“Don’t you talk like that! You’re going to beat it, you hear me? You need to do a leave of absence for a month or two, but don’t just give up on getting your degree.”
“I wish I could be as positive as you are, but this shit doesn’t look good. This is the motherfucking South and they love to lock niggas up without proof.”
“What if I tell you I got proof?” I looked at him, not caring if he got mad about it. Shit, he should have been happy that I was smart enough to get him his “get out of jail” ticket.
“What you talkin’ ’bout?”
“I don’t want you to be mad at me, but a few days ago I went to go see Ayana.”
“What the fuck you do that for? I thought I told you to stay away from that bitch. I ’ont want her to keep feeding you no lies.”
I got up and opened my drawer. I took out the recording and threw it on his lap.
“What’s this?” He looked puzzled.
“Just cut it on.”
I sat back on the bed as he listened to the voices of me and his baby mama. This tape was even clearer than I thought.
“What the fuck? How you get her to tell you all this shit?”
“I knew that you didn’t do that shit to her; plus, I was mad that she was playing games with you, especially using the kids as a pawn.”
“Damn, babe, I’ma call my lawyer and tell him about this. This shit should clear my name. Ma, you just made my day.”
“You know I love me some you. I just hope it helps because I can’t lose you.”
“Shit, I can’t stand to be away from you and little man for a day much less years. Y’all my life for real.”
He started kissing on me and boy was my body reacting. We hadn’t had sex since I gave birth to my li’l man and that was almost two months ago. I’d been to my six-week visit and my doctor gave me the okay. I started kissing him back. He didn’t waste any time. He pulled my drawers down and start playing in my pussy. My pussy was wet and he dug his fingers deep down then licked his finger.
“Just go ahead and taste it. I know you miss me, daddy,” I teased.
“Say no more, baby girl.” He flipped me onto my stomach and positioned me on my knees. He started licking me from the back. The touch of his cold tongue sent chills up my spine. I wanted to fuck but he had me pinned down. I couldn’t move at all.
“Ohh, ohh,” I moaned and groaned. My body shivered as I busted in his mouth.
He didn’t move; instead, he licked up all my sweet juice. He turned me around and started kissing my breasts slowly. I felt his hard dick throbbing between my legs. I wanted him so bad, I felt like I was losing my mind. Then he slid all the way up in me then he paused for a quick second. I ground on his dick until he started grinding back. He held me close and slowly fucked me. It wasn’t rushed and our souls were definitely in cahoots.
“Baby, you need to pull out.”
“Damn this pussy too good. I swear I want to bust up in you.”
“Well, don’t. We just had a baby; plus, I don’t want no more kids right now. I got to finish school.”
“Babe, I’m about to busttttttttttt,” he yelled out as he jumped up off me and came all over my stomach.
I lay there trying to catch my breath. A bitch was getting old because I was breathing all heavy. He wasn’t no better because his ass looked like he couldn’t move.
“Let’s take a shower before the baby wakes up.”
“Yeah, ’cause you know he is almost up.”
We got in the shower and instead of washing up, he got behind me and started rubbing his soft dick on my ass. In no time he was rock hard again. He slid up in me and started fucking me real hard. I threw my ass back on him, as he threw that dick on me. After we were finished, we washed each other and got out.
Worn out from fucking. I lotioned up and got dressed in my pajamas. It was safe to say that nigga rocked my ass to sleep.
* * *
I didn’t see the need for a big wedding. I didn’t have any family to invite. His family and a few of my friends from school were the only ones I knew. I didn’t have anyone to walk me down the aisle, because my sperm donor was unknown.
Micah’s mother was happy to assist me with planning the wedding. I wanted to wait until his case was over, but he didn’t want to wait. I think in his mind he was scared that I would leave him if he went away for a long time. I wasn’t tripping because he was really my soul mate and I wasn’t going no-damn-where.
I found a cute Maggie Sottero wedding dress online, so I ordered it. I also found a pair of heels. I planned on killing it on my big day; after all, I was marrying one of the hottest niggas in DeKalb County. I knew bitches were going to be screenshotting pics and there was no way I was going to be caught slipping.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Ayana
A day went by, then two days, then three and Ant didn’t call or try to come by. By the fifth day I kind of realized that he wasn’t coming back. I was running out of options. The only hope that I had was I knew his behind was going to jail for beating me up.
I tried to call his cell phone but it was disconnected. His bitch ass done changed his number on me. I was about to call Tiana and ask for his number; the bitch said we were cool, so I wanted to see how cool we really were. The interruption of the doorbell prompted me to put the phone down and answer the door. On my way to the door, I said a quick prayer. “God, please let this be Ant.”
I took a quick glance through the peephole and saw two women dressed in suits. I swore these Jehovah’s Witness people were about to get cussed out.
“Yes? How many times I’ma tell y’all, I don’t want y’all knocking on my door,” I yelled.
“Excuse me, Miss Beasly?”
“Yes? And who are you? How do you know my name?”
“My name is Miss Warren and I’m with the office of Child Protective Services.”
“And what is it you want with me?” I stared this bitch down.
