“Danika.” His voice was still wary, a warning that we should stop.
“Trust me?”
“Of course.”
I nodded and pulled his hands up to my breasts. For a second he hesitated, but then, finally, he gave in, his hands gently cupping my breasts. His thumbs moved over my nipples slowly, barely brushing them until I leaned forward, into his hands.
He moved with a speed I hadn’t expected, one hand grabbing my waist while he rolled us over on the sand. I liked being under him, feeling the weight of his body on mine, the way the hardness between his legs pressed into me. He kept kissing me, but now his mouth left mine and trailed down to my breasts.
“Sam,” I moaned. “Please don’t stop. Please.”
He didn’t, not even as my hands reached below his waist, trying to grab what I’d already felt on my thigh. I remembered my cousins with their mates, remembered those hard organs in the sunlit water. Sam felt longer than that, harder and bigger. I wondered how Mother Ocean could ever open me enough to let him enter. I wanted to see, but I couldn’t risk hurting him. Instead, I pulled and stroked him beneath the fabric while he kissed and caressed.
Before long, a heat grew between my legs along with another more familiar feeling. Somewhere in my head I worried about that second feeling, but with the sensations running through my body, the heat of his mouth on my breasts, his arms around me, the salt I tasted whenever I found a place on him to kiss, there was too much to think about.
I felt the waves hit my feet as the tide came on to the beach. Mother Ocean calling me home, telling me to trust Her and take Sam out into the water.
“Oh no!” I sat up and pushed him off, finally realizing what I was feeling.
“What? What’s wrong Danika, did I do something or—”
He glanced down to where my legs should have been and stopped.
“Shit. Oh shit. Oh no,” I moaned. The tide came up on the beach a little higher, swirling water lapping over my tail. But the water wasn’t high enough, not at all, I was stuck in the sand without legs. I might be able to wiggle my way down, but if someone found me now, I was dead.
“You’re a mermaid?”
“Get me in the water. Please. I have to get in the water. They’ll see me.”
Sam didn’t argue. He picked me up and carried me into the waves. I spent the whole time crying against his chest.
“You’re fine. I promise no one saw. You’re safe with me.” His comfort almost worked. The rest of the party was pretty far away.
“I can’t believe I forgot about the water. I wasn’t even thinking about it. I’m so stupid.”
“Or you were distracted. I’d like to think I had something to do with it.” He grinned at me and I laughed despite everything.
“You have no idea how much trouble I almost got in.”
“Really?”
“They’d report me. They’d ship me off to a lab somewhere and I’d never see the ocean again.”
“I would never let that happen.” He tilted my head up so he could look me deep in the eyes. “I swear to you, Danika, I will never let that happen.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I kissed him, just once, a very chaste kiss. I pushed away from him almost immediately, for his safety, because I really, really wanted to keep kissing him but now…there was no way I was going to risk it now.
“Thank you.” I reach down below the water and pulled off my skirt. “Guess I don’t need this anymore.”
I tried to throw it on the beach but it landed about two feet away in the water. He grabbed it and hefted it on to the sand near both our shirts with one smooth movement. “Better?”
“Much. But you need to go with it.”
“Really?”
“Do you know anything about mermaids?”
He shook his head, treading water to get closer to me. “I’d like to learn.”
“We’re really dangerous.”
“You don’t seem dangerous.” He reached out and put his arms around me. I knew I should push him away, for his sake, but I didn’t want to. I wanted to grab him and take him. Make him mine.
“I could drown you.”
“I’m not afraid of drowning.” He kissed me, moving his body against mine, and I lost every bit of sense I’d ever had. I wrapped my tail around him, and kissed him back. In a second my scales had his shorts off, the buttons torn to shreds on the sharp edges. I kept my arms around him, holding him up in the water. My tail twisted tighter, opening my scales to him as we dropped in the water. He kept kissing me, and I was kissing back and nothing else mattered in the world. Then, just like it was meant to happen, it did. He was inside me, and the way it felt pushed everything out of my mind.
