Sex Happens

by Carol Soloway

  Wearing her usual sixties outfit: peasant blouse, macramé belt, and black skirt that was probably too long, Terrie smiled at Alex. “I ordered for you, dear.”

  “So, how was the hunting trip?” Judi asked, seemingly uninterested.

  Alex decided she’d give them as little information as possible about the deer hunt. They certainly wouldn’t be interested in such a masculine sport. “Luke bagged a deer,” she said.

  “What’s bagging a deer?” Judi asked with apparent disdain.

  “He killed a deer,” Alex said, trying to sound blasé in front of her friends.

  Terrie tugged at the right sleeve of her peasant blouse, as though insulating herself from the prospect of killing. “He actually shot something?”

  “That’s the general idea of hunting,” Alex said, repeating Luke’s words.

  Tapping her Million Dollar Red nails against her water glass, Judi said, “That must have been fun. I mean, alone in a cabin in the woods. Romantic?”

  “Luke’s two friends were really nice—well, one was,” Alex said.

  “You stayed in a cabin with three men?” Meredith flipped back her mane of black hair.

  “We had two bedrooms,” Alex said.

  “Oh, that makes everything perfect.” Meredith pursed her lips. “Who’d want to go with a group of hunters? It’s the Ritz or nothing for moi.”

  “I don’t think he asked you,” Terrie said, obviously unable to resist a dig at Meredith.

  “Where’s Liz?” Judi interrupted.

  “Liz said she was going to be late,” Alex said, suddenly sensing an undercurrent of tension that was clearly directed at her. She and Liz had already discussed the hunting trip. Liz said it had been an interesting experience for Alex but it was time to move on.

  Their waitress delivered several plates of Chinese chicken salad for everyone, even Terrie.

  Terrie reached for The Pilot’s Wife. “Let’s discuss the book.”

  Looking from one to the other, Alex said, “We never actually talk about the book. I mean, we usually wait until after lunch.”

  Meredith folded her arms across her chest. “Let’s have Terrie, our resident psychologist, give us her opinion on how the pilot could have had one family in the U.S. and another one in England. And please tell us how both of the women could have been so naïve that they didn’t suspect anything.”

  “The pilot was able to compartmentalize so well that his behavior didn’t arouse suspicion in either woman.” Terrie glanced down at her salad, a deviation from her usual hamburger. “I’ve seen it often.”

  “One of the wives had to have sensed something.” Judi raised her eyebrows.

  “Without a doubt,” Alex said, studying Judi. Now she was certain Judi had known about Gabe’s affair all along but had never said anything to her. Alex had always vacillated about whether she could trust Judi. She’d always known Judi’s loyalty was to the physicians at the hospital where both her husband and Gabe practiced, but at her daughter’s wedding, she’d seemed so inclusive, accepting of Alex.

  “Most women intuit their husbands are having an affair,” Terrie said.

  Meredith pursed her lips. “And they get rid of the bastards.”

  “Women don’t always want to admit the truth,” Terrie said. “If they face the truth, then their lives change. People are usually more terrified of the unknown than the known, no matter how awful it might be.”

  Alex rubbed her wrist. “I didn’t suspect anything with Gabe until Las Vegas.”

  “We’re not talking about Gabe.” Meredith picked up the stack of stapled papers and handed them to Alex. “You need to see these.”

  Alex accepted the documents from Meredith and read: The Trust Deed for 5 Calle Santa Maria, Fountain Valley, California, Cora and Luke Jackson, a married couple. Her stomach bottomed out. The room whirled. “What’s going on?” she asked in a faint voice.

  “I was worried about some of the things you said about Luke.” Meredith took a deep breath then blotted her lips. “As I was reading The Pilot’s Wife, I was struck by similarities between the pilot and Luke.”

  “What do you mean?” Alex rubbed her wrist again.

  “Meredith is explaining how Luke seemed like the pilot,” Terrie said. “You know, compartmentalized and able to move between diverse environments with ease.”

