by Berri Fox
I squeeze Alex tight.
“We should deal with De Haverland.” I say firmly, trying not to let my fear show. “We can talk about us after that.”
I can see she’s disappointed and I try to harden my heart. This isn’t a fucking movie. Its real. Yeah, I want to fling myself into her arms with perfect love and perfect trust. It should be a magical moment. But I’ve done enough of that lately, believing that the whole world was my romantic dream.
Where did it get me? Hiding under a fucking side table. I’m standing up now, with my back straight and my feet firmly on the ground. I’m not going to lose my footing again. Not for anyone.
Silence hangs over the room for a second while we all stare at each other. Alex pulls back from the hug and grins at me. That smile and those big soft eyes make me giddy.
“Auntie Jess? I’m hungry. And thirsty. Could I have a soda?”
“Of course, kiddo.” Sometimes you need a kid around to remind you of the basics.
We gather around the table where Alex picks up with his pencils and sticker book. Natalie hands out a few bags of nuts and pretzels with cans of soda. For a few seconds we’re all agreeable as we munch the food and down sodas.
The tension has eased, and Ashley looks around at us in turn.
“So. What are we going to do? De Haverland has me by the nuts here.”
Alex looks up at her curiously and she jiggles her bag of peanuts. He laughs at her.
“He’s just got too much clout. A little ammo would have tipped him over, but you played right into his hands, Ash.”
She frowns and I know she was already blaming herself. And me.
Natalie shakes her head. “He’s a mean bastard. You aren’t going to get him to back down easy.”
“I know.” Ashley says softly. My brain is running hot but I’m not any closer to an idea.
Alex holds up a pencil and flicks it in the air. “I know!” He exclaims. We all look at him, smiling indulgently. Whatever his idea is, its going to be cute.
“You need dirt on this guy.” He says brightly. “If he’s playing you, you need to get him right back.”
There is a stunned silence.
“How did you come up with that?” Ashley gasps incredulously.
“Its what they always do in the movies.” He shrugs. “Whenever someone gets into trouble, they get dirt on the other guy.” He taps his pencil on his chin. “I don’t know. Is it a special kind of dirt?”
Ashley laughs and rubs his back.
“Yes, sweetie. It’s a very special kind of dirt.”
He seems satisfied by that and goes back to coloring. We look at each other with eager faces.
“We need to get into the office.” Ashley says.
“Lots of guards.” Sandy cautions.
“We can distract them.” Natalie practically jumps out of her seat.
“How?” Ashley frowns.
“With Auntie Jess, of course!” Alex crows. “She’s so pretty. No one can take their eyes off her.”
“I agree.” Ashley whispers. I catch her eye and my cheeks burn hot. She smiles, the slight dip of her eyes letting me know she loves all of me, not just my face. I smile back at her, shyly.
We get ourselves organized. I squeeze myself into a tight, short sundress and high heeled sandals, putting on a bit of makeup and fluffing out my hair. Sandy and Natalie wait by the door.
“I can’t go.” Ashley says. “I’ll stay here with Alex. You guys, good luck.”
We hurry out the door, heading for the office. Sandy and Natalie let me get a lead on them and I start sashaying up to the guys waiting in front of the office. I engage them in conversation easily, pretending to be lost as I step away from the door and point left and right.
I see the guys sneak in and try to keep the guys attention on me. They seem to be taking a long time and I have to do a few arm touches, hand squeezes and twirls to keep their attention on me.
Then I see a senior officer striding down the deck. I see Sandy’s face at the window, panic stricken. The guards are turning around! The senior officer is about to nail all of us!
Time for the big guns. I step forward, pretend to trip and drop my purse. It slaps the ground and cards and cash fall out everywhere. All three of the guys are totally distracted as I lean forward, almost falling out of my halter top.
“Oh! Geez! I’m so clumsy! Let me pick that up.”
Bigger guns are needed to get them out undetected. I close my eyes and take a deep breath as I turn around and bend over… All the way over.
A cool breeze whips up the deck at exactly that moment and lifts my skirt. I almost groan out loud. I wanted it to be dramatic, but not quite that dramatic.
What a day to be wearing a lace G string. Oh well. If they were full cotton briefs it wouldn’t be as distracting, would it?
While the guys desperately try and help me pick up my stuff—and see what else my bending and the errant breeze might reveal—I see the others scurry out of the office, shut the door, and run, shooting me a thumbs up.
I grin, ready to run myself.
And realize I have three very excited shipmen staring me down, holding my stuff and helping me put my purse back together.
Oh, shit.
I know what’s coming.
“So, Miss. How about I buy you a drink?” The senior officer grins at me and the other two back away grumpily.
I start to back away, giggling. Sometimes the best answer is no answer at all.
I turn and run, unable to stop myself laughing like a maniac. Hopefully, he’ll think he just dodged a bullet, and won’t go looking for the foxy redhead. Who is clearly out of her mind.
Twenty-Nine
Ashley
I’m pacing nervously around the little room, waiting for Jess to reappear and tell me that the plan is a go. As I turn again I see that Alex has left the couch and has been pacing along behind me. For reasons I can’t quite fathom it makes my heart ache with fondness for the sweet little boy.
