Funny, but Alexa didn’t have to wonder about Laurel’s question. Somehow, without even asking, she knew that if Jonas loved a woman, he would love her child just as much. The real question was how did he feel about her. The kiss he’d given her the other night had clearly said he wanted her in a basic, physical way. But what about love?
Lord, what was she thinking? Just because the man had shown a slight bit of interest in her, she was letting her head go straight to the clouds. Jonas wasn’t thinking about caring or love or the future. He was simply a man who’d wanted to kiss her. And that wasn’t anything to get excited over.
But she was excited. She couldn’t deny it. And that in itself worried her. She had the coming baby to think about. Her child had to be her first priority. Her feelings, her wants would have to come way down the list. In the past months, she had learned through her mother just exactly how much it cost a woman’s heart to love the wrong man. Alexa couldn’t let that happen this time.
“No. I don’t believe Jonas would be that way. He seems interested in the baby. And he’s always reminding me to take care of myself.”
“Does he have any children of his own?”
Alexa shook her head. “No children. And I don’t know what happened to his marriage. But I’ve never heard him bad-mouthing his ex-wife or blaming her.”
“I know a few men who could take lessons from him,” Laurel muttered.
Glancing up at her friend, Alexa smiled. “That’s enough about me. I want to hear about what you’ve been doing. I can’t remember the last time you told me you were going out on a date. And look at you—a beautiful woman going to waste.”
Tilting her head back, Laurel laughed. “That’s why you’ve always been my best friend, Alexa. You’d make me feel wonderful even if my head was cracking with a migraine.” Her laughter subsiding, she shook her head. “No dates. When would I have time? Most weeknights I’m working overtime here at the clinic, and lots of weekends Doc calls me out to assist with emergencies.”
“Hmm. Sounds as though nothing has changed with you. Your life revolves around this place. One of these days I’d like to meet this Doc and tell him it’s time he let up on you.”
Laurel grimaced. “Don’t worry. I tell him that all the time. It doesn’t help. But what the heck—the animals make me happy. They give me all the love I need, and they don’t care if I’m looking my best or if I make mistakes. What more could a woman ask for?”
Plenty, Alexa thought. Children, a home, a man to grow old with. But she wasn’t in any position to point that out to Laurel. She’d made too many mistakes to be giving advice to anyone.
“A good meal?” Alexa teased as she placed the nearly empty fruit-juice bottle on the desktop. “I’d love for you to come out one evening and have dinner with me. Reena’s cooking is so scrumptious, I’m having a hard time resisting seconds. The baby must be packing on the fat. I stay hungry all the time.”
“Ha! I stay hungry all the time, and I’m only eating for myself,” Laurel joked. “But I’ll try my best to make it out one evening. It’s been ages since I’ve seen the Chaparral.”
Rising to her feet, Alexa stepped over and kissed Laurel’s cheek. “I’m going to hold you to it. Right now, I’d better go. It’s getting late, and it’s a long drive back to the ranch.”
With a good-natured groan, Laurel left her chair. “Okay. Since you’re forcing me back to work, I’ll walk with you to your car.”
That night Alexa didn’t see Jonas. She’d hung around downstairs, hoping he’d show before her eyes got too heavy, and when he didn’t, she’d told herself she was behaving like a lovesick heifer and gone to bed.
But this morning she woke earlier than usual, and when she stepped out into the hallway, she spotted him walking toward the staircase landing. It was the first time she’d encountered him since their kiss, and though she’d been longing to be close to him again, she couldn’t help but feel a bit of embarrassment for shedding tears in front of the man.
“Good morning, Jonas.”
At the sound of her voice, he turned, and as she looked at him, attraction whammed her like a fist. He was dressed all in denim this morning, and a straw cowboy hat was tilted low on his forehead. His body was a walking mass of lean muscle; his face raw and tough. Every inch of him was all man, and every inch of her reacted to him in the most erotic way.
“Alexa! You’re up very early. It’s not yet daylight.”
