From the time he was a little boy, his father had rooted in him a sense of responsibility and obligation. So why couldn't he commit to Shadow? Why couldn't he love her?
They were so different.
"No, I don't believe in that nonsense. When I find the right girl, who believes in the same principles in life as I do, who understands the importance of family and commitment, then if I think we're a good pair, we'll fall in love and I'll marry. But never because of some statue."
Shadow shook her head, her emerald eyes flashing a disturbing dark green. Had what he said agitated her?
"How many times have you fallen in love?"
"Once," he said honestly. "Chrissy died in a car accident or we would be married now."
"I'm sorry," she said. "How long ago was that?"
"We were both in college."
Lifting the glass to her lips, she took a sip. In fact, she seemed to almost chug the stuff and he could see her eyes filled with tears.
"What's wrong? What did I say that upset you?" Picking up her empty glass, he poured her another cup of wine. "It looked like you wanted to cry," he said.
The wine glass sat precariously by her knees and she lifted it to her full mouth and took a long draught. Finished, she twirled the glass between her fingers.
"No, you helped me," she said with a sigh as she put her wine glass on the blanket. "You helped me realize I will never be enough for you. I could be waiting till that damn statue turned to life and ran down the street."
Drawing in a breath, she faced him, her eyes flashing with anger. "The reason you can't find love is because you are not open to the emotion. You erected a fortress around yourself that no one can penetrate.
“The walls are so high and you're afraid to take a chance to let anyone in. Even if you danced around that statue twenty times, you'll never find love. Until, you're willing to be vulnerable, even the perfect girl with all the right credentials couldn't help you. Don't worry, I'll never be that girl."
There was a finality to her voice as he watched her, sigh and turn her face away from him.
Stunned, he sat there, his heart clenching like it was under attack. As much as he wanted to disagree with her, he knew she was right. Chrissy’s deadly car crash killed a piece of him. Since then, he never let another woman close enough to hurt him again.
Shadow had come closer than anyone. But they were too different.
Yet, he complained about being lonely. Yes, women in town had approached him and several even tried to chase him. And he bluntly ended their endeavor to get too familiar.
Silently, he let her contempt and her words roll over him like a huge wave of truthfulness. Damn, but she was right.
A quick glance at her watch, and she started picking up their picnic. "Let's get back so I can feed Keiko."
Where had he gone wrong? What began as a wonderful idea, suddenly went astray. Wanting to spend time with Shadow, but for what reason?
Yes, she was smart, funny, and beautiful - but she had a weird lifestyle: she believed in mantras, chakras and things he'd never heard of before.
And then he knew.
Like a slap upside the head, he wanted to experience again, what they shared several nights ago. Jim's chest tightened until he feared he was having a heart attack. He longed to be back in her arms, in her bed. But why? If he didn't consider her good enough for a relationship, why did he want to entice her back into his bed?
Since yesterday's picnic, Shadow had been edgier than a pole cat. The article on the Cupid statue was written and in the final editing stages. Keiko was now feeding every six hours, so the little pup needed her less and less. This morning Keiko’s eyes opened and she stared at Shadow so adoringly that she dreaded leaving the dog behind.
Jim's words about the superstition upset her yesterday and she'd spent the night and even part of today trying to understand why she was so disheartened with him. So he didn't believe in dancing around the God of Love, and sometimes neither did she. But the evidence was clear that many people had found love because of that silly dance and now she didn't know what to conclude.
So why did what he said cause so much anguish?
If I find the right girl, who believes in the same principles in life as I do, who understands the importance of family and commitment, then if I think we're a good pair, we'll fall in love and I'll marry.
Why had those words crushed her heart and brought tears to her eyes, making it difficult to hide her feelings? The foolish man wanted to unite with someone exactly like himself... not a girl like Shadow, who did yoga, chanted mantras and lived a life of happiness and love. Oh no, this man thought he needed someone who would never challenge or disagree with him. But he would never find the perfect girl.
A sharp sound echoed from her phone and she picked it up. A weather alert. She ran to the window and glanced out. Dark clouds filled the western sky. Opening the door, she walked outside and scanned the horizon. The birds no longer tweeted and an ominous heavy stillness hung in the air. Glancing at her phone, she saw the message. Tornado warning for Palo Pinto county. Seek shelter immediately. Tornado on the ground.
That couldn't be good.
Gazing out toward the pasture, she kept hoping to see all the workers, including Jim, riding in to get out of the storm. The grass waved, the field empty. This morning his plans had been to fix the fence where the fire had damaged it. The vision of a tornado sweeping down out of the sky sucking him up, sent fear spiraling through her chest. For her own peace of mind, she needed to warn him.
Like a bolt of lightning struck her, she comprehended why his words pained her. Understanding dawned, and she knew why she felt so crushed. She loved, Jim and wanted him to love her after he danced around the fountain. With startling clarity, she realized she wanted the superstition to be real.
And his walls were so highly erected, he didn't even consider her for love and never would. No, he wanted a woman who thought and shared the same emotions he did and Shadow would never conform. In the face of his narrowness, she clung to her uniqueness even more.