I drop down to one knee and beckon him close to me. “Hey Alex, what do you say to having a really important role in our little plan?” I whisper, grinning conspiratorially.
Alex jumps up and down in excitement. “Yes please, yes please, yes please!” He chants.
“Okay, when I confront the bad man, I want you to come up behind me and shout ‘Corporate Espionage’ at the top of your voice. Can you do that?”
Alex nods seriously. His first few attempts are adorable, if not necessarily accurate, but after a few minutes of chanting together he’s got it down and I begin to feel like we’re performing some kind of magic spell.
“That’s perfect! Okay and once you’ve done that, I want you to shout ‘The feds don’t like tax evaders!’ Shall we practise that one too?”
Alex repeats it obediently, grinning and almost vibrating with excitement. It makes my heart melt, and I wonder idly if Jess will object to me teaching her nephew how to cause anarchy on a cruise ship.
“Okay that’s perfect. So we yell ‘corporate espionage’ and then we yell ‘the feds don’t like tax evaders’. Will you remember both of them?”
“I can do it,” Alex nods solemnly, committed to his task. I ruffle his hair lightly.
“That’s my boy,” I say proudly. I stand up again and am about to resume my pacing when Alex’s little voice stops me in my tracks.
“I’m not anyone’s boy.”
I turn around and crouch down again. While he was so excited and full of energy just minutes ago, Alex is now looking down at the floor and rubbing the skin of his right hand with his left thumb and forefinger. I reach out and grab his hand lightly, rubbing soothing circles into his palm.
“What do you mean, kiddo?”
He doesn’t speak for a second, but I stay quiet. Eventually he turns his big brown eyes up to meet my concerned gaze.
“Maybe Auntie Jess won’t want me forever and then I’ll have to go and live with mommy again. I didn’t like it. It was scary sometime
s.”
My heart squeezes and I pull the little boy into a fierce hug. He sniffles against my shoulder, and I fumble around in my pocket for a tissue. Pulling back, I dab at his eyes and help him blow his nose.
“And I don’t want to live with a stranger! I want to live with Auntie Jess, but what if I’m too much trouble and I run out of facts to give her and she decides I’m boring so she gives me away. I don’t want to be given away. Again.”
Alex was on a roll, tripping over himself in his haste to spill his worst fears to me. I sit on the floor and pull him onto my lap. I stroke his hair soothingly and rock us gently.
Alex trails off into sniffs and small hiccups. He burrows his face into the crook of my neck and I kiss him lightly on his straw colored hair.
We sit quietly for a while until he stops hiccuping. I draw away and wipe his face again. His lower lip quivers slightly and I have to bite my own lip to stop myself from crying along with him.
I’ve never been a particularly responsible person, and I’ve never been the sort to fawn over little kids. Give me dogs or cars over children any day. But seeing Alex so distraught makes me feel awful.
I cuddle him closer again and resume my rocking motion. I try to find the right words to comfort him. I’ve never been one for serious conversations with anyone, much less ones where you are supposed to tread delicately, but I have to give it my best shot.
I can’t stand the thought of Alex being so sad and scared all the time. I have to try and help.
I begin hesitantly. I want to help but I don’t know if it’s my place to. I’ve never been in this situation before.
“You know Alex, Jess loves you. She loves you so much so you really don’t have to worry.”
“I know she loves me, but love isn’t always enough. My mommy loved me but it wasn’t enough.”
I can’t stand thinking about what Alex has been through that’s made him so mature and serious at such a young age. I swallow and try again.
“Yes but your mommy loves you so much that she gave you to your Auntie Jess to keep you safe. And Jess loves you so much and that will never change. You’re her best nephew, aren’t you?”
“I’m her only nephew,” he rolls his eyes at me, but I see a faint smile tug at the corner of his mouth. Encouraged by this success, I push on.
“Well I bet she’s never asked for another one! Has she?”
He shakes his head reluctantly.
“See? I told you so. She loves you more than anything, and she’ll never just give you away to strangers.”
Alex rests his head on my shoulder again. “How do you know if someone loves you enough?”
I sigh inwardly. This conversation is getting more and more philosophical by the second.
“Well, you just kind of know. It’s the people who are always there for you, who look after you and who make you laugh. It’s the people you look forward to seeing most each day.”
I stroke his hair again and shift my legs slightly. The floor is hard and my feet are starting to cramp but I don’t want to disturb Alex.
“Listen Alex, when I was a very little girl I used to worry that nobody loved me. I thought that maybe I would never find anyone to love me.”
“You did?” He turns to me, his eyes wide.
“I sure did. But I didn’t have to worry because you know what? People do love me. My brother loves me so much, and he always looks out for me, and I have plenty of friends who love me too.”
I rest my chin on my arm and look directly at him, smiling.
“It doesn’t have to be a mommy or a daddy who loves you. You can make your own family, with brothers and friends and aunties, and that’s just as good and just as loving as any mommy.”
Alex wraps his skinny arms around my neck and holds on tightly. I squeeze him back.
“I thought you were supposed to be tough.”