She moved toward him. “I went to bed early. Do you have time for coffee? I have something to ask you.”
He glanced at his watch. “The men are saddling up right about now. I suppose they can do without me for another five minutes.”
Smiling, she reached his side, and the tender look in his eyes was like a warm hand touching her on a cold night. The awkwardness she’d felt a moment ago swiftly fled as she looped her arm through his and they started down the staircase together.
He smelled of simple soap and some musky scent that belonged uniquely to him. Being near him was like stepping into a candy store. She wanted to touch and taste, peel off the outside and enjoy the gooey goodness inside.
“How was your doctor’s visit yesterday? Is the baby okay?” he asked as they descended the stairs.
She glanced at him with surprise. “How did you know I had a doctor’s visit?”
“You told me on our ride to town.”
His concern touched her. Yet she told herself that he would be just as concerned over any pregnant woman in his presence.
“The baby and I are both fine. Just ticking off the days until he or she gets here.”
“Are you prepared for that?” he asked, then quickly added, “I mean, do you have a crib and bottles and all those sorts of things ready?”
“As soon as Mother learned I was expecting, she went to work on a nursery. It’s in a smaller room that connects to my bedroom. As for the bottles—” she chuckled softly “—this little guy of mine is going to eat naturally.”
From the corner of her eye, Alexa could see a hint of red color seep into his face. It was refreshing to see a man with a bit of modesty, she thought. Especially compared to the ribald comments Barry and his friends had made about women breast-feeding. Strange how she’d not noticed how crude he and his buddies had been when they’d first learned of her pregnancy. Or maybe she had noticed their behavior but had simply overlooked it to make herself fit in the crowd. Trouble was, nothing about that political, social crowd had been right for her. She’d been trying to fit into something that was the wrong shape and size to suit her. And she should have realized that about herself long before she’d taken a serious look at Barry.
Jonas said, “It sounds like you intend to take extra special care of the little fellow.”
Her heart softened as she once again glanced his way. “I’m going to try my best.”
Once they entered the kitchen, Alexa forced herself to release her hold on his arm just as Reena turned away from the cookstove.
In her quiet way, the cook nodded her good morning, then went back to stirring a skillet full of sizzling chorizo sausage.
“I’ll get the coffee,” Jonas told her.
Alexa took her seat at the kitchen table, then thanked him as he served her a mug full of coffee with a heavy dose of cream.
As for Jonas, he stood, his hip leaning against the edge of the table, as he carefully sipped the steaming java. “So you needed to speak with me this morning?”
There was something about having his eyes on her that made Alexa feel naked, even though she was decently covered with a white cotton robe. The idea left her uncomfortably warm, and without even realizing it, she allowed her gaze to settle on his hard lips. Her mind spun back to the moment he’d pressed them against hers.
“Uh—” She cleared her throat, then swallowed. “Yes. But don’t look so concerned. There’s no problem. I actually—well, I wanted to ask you on an outing with me. That is, if you’d like to go.”
His eyes widened jus
t a fraction. “What sort of outing?”
She laughed at the wariness in his voice. “Don’t worry, Jonas. I’m not going to pull you into a roomful of giggling women. I wanted to take you to meet my grandfather this evening and have supper with him. I called him last night and asked him about it. He’s very anxious to meet you.”
He studied her for long moments. “I can’t believe your grandfather wants to meet me. But I appreciate his hospitality. Sure. I’ll go. There’s nothing going on today that should keep me working late.”
It was crazy how much joy was suddenly spilling through her. And though she recognized the foolishness of her reaction, she refused to squash her happiness.
“Great! I’ll be ready to go around four. I know that sounds early, but it’s a bit of a drive, and I want to show you around the place before it gets dark.”
“Fine. I’ll see you at four.” He placed his mug on the table, then turned and tipped the brim of his hat at Reena. “Thanks for the coffee, ma’am.”