No matter how he felt about her, she had to bring him in before he got hurt because that's what a woman in love did for her man.
Maria had left for the day, so there was no one at the house to tell where she was going.
With a touch on her phone, she called Jim on his cell. No answer. The ATV sat parked in the corner of the drive and she ran over to the vehicle and jumped in. Thank goodness, the keys were in the ignition.
Frightened out of her mind, she turned the key, and backed the lightweight, ATV out of the carport. With a press of the gas pedal she hurried in the direction of where they'd seen the fire as the sky began to turn an iridescent green.
Only a fool would go out in a severe storm like this. Only a fool in love would risk her own life for a man who would never make her his wife.
What if he wasn't there? What if he'd already left and was on his way back home? People in love did the damnedest things.
As soon as Jim watched the skies turn that dark turquoise blue, he knew. Time to get his men back to the house, to shelter.
"Let's go," he called to the hands pointing to the clouds.
Everyone saddled up and rode at a brisk pace to get out of the approaching storm's path. When the weather alert went off, one glance at his phone had him shouting to his men.
“Let’s go," he said. "Tornado on the ground."
Riding hard and fast they raced across the fields to reach the safety of the barn and house.
Just as they rode into the pens surrounding the barn, thunder sounded, letting them know the storm was closing in. The first thing he noticed was the ATV no longer sat under the carport. Its tracks headed in the direction he'd ridden this morning.
Jumping from his horse, he ran to the house and opened the door screaming, "Shadow?"
Nothing.
Hurrying back outside, his men were busy unsaddling the horses. "Let them loose in the pasture. They'll be safer than in
the barn. I'm going after Shadow."
He jumped in his truck, started the engine and gunned it, knowing if it began to rain, the vehicle could get bogged down in the mud.
What the hell was she thinking? Two minutes later, lightning struck a tree nearby, sending sparks flying.
Then he saw her. Doodling along at a steady pace seeming oblivious to the wind and lightning. Honking his horn, she turned to gaze at him, her eyes wide. A hailstone the size of a softball bounced off the hood. The ATV's roof would never hold up if the ice continued to pummel the ground.
Another hailstone rebounded off the dirt in front of him.
Pulling the truck up as close to the ATV as he could and still be able to open the door, he rolled down the window.
"Get in," he screamed as the wind rocked the small vehicle.
"What about the ATV?"
"Leave it. Come on."
Where there was hail, that twister should be nearby, he thought, glancing at the skies nervously. Rippling clouds the color of the sickening green tile in the high school bathroom filled the sky.
Quickly, she jumped out of the ATV and climbed into the passenger seat, a hailstone slamming into her arm. "Ouch."
Hitting the gas, the tires spun as he turned the truck back toward the house. Anger rose inside him, fear gripping his stomach and he swallowed. "What the hell are you doing? There's a damn tornado on the ground and you're out in the ATV."
"After I called you and you didn't answer, I went searching for you to tell you about the storm," she said screaming back at him. "I was so freaking worried about you."
She'd been worried about him? She came after him to tell him a tornado was coming? How did he stay angry when she left to go after him?
"We saw the clouds gathering and decided to call it a day," he said driving faster than he should, but hurrying before they became stuck. The wind gusted, rocking the truck, and a tree limb snapped and flew to the ground near them.
"Damn, this weather is fierce," he said just as he witnessed debris flying through the air. Confused for just a second before his brain fathomed what he was seeing. "Dear God, there's the tornado."
Far enough away, that he didn't think there would be any damage to the ranch house but frightening to witness. Still, the awe inspiring sight tore through the pastures to the north of him. Away from the town of Cupid and his neighbors. Spinning in empty pasture land.
Hail ricocheted off the roof, the hood, the fenders, smashing into the windshield causing a web of cracks to appear. Almost back to the house and yet he couldn't take his eyes off the twister traveling parallel to them less than a quarter mile away.
"Jim," Shadow screamed, her voice filled with terror. "What if it changes directions?"
"Then we're in trouble, but I'm hoping it just keeps heading east or better yet, dissipates."
The faint sound of someone mumbling could barely be heard in the cab over the wind and the hail. He glanced over. Shadow had her eyes closed speaking softly to herself. The words protect and keep us safe came to him and he realized she was praying or saying one of her mantras or whatever she did when she got scared.
The woman was wacky, weird, but the sound of her voice praying for their protection left him warm inside.
The vehicle bounced up on the driveway and hailstones covered the lawn. The roof would need to be checked for damage.
"Do you want to go to the storm cellar?" he asked. The danger seemed to have passed, but he wanted to make sure Shadow no longer felt concerned. Even the hail was dwindling with nothing but a hard rain and lightning flashing around them. The tornado had dissipated like smoke from a candle.
"Not without Keiko," she said.
"I think we're okay. I'll keep an eye on it and if we need to, we can make a mad dash. Let's get inside," he said glancing at her.
Hopping out at the same time, they ran the short distance to the house, being pelted by the water droplets and even a few ice pellets. Splashing through the puddles, by the time they made it to the back door, they were drenched.
