by Berri Fox
De Haverland turns around on his stool to see Ashley hauling herself up by grabbing at Natalie and the mic. They stop to have a short exchange of angry words, both of them slurring. When Ashley finally gets up, they sling their arms around each other and start singing again, completely out of tune with the music half a beat ahead.
“What the…” De Haverland looks mystified as well as astonished. He looks at me like I might have the answers and I keep my face blank, shrugging.
“You see, Mr. De Haverland? She’s easy enough to manipulate. Her only commitment is to short term satisfaction. Believe me, I know. She doesn’t take anything seriously. I have full confidence I can deliver on my own, but if I do need her, I can secure her cooperation with coercion if not threats.”
His eyes dart between Ashley and me. His eyes are gleaming, and I can see a smile starting on his lips.
Classic. His good sense and suspicion is being overridden by his desires. Ashley looks like a mess, and I’m dressed like a gold-digging bimbo. To his eyes, it looks like a perfect score.
“Well. I must say I’m impressed.” He looks between Ashley and me again, wincing as he looks at the stage and has to listen through another great ripping chorus. It might not be so bad if they were actually following the music.
“Just look at her.” I say with exasperation, as if I’m talking to myself. “They are all over each other. Why should I preserve my loyalty for her?”
His smile grows even wider and he pulls a notebook and pen out of his pocket.
He’s so self assured of his own power and our complete incompetence he believes himself safe. I keep my silly bimbo expression and bat my eyes a little. He shakes his head as if he’s saying to himself, this is too easy.
He quickly scribbles a few lines, signing and dating it on the bottom. He hands it over to me with a flourish and I tuck it into the tight bodice of the dress. No room for a bra in here and I certainly don’t have any pockets.
“I have to say, this whole situation is highly amusing.” He signals to the bartender, getting another drink. “I couldn’t have suspected a simple girl like you would be able to play this game so well.” He spins on the stage to watch Ashley stumbling around onstage. She catches her foot on Natalie’s leg and goes tumbling to the floor again, laughing like a fool.
“She’s a complete mess.” He mutters, almost as if I’m not even there. He shakes his head. He seems baffled by the ease of his plan, while at the same time so confident of our failure he can’t see the potential pitfalls.
“Thanks.” I call over my shoulder as I start to sashay away across the room. He raises his fresh drink to me and keeps watching the stage.
If he thinks this is a good show, I can’t wait to get to the next act.
Thirty-One
Ashley
I’m nervous as I stand on the stage next to Natalie. We’re both clutching a bottle of wine and swaying from side to side, holding each other up. I pretend to stagger forwards a little and knock the microphone over.
An amused cheer ripples through the audience and I take a low bow, almost falling over. I’m getting into the little drunken act we’re putting on, but I’m trying to keep an eye on Jess and De Haverland too. I’m worried for her, and I really don’t like her being anywhere near that snake.
As Natalie and I pretend to dance clumsily, she smiles at me encouragingly. “We’re doing great. Everything is going to be fine,” she mouths at me.
I grimace slightly but nod in agreement, even though I’m far from convinced. I glance backstage and see Alex waiting in the wings like I told him to. He’s mouthing something to himself, and I smile for real as I realize that it’s probably “corporate espionage”.
Jess bows her head closer to De Haverland and I tense up. Natalie does the same beside me, and we both pause in our dance. The crowd cheers us on, thinking that we’ve forgotten the next steps in our drunkenness.
De Haverland slips something, a scrap of paper I think, into Jess’ hand and she thrusts it deep into her pocket. Then she turns and locks eyes with me. She reaches up and removes the flower from her hair.
That’s the signal.
It’s time for Natalie and me to descend.
We jump off the stage to murmurs of confusion from the crowd. I charge ahead towards Jess and De Haverland, while Natalie stops to help Alex down off the stage as he runs after us. De Haverland turns, confused.
“What’s going on? What are you doing?”
“Oh, look at that, Mr. De Haverland. Didn’t your lawyers ever tell you that you shouldn’t put things in writing when you’re trying to be dodgy?”