Smiling slightly, the cook nodded back at him. Then, after he disappeared out the back door, she looked over to Alexa. “You’re taking him to meet Abe?”
Alexa nodded. Then, noticing the cook’s sober expression, she asked, “Why? You think that’s a bad idea?”
“No. It just surprises me. That’s all.”
Alexa stared down at the coffee swirling in her mug. “Because he’s a cowboy. Because after Mitch—”
“You’ve gotten over that, Alexa. And this man is different. He’s responsible.”
Yeah, he was responsible, Alexa thought. But he wasn’t accountable for her happiness. She had to depend on herself for that, and so far she’d been making a mess of things. But she wasn’t going to dwell on all those mistakes this morning. She was going to think about Jonas and the evening to come.
Rising to her feet, she walked over to where Reena stood working at the cookstove and peered over the woman’s shoulder. “Is that sausage ready yet? I’m starving.”
Jonas didn’t know what he was doing accepting Alexa’s invitation to supper. He tried to tell himself he could call the outing business. After all, old man Cantrell might have heard gossip about the Corriente cattle, and this would be a good way to subtly question him. But who was he kidding? He was thinking of the whole thing as a date. A date with a beautiful, desirable woman. And she had asked him. That made the whole thing even nicer.
At four o’clock that afternoon, he found Alexa in the living room, flipping through the channels on the television. As soon as she spotted him, she snapped the off button and rose to her feet.
“Oh my,” she said as she took one long look at him. “You didn’t have to dress up!”
He glanced down at his Western-cut khakis and blue striped shirt. “This isn’t dressing up, but if you think it’s too much, I’ll go put on my jeans.”
Shaking her head, she walked over to him. “Of course not. I just look like I’m ready for wash day.” She gestured to the black jeans and white oversize shirt she was wearing. “But that’s okay, because we’re going to do a bit of climbing.”
“Climbing?” he asked, with dismay. “Are you in any condition to do any climbing?”
They both moved toward the door, and Jonas held it open so that she could pass through first.
“It’s nothing rough or steep. I promise. Just a nice walk.”
“I’m certainly going to make sure of that,” he assured her.
The drive to Abe Cantrell’s ranch, Apache Wells, took a little over forty minutes. Situated to the north and west, toward Carrizozo, the homesite was nestled in a network of foothills just east of the White Mountain Wilderness area. As they approached the house itself, Alexa informed him that the property ran for so many miles that part of it extended beyond the mountains and into flat desert land, where cattle had to hunt for blades of grass behind rocks and cholla cacti.
As they crawled up a narrow, graveled drive, Jonas could see that the ranch house was nothing like the grand hacienda-style house at the Chaparral. It was a modest home built of a mixture of rough cedar and stucco. Huge pines hugged its walls and sheltered the tin roof, which sloped steeply toward the ground. A wooden sidewalk curved toward a small sheltered portico. A black-and-white collie was lying at the foot of the screen door, but she quickly jumped to her feet and barked when she saw them approach.
“If you don’t mind my asking, why did your father move away from here and build the Chaparral?” Jonas asked as he braked the truck to a halt. “Seems like he would have stayed on here to help his father run Apache Wells.”
Alexa shrugged. “For a while, after my father became a grown man, he did stay on here at Apache Wells. But Gramps is—well, I guess you’d call him a land baron. He owns land scattered all over Lincoln County, and he eventually put my father to work building another ranch. I guess Gramps intuitively understood that someday Lewis would want a place of his own. Just like he understands that Quint needs a special place to call his own. That’s why he’s put him to work building the Golden Spur,” she explained.
“This is a nice place,” Jonas said after he helped Alexa to the ground. “Nice and quiet and private.”
“The ranch is very secluded, but Gramps likes it that way. I’m not so sure Granny liked being away from everything and everyone, but while she was still living she had lots of friends over, and that made up for the isolation, I suppose.” Grabbing his hand, she urged him forward. “Come along and we’ll find my grandfather.”
