. The name on the screen said mom and a trickle of annoyance darted down her spine.
Long ago, she accepted her mother and recognized in many ways they were alike. Still, the woman didn't have a clue the world didn't revolve around her and thought Shadow should be right beside her.
Years ago, she realized in order to survive, she needed to separate herself from her mother or be sucked into the crisis of the moment.
"Aren't you going to answer," he asked, looking at the ringing cell.
"No, it can wait," she said, gazing at the dog. "This is puppy time."
"Oh."
"Keiko's almost finished," she said, wishing the phone had never rang.
After she laid the little dog back in her playpen, she rejoined Jim on the couch and picked up her laptop, checking her emails.
"Don't forget your mother called," he reminded her.
How could she forget? One call interrupted their peaceful evening. Now the drama would begin. Pushing the button for voicemail, she replayed her mother's message over the speaker.
"Shadow, call me," she said tearfully. "I need to hear your voice and know you're all right. It's an emergency."
Oh crap, it was one of those kinds of emergencies. Nine out of ten calls she deemed an emergency. Something upset her and she wasn't getting the attention she needed. At this moment, Shadow didn't want to talk with her. Some days hitting messages on her cell was easier than dealing with the neediness.
With a clunk, she dropped the cell back on the table.
"Aren't you calling her back? It's urgent," Jim said, gazing at her like she was mean and heartless.
"You don't understand. All my mother needs to do is say the word emergency and she gets attention. She's not like your parents."
His forehead drew together in a frown and he tilted his head, trying to grasp her world. "Did you have aunts and uncles, other extended family?"
Smiling, she thought of her Connecticut family and how few remained. "In the summer, I spent up to a month with my grandparents. When I left, Mom would have one boyfriend and when I got back, there would be someone new."
With a sigh, she gazed lovingly at the little dog. "As a child, I loved my time at their Connecticut farm. Every time I visited, I would beg them to let me stay. But they had an active retirement life that had no place for a kid. While I was there, I would visit the rest of the family."
One month out of the year, her grandparents worked with her, teaching her what was right and wrong. After they died, she learned they left her money for college. Because of their generosity, she had gotten her education and she loved them for how they helped her.
"What about Christmas? Did you go to the grandparents?"
"No, we spent Christmas alone or with friends. If Mom had a man in her life, we might go to his family, but I always found that awkward. You're not really connected in any way, and they don't know whether to buy you presents. Their clan would look at you strange."
There were so many differences in their lives. He came from the perfect American dynasty and she came from a mother who thought the world was nothing but love and hope and rainbows. Someone who didn't think of family or traditions, and in fact, railed against holiday customs.
Shadow would never forget the time they didn't celebrate Christmas as it was too commercialized. So they hadn't put up the tree or stockings or done any of the things a child enjoyed.
Instead, she woke up that morning to a new dress and a great breakfast, but the next season they went back to celebrating like everyone else.
Jim stared at her phone. "From hearing you talk, I realize our childhoods were totally different. Now, I would give anything to speak to either one of my parents, one more time. Just to hear their voice again, I would break down and cry.
“Give your mother a call. Even if she's being her normal self, at least you'll be satisfied she's all right."
"Okay, but I'm promising you, that's the crazy, I'm alone, needing attention tone."
"Do you ever worry you'll turn out like her?"
Her first response was to tell him all the time, but then she thought better of it. After all, she loved her mother, just not this incessant need for drama.
Shadow started laughing. "In college, my undergraduate degree was in counseling and I took advantage of the program. Learning to understand her, because I feared becoming like my mother. Plus, I wanted my children to keep my sense of beauty and light, but never become desperate for attention, like Mom."
"My father was a rigid man, and at times, growing up, we got crossways. Mother would have to settle us down."
"And now you're a lot like him," she said softly.
"Funny how that turned out. After he died, I had no choice, when I took over the ranch and the obligation of my family. I had a brother in vet school and a sister attending University of Texas in Austin. Taking on those kinds of responsibilities, you quickly fall back on what you've been taught. All that hard-line conservatism my father instilled in me helped."
Staring at one another, his brown eyes intent on her as his fingers hovered over the page for a long time. This felt like a battle of wills. His to make certain she returned her mother’s call and her wanting to enjoy the peacefulness.
"Call her. Make certain she's all right."
"Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you." Picking up her phone, she hit the redial button and then put the call on speaker so he could listen to their conversation.
"Hi, Mom," she said. "Is everything all right?"
"Oh, thank goodness you called. I've been so worried about you. All afternoon I've cried since I found out Lucy was killed."
"Lucy?" Shadow asked suddenly concerned, this had been an actual emergency and not one of her mother's dreamed up crisis.
"From my favorite soap opera, Tomorrow. On television every day. Her car went over the side of the road into the ocean, killing her," her mother said, her voice wobbly like the waterworks were about to begin again.