“Someone filed a complaint about child abuse and neglect of your two daughters. Can we come in?”
“Complaint? Ain’t shit wrong with my children so, lady, you can go on back where you came from.”
“We need to come inside and look around to make sure the children are not being abused or neglected.”
“And what’s going to happen if I don’t let y’all in?”
“I will call the DeKalb County Police Department and have the children removed from the home until our investigation is completed. It’s in your best interest to let us inside.”
I moved out of the doorway and motioned for them to come on in. I knew it didn’t look good but I hadn’t gotten around to washing the dishes or cleaning up yet.
“Where are the children?”
“They are in their rooms, right across the hall.”
“Ma’am, it’s best if you stay out here.”
I watched as they both walked into the girls’ room. I walked back into the living room and lit a cigarette. I was shaking so damn hard, it felt like I was convulsing. I took a few drags. I was trying to calm my nerves. Twenty minutes later they emerged from the room.
“Miss Beasly, we need to ask you some questions. Do you work?”
“No. What does that have to do with anything?”
“Do you receive any kind of assistance from the children’s father or the government?”
“No, that bastard doesn’t help. Matter of fact, I just put his ass on child support.”
I watched as one woman walked away while she talked on her cell phone. I tried to eavesdrop, but I couldn’t make out what she was saying. I swore I had a bad feeling about these two bitches.
“Ma’am, it’s in the children’s best interest to remove them from the home while we investigate these allegations.”
“What the hell you just say? Remove them from what home? Lady, you bugging out,” I shouted.
By the time I said that, I heard a loud bang on my front door. I looked at them bitches, back at my kids’ r
oom, then to the front door. I had that queasy feeling that shit was about to go down.
“That’s the police at the door. They are here to assist us with the removal of the children.”
The short bitch walked over to the door and opened the door. “The kids are in the back room. This is the mother.”
“Ma’am, please stand back.”
“You can’t take my babies.” I dashed to the back room, but the female cop snatched me up.
“Please calm down. You don’t want your girls to see you get arrested.”
“Noooooo, please don’t take my babies from me. Please I’m begging y’alllllll,” I screamed.
“Ma’am, please get yourself together. I don’t want to cuff you.”
“I don’t care. I just want to die. Please don’t take my girls from their mama.”
I saw the male officer leading my babies out of the room and out the door. I tried to get loose from this bitch but her grip on me was too tight. My heart was minced into pieces as they walked away. The fucked-up part was my kids didn’t say a fucking word to me. I was their mother and they didn’t even drop a tear. That alone was piercing my soul.
“Ma’am, your kids will be put into state custody. Within forty-eight hours a petition will be filed and a court hearing will follow to decide if your children should be returned to you. It is very important that you attend all of these hearings, and follow the service plan ordered by the court.”
“Bitch, fuck you! You a female; how can y’all do this to me? I am their mother,” I screamed as the bitch walked out and the officer let me go.
I collapsed on the living room floor and started bawling. How did this happen? Who did this shit to me? God, I swear I’m a good mother. My girls are all I have. I felt so weak, like all the energy had been sucked out of my body. I knew Ant did this shit. What kind of man would do this to his children and their mama? I knew: a fucking monster that was.
CHAPTER THIRTY
Tiana
My big day was coming and I was more than ready. Things were kind of looking up for us. Micah gave the tape to his lawyer and we were just waiting to see if the DA was going to drop the charges. I was sure they were, but he wasn’t.
I was grateful because his mother was there with me planning every step of the way. Me and this lady had grown so close that I even start calling her Ma. It was easier for me to look forward to this day, even though the bitch who birthed me wasn’t going to be there.
The wedding was taking place at the Ashton Gardens all-inclusive wedding venue in Atlanta. The minute I laid eyes on that place, I knew that’s where I wanted our wedding to take place. I hit up my homegirl Ebonee Oliver, from Events by Ebonee, to help us plan the wedding. I told her from the jump I didn’t want a big wedding, just a small event. She jumped on it and, before I knew it, everything was well put together. She gave me a discount, which also helped, because I had no idea things were that expensive. Micah didn’t care about spending; he just kept telling me I should let him worry about money. That’s one of the things I loved about him: he was in control and always made sure his son and I were well taken care of.
It seemed like every time we tried to be happy something always stood in the way. So, after I called social services on Ayana, I thought they was going to go over there and investigate and at least give the bitch a warning. Wrong! Micah stormed in the house yesterday, yelling about how the state got his babies. I was just as shocked as him, because I didn’t expect them to do that. The kids had a father, so if the mama was incompetent, their next choice should’ve been their daddy.
I ain’t gon’ lie, that shit hurt me when I saw him collapse on the ground hollering. I knew how much he loved those girls, and I knew he was hurting deeply.
“Baby, I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do to help you? You know I’m willing and ready.” I rubbed his back.
“Ma, I ’ont know what the fuck to do. How the fuck they just gon’ take my motherfucking kids? And the fucked-up part is that bitch got a restraining order against me so I can’t call to see what the fuck goin’ on with my kids. I want fucking answers. Who the fuck called these people and why?”