The second I came to my senses, I loosened my tail and pushed us up to the surface. We’d only been under a minute or two, maybe five at the most. I might still be able to save him, if I got him on to the sand and did CPR if I—
“I’m fine. Danika, don’t freak out. I’m fine.”
I stopped, not believing he’d even spoken. I blinked twice, but he was still smiling, his head bobbing above the waves.
“I can’t drown.”
“What?”
“Salt golem, remember?” He grinned almost a mile wide and pulled me close to him to whisper in my ear. “We don’t need to breathe. As long as I’m in salt water, I can’t drown.”
“You can’t drown?” I asked, incredulous. Mother Ocean had made a man who couldn’t drown. Could that really be true? “So you’re okay?”
“I’m awesome. I’m amazing. I feel great. How about you? I hope you feel great too.”
I laughed. “I can’t believe you have to ask.”
We kissed floating in the water, but the kisses felt softer now, calmer. I wasn’t a virgin anymore and I hadn’t killed anyone. Sam couldn’t drown, so finally, finally there was a boy I could be with and not hurt. He hadn’t even mentioned if my scales cut him. I couldn’t stop myself from smiling over how good it was to know I hadn’t hurt him. It felt like part of my birthday wish had come true, like at least one of my biggest problems had disappeared. I was trying to decide what to say next when I heard Ashley scream. We’d drifted away from the party, but not so far away that we couldn’t see the flashing red and blue lights of a cop car.
“Can you get your legs back?”
“In a minute or two.”
“Okay. We’ll go back to the beach. I’ll make sure no one sees you.”
“I can swim home from here. I can swim you home with me. It’s not that far. We can—”
“You, in the water, please swim in to shore.” The cop on the beach shined a flashlight on us.
“Turn around,” Sam shouted back.
“What?” The cop didn’t like that idea at all.
“We were skinny-dipping. We’re not coming in unless you turn around and let us get our clothes on first.”
The cop seemed to think about it for a minute, and then decided it probably wasn’t worth fighting about. “Fine.”
“I’ll go in first. I’ll distract him while you get your legs. If anything happens, swim home. He didn’t see your face. I’ll point some other girl on the beach out and say that was you.”
I nodded, scared and glad he was thinking straight. I didn’t know how long it would take to get my legs, so I started concentrating on them when I saw Sam come out of the water. Through the grace of Mother Ocean, my tail shifted just as Sam handed me my skirt. The fabric had dried, but it clung to me and the cop wasn’t above staring at my legs. My tail had left my underwear a shredded mess of fabric on the beach. I hoped the cop didn’t recognize it. He kept looking at me like he could see through my clothes.
Sam noticed and didn’t approve. “Keep your eyes off my girlfriend.”
“We found a body in the water not far from here. You’re lucky you’re not dead. Come with me.”
We followed him down the beach and the cop left us with a bunch of the other kids. Sam didn’t leave my side, even as A
shley came over and hugged me.
“Are you okay? Did that creep do anything to you?” She stared at the cop’s back, her eyes filled with hate.
“Creepy looks, but he didn’t touch me.”
“This isn’t happening. He clearly doesn’t know who I am.” Ashley was getting worked up. Soon she would start screaming. Usually that embarrassed me, but tonight I planned to enjoy the show.
“Not just who you are,” Sarah said, her voice eager. “But who my dad is.”
“Who’s your dad?” Sam asked.
“Sheriff,” Sarah told him with glee. “The guy who signs that jerk’s paycheck. So when he stared at me getting out of the water, that pretty much cost him his job.”
I looked at her, dripping wet with her clothes hastily thrown on but so furious. Sarah didn’t usually brag about her dad. At election time, she actually took some heat for having to do campaign stuff. Tonight, for the first time, all of that would be a blessing.
“Have you called him?” I asked the question I knew she was dying to answer.
“Oh yeah. In fact, I think Officer Creeper just figured it out.”
