I believed him because I could tell he was hurting behind that shit. “I can’t believe she’s so vindictive that she would actually pin a fucking charge on you. I swear, when I feel better I’ma beat her ass.”
“Nah, don’t even do that. You see she’s a rat and she’ll call the police on you too.”
“To be honest, I don’t give a fuck right now. This bitch violated us when she got you locked up.”
“Babe, listen; we have our little man to worry about. I’m already in the system, but you aren’t and little man needs to have his mommy caring and giving him all the love he deserves. My lawyer saying we gon’ beat that charge. Ma, I got this. Let your man handle this.” He put his arm around me.
“You right. I’m just so damn mad.”
Truth was, I wasn’t trying to hear that shit. I didn’t give a fuck if that bitch and I grew up together. She was my fucking enemy right now. I got it, she was mad that I took her dick, but bitch took it too far when she got my man locked up.
“Babe, I need to ask you something. I know that we haven’t been together that long, but I’m checking for you hard. You are the mother of my son and the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. I want to make you Mrs. Brown. Will you let us make it official?” He got down on his knee and in his hand he held one of the biggest rocks that I’d ever laid eyes on outside of television.
I sat there staring at him, or more so the ring.
“Is that a yes, no, or maybe so?” He poked me.
“Are you sure this is what you want to do? I mean, we got a lot going on right now.”
“I’m dead ass. I want to make you mine forever. I’m done wit’ these streets. I want to be the best husband and father to our child.”
I was confused. I wanted to say yes, but something kept reminding of all the shit we were going through. I was about to say no when a little voice in my head said, bitch, you better stop tripping and cuff that nigga.
“Yes, I will marry you.”
He slid the ring on my finger. I couldn’t take off my eyes off of it. I grabbed him and hugged him tight. I didn’t care what happened or who tried to break us up; he was my man and I was his queen. I wasn’t going anywhere!
“Well, now you have a wedding to plan. You know I got to show off and let the world know you my wife!”
“Really?” I busted out laughing. I ain’t gon’ lie, I was smiling all over. My life hadn’t been easy, and most of my life people treated me like shit, but here I was with my own little family. I looked up to the roof and whispered, “Thank you,” to the Man above. Finally, I was happy.
The next morning, I got up and made breakfast for my future husband. I was still floating on cloud nine. I was happy to see it wasn’t a dream because this big-ass rock was still on my finger. We sat at the table eating and laughing while talking about the wedding.
“What about your family? You mentioned your mom a few times, but I never hear you talking about your dad.”
“I don’t have any family. As for a dad, I never met the sperm donor and, as for a mother, that bitch chose her man over me so that’s the reason why I don’t talk about her ass often. Ain’t nothing good to say.”
“I’m sorry, ma, that you had such a rough childhood. Well, you have a family now: my family.”
“Thanks.”
His question about my family kind of blew my mood. Every once in a while my mind wandered about the bitch who birthed me. I hadn’t seen her or heard from her in years and frankly I didn’t want to. The last I heard that bum she was with had raped a young girl and got sent to prison. I swore on everything that bitch was dead to me. What woman would choose dick over her seed? I guessed a lonely bitch would. She was the reason why I chose to study psychology, so I could counsel abused children. I vowed to never treat my children the way she treated me.
“Babe, you all right? I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“Nah, I’m good. I just don’t want to hear about no family. You and my son are my family now.”
“And you know I got you right? I promise you from this day on you ain’t got to worry ’bout shit ever. You and my little man good, you hear me?”
The ringing sound of my phone caught my attention. I grabbed my phone off the table. I looked at the caller ID. It read Private.
“Hello.”
No response.
“Hello, who is this?” I said in a high-pitched tone.
There was still no response, just heavy breathing followed by laughing. I could tell it was a female voice.
“Listen, whoever this is, you need to get the fuck off my phone and go find something to do with your life.” I hung the phone up without waiting for a response.
“Who is it?”
“I don’t know, ’cause the dumb ho didn’t say anything. She just kept breathing hard and laughing.”
“Really? I hope it ain’t Ayana doing that stupid shit.”
I didn’t respond. I just sat there thinking, this bitch is really trying it. I don’t know how much of this shit I can take. “I know it’s her stupid ass. I ain’t never had nobody calling my phone before all this shit popped off. I’m telling you this: this your kids’ mother, but that bitch doesn’t mean shit to me and I am sick of this shit already,” I yelled and walked off.
He grabbed my arm. “Damn, you going off on me like I’m the one doing this shit. I told you that bitch was childish and that’s why I ain’t wanna fuck with her anymore.”
“I understand everything you’re saying. But I fucking blame you. You should’ve made sure you and that ho was totally over before you started fucking me. I told you from day one I don’t do drama well and I also don’t do bitches with drama. The truth is I fucking love you, but I love me more and I am not gonna live my life going through this shit wit’ your dumbass baby mama. All you niggas need to think first before y’all stick your dicks up into these dumbass bitches because this shit is the outcome.”