De Haverland splutters in rage and glares down at me. “What the hell are you trying to suggest, Carmichael? And I’d be very careful if I were you.”
I smile sweetly, but my eyes flash like steel. “I’m not suggesting anything, Mr. De Haverland. But I am informing you that I am intending on using this very helpfully signed document as proof that you were attempting some corporate espionage, and we will be taking action about this.”
De Haverland’s furious response is cut off by Alex’s sing song voice chiming in with “Corporate espionage! Corporate espionage! You’re doing a corporate espionage!”
I grin at him and he grabs my leg, staring up at De Haverland from behind me. “And the feds don’t like tax evaders,” he adds solemnly.
“Where the bloody hell did you learn that, lad?” Sandy gasps between deep belly laughs.
“I can’t believe that while I was running ragged all over this ship you were teaching my nephew to say corporate espionage and about tax evasion,” Jess shakes her head but her huge smile reassures me that I’m not in trouble for my lessons.
“It’s never too early to learn about business,” I retort before De Haverland interrupts. His face is beet red and he dabs his brow with a monogrammed handkerchief.
“You don’t get to humiliate and threaten me, Carmichael,” he growls.
I open my mouth, but he clicks his fingers above my head. “Hey, you! Purser!”
I turn and see Sandy making his way over to us. “Is there a problem here?” He asks mildly.
“Damn straight there’s a problem here. I want them arrested! Take them to the brig!”
He points at me and Jess and Sandy sweeps his gaze over us. Then, he turns back to De Haverland and cocks his head.
“Excuse me, sir?”
“Arrest them for God’s sake, what are you waiting for?” De Haverland waves his arm in impatience, but Sandy just looks more confused.
“I’m ever so sorry sir, but I don’t know what you mean. Why would I arrest these distinguished guests?”
“Distinguished? Ha! You just check that bitch’s ID and you’ll see she’s not Emily Warrington at all,” he spits.
Sandy looks around. The entire room is silent as they watch this exchange, waiting to see what will happen. I notice some of the guests sip their champagne and nudge each other in glee, eager for a show.
I smirk. I doubt they’ll be disappointed.
Sandy turns back to De Haverland and shakes his head. “But of course this isn’t Emily Warrington. This is Jess Cox.”
De Haverland pales. “You knew that she isn’t who she says she is?”
Sandy laughs. “I don’t understand what you mean, sir. This is Jess Cox, fiancé to Ashley Carmichael.”
He gestures to me and I waggle my fingers at De Haverland. He turns purple with rage.
“I demand that you take these women in as stowaways immediately!”
Natalie shuffles up behind Sandy and hands him a thick binder. Sandy takes it and flicks through the pages, running his finger down the list of names.
“I am holding the ship’s ledger, Mr. De Haverland. The ship’s ledger contains the names of all of the passengers travelling on this ship with us.”
“Good! Then you’ll see that there is no Jess Cox on there, and I highly doubt Ashley Carmichael is on their either if she’s been pretending to be someone else all
this time.”
De Haverland sniffs and looks directly at me. “I was always suspicious after you introduced yourself as Robin. As if the successful hotelier and CEO Robin Carmichael could have been a woman.”
I step forwards but Jess restrains me. Sandy raises his voice, quieting De Haverland.
“But sir, if you would be so kind as to look here. See? Ashley Carmichael and Jess Cox are listed, but no Robin Carmichael or Emily Warrington. Is it possible you’re thinking of a different cruise?”
Sandy presents De Haverland with the ledger, and around us other passengers crane to see. De Haverland’s face contorts in anger as he sees our names, written there clearly in black and white. He looks around the room wildly.
“They weren’t calling themselves Jess and Ashley before! You all heard them, swanning around as Robin Carmichael. Tell him, you all heard them!”
The other passengers shuffle their feet and say nothing. He continues to stare around the room at people.
“You know that they were calling themselves Robin and Emily!”
