[Marvin's] World of Deadheads

by Paul Atreides

  Marvin feared his mind would explode. Tears streamed from his face and, for a while, the crying started to sound like the crazy, uncontrollable laughter of a lunatic. He recoiled from it and sobbed in fear of what he’d become.

  After what seemed a lifetime, light began to creep back into his vision. When he came back to consciousness and glanced around, the deli was closed; the lights were all turned out, the doors locked, and he stood in front of Jason and Nancy alone. Outside, the street was empty and lamplights glowed through halos of mist.

  “This is what happens. This is where ‘the bad guys,’ as you put it, are contained. This is how we police the world and our own. Do you understand now, Marvin?” Jason asked him.

  Marv gave a slow, definitive nod. His body beyond exhausted, a sadness threatened to devour him.

  Nancy recognized the change that crept over Marvin and saw the spark had gone from his eyes. She turned to Jason. “Will he be all right?”

  Holding Marvin in his gaze, Jason responded with a tentative nod.

  “What do you think will happen to him?”

  “He’ll eventually ask to leave, like all who grow weary here. When he does, Teresa, or others like her, will come to him, welcome him, offer him the peace he seeks.”

  Nancy let out a soft sigh. “I wonder sometimes why I couldn’t have been chosen to be one of them.”

  Jason looked at her with a gentle smile. “Because we need strong ones like you; strong enough to hold what can never be freed, never allowed to be set out in the world again.”

  “Did you show him everything? Did you show him…”

  “No. Do you think he deserves that favor?”

  Nancy nodded. “I do. There’s such good in him, Jason. There’s love, pure and genuine; I’ve seen it. Without hope, it’ll dissolve.” She waited for him to respond. “Can I show him?”

  “Isn’t that something for Teresa to provide?”

  “Everyone deserves at least a glimmer of hope.”

  Jason held Marvin locked in his stare though he spoke to Nancy. “You’re a whole new breed of Keeper, aren’t you, girl? I suppose you can try. Maybe it could be a better way.”

  Nancy walked to Marvin and tried to look him in the eyes. But when she came between him and Jason he turned his gaze to the floor. She put a hand under his chin to lift his face and he shut his eyes, turning away. Tears flowed down his cheeks.

  Marvin’s entire body trembled. “I can’t. Not again.”

  Her voice came to him in soft tones. “Marvin, look at me. I promise there will be no pain this time.”

  Marv raised his head and opened his eyes, an expression of fear and concern swept across his face.

  -49-

  Marvin wandered the streets for hours after Jason and Nancy left him standing alone in the deli. The sadness lifted, but the fear remained. Visions and sounds that he couldn’t shake still clouded his mind.

  It was noon when he found himself standing in front of his building. Upstairs, he undressed and stood under the hot spray of the shower until the water ran cold. He took the towel from its hook, the one Jenna had kept laundered and at the ready as if she still expected him to come home from a business trip. He rubbed himself dry, hung the towel and threw his clothes under the bed just in case he slept too long and Jenna came home from work. He opened the closet, took one of her blouses from its hanger and laid himself down on the bed, the blouse clutched in his grip.

  He closed his eyes and begged sleep to take him. The sights and sounds Jason had subjected him to would not leave him alone. He fought against them, forced himself to think of other things; trying to focus on the things Nancy had shown him, because from what he could recall they seemed pleasant, and the only specific thing he could remember was an image of a truck, lying upside down with its wheels spinning.

  It wasn’t until his mind wrapped around memories of an evening with Jenna that the horrors eased away. It had been shortly after she’d moved into the condo. One that became more and more rare — much too rare as far as he’d been concerned. They sat on the balcony, holding hands in silence, sipping on glasses of wine, enjoying the masterpiece of the setting sun. She turned to look at him with a gentle and loving smile. And he drifted off to sleep.

  Complete darkness had set in by the time he woke. Before he even opened his eyes, he smiled; he could smell Jenna and knew she was lying next to him. He sat up and watched her sleep for the longest time before he pulled his clothes on. He hung her blouse back in the closet exactly where it belonged, then stood in the doorway of the bedroom. “Okay, Jen… I’ll see ya soon, okay?” He turned to leave but hesitated once more. “I love you, Jen.”