I snatched my arm away and walked up the stairs. I loved this man, but I was not prepared to deal with this dumbass bitch.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Ayana
These fucking nights were getting hard without Ant. I was so angry that this nigga chose that dumbass bitch over me. He hadn’t even come around to check on the girls and when I called his phone it kept going to voicemail. I lay in the bed twisting and turning. I couldn’t sleep so many thoughts of hurting him and his bitch invaded my mind.
I can’t wait ’til he gets those child support papers and gets served with my restraining order I took out against him. He can’t come within fifty yards of me and the girls.
I got up and took my Percocet out of the drawer. I went downstairs and poured me a huge cup of Cîroc. I downed around three Percocet. Within minutes I started to feel the effects of the pills mixed with the liquor.
I walked into my living room and cut on my stereo. I already had my favorite K. Michelle CD in. “These Niggas Ain’t Loyal” was the first song on the CD.
I sang right along with her. I was mad and the alcohol made me even angrier. I picked up my phone to call his mama. I swore this bitch had to know about this bullshit.
“Hello,” I said when she answered.
“Yes? How my grandbabies doing?”
“My kids are fine, but I ain’t call to update you about my kids. I want to know how long have you known your son was screwing my sister?”
“Excuse me, have you been drinking? Don’t you ever call my phone and ask me no dumbass question like that. My son is a grown-ass man and is very capable of choosing who he wants to be with. You need to stop worrying about who he is screwing and worry about taking care of them babies. And, just so you know, I know my son ain’t hit you like you said. I raised my boys better than that, but I tell you what: if my baby get any time behind your ass, I’ma be there to whup that ass.”
“You know what, bitch, it’s women like you who’s raising these dumbass niggas. I know your dumb ass never liked me, but I didn’t give a fuck abo
ut that. My thing is you wasn’t woman enough to tell me; instead, you pretended with your phony ass. My fucking kids don’t need you or your fucking family.”
“I am not even upset with you. You’re the definition of a scorned woman. Let me give you a little bit of advice before I hang this phone up on your dumb ass—”
I hung the phone up before that bitch could get out the rest of her sentence. Who the fuck did this bitch think she was? Tears continued flowing as I realized that everybody knew what this nigga was doing and they all laughed in my face.
I blocked my number and called that bitch Tiana. If I couldn’t have a bit of peace, there was no way her ass was going to be enjoying anything, especially not my man. I sat on the phone while the bitch kept on saying, “Hello.” She eventually cussed some shit that I wasn’t trying to hear. She knew what it was hitting for. I wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. I made up my mind. I was going to fight for my man, no matter how much it may have cost me.
I cried all night as I kept dialing his number, but it kept going to voicemail. Then I tried the bitch’s number again but it was also turned off. I couldn’t imagine him kissing her the way he used to kiss me, sliding up in her the way he used to slide up in me. The more I thought about it, the more my heart hurt. This pain is getting to be too much, I thought before my tired ass finally dozed off.
* * *
The next day ol’ boy came through for me. He brought me a .360. I showed him how grateful I was by sucking him off in his car. Even though I liked him, he wasn’t Ant, and that’s who my heart belonged to. I swallowed his cum, wiped my mouth off, got the bag he gave me, and exited the vehicle. I wasn’t feeling any better and didn’t want to be around anybody for real.
I couldn’t eat and I definitely couldn’t sleep. The hatred in me just kept building up. All I did for the next few days was drink and pop pills. I felt bad that all I kept feeding the kids were noodles and cereal. I wasn’t in the mood to cook shit. I remembered when I didn’t want no fucking kids. All I wanted was to travel around the world. It wasn’t until I met this bum that the idea of kids popped in my mind. Now look at this shit; he don’t even want the fucking kids I gave him. I had them for him, to keep his ass around with that money. Now I’m stuck with all this fucking aggravation of raising these fucking kids by myself.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Tiana
A month later
Today was a great day for us. Our baby boy, who we nicknamed Baby Micah, was released from the hospital. My family was now complete. Just watching the way Micah interacted with his son made me aware that I made the right choice when I chose him to become my child’s father.
That’s why I knew he was going through turmoil because he couldn’t see his daughters. About a week ago, we were outside sitting on the porch when a sheriff walked up and handed him a paper. When he opened it, he noticed it was a temporary restraining order against him. He was not allowed to go anywhere near his daughters.
As he sat there playing with our son, I saw a tear drop from his eye. “You a’ight, babe?” I quizzed him.
“Nah, man, I ain’t good. I’m hurting, B. I want to see my daughters. Since the day they were born, I made sure that I was there. I’m their fucking daddy and they are my everything. This bitch is really trying it. On the real, I want to hurt her really bad.”
“Babe, listen, hurting her is not going to solve anything. You need to deal wit’ her through the courts. Take her to court so you can get visitation. I’m not telling you to get full custody, but if that bitch playing, I say go for it.”
I hated that he was hurting and there was nothing I could do to ease his pain. That bitch was selfish and wasn’t thinking about her children, only about her fucking feelings.
* * *
I got dressed and left the house. Micah and Baby Micah were spending a daddy and son day together. I told him I was going to the mall at Stonecrest, but I lied. I was on a mission that I couldn’t let him know about. I knew I was out of pocket for this one, but I’d be damned if I was going to sit back and do nothing.