For a moment, Shadow didn't say anything. Somehow she had to determine if this was a real accident or had they killed the character off the show.
"Wow, I'm sorry to hear that."
"They've written her out. She's no longer going to be on Tomorrow," her mother said.
Good grief. Thankfully, the woman was still alive.
With a tilt of her head, Shadow gazed at Jim shaking her head. Two weeks ago, her treasured weatherman passed away. Now her soap opera character. Grateful she cared, this did not make a family emergency. If only she could make her mother understand not to use that frightening word. In her mind, she needed to speak to Shadow.
It wasn't that she didn't love talking to her mother, just the scare and drama created when all she was crying about was her beloved daytime actress.
"Yesterday, I went to my psychic. She warned me that things are about to change. All day I've been saying my chakra. You should be saying yours as well."
"Everyday, Mother," she said. "I have placed my trust in God that he will watch over me and you as well. Everything else going good?"
"Oh, yes, I worked out at the yoga studio and we have a retreat coming up soon," she said. "The painting I'm working on is turning out much better than I expected. This is sold to
that kind gentleman who owns all the property in Austin."
Growing up they lived in poverty. Fired from one job after another, until her mother went back to painting. Finally, her mother had gotten a break and her paintings now went to auction for thousands of dollars.
"When is your next art show?"
"The broker hasn't said anything recently."
"Well, Mom, I better let you go. Just wanted to check and see what your emergency was."
"Oh, honey, I'm so glad you called," she said. "Love you and hope to see you soon."
"Me, too, Mom."
Hanging up the phone, she stared at him, feeling put out.
Laughing, Jim shook his head and held up his hand. "Don't say it. I concede you were right. This is what I get for interfering."
"You understand now?"
Chapter 8
Shadow was right. Jim had a huge propensity for telling others how to live their lives when his own life was nowhere near what he dreamed of. By now, he expected to have several children, a wife to come home to every night and a thriving architectural firm. Instead, he was lonely and working the ranch he grew up on.
The truck bounced along the road to the house. In the last two weeks, he realized what had he done for Shadow besides give her a place to stay. She on the other hand, made his days brighter, his nights far from desolate and even had him thinking about falling in love again.
Whereas there had been no dates, no restaurants, nothing to advance this relationship if that's what they had. The other night her game of hide and seek that ended with drinks in the old treehouse surprised him and made him feel special and appreciated. Today was his turn. He wasn't so old and lonely he'd forgotten how to date a woman.
Parking the truck, he grabbed the basket of food he picked up at the Braxton Family restaurant and put it in the vehicle along with a blanket. Next, he went into the house and removed a bottle of wine chilling since this morning and a couple of glasses. Carrying them to the ATV, he stored everything.
There were so many other ways he should be spending this afternoon, but he refused to think of his to do list and concentrated on the woman in front of him. A quick glance up at the clouds, he hoped they held off till later.
Springtime in Texas was often turbulent with severe thunderstorms, hail and even the occasional tornado. More than once he remembered being snatched up and taken to the storm shelter as a child.
As he walked back into the house, he saw Shadow putting the puppy into the playpen. "Sleep now Keiko and dream of how big and strong you're going to be."
"That dog is getting fat because you feed her too much," he admonished.
Whirling around, she frowned at him. "Shhh! No negativity around the dog. She's just filling out and growing. Your brother told me she's doing great."
Inside the door, he stood leaning against the door jam, watching her, she had on jeans and a loose cotton sweater that made her breasts look lush and firm. An ache filled him as he longed to reach out and touch those beautiful orbs, but he refrained.
Different from any other woman who had ever been in his life, just looking at Shadow left him hard. The woman smelled of some kind of scent that when he breathed deeply, reminded him of flowers and sunshine.
"Are you busy? I have a surprise."
"What?" she said, her eyes dancing.
"I thought we could drive around the ranch for a bit. Have a picnic and if we have time, I'll show you the back pastures," he said. "On such a beautiful spring day, I thought it would be nice to spend some time together."
In awe, he watched as her eyes light up with delight and she grinned, her cheeks creasing with happiness. "You're taking time off?"
"Yes, I am. We'll need to get back in time to feed the dog, but we've got a couple hours."
"Let me grab a jacket," she said, hurrying into the bedroom.
Over the past few weeks, Shadow had shown him how little time he took for his own pleasure. It was true. The only time he really took was when his brothers and Cody wanted to go fishing. Now, Cody was dealing with spring calving season and Kyle was grappling with a possible epidemic. Kelsey was happily working in her boutique.
Everyone was involved with life, except Jim. Why, when he looked forward into the future, all he saw was a bleak, lonely time until Shadow came along. Maybe they weren't meant to be together forever. Today he intended to savor the time he spent with her. This was their time.
Walking back into the room, she held her jacket, her phone and a hat. "Let's go. Are we riding horses?"