I knew then I couldn’t let him know that I was the one who called. I couldn’t risk him hating me. I vowed to keep my mouth shut and to act like I was just as shocked.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Ayana
A bitch must’ve done some fucked-up shit in life for all this to be happening to me. A few years ago I had it all: the man, the kids, and lots of money. Fast forward to today and that nigga done left me, and the fucking state took my motherfucking children behind some bogus allegation. Yes, it was bogus because even though I ain’t clean up the house in a while, I made sure the kids ate. They weren’t suffering like those motherfuckers claimed. I was broke as hell, I only had a few hundred dollars in my account, and I couldn’t afford a good lawyer.
I still couldn’t believe that Ant left me and his kids like that. I thought that after he heard about what happened to his girls, he would’ve at least come home so we could both fight for the girls. I now knew that nigga never loved me because, if he did, he wouldn’t have been able to just up and say fuck us.
“Hey, Mama,” I said as she opened her door.
“Hey. I see you got out your feelings.”
“Yeah. I’m just going through a rough time.” I busted out crying.
“What the hell wrong wit’ you and where are the girls?”
“The state took them, Mama.”
“The state? What yo’ ass done did now?”
“See, you always jump to conclusions. I ain’t did shit. Some dumbass bitch or nigga done made a bogus report that the kids are living in a dirty house and are not taken care of.”
“Hmm, seems like you done piss somebody off. By the way, did you know that child getting married on Saturday?”
“What child you talking about? And why would I care? I got my own fucking problems.”
“I’m talking ’bout Tiana. Y’all still tight right? I saw her mama the other day when I went to the food stamp office and she told me how hurt she feel because she didn’t get an invite.”
I looked at her to see if she was drunk. She had a habit of making up shit when she’d been drinking. “You joking right?”
“No. I thought you would be one of the bridesmaids, you two was so close. I heard she marrying some big timer with money.”
I stood there in a trance. I saw her mouth moving, but I could no longer make sense of what she was saying to me.
“Did you hear what I said?”
“Uh, what?”
“Never mind. So what you gon’ do about the kids? It’s a shame that you let them people take them precious babies from you.”
I was going to respond to her but I changed my mind. “I gotta go.” I turned around and walked out of the house.
I jumped into my car and grabbed my cigarettes, quickly lighting up one. I started to shake so bad as I thought about what that drunk bitch just said. This can’t be true! And if it is, who is Tiana marrying? I need to find out.
I called up Lori. I knew she would know because she was fucking one of Ant’s boys. “Hello.”
“Hey, girl, what’s up?
“I have a quick question.”
“What’s up?”
“Did you hear anything ’bout Ant getting married on Saturday?”
“You know I don’t want to get into this, but yes. I heard Mari and them talking about the wedding and they’re going to a bachelor party Friday night. I called yo’ ass the other night, but you ain’t pick up.”
“Do you know who he marrying?”
“I heard it’s the girl who had his son. Girl, I was shocked ’cause I thought y’all was gon’ work it out.”
“I thought so too. I got to go.” I hung up on that bitch. What kind of friend was she, she heard this shit and didn’t tell me?
Tiana’s bitch ass played me. That bitch stood in my house and lied to me. That ho deserved a
medal for that performance she gave.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Tiana
Love is a beautiful thing especially if you are sharing it with the right person. I never thought this day would come, when I would be walking down the aisle and tying the knot with the sexiest man alive. We done had some rough times, and there were times when I thought we weren’t going to make it, but our love for each other kept us grounded.
“You know, I am so proud of you and I am proud to call you my daughter-in-law. I never thought my son would grow up and finally find the right woman for him. Welcome to our family. You are now one of us,” his mother said to me as she hugged me.
I tried my best not to shed a tear because my face was beat and my makeup was flawless. “Thank you. I love your son with everything in me and I promise to be the best wife, friend, and life partner.”
“Well, let me get out here. I hear the music playing. It’s almost that time.”
“I will be out in a few.” We hugged again before she exited the dressing room.
Savage Garden’s song “I Knew I Loved You” blasted through the speakers. I sang along and rocked my head to the music. The minute I heard that song a year ago, I knew if I ever got married it would be the perfect song. I smiled in the mirror as I admired my reflection. I turned around ready to go sashay down the aisle and into the arms of my future husband.
I took two steps forward but stopped dead in my tracks.
“Going somewhere, bestie?” Ayana stood in front of me with a gun pointed to my head.
“I’m pretty sure you already know where I’m going. If you didn’t then you wouldn’t be here.”
“You lying, conniving bitch! You thought you was going to take my man and just live happily ever after. No, bitch, wrong! Anthony, or Micah as you know him, is mine.”
Pop! Pop!
I felt a sharp pain in my chest as I fell to the ground. I grabbed my chest and felt something wet and sticky. I raised my hand and noticed blood. I tried to yell, but blood was spewing out of my mouth and the words didn’t come out because my tongue felt stiff and heavy. I was in so much pain, and the room started to spin as I started losing consciousness. I heard Micah’s voice yelling something, as he knelt over me.
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