  -50-

  Mike wandered out of his bedroom at the hotel, a big yawn forced his eyes shut so he didn’t notice Marvin sitting on the couch, feet propped on the coffee table.

  Marvin, caught up in some mental exercise or reverie, didn’t become aware of Mike until he heard the rattle of cups and smelled the coffee brewing. “Hey.”

  Mike almost dropped his cup. “Marvin!” He put the mug down and ran to the living room. “Holy shit!” He pulled Marvin up off the couch and gave him a bear hug.

  Marv endured it as long as he could. “All right, all right. Enough already.” He pushed Mike away. “What was that for?”

  Mike laughed and slapped Marvin on the shoulder. “Goddam, Broudstein, we were beginning to think you were a goner.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  Mike studied Marvin’s face for any trace of planned deception. “Are you kiddin’ me, Brody?”

  “Uh…” Marv spread his arms in ignorance.

  “Don’t you remember being in the diner when Nancy and that old man came in?”

  Marvin shivered. “What, you think I can’t remember as far back as yesterday?”

  “Uh, Brody, that was like…five days ago.”

  Marvin screwed up his face in disbelief. “It couldn’t be…” His eyes glazed over for a moment. “So, what day is it?”

  “Saturday.”

  “Jesus H. Christ.” Marv fell back to the couch and looked up at Mike, who stood there with a concerned expression. “Really?”

  “Really. You look stunned, Brody. Here,” Mike headed for the kitchen. “Let me get you some coffee.”

  “Yeah. Thanks.”

  Mike returned with the coffee, sat on the chair opposite Marvin, and leaned in ready to absorb every detail of the past five days. “So, what happened? My God, Tommy and I went back every day. No other deadheads would even go near the place. The three of you just stood there, looking at one another. No one moved a muscle, not even the twitch of an eye, man! It was like, I don’t know, like you were all made out of granite or something. And you kept fading.”

  “I was fading?”

  “Yeah, it was weird. You got…I don’t know…blurry and dark. I swear, we thought you…”

  “What?”

  “Well, on Tuesday night, you were so…black, I guess…we thought you would disappear completely.”

  “Black, yeah.” Marvin shivered again at the memory of the darkness that had almost consumed him.

  “So, what…what was it? What happened?”

  “Where’s Tommy?”

  Mike nodded toward the bedroom. “Still sleeping. Last night was the first time he’s slept since Monday. He was really worried about you. Then when we went back to the deli last night and you and Nancy and the old guy were gone, he really lost it.”

  “He sees we’re all gone, he loses it and sleeps?”

  “You didn’t let me finish. So, then, he looked out across the street and saw the old guy staring at him. Two seconds later, he was the old Tommy with a big grin on his face. He wouldn’t say anything about you except, ‘he’s okay.’ He couldn’t — or wouldn’t — tell me how he knew. He just kept insisting you were fine now.”

  Marvin smiled and nodded.

  “Brody!”

  “What!?”

  “Tell me what happ
ened!”

  Marv looked down at the floor. “Let’s wait for Tommy to get up. I can only do this once, Mike.”

  Mike placed his cup on the table, stood, and hollered as he headed for the bedroom. “Tommy? Tommy!” He stopped in the doorway, “Tommy, get your ass up! Come on, haul it out.”

  “Ah, dude…let me sleep.” Tommy rolled and pulled the sheet over his head.

  “Marvin’s here.”

  Tommy threw off the sheet and hurled himself from the bed. He moved so quick, Mike wasn’t able to get out of his way fast enough to avoid Tommy running through him.

  “Damn!” Mike pressed his hands to the sides of his head. “Don’t do that!”

  “Sorry!” Tommy hollered moving in Marvin’s direction. With arms outstretched, he jumped into the air, yelled “Marvin!” and landed on Marv so heavy, he sank right through him and ended up with his face in the cushion.