I’ve never heard something so preposterous in all my life! Those girls are Ashley and Jess and they always have been. What’s wrong with you, man?”
I turn and see Ms. Peterson striding across the room towards us. She reaches De Haverland and glares at him severely.
One by one other people around the room begin to agree with her. I’m touched at how eager they all are to agree and to help us. De Haverland is looking rather sick, and I throw my arms around Jess happily.
“Yeah. We don’t know what you’re talking about.” I’m surprised to hear the snipped voice of Marsha joining the ranks of our supporters and see her flanked by Gail and Sarah at the side of the stage. She nods at me and I nod back.
“But- but,” De Haverland stutters, lost for words.
“What’s going on here?” I hear Hugo’s voice from behind me, and smile as he comes to stand beside me. Royston is with him and moves to stand beside Jess.
“This man seems to be feeling a bit under the weather. I’m afraid he’s rather distressing some of our passengers,” Natalie pipes up, smirking.
“This woman has been pretending to be Robin Carmichael! She was not a passenger on this ship!” De Haverland makes one last attempt to get someone to agree with him, to no avail.
“No offense sir but I’m pretty sure we’d recognize our childhood best friend and his baby sister. Or are you suggesting that Ashley has been wearing some kind of disguise all this time?” Royston cracks his knuckles as he speaks, and Hugo straightens his cufflinks idly.
“Perhaps you should go to the medical room Mr. De Haverland. Or otherwise we’d be very happy to set you up in the brig while you calm down,” Hugo suggests.
I squeeze Jess’ hand tightly, and she kisses me lightly on the cheek. I’m beaming happily. Not only have I dealt with one of our main competitors, but I haven’t caused another scandal for poor Robin to clear up.
I’d consider this to be a success.
Thirty-Two
Jess
I feel taken aback and have to grip the bar to steady myself for a second. I’m overwhelmed by the sheer amount of support the crew and all the other passengers are showing us, and tears prick at my eyes. But now’s not the time to get emotional.
De Haverland stutters in anger, and the Wilmingdale twins step forwards.
“Well, Mr. De Haverland? Are we going to have to take you to a medic? Or to the brig?” Hugo speaks, smiling in a ridiculously charming way considering his words.
De Haverland opens his mouth to argue again, but Royston waves a hand lightly and a couple of security guards step forwards. De Haverland swallows, thinks better of arguing and storms out of the dining hall in a fit of rage.
Ashley squeals excitedly and turns to me. Before I can do anything, she grabs my waist and swings me around and around in giddy delight. I shriek and cling to her.
I don’t pull away even as she slows us down. I pull her towards me and kiss her deeply. I’m trying to show her just how much she means to me, and how strongly I feel about her.
Luckily, I think she understands my unspoken sentiments because she pulls me even closer. I swoon as she presses her hands lightly against my cheek and back and deepens our kiss.
I’m breathless as we break apart, and blush furiously as I realize that the other passengers are cheering and clapping. Even Marsha, Gail and Sarah don’t look as frosty and haughty as they usually do. I bury my face in Ashley’s shoulder trying to hide my embarrassment at having lost control like that.
“Well then! I think we’d better celebrate,” Sandy announces through the microphone, to raucous cheers and approval around the room.
Someone starts up the music again and the impromptu party starts. Everyone is getting into the swing of it and as I gaze around the room, I realize that the room must be packed with most, if not all, of the people on the ship! I still can’t quite believe what has happened, or that any of this is real.
“Hey you,” Ashley whispers, nudging me lightly and wrapping her arms around my waist.
I nestle into her and sigh comfortably, closing my eyes. “Hey yourself. This has been a bit of a ride, huh?”
“Eh, I wouldn’t change any of it. I’ve proven myself to my brother and gotten rid of our biggest competitor. Not to mention I met you and Alex.”
I grin softly. “Oh yeah? I’m glad we make it up there along with stopping corporate espionage.
“Corporate espionage!” We turn as Alex’s high little voice cuts through the crowd. Natalie is holding his hand and trying to stop him from jumping at us.
