Redeemed: Book Two of the Love Seekers Series
Page 22
“I’ve never had the chance, and if what you say is true, I’ll be sure to always drive myself going forward.”
Anger rose up in me again. I was angry that this happened to her, that her future remained uncertain, and that she was hurt. And even though she was a crazy driver, I was livid that he may never get the chance to drive again.
Maybe not the last since they could modify a car so that people whose legs were paralyzed could drive, but it made me furious that we might have to consider something like that in the future. I didn’t know how she would react to that or anything else. She loathed people who were disabled, and my imagination kept picturing her sitting in a wheelchair the rest of her life. It scared me to think about how she would feel about herself if something like that happened.
“Chad?” Justin called out my name through the phone.
“Yeah?” I couldn’t say anything else.
“She’s in my thoughts. If her family needs anything, please let me know.”
“I’ll pass on the message. I’ve got to go back up.”
“Thank you for letting me know.”
“Yeah,” I said and then hung up. She had been temporarily removed from her position and placed on a leave of absence, and based on what I had seen before she stopped speaking to me, she was on the verge of hitting bottom. This probably sent her over the edge.
The one thought that I tried to forget the moment it popped in my head when I heard she had been driving crazily without her seatbelt, cried out to be heard. Had she done this on purpose? Had she wanted to end things? Rayne was a proud woman who believed she was above others, and I couldn’t believe that she’d do this on purpose. She was too stubborn and too much of a fighter to do something like that.
I took my time returning to the hospital, walking slowly in order to collect my thoughts. I loved Rayne. I knew that. She had caught my eye when she was nothing more than a short, skinny teenager, and then she blossomed into a gorgeous woman who needed an attitude adjustment. And if I told her of my feelings for her, I predicted that she would turn me down flat. I had no proof, nothing to show for it. The only thing she knew was my contempt and my attempts to change her…for her sake.
I was screwed.
When I got back to the waiting room, I noticed that Rayne’s parents were missing. Had something happened while I was making my call and cooling my head? More bad news?
“My dad went back to recovery. Since Rayne is the only one in there, they went ahead and let both of them back there for now,” Bryan answered my unspoken question. “Mark said he would call you later, but he had to get home.”
Until he said something, I hadn’t realized that Mark was no longer there. I really needed to pull my head out of my ass and start thinking of others. “Oh, okay.” I nodded and sat down in the same chair I previously occupied. I was the odd man out. Bryan sat with Emma. Mel leaned on her husband Luke with her feet once again propped up on Emma’s walker seat.
I was alone with no one to lean on, no one to share this emotional burden with. During Rayne’s surgery, I at least had Candy’s hand to hold. I didn’t feel so secluded then.
“My mom said that you and Rayne had been spending time together,” Bryan stated, fishing for information.
Nodding again, I said, “We have, but I didn’t realize your mom knew we were still hanging out after that first time.”
“She did. I thought you hated my sister.” His tone accused me of some unknown crime.
“I thought I did too,” I spoke softly.
“Why?” Bryan demanded. I looked up and saw him grinding his teeth, his jaw moving back and forth.
“I don’t know.” I had a list of crimes I could confess when it came to Rayne, and yet, I couldn’t, because I feared that if I did, he would ban me from seeing his sister. That was the last thing I wanted.
“Excuse me? What? You couldn’t have Emma, so you moved onto the next available person? My sister?” Now he sounded angry and rose to his feet to face me.
He had no idea how truly messed up this whole situation was. I wanted to make Emma’s life easier because she was a friend, and somewhere along the way something changed. I found my heart in Rayne.
Emma grabbed his hand. “We’re in a fucking hospital. Bryan, sit down. I know you’re scared and worried, but attacking Chad isn’t going to help right now. You need to chill out on the big brother caveman act.”
Falling into the chair next to his wife, Bryan growled, “This isn’t over, Chad.”
I didn’t think it was, and I had this suspicion that my friend would be kicking my ass later…or attempting to.
Chapter 31
Rayne
E verything hurt like I had been pushed through a meat grinder. What the hell had happened to me?
Flashes of blue and red, of being unable to stop my car, and then hitting the tree all appeared in my consciousness. The accident. I vaguely remembered passing out, but I couldn’t seem to recall anything else. And even if I could, I wanted to stop thinking, stop remembering, and most importantly, stop feeling the pain.
Why was it so quiet? Wasn’t I in the emergency room? It still had to be the hospital because I heard the constant beeping and everything smelled of alcohol and disinfectant—that patented hospital odor.
I breathed in a little deeper than I had been and winced. It hurt to breathe, and it also hurt when I moved any of my facial muscles. So much pain in my arms, shoulders, neck, and my head felt like someone had taken a sledgehammer to it.