Stepping into the mud room, he started to shed his wet clothing, like he always did when he came in dirty or soaked. Shadow followed suit, yanking off her wet jeans, her shirt. When Jim was completely nude, he reached for Shadow.
The woman had gone looking for him in a storm, afraid he didn't know a tornado was brewing, putting herself at risk to find him. No one had ever done anything like that for him. Because of her concern, she could have been hurt.
His hands gripped her wet hair and he brought her lips to his, holding her face in place as his mouth ravaged hers. With his kiss, he did his best to express his gratitude, his need, his love.
Freezing, he stopped kissing her and she opened her eyes and glanced at him. "What's wrong?"
What could he say? That he'd fallen in love with a woman who expressed her exuberance for life in so many different ways. A woman unselfish, kind and gentle with few boundaries, but put others before herself.
"Damn, I could have lost you today," he said, his voice gruff, his chest tight with fear.
Twisting her around, he slammed her against the door, his lips consuming hers like a man starved. He took her hands in his and raised them over the top of her head, pinning her to the door, while he plundered her full and inviting mouth.
Needing the caress of her flesh against his skin, the touch of her body against his, he leaned in letting her feel his hardness. Like this was where she belonged, she fit in the hollows of his body's embrace and he marveled at the way they melded together. Leaving her mouth, he nibbled his way down past her ears to her neck.
"You smell so good," he said, taking a deep breath of her, his cock hardening as he made his way to the swells of her breast.
The thought of her being sucked into that twister had fear clutching his gut. Already once in life, fate had taken someone he loved; he couldn't bear to lose another. Longing to bury his face in her cleavage he tried to remind himself to slow down. Take deep breaths.
Finally, dropped her wrists, wrapping her face in his hands, and brought her lips to his again. Like he was dying of thirst and she was his fountain, he pushed his tongue through and caressed her sweet lips. She tasted of pleasure, and he sampled her mouth.
Pushing him away, her breathing harsh, her eyes large with wonder. "The bedroom?"
Pulling her to him, kissing the back of her neck, nipping her gently with his teeth, he asked, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," she whispered, her voice husky with need.
Fearful she would change her mind, he took her by the hand, and led her down the hall to the room where she stayed.
"Shadow," he drawled, wanting her more with each passing minute, his manhood swelling, his blood pulsing and centering between his legs. Both naked, they stood staring, testing one another to see if the feelings vibrating through the room were real.
Love spilled from his heart and he wanted to say those three little words, but not before she was aware this was not in response to the threat they faced this afternoon.
"Oh, Jim," she said.
Moving toward one another, arms outstretched, they came together, flesh against flesh, and Jim grasped her like the earth needed rain. His mouth claimed hers as he led her to the bed. They landed tangled together on the quilt.
"Slow down, we've got all night."
"Easy for you to say," he groaned, the silken ply of her skin, making his blood pulse with need.
Slowly he moved his palm down her body, caressing her satiny skin until he found her breasts. The caress of her flesh, her nipples tightening beneath his fingers, was almost too much to bear.
Restless nights dreaming of her just like this, lying in his bed, his hands and mouth teasing her until she cried out his name had interrupted his sleep. Now here they were together again.
That had been a dream, and this was reality. The first time had been fun, but this time seemed special. This time seemed like they were deciding on forever and that frightened him.
A
low, growl, a need to claim her as his vibrated through him as he caressed the pebble of her nipple. Soft as satin, her skin, delicate as a rose bud in bloom, as he trailed his hand over her mounds eliciting a groan from him.
His mouth sought her breasts as he savored the taste of her. With a gasp, she arched her back, her hands grabbed his hair and held him prisoner to her hardened kernel.
A strong woman who defied peril when it came to the people she cared about, Jim had never known anyone like her before. The type of woman a man would be proud to call his and she would always have his back.
Who would care for their children, be a great helpmate and wife. And challenge him every step of the way. Yet telling a woman like Shadow he loved her gave Jim pause.
Different as dirt and water, land and sky, day and night, their life would never be boring.
Skimming his hand down her body, past her ribs, past her belly button, down her smooth stomach, to the wispy curls covering her womanly folds, he caressed her. A throaty moan escaped as he slid his fingers into her moist center.
Like a life raft, she clung to his naked back, running her hands across his shoulders, down his muscles, leaving hot trails of desire branding him. Tossing her head from side to side, her auburn hair splayed across the pillows.
"Jim," she moaned, sending passion rippling through him, his lungs seizing, his mind unable to fathom the way this woman made him feel. Like a man, a real man for the first time in years.
"Kiss me, Jim," she demanded, her mouth searching for his again.
Wanting to consume her, he moved his lips over hers. When she said his name, like he was the only person she needed and wanted, he loved it. Like he was the one person in this world she could depend on.
He wanted to give her everything. He wanted to fulfill all her wishes and have those emerald eyes look at him like he was a man she believed in.
Placing her hand on his cock, she wrapped her fingers around him, her touch burning all the way to his heart. Sliding her hand up and down his shaft, his world shifted beneath his feet.
Cupid Help Me! (Return to Cupid, Texas Book 4) Page 11