“Where is the working part of the ranch?” he asked, curious. “The barns and everything?”
“Two miles straight back behind the house. Granny made him build that part of the ranch away from the house. She didn’t want dust covering everything.” Alexa laughed. “And believe me, whatever she wanted, she got.”
“Must have been quite a woman,” he murmured. Kind of like you, he wanted to add. He could see most any man breaking his back to give Alexa whatever her heart desired. Could he be that generous? Oh, yes, he would do his best to give her everything. Until it came to his job. That he wouldn’t be able to put aside just to please her. He’d tried with Celia and it hadn’t worked. Being a Ranger was a part of him. It was too important to him and the state of Texas. To take it away from him would be like hacking off a part of his body. And he’d not yet met a woman who understood that.
Before they reached the door, an older man with a head full of salt-and-pepper hair and a drooping white mustache stepped onto the small porch. He was as thin as a rail and was wearing faded jeans, with the legs stuffed into a pair of black-and-red bull-hide boots. A pair of Jingle Bob spurs tinkled as he stepped forward and held his arms out to Alexa.
“It’s a hell of thing when my granddaughter is home for more ‘n two weeks and is just now coming to see me.”
Jonas could see tears filling Alexa’s eyes as she hurried to the man and snuggled her face against his chest. “Go ahead and scold me, Gramps. I should have come sooner. But I knew you had Quint keeping an eye on you.”
“An eye, my foot! That boy rarely shows his face around here.”
Laughing, Alexa kissed the man’s leathery cheek, then levered herself away from his chest. “That’s because you’ve been keeping him so busy. What do you expect?”
“A little respect. That’s what.” His squinted eyes peered toward Jonas. “Is this the young fella you were tellin’ me about?”
Smiling at both men, Alexa motioned for Jonas to join them. “This is him, Gramps.”
She quickly introduced the two men, and Jonas gave the older man’s hand a firm shake. “It’s very nice to meet you, Mr. Cantrell. Your granddaughter speaks of you often.”
Abe Cantrell smiled fondly at his granddaughter. “Rakin’ me over the coals, I suppose. Tellin’ you what a crotchety old codger I am.”
“No, sir. She speaks of you fondly.”
With a loud clearing of his throat, Abe gestured toward the door. “Well, let’s don’t just stand out here like we don
’t have good sense. Jim has everything cooked and ready. Lamb chops. Sent him after them just this mornin’.”
“Is Jim still here?” Alexa asked of the ranch’s longtime cook.
“Nope. He’s twenty years younger than me, but he thinks he has to hurry back to the bunkhouse and beat the rest of the guys to his recliner. Damn man. He complains about his arthritis, but what in hell will he be like when he gets to be my age?”
“Nothing like you, Gramps,” Alexa said, then winked covertly at Jonas as the three of them entered the house.
Everything inside was old and comfortable, and Jonas felt completely at home as the three of them sat in the living room while he and Abe sipped beer and Alexa had a small glass of ginger ale.
They talked for at least thirty minutes before Abe decided it was time to eat. The cook had left everything in a warming drawer in the bottom of the stove, and in spite of the old man trying to shoo her into a chair, Alexa insisted on putting the food out on the table. Jonas made a point to help her; all the while he could feel the old man watching him and his granddaughter.
No doubt wondering about the connection between them, Jonas figured. But he could have assured the old man there was no connection. At least not anything more than liking and respect.
Liar, liar. You feel more than that for Alexa. That kiss you shared with her the other night has never left your mind. All you can think about is kissing her again.
Thankfully, Abe was never at a loss for words, and as they began to eat the hearty meal, the old man kept the conversation going and Jonas’s mind off his need to be close to Alexa. Or, at least, partially off it. Most of the time his thoughts were vacillating between Abe’s stories and the fact that Alexa was sitting only inches from his side.
“So why did you want your grandson to develop the land you own over toward Capitan?” Jonas asked him. “Is that something you’ve always wanted to do?”
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