And then it hit me. Not everything hurt. My stomach and chest hurt, as did my face, but my legs didn’t hurt. Odd. Maybe they hadn’t been injured during the crash? That would be a miracle in and of itself. The way I was feeling, told me I had fucked up royally. Once again, I allowed my emotions to take control of my ability to think clearly. In that moment after I got in my car and cried at least a gallon of tears, I didn’t care what happened to me or anyone else. I was upset, mad, and defeated.
With my emotions all over the place, I made a mistake. A mistake that cost me greatly. I wrecked my car, ended up in the hospital, and I was certain, my parents had been told and would worry.
But none of that explained why my legs didn’t hurt. I tried to lift one, prepared for the pain. I didn’t feel any movement. I couldn’t tell because I couldn’t feel anything.
The beeping on the monitor started to speed up, my monitor, alerting everyone within a one mile radius that I was upset. Upset? No, that word was too mild for how I felt. Freaked out, panicked, scared shitless…those were better words to describe the emotions roiling through me.
I heard the digital noise speed up even more. I heard voices besides me start to panic, and someone yelling for a doctor. Still, I did not open my eyes, afraid of what I would see, or wouldn’t see. My heart was pumping so hard, it hurt my ribs. Everything filled me with pain, but the way I felt now, I could almost ignore the pain due to my level of panic.
Almost.
My breathing became frantic and uneven, hurting my chest and ribs. And because I kept trying to moving my legs, to do something, straining my whole body as the monitors screamed at me to stop, my own body protested and my pain increased to a level I hadn’t known existed, hadn’t ever wanted to know existed. It was brutal and punishing.
And as bad as it was, it still did not allow me to forget that I couldn’t feel my legs.
People around me spoke, told me to calm down. I thought I heard my mother’s voice and then my father’s before another person told them to get out of the way. No, don’t leave me!
“Rayne, we need you to open your eyes. Can you do that for me?” a woman’s voice coaxed me.
No, I couldn’t. I didn’t want to. It hurt too much.
Another voice, this time a man. “Rayne, you’re going to be all right. You’re in the recovery room at Roper Hospital. You’ve been in an accident. I need you to stop trying to move. You had surgery and are coming out of the anesthesia. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
I understood. I was injured, not a moron.
“Breathe normally. I know it hurts and that you’re probably experiencing some shock. Can you open your eyes for me?” The same man continued to talk to me. His voice soothing and not rushed or panicked unlike the woman.
Without opening my eyes or moving my jaw, I spoke through clenched teeth, “Hurts. Can’t move.” I wanted to cry with the effort. Even that much caused me so much pain. I prayed he would knock me out and make me forget the pain and my legs.
“I don’t want you to move right now. I need you to continue to lie still.”
“Legs,” I said with effort as tears starts to seep out of my eyes and fall down my temples and into my hair.
“You’re…legs,” his voice was a little softer, a little…disappointed. I heard him sigh. “There is a lot of swelling and you have a lot of injuries, so it isn’t uncommon that you would have some numbness or inability to move. Do you understand?”
I moaned in answer, afraid of how much it would hurt if I attempted anything else.
“Are you in pain?”
I moaned again.
“Is it at a ten?”
I moaned, hoping he understood that was a “yes.”
“A ten. Okay. I’m going to give you some medicine to help with the pain. Go ahead and push 10cc’s of morphine.”
I couldn’t push anything, so I assumed his instructions were for someone else. What had he said about my injuries? I was suddenly feeling very lightheaded and loopy. I wanted to laugh, but dared not. And I couldn’t recall what exactly I found funny. As soon as thought something, it drifted away and I couldn’t reach it, but then something else would come to me, only to disappear as well. I couldn’t think at all.
And then like a soft blanket darkness surrounded me again and helped me to push the pain to the back of my mind. I couldn’t forget it, because it always lingered, but at least it wasn’t yelling in my face any longer.
Chapter 32
Chad
H ow long had it been since Rayne had gotten out of surgery? Hours? Minutes? It almost felt like days, but I knew that much time hadn’t passed. I wanted to see her, to hold her hand and tell her that I was there for her, however, I’d been told I wasn’t allowed back there. I knew better than to push it. Bryan already watched me like a hawk, anything more would draw even more attention to me. Then again, I knew the only reason he hadn’t asked me anything else was because Emma requested he save his interrogation.
Wrapped. So wrapped.
Shaking my head, I wondered if Rayne had me just as wrapped. I wasn’t sure. There were some things I couldn’t concede, but everything else, I would probably give her the world if she asked it of me. Not that she would.
At this point, I prayed she would be all right. Not only from the surgery and her injuries, but that the doctor had been wrong about her legs. He had to be wrong.
The quiet whispers of a sniffle reached my ears, and my head snapped up. Rayne’s parents were coming our way and both of them looked shell shocked. What the hell happened back in recovery?
Before I could jump up, Bryan was at his mother’s side. “Is she…is Rayne…okay?” He had a hard time speaking and kept having to stop in order to swallow the lump in his throat. No one wanted to say anything wrong. Maybe we were all