  Judi nodded. “I thought it odd how Luke seemed comfortable at the wedding; I mean a plumber with all of the physicians.”

  Meredith pointed to the trust deed. “Luke seemed as though he was playing a role. There was something off. So I decided to do a little research.”

  Rushing to the table, Liz almost bumped into the waitress. “Sorry, I had a CE course, and it ran over.”

  “CE?” Judi asked.

  “Continuing education,” Liz said. “What are we talking about?”

  “Meredith just gave us a document that proves Luke’s married. He and his wife bought the house a year ago.” Alex looked at the property deed again. “Apparently, they were still married one year ago, and Luke told me they’d been divorced for years.”

  “The perks of having a real estate attorney for a friend,” Liz said, giving Alex a hug and then sitting down opposite her.

  “How could he have lied?” Alex asked.

  “I have trouble keeping up with my one life, let alone juggling two,” Liz said.

  “Tennis, hunting, and sex—those activities put him in the moment. He didn’t have to think about anything except the target,” Terrie said. “The adrenaline kept him going.”

  “All the evidence was there.” Judi tapped her glass.

  “I guess I wasn’t looking,” Alex admitted.

  “If you think about it, I’m sure Luke gave you just enough information about his life to keep you from suspecting anything,” Terrie said. “A pathological liar is usually very clever.”

  “Luke did give me bits and pieces about his family,” Alex said, anger rising.

  Terrie shook her head. “With pathological liars, all the pieces of the puzzle are a jumble of unconnected images, but if you take the time to assemble enough of the pieces, a picture emerges. If you look carefully enough, you see that the lies are sometimes contradictory.”

  Anger overtook Alex. “Well, Luke’s history.”

  “Not so fast, Alex. You’ll need to be very, very careful. When controlling men don’t get what they want, they can be unpredictable—even dangerous.” Terrie stabbed at the last two chunks of lettuce on her plate with obvious disdain, clearly missing her usual hamburger. “I’ve seen it too many times. The women get restraining orders, but the orders are meaningless.” She took a breath. “The women are often … um … harmed.”

  Recalling Clay’s story about how kind Luke was to the teenage girl and how he refused to take advantage of her, Alex shook her head. “I don’t think Luke would hurt me.”

  “Don’t be foolish,” Meredith warned.

  Liz scowled and crossed her arms. “Alex, don’t you get what Terrie is cautioning you about?”

  Alex pushed aside her nearly full plate, her mind whirling. She thought of the way Luke gutted that deer and had to admit there was a side of him that could be dangerous. She had to end the relationship, but Clay had warned her about disappointing Luke. She was going to careful, very careful.

  “I also checked on Mr. Luke Jackson’s franchise,” Meredith said. “He’s a lowly technician—I mean journeyman. They work under the men in the company, the ones who have the licenses.”

  “No,” Alex shouted.

  “Come on,” Judi said. “Did you really think he was more than that?”

  “He could have been the owner of a company,” Terrie said. “Just because he is black doesn’t mean that—”

  “Bi-racial,” Alex whispered, tears filling her eyes.

  “Luke’s lying abo
ut being married is a little more critical than his lying about owning a company.” Liz reached across the table and touched Alex’s hand.

  Alex grabbed her purse and took out money for lunch and a tip. “Thank you for finding this out about Luke. I’ve gotta run to the office and treat patients before my appointment with Dr. Weisbarth, the forensic sleaze who Gabe hired. And today—well, on every visit—I have to convince him that I’m normal!” She laughed. “This really hasn’t helped.”

  “Not true,” Terrie said. “Look at the way you reacted to Luke’s betrayal. You’re ready to break up right away, but with Gabe, you were submissive.”

  “Maybe Luke’s just for practice,” Meredith said. “You know, learning until the right one comes along.”

  “Meredith, men are not just stepping stones,” Terrie said.

  “Wanna bet?” Meredith smirked. “‘Trade up’ is my motto.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind,” Alex said. “Let’s see, what’s the next step in a relationship with a married man?”