I smile gratefully at her but untangle myself from Ashley’s arms to scoop Alex into my own.
“And you did a great job! Look at you, with your big fancy words.”
Alex nods seriously and reaches out for Ashley. She joins in our hug, wrapping her long arm around both of us.
“Yeah my man, I’m proud of you!” Ashley says, giving Alex a high five.
“We hate to interrupt, but we feel there’s some rather important information we might be missing. Care to clue us in, Ash?”
We turn around to see Hugo and Royston holding glasses of champagne and looking amused. Ashley explains the whole story to them, and then squints up at them.
“Sorry. I know I’ve kind of messed up, but everything worked out okay in the end,” she says sheepishly.
“Oh god, we’re just relieved that Robin doesn’t actually hate us!” Hugo exclaims.
“Yeah, we thought he was avoiding us and then we thought maybe it’s because we might have cheated at poker that one time but then Hugo said it was probably because he just happened to find us at your last party and was royally pissed off. But no, apparently the reason we couldn’t find him on the ship was because you’re here instead so it’s really quite a relief!” Royston adds.
Ashley laughs, relieved, and the two guys hug us both.
“Besides, it looks like the cruise has done you some good. Dare I say it, the famous love rat that is Ashley Carmichael has finally been tamed?” Hugo says, jostling Ashley teasingly.
Ashley gives him a good-natured shove and then links her hand in mine. “Yeah, yeah. Am I ever going to hear the last of this?”
“Oh, from us, probably. But don’t worry, we’ll be sure to tell Robin everything so he can make sure to keep teasing you about it.”
I snicker and Ashley turns to mock glare at me. “Whose side are you on, Cox?”
“I don’t know what you mean I’m sure, Carmichael,” I fire back, before we both start laughing.
The twins begin to sidle away but Ashley stops them suddenly. They look on, slightly bemused, as she waves the two glamor girls from the shop over to us. I realize her plan and nod my head in agreement.
“What?” Hugo questions me, but Ashley speaks before I can.
“Hugo and Royston Wilmingdale, allow me to introduce you to Gail and Sarah. I think you should all get to know each other. You’ll get along
swimmingly.”
The girls giggle and Sarah flicks her hair back. They grin at each other before Sarah and Gail take the guys’ arms and the four of them head to the bar to get some drinks.
“Good move. Though are you sure the guys won’t be too shell shocked when faced with both of those girls?” I say. Ashley laughs.
“Trust me, you haven’t met some of their ex’s. They like women who can handle themselves. They’ll be totally fine.”
Ashley turns to me, the laughter dying down on her face as she grows more serious. “Hey, Jess? Can I ask you something?”
“Sure,” I say, keeping my voice casual even though I’m suddenly nervous. What would I do if Ashley tells me now that she’s made a mistake, and she doesn’t think we should see each other anymore?
“Well, I just wanted to…I wanted to ask you if you wanted to be my girlfriend. Like, a real girlfriend not just a fake one. And for the long term, not just on a cruise ship.”
She watches me worriedly for my reaction, but my heart feels like it could burst from my chest. I pull her into me for a firm hug and whisper quietly in her ear, “of course I want to be your girlfriend.”
She beams at me, her happiness and confidence returning in one fluid moment. Alex tugs on my dress and I pick him up again. “You okay there, buddy?”
“I want to stay with you forever and ever. I don’t want to go back to mommy or to live with strangers,” he mumbles, and my heart constricts in my chest. I cuddle him close to me, wishing I never had to put him down.
“I love you so much, Alex. And I will do my best to make sure you never have to live with anyone else, okay? But you should never ever doubt that I love you with all my heart, no matter what, I love you more than anyone else in the whole wide world.”
He nods and hugs my neck with his chubby little arms. “Okay Auntie Jess. I love you too.”
I cling to him for a few moments longer, until he starts to wriggle. As soon as I set him down, he runs towards Sandy and proceeds to do some kind of elaborate handshake that the two of them have clearly created.