  Marv tried to roll out from under the entanglement. “Hey! Watch it, ya schmuck! What the hell are you doin’? Get outta me!”

  Tommy came up in a fit of his infectious giggles. Neither Marvin nor Mike could stop themselves from joining in.

  “Marvin! Dude! Whew. I wondered how much longer it would be. I mean, the old dude didn’t really tell me anything! And Nancy was nowhere to be found. I mean nowhere! She fled the scene before I knew it.”

  Mike came back out of the kitchen and held out a cup of coffee. “Here Tommy. You look like you could use some of this. You know, you don’t seem awake enough yet.”

  Tommy accepted the cup with a laugh and quick thanks and sat on the couch next to Marvin. “Okay. I’m ready. Spill it.”

  The smile disappeared from Marvin’s face. He hesitated, inhaled as deep as he could and held it for a moment. “I don’t know how much I can tell you, really. I mean without getting myself into some deep shit. And believe me, I do not want to go through even a little taste of that again.”

  Mike couldn’t take Marvin’s pause any longer, “Well, just tell us what you think is okay.”

  Marv looked directly at Tommy. “All I can say is, you were right. There are consequences. And I know what happens if…well, let’s just say…I know where they keep the bad guys now.”

  “Can you tell us where it is, Brody?”

  “In him. In Jason — that’s the old man’s name.”

  “In him? Dude… that is heav-ee.”

  “Well, in ones like him; there are other…keepers. I think that’s the term they used.”

  “Why was Nancy there? Did she explain what she was doing with him, Brody?”

  With a nod of his head, Marvin answered Mike’s question without looking at him. “She’s going to be one. She’s going to replace him.” Marvin mused more to himself than to his friends, “I wonder if that’s why she was on the cruise in the first place; to size me up. No wonder she told me then that she harbored no illusions.”

  “So, let me understand this, Brody. She was there to help Jason?”

  “I guess… You know, she showed me…”

  Tommy prodded for him to continue. “What, dude, what did she tell you?”

  Marvin’s face turned up in surprise and slight confusion. “Huh, that’s strange... You know, I don’t know. I can’t remember exactly, I just remember something about a truck. Weird, huh?”

  “Wow… That is far out, man,” Tommy let out a low whistle. “Hey! What happens to the old dude? Where’s he going?”

  “I don’t know. They didn’t explain that, and I didn’t ask. I don’t think I want to know. I learned more than I ever wanted to; more than I should have.”

  “So, what happens now?”

  “With what?”

  Mike shrugged. “Jenna. I mean, now what?”

  “Nothing. She lives, she works, life goes on. And we go on.”

  “That’s it? You’ve finally come to your senses?”

  “Hey, look, I…don’t get me wrong. I’d be more than thrilled if she was, uh, here. But Tommy, you were right: If I had succeeded, she would be here and I’d be gone. And what would be the point of that?” Marvin thought for a second and amended his statement. “And if it wasn’t for Nancy, I’d be gone anyway just for trying.”

  “Oooo. How so, dude?”

  “I think she talked him out of it. Did you hear him when he first told me to walk over to him?”

  Mike shivered. “Yeah, it was creepy. Who would’ve thought that big voice could come out of a guy that old?”

  “Did he seem to get any taller or bigger to you?” Marv looked from one friend to the other.

  Tommy laughed. “Holy crap, are you kidding? That’s when everyone else scattered. Dude, you should’ve seen them all turn tail and run. One guy ran right through the hot grill! That musta warmed his buns.”

  Marv didn’t laugh. “Yeah, and then what were you able to hear or see?”

  “I know his size started to dwindle down a bit, but really, dude? All I could see was you getting fuzzy and dark. Scared the living shit outta me. Reminded me of a really bad acid trip I took once. No lie. I would’ve run, but I couldn’t. It was like…my feet were glued to the floor or something.”

  “I couldn’t move either… Hey! Do you think this guy held me and Tommy because we were going to be next?” Mike shuddered.

  Marvin turned his gaze to Mike. “Why would he do that?”