  “This isn’t about men.” Terrie leaned over and hugged Alex. “This is about you. You have grown, and we’re not going to let you go back to the Alex who allowed Gabe, and then Luke, to walk all over you.”

  Alex looked appreciatively at her First Friday Book Club women. “I’m so lucky to have you all in my life.”

  “Gotta stop before I mess my makeup.” Meredith blotted her eyes, makeup still perfect.

  Alex looked at each of the women seated at the table and felt safe, safer than she’d ever felt in her life. These women were her family. Her mother had died years ago. After her mother’s death, her father had moved to Florida to be with Robert, his lover. She and her father had spoken every few days until he’d passed away two years ago. Her sister had her own struggles as a single woman in New York. It was Alex who initiated contact with her sister, and that was infrequent and strained. She’d never discuss any of her problems with her sister, who had enough problems of her own.

  Terrie motioned for everyone to join hands.

  Alex thought the joining of hands was a little much, but she reluctantly grasped hands with Judi and Terrie and waited for Terrie’s pronouncement.

  “We, the First Friday Book Club women, vow to not only read a novel a month, but also to be each other’s mirror,” Terrie said and triumphantly held up her hand that was clasped to Alex’s.

  Meredith pursed her lips. “A lot of good that does when I keep holding up a mirror to you, and you refuse to let me help with makeup.”

  “You know it’s not about looks,” Liz said as they let go of each other’s hands.

  “It was levity,” Meredith said. “I get that way when things get really heavy.”

  Liz pointed a finger at Alex. “And, I repeat, you are not going to allow any man to overpower you. Not just Luke, but Gabe, also.”

  Alex felt her heart swell with gratitude. With this incredible community behind her, she knew she could do anything.

  CHAPTER 38

  As Alex approached Dr. Weisbarth’s office, her stomach churned. She was determined to convince him she was not the woman Gabe had portrayed in his attempt to steal their children. She was certain Dr. Weisbarth couldn’t really think she posed a danger to the children. But she still wondered why Gabe wanted the boys so desperately. She wondered whether Gabe really thought she’d turn the boys against him, just like Dr. Townsend’s wife had done.

  There was also the possibility that Gabe didn’t want to give her the agreed-upon monthly child support and had decided he’d rather have control of the boys’ financial and other needs. But it could also be due to his desire to assuage his guilt about his infidelity. If he proved she was unstable, an unfit mother, then he’d be the one who was the perfect parent, the one who saved the children from their imperfect mother.

  She decided Gabe’s motivation wasn’t important. She had to show Dr. Weisbarth how much her children needed her and how much she loved them. And after the First Friday Book Club meeting, she felt strong. She settled into a chair and stared at the sky-blue swirls on the sea-foam-green carpet, perfectly coordinated with the green-and-blue-tweed chairs.

  The tall, imposing psychiatrist stepped into the waiting room. “Ms. Rose, how are you?”

  “Fine, thank you,” Alex said. “How are you?”

  Without responding, he led the way to his office. She followed and sat down in the chair opposite his desk.

  “Ms. Rose, tell me a little about yourself, please.” He looked down at his desk.

  “It’s still Dr. Rose,” she said softly. “Some things don’t change in two weeks.”

  “Of course. Now, let’s talk about your childhood.”

  “It was normal,” she said.

  “How so?”

  “My mother stayed home, and my father worked as a contractor.” As normal a household as a homosexual dad and an obese, agoraphobic mother could create, she thought.

  “Parents aren’t always perfect,” Dr. Weisbarth said. “They have quirks that we overlook, but those quirks can severely impact a child.” He shook his head and wrote a note.

  Alex waited.

  “Any siblings?” he asked.

  “A sister.”

  “Do you have a good relationship with her?”