Twenty yards away from us, the cop who’d stared at me so hard didn’t look happy. Another officer had pulled him aside for a serious conversation. I couldn’t hear the words but enjoyed the looks and the finger shaking. We all watched as the guy took his lumps. Then, when I thought it was over, a sheriff’s car pulled up and Sarah’s dad got out.
I expected screaming or yelling; but instead her dad said something to the officer, with an angry look but complete control. The other man slunk away, defeated. Less than a minute later, Sarah’s dad stood in front of us.
“Ashley, Danika, Jennifer, you three are free to go. I can vouch for you. The rest of you, the officers are going to talk to you for a little bit and then, if you’re sober you can leave. Sarah, you’re coming with me.” He didn’t look too proud of her, and Sarah didn’t reply. She fell into step behind him, walking away from us without a backward glance.
“I’ll get you home,” Sam said, taking my hand.
“No way.” Ashley stepped in front of him. “I brought her, I’m taking her home. Sorry, Sam.”
I looked between them, completely not sure what to say when pain laced across my belly. I didn’t think that chocolate cake agreed with me. “She’s probably right, Sam. You don’t know how long it’ll be until they let you go. I’ll call you later.”
He was about to protest when yet another police officer walked over and asked his name. Sam ignored the guy and spoke to Ashley. “Get her home safe, okay?”
“Promise.” Ashley led me up the dunes. We were in her car before she spoke again. “I’ve been watching him drink all night. I mean, everyone is drinking but he’s probably not sober. I know you two were off on your own, I wasn’t trying to break you up.”
“That’s really sweet. Thank you.” I sat with my legs curled up to my chest, hoping it would make the cramps easier, and hoping too that Ashley wouldn’t notice my underwear-less state.
She shrugged. “I’m not evil, you know. I mean, I know I’m queen of the world, but it doesn’t make me a bad person.”
She blinked hard, like she was going to cry.
“Is something going on with you?” It was hard to concentrate on her with the pain in my middle, but I knew this wasn’t normal.
“Too much caffeine, not enough sleep, who knows. Mostly, I’m glad you live close to the beach.”
A few minutes later when she pulled into my driveway, I knew I should invite her in and offer to talk, but I could barely breathe with the pain. As I opened the car door my body started to cramp, and I realized this was something worse than an upset stomach, something a thousand times worse. I ducked out of the car half-mumbling a goodbye to Ashley. Each time I tried to talk hot pain cut across my belly. My legs felt weak as I stumbled to the ocean. I needed to get into the water. I noticed the blood when I got my skirt off, more of it as I got my tail. By the time I was under the waves the blood had turned thick.
It looked black and tar-like in the moonlight. It didn’t wash away, not even as I sank deeper. For once, I didn’t notice my gills coming out, didn’t notice the ocean around me. I hit the sandy bottom ten feet down and curled on my side. The cramping went on forever, but eventually it got less and less painful. Finally, I was able to sit up.
The dark stain in the water, floated away, embraced by Mother Ocean. I knew what it was then, or what it could’ve been, if someone, Mom or Grandma, anyone had told me what to do. If I had known more, it could have been a baby.
Chapter Twelve
The pain exhausted me and the waves rocked me to sleep. Somehow in the night, Mom knew to come find me. She lifted me up and pulled me to the shore. We sat on the rocks, our tails drying in the night air.
“I think we need to talk about some stuff,” Mom started, but then she stopped. I cried and for once, Mom held me close. Rubbed my back as if I were a little kid, telling me it was okay. I didn’t know how to tell her it wasn’t, how to tell her about any of it. She didn’t push me, but by the time our tails dried to legs, she propped me up and took me into the house.
“That’ll get me drunk.” Okay, not the best way to respond when your Mom offers you a cup of hot cocoa, but it would and I didn’t think being drunk would help the situation any. It sure hadn’t helped on the beach.
“Not this much. This will just help you relax.”
I looked at the steaming mug warily.
“Trust your mother for once.”