I pulled up at Ayana’s address and dashed up the driveway. I sat on the doorbell without easing up.
That bitch popped the door open with an attitude look on her face. “What the fuck would you want with me?”
“I want to talk to you.”
“Talk to me? Bitch, you funny. We ain’t got shit to talk about. Now get the fuck off my property before I call the police on your ass.” She tried to slam the door in my face.
I used my foot to block it and pushed the door open wider.
“Bitch, you can’t get just come up in my shit.”
“Like I said, we need to talk. First off, what the fuck is wrong with you? It’s stinking like hell up in here. This place is a hot fucking mess.” I took a quick glance toward the kitchen. I could see dishes piled up, garbage on the floor, and leftover food all over the place. I was so disgusted that she was living like this. “Where are the kids at? I hope they are not here in this mess.”
“Ha-ha, you’re a funny bitch! Now you’re worried about my children? Were you worried when you was fucking their daddy and taking him away from them, ‘Auntie’?”
“I already told you already that it wasn’t my intention and I did not know that he was your man. Now that I know, I see things differently. I don’t want to fight with you at all. We are supposed to be better than that; you are my sissy.”
Clap! Clap! “Standing fucking ovation. Bitch, you need a fucking sisters of honor medal award for that fucking speech.”
“You know what? I came here in peace, but I see you’re not trying to work it out.”
“Work it out? I see you had the little bastard so now you’re his baby mama. What is there to work out? Can you bring my kids’ daddy back home where he belongs?”
“Yes, you can have him. I don’t want him anymore after I found out he was your children’s father. I swear we’re not together anymore.”
Her face lit up as she looked at me. “You lying, bitch.”
“You know me better than anyone else and you know I don’t like to lie. We are done. I still can’t believe you ain’t cut his ass when he beat you up like that. I put him out the day he got bonded out.”
“Since y’all broke up, I know I can tell you. That nigga didn’t do shit to me. I banged my head into the wall until I drew blood. I swear that shit hurt, but it was well worth it. I can’t wait for our court date, but if he comes back home, I’ll drop the charges against him. See, sis, this nigga don’t know who really fucking with.”
You were lying? So you telling me your psychotic ass banged your own head into the wall? “So he didn’t hit you?” I asked.
“Bitch, no. You know damn well if a nigga hit me like that, I would be trying to cut his face up. I ain’t playing that shit.”
I stood there. I was shocked this bitch was standing here bragging like that. I was boiling on the inside, but I couldn’t let it show. “Damn! You a bad bitch. I swear.”
“Yeah, but don’t tell anybody. I’m sorry it didn’t work out between y’all. I’m sure there’s a good man out there for you, boo. I just really need him in me and my children lives.”
“Well, you got him. Well, I got to run. You will see me soon.”
“Come here give your sissy a hug.”
“Sure.” I cringed as I hugged her because she smelled like the garbage truck. I assumed that she hadn’t bathed in a while.
I was happy to be out of that fucking apartment and back into fresh air. I took a long sigh as I walked to my car. I got in, locked my door, and pulled off. I saw her peeping through the window. When I was well past her house, I pulled out the mini recorder that I had under my shirt.
Gotcha! That bitch thinks she is the smartest, but in reality she is just another dumb ho.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Ayana
At first I was pissed off that Tiana came to my house, but I soon got over it after she informed me that she was no
longer with my baby daddy. I was dancing on the inside, but I was careful not to let her see the joy I was feeling on the inside.
I wanted to knock myself in the head because I was so caught up in the moment that I told that bitch what I did. It wasn’t until after she left that I realized that I fucked up. Anyways that bitch better keep her mouth shut. That bitch really thought that I fucked with her; hell no. I was just being myself by being fake to that ho. Oh, well, now that Ant done left her ass . . .
Yes, I knew she didn’t leave him, with her weak ass. I knew it was only a matter of time before Ant was going to come to his senses and come home to me and the girls.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Tiana
I Googled the number for the Georgia Division of Family and Children Services. I wasn’t familiar with how the system worked, but I needed someone to get over to the apartment and check on the children. I knew they were not my kids and maybe I was overstepping my boundaries, but those were Micah’s children and, after I saw the condition that house was in, I couldn’t sit back and not report this shit.
The lady who took the report was very nice and listened attentively as I gave her details of why I thought the kids were neglected.
“Ma’ am, I really do appreciate you contacting us and we will look into these allegations immediately.”
“Thank you. At the end of the day I’m not trying to get anyone in trouble. I just want the kids to be safe.”
“Thank you. I wish more people would do the same to protect our children.”
“You’re welcome. Have a good day.”
“Babe, who was that you were talking to you?” Micah startled me.
“Oh, that was one of the counselors at school. She was just going over my leave of absence with me.” I smiled. “Speaking of school, are you gonna go before you get dropped from the course?”
“Babe, I ain’t gon’ even lie to you. I ain’t focused on that right now. My life is fucked up, I’m looking at time, and I can’t see my fucking kids. I need to grind harder so I can have more money so you and little man can live comfortably if I go to prison.”
Your Man Chose Me Page 11