  “Yes,” she said, hoping he wouldn’t probe. Then she’d have to tell him her sister was a recluse. She had a menial job at a call center where she sat in a cubicle and never had any face-to-face interactions with the customers. And as far as Alex knew, her sister didn’t even socialize with any of her co-workers. She just went home after work and read romance novels. Alex feared any information about her sister would fortify Gabe’s picture of her family as unstable. But then again, Gabe had probably told Dr. Weisbarth every detail about her unsavory upbringing.

  “I see.” He made another note. “And what else can you tell me about yourself?”

  “I want my boys,” Alex said.

  “Why?” he asked, meeting her gaze. That, she thought, is a stupid question, but she remained calm and explained, “I’m their mother, and I want my boys more than life.”

  “We don’t have to go over the incident with Jonathan,” Dr. Weisbarth said. “Alexandra … may I call you Alexandra?”

  “I prefer Alex.” She didn’t want to be called Alexandra. Alexandra was the little girl who was terrified of her mother and feared people who threatened her. Most of all, Alexandra was the little girl who’d been taught she was unworthy of love unless it was wrapped in anger. For that little girl, love only came as a reward for enduring pain at the hands of her mother and keeping family secrets. Alex was a strong name, and that was the woman she needed to be.

  “And how will you manage to take care of the boys with your work schedule?”

  “Like any single mother.”

  “I see,” Dr. Weisbarth said with what she was sure was sarcasm.

  “The bottom line is my boys come first. I’ve always balanced work with their schedules. If I need to hire a housekeeper, then I will.”

  “What about a significant other?” he asked and waited.

  “I had a boyfriend, but I’ve ended the relationship.” Well, she thought, not quite, but before the day ends, Luke will be history.

  “Really?” Dr. Weisbarth seemed surprised. “You’re no longer with him?”

  She shook her head, wondering what Gabe had told him about Luke.

  “Tell me about him anyway.”

  “He never stays overnight,” she said, sounding defensive.

  “Why do you consider that an issue? I mean, the boys aren’t there at night, are they?”

  “The boys don’t stay over,” Alex agreed.

  Dr. Weisbarth pressed his palms together. “Why don’t you tell me about that relationship?”

  She hesitated, uncertain about what to say. Talking about Luke
is pointless. This is about my competence as a mother, she thought with renewed fury.

  “Alexandra … Alex … sorry, are you okay?”

  “Yes. I was thinking.”

  “I see.” He wrote on his pad.

  “Gabe shocked me with the divorce. He moved out of our home and went to live with his girlfriend. Obviously, they’d been having an affair. Then he transformed my accidental spilling of water into a legal debacle in order to claim custody of our children.”

  “I believe it was boiling water,” he said, his expression remaining enigmatic.

  “I never harmed my children. I’m a good mother. That is what you need to know,” she said and thought she saw Dr. Weisbarth nod empathetically. She was also sure she saw him give her an understanding wink. Did it happen? Or am I just wishing this man who will determine my fate is showing compassion?

  He looked at his watch. “Yes, that’s all I need from you. If I have to schedule another private session with you, I’ll let you know.” He stood up. “And how was your trip? Hunting, I believe.”

  “Good,” she said.

  “I’ll see you in four weeks for the family session.”

  The words “family session” made her hungry—hungry for her old life. Her reality could never be meaningless sex with a man who tied a dead deer to the top of his truck. Her reality was children, PTA meetings, football practices, and helping patients. Initially, she’d been drawn to Luke because he’d reassured her of the sexuality she thought she’d lost forever. The touch of his body was like a medicinal herb: she’d feel relief for a while, but after they’d had each other, her emptiness would return.

  Fortified by the camaraderie of a group of loving women, Alex was no longer willing to accept the morsels Luke, Gabe, or any other man offered. She would make it on her own with the love of her children and the support of the women of the First Friday Book Club.

  CHAPTER 39

  Alex entered the house, threw the property deed on the coffee table in the family room, and ran upstairs to shower and change into jeans.

  Luke rang the doorbell, and she reluctantly unlocked the top bolt and opened the door.