I crane my neck around to see who is speaking behind me, and my heart flutters dangerously again when I see Jess smiling down at me. I haul me and Alex to our feet and turn to face her.
“Well that rather depends on how much of our conversation you happened to hear,” I tease her.
She grins wider at me. “Oh only the sappy bit about love right there. Was there something I missed?”
I have the overwhelming urge to kiss her, but just as I’m debating with myself over whether it’s appropriate Jess beats me to it. She pulls me closer and presses her lips firmly against my own.
I dimly hear Alex mutter “eww, grown ups” and grin against Jess’ mouth.
Jess slides her hands down my arms and goose bumps rise up from my skin. She grips my hands with hers.
“I love you, Ashley. I really do, so much. I really hope we can still be together when this is all over because I don’t want to lose you.”
I breathe a sigh of relief. It feels so good to know that I haven’t lost Jess forever and my heart stutters in my chest. It’s happened so often today that I dimly wonder whether I need to collar a cardiologist somewhere on this ship.
There’s no time to dwell on the matter as Jess pulls me closer once again and I kiss her softly.
“I love you too,” I whisper hoarsely. I feel like something has changed inside of me, like I somehow know myself far better than I did before. Then I shake myself out of the trance I seem to have found myself in.
“We’d better crack on with the plan then.”
Jess nods. We say a hasty goodbye, and share one more kiss for luck, and then sweep off in opposite directions.
It’s showtime.
Thirty
Jess
I’m still wearing the ridiculously revealing sundress as I head into the bar looking for De Haverland. Its not like I had time to change but I figure, it should act as a distraction, at any rate. It does give me some considerable confidence as I stride through the bar and draw a few appreciative glances.
I see him sitting on a stool by the bar itself. I might be imagining it, but he seems to have a space around him, like he gives off bad vibes that no one else wants to touch. I’m just grateful both seats on either side of him are empty.
My guts are churning but I know my girls aren’t far away. This is the home stretch. All I have to do is pull this off and we’re all home free.
He doesn’t notice my approach, looking down into his glass with a scowl. I wonder if he’s ever happy. Instead of hating him, I feel a dose of pity. I’ve recently learned what it feels like to be happy—really happy. I think everyone deserves that kind of happiness, even dirty slugs like De Haverland.
I sit down in the stool beside him and he sits up and glares at me. I know he’s going to tell me to take off, not even bothering to see who it is. As his mouth opens to snarl, he sees my face and turns it into a self-satisfied grin instead.
“Have you decided to play it smart then? You’ll give me what I want and then I can make all of your problems go away.”
Even though he’s making every attempt to look sincere and helpful, I know he’s lying. He’ll get what he needs then turn on us. It makes my stomach turn.
“Where’s your little friend?” He peeks over my shoulder theatrically.
“I’m coming to you on my own. We discussed it at length and she’s undecided. I thought I better come to you and make my own deal.”
“Interesting.” His eyes are wide, and his grin is utterly sickening. Clearly the only joy he gets from life is screwing people over.
“So, what are you proposing, my dear?” He takes a sip of his drink.
“She’s not going to go for the plans. But I will. I need the deal, De Haverland. I can’t take the rap for being a stowaway.”
He practically giggles in delight.
“Maybe you should have thought about that before you snuck onto one of the most expensive liners ever to grace the sea. Tell me, little girl, if your friend can’t get the plans, what makes you think you can do it?”
I wave my hand. “Don’t worry about that. I’m resourceful and I can le
an on her yet. I just need your assurance that these charges are going to go away.”
“Oh, I can give you reassurance.” He drains the last of his drink, the ice clinking in the bottom of the glass. “I’ll make any promise you like.”
I narrow my eyes at him, mouth turning into a hard line.
“I don’t want your good word De Haverland. I know what its worth. No. I need a hard copy. Something in writing.”
The silence stretches between us. He stares at me and I don’t back down looking straight into his eyes and not changing my expression.
“You’re serious.” He says finally. I nod.
“As a heart attack. You give me that letter stating that I’m clear and you won’t pursue this, and I’ll get your plans.”
He laughs in my face and it makes me smile. He’s stalling. He just doesn’t want to write the damn letter. I need to dangle his desire in front of him, so it overpowers his judgement.
I get up slowly, turning away.
“Well, if you don’t want the plans, then fine. If you choose to back out now, you’ll get nothing except the satisfaction of imprisoning us, and I don’t think that’s what you want most.”
His face contorts and I know, he wants both.
“I’m not convinced you can deliver.” He hisses at me. “Tell me why I shouldn’t throw you in the brig right now.”
There had been some strange noises from the stage before now, but all of a sudden, a great, out of tune caterwaul erupts. The pitch is so bad a feedback whine rings through the room and several people clap their hands to their ears. De Haverland doesn’t bother to look, but I turn around slowly, taking my focus from him.
I can’t hide my grin.
Ashley and Natalie are up on the stage, falling over each other and giggling. The stage isn’t typically used for karaoke, but the girls do an excellent job of pretending to have taken it over with booze induced intent.
They only have one mic which they fight over. I can’t help thinking what a great job they are doing when Ashley lunges for the mic, misses and tumbles to the ground. I have to put a hand over my mouth.