"Since you don't know how to ride, I thought we'd go in the ATV," he said. "Today, we'll just enjoy the scenery."
Looking at the puppy, she sighed. Grabbing her by the hand, he led her out the door. "May I ask what brought this on?"
Shrugging, he gave her a sideways glance. "You're right. I'm way too serious and never really relax."
"Wow, I think I'm going to enjoy today. We've just started and I'm right already."
With a smile, they walked through the house outside to the covered parking area where the vehicle was parked. Grinning, he helped her into the ATV, then reached down and clicked her seat belt and tightened it. "Are we planning on going fast."
"No, just being cautious."
Jim always made sure his passengers were secure. The thought of someone getting hurt frightened him.
Once inside, he strapped himself in and started the motor. "And we're off," he said, pressing the pedal as they shot forward.
The vehicle bounced its way through the pasture. Finally, he came to a stop on top of a ridge. Below, the Brazos river meandered through the trees.
"Oh, that's beautiful," she said. "It looks so peaceful."
"Now," he said. "There are times it overflows its banks and can cause havoc. Our lunch spot is at the bottom."
"How are we going to get down there. We're up high."
"Let's jump," he said, teasing her.
"Let me out," she said, reaching for her seat belt.
Placing his hand on her arm, he halted her. "I'm kidding. There's a trail we'll ride that is a gentle slope down. It's all right."
Her eyes squinted at him and then she hit him on the shoulder. "Stop, you're not playing fair. You scared me."
"I'll make up for it later, I promise," he said and leaned over and gave her a kiss on the nose.
With a tilt of her head, she gazed at him. "Who are you and what have you done with Jim Lawrence?"
"After that comment, maybe I will take you over the edge," he gave the vehicle a little gas.
"No," she shrieked.
Turning the ATV, he pressed the pedal and they took off down the trail. Rounding the corner, it became a downhill descent that weaved back and forth across the hill. So as not to scare Shadow, he slowed the ATV as they descended toward the river.
At the bottom, he found a flat area near the water and turned the vehicle off. In the quiet, the river gurgled along, the occasional splash where a fish jumped. Shadow sat in the ATV with her eyes closed, breathing deeply and letting her breath out slowly.
"Something about the sound of water is so soothing and relaxing," she said. "Close your eyes and sit quietly for a moment and tell me you don't find a sense of peace."
To him sitting here with his eyes shut, listening to the babble of water sounded weird, but he did what she asked and soon, his heartbeat slowed and he listened to the birds calling to one another in the trees. An animal rustled in the grass nearby and he opened his eyes, his protective nature reminding him dangerous predators lived around here.
Carefully, he scanned the banks and watched as a bunny hopped away from them. "Shadow," he said quietly. "Look, a rabbit."
Her eyes slid open and she sighed. "Oh, he's so small."
"His burrow must be somewhere close," Jim said. "Come on, I'm starving. Let's eat."
Hopping out, he grabbed the blanket and the basket of food. "Let's sit under that oak tree over there."
"All right."
"Before we
spread the blanket, first check for signs of any rattlesnake holes and ant mounds.” After walking the area, he shook out the cloth and laid it on the ground. Sinking down, he sat beside Shadow. While she opened the picnic basket Taylor had been so kind to prepare, she handed him the bottle of wine.
"Oh, you brought pinot grigio," she said.
"Yes, you are the first woman I've taken on a picnic and I wanted it to be memorable."
Whatever time they had together, he wanted to treat Shadow special. He wanted her to feel like she was the only woman in his world. And she was.
The sun glinted off the highlights in her hair and she faced him, her emerald eyes shining. "Why haven't you dated more?"
"Just who would you have me date? Where would I meet these women? Cupid is not exactly a hotbed of singles."
Laughing, she gave him a carefully wrapped plate before reaching into the basket and pulling out her own. "But there is the statue, which from what I'm hearing has put lots of people together."
"I don't believe in that mumbo jumbo. Who would even consider such nonsense. That old wives’ tale should have died long ago."
"Then explain to me why all these people are claiming it joined them with their true love?" Shadow responded.
Taking a bite of his sandwich, he waited until he finished chewing before he responded. "People like the idea of falling in love because of some unforeseen circumstance. It's not real."
Her face tightened, her green eyes flashing. "You believe that, even after what happened to your sister and Cody, Taylor and Ryan, Meghan and Max?"
"They all wanted to fall in love and just came upon one another at the fountain or because of the statue. Hocus pocus, legends, superstition, folklore, or anything else you want to call it is not the reason they're together."
"So you're not going to find love because of your dance around the God of Love?"
With a frown, Jim realized if the legend were accurate, Shadow was his true love and while he enjoyed her company, they had a wonderful time together, but were totally opposite. She was light and fairy dust, and his feet were entrenched in concrete, holding him firmly to the ground.
Cupid Help Me! (Return to Cupid, Texas Book 4) Page 10