I took a sip. It did taste good. In fact, it tasted great, but I knew all about what chocolate could do to mermaids. Like make us forget what it felt like to get our tail.
“Let’s start with the basics,” Mom said her back toward me. She was cleaning the kitchen, something she never did. Heck, I didn’t even know she knew how. “Every time you have sex, I mean every single time, you’re going to get pregnant.”
My mouth hung open in shock. “But, what about protection or…”
“Birth control pills won’t work. Nothing that’s developed for humans does—well, except condoms. But no one brings those out into the water.”
I nodded and sipped more cocoa. If we were finally going to have the big talk about the birds and the bees and mermaids, I was going to need it.
“But it’s not so bad, because most of those pregnancies won’t last.”
“Most?”
“Ninety-five percent. I’ve been pregnant like a hundred times, and I’ve only got you.”
“But you lost all those babies.” Tears came in the corners of my eyes and I had to blink a lot to stop myself from crying.
“It’s easier if you don’t think of them as babies. They’re not yet, not really anyway, and usually it’s only for a few hours. Your body takes what it needs from your partner, but if something goes wrong, it ends the pregnancy. It’s not something you have to get upset about.”
“Not something…to get upset about?” I couldn’t speak. My mother had just told me I was going to miscarry nearly every time I got pregnant. How could I stop myself from getting upset about that?
“It’s our way.” Mom faced me now, putting her own mug down. She came around the counter and looked me in the eyes. “I know I spoil you. I let you play human, but you’re not. You’re a mermaid. This is who we are. This is what we do. You need to accept that.”
“I…” I swallowed hard. What could I tell her except the truth? “I don’t know if I can.”
“You will. Tonight was your first time but it gets easier. I should’ve talked with you sooner but I never expected you’d be ready to drown someone so quickly.” Her mouth quirked up in a smile, a little proud.
“I didn’t.”
“What?” Her smile evaporated.
“He didn’t drown. I, uh, I mean he…” I was about to say he was a salt golem, but I didn’t want to. Not yet. I wanted that to belong to me.
“He didn’t drown. But you cut him with your tai
l, right?”
“We weren’t in the water long enough.” I blushed. Somehow, the conversation had gotten away from me. I didn’t want to tell her about Sam. I didn’t want to talk to her about what we’d done. Sure, I was desperate for facts; but Sam was mine. I didn’t even want her to meet him.
“Oh honey.” She ran her hand down my arm, trying to comfort me. “I forgot how scary and crazy the first time is. Your hormones drive you insane and you don’t even know what you’re doing. It gets better.”
I almost choked on cocoa. It wasn’t just hormones. I had known what I was doing. And now that I knew Sam wouldn’t drown, I intended to do it again. “So, condoms or a miscarriage, that’s how that works?”
“And normally, he’ll drown. Let the body go; Mother Ocean will take care of it. The same way She’ll take care of your blood afterward.”
“That’s why you’re here.” It hit me. “That’s why you’re home. You smelled my blood in the water.”
She nodded, took a long sip of her drink.
“You weren’t worried about me, or checking to see how school was going—at least, not until you smelled it.”
“Why would I worry about how school was going? In another few months you’ll be done and you’ll come home with me. I’m sorry I ever promised your father I’d let you graduate high school, but now that you’ve gotten over your prudishness, you’ll have a baby of your own. Are you really going to let that little girl risk going to school?”
“That little girl? What if it’s a little boy? What happens to the boys, Mom?”
She shrugged, not caring. “There are no mermen, just mermaids.”
“Never a boy?”
She exhaled, exasperated with me. This was how our conversations always went. “Never. When will you accept what you are?”
I wanted to ask her a thousand things about having children and being a mother, a thousand questions she’d never answer.
“How did Dad die?” I’d never asked her, not like that, straight out so she couldn’t lie.
“He drowned.”
“During sex?”
She folded her arms and looked at me like she was being incredibly patient. “Of course.”
The Mermaid and the Murders Page 12