  “Because we tried to help you, Brody!”

  Tommy’s head began nodding in agreement. “That’s got to be it.”

  “But, then why weren’t we put through the same as Marvin? Why did he let us leave?” Mike wondered aloud.

  “I don’t think he let us do anything, dude. Didn’t you hear him say ‘Get out.’?”

  “No, all of a sudden my feet started to move and I was out of there. When I turned around, you were right behind me Tommy.”

  “Well, I never heard him say anything to anyone but me. I knew he and Nancy were talking, but I couldn’t hear all their words. Maybe he figured he’d scared you enough,” Marv suggested. “But I’ll tell you this: you better kiss his feet if you ever run into him again. Because, trust me, you never want to see what I did.” He shook his head and covered his face with his hands for a moment. “Anyway, I think Nancy changed his mind somehow.”

  “So, what did happen? What did he do to you? Come on, Brody, are you gonna tell us or what?”

  Marv looked from Mike to Tommy. “You talk about a bad acid trip? This was worse than any acid trip you’ve ever been on. It was black as coal and the stuff I heard…the things I saw come up out of that…” Marvin remained silent for a few moments and apologized when he saw Mike’s disappointed face. “I’m sorry, I just can’t do it.”

  “Okay, Brody. Maybe some other time.”

  Marvin shook his head. “No. Never.” He picked up his coffee and stood at the window looking down to the pool; his entire body shook. “All I want to do is get those images and sounds out of my head.”

  Mike and Tommy exchanged glances and waited for Marvin to compose himself.

  “Okay, then!” Marvin turned back into the room. “I’ve put up with you hanging out in the breeze long enough. How about you two get some clothes on and we hit the deli?” He looked at Tommy, “Think you could rustle me up one of those corned beef sandwiches? I’m starved!”

  Tommy beamed. “You bet.”

  Marvin added as he watched Tommy and Mike head to get dressed, “And a knish? I could really go for a knish.”

  -51-

  The deadheads in the restaurant turned to stare when Mike, Tommy, and Marvin came through the window of the deli. Within seconds they began to drop their cups and scatter. Tommy yelled, “Where’s everyone going?”

  Tina-I’ll-Be-Your-Server-Today stopped in her tracks, her shoulders slumped, and she took a deep breath and muttered. “I am not losing my mind. But I swear, I’m beginning to think this place is haunted.” She took a quick surveillance of the tables where cups and glasses had appeared out of thin air. “I swear to God, if this crap
doesn’t stop, I’m outta here.”

  “I don’t want to be within five-hundred yards of him,” a woman pointed at Marvin. “He’s bad news.”

  “Yeah, me either,” her companion chimed in. “I was here when…” she trembled and then steadied herself and stood tall. “I was here.”

  “I’m sorry,” Marvin swept his arms around the room while Tina-I’ll-Be-Your-Server-Today dumped dishes from the tables into a bus tub, “everyone. Really, I…I apologize. But it’s okay now. It won’t happen again, I promise.”

  The crowd of deadheads looked at him in distrust.

  “No, really. Look at him,” Mike offered. “Do you see any black edges? Does he look blurry to you at all anymore?”

  Tommy spoke up “It’s true. I saw the old man yesterday afternoon and he told me. Well, he didn’t tell me, but —”

  An old regular from Sunday mornings interrupted him. “He told you, but he didn’t tell you? Come on, Tommy —”

  “Really, Dixon. I saw him standing across the street from here yesterday afternoon. He assured me Marvin would be fine. No more trouble.” Tommy turned to the woman who’d said she witnessed it. “Did you hear him say anything on Monday?”

  The woman shook her head. “I can’t recall any exact words, but he didn’t have to say a thing. He landed those eyes on me and I knew he meant for me to get the hell out. And I did, in a right hurry, let me tell you!”

  “You see? That’s how he told me everything’s okay now. There’s no reason to be afraid of the old guy — or Marvin. So, come on, sit back down. You can relax. And I’ll even get you fresh drinks. Marvin here will help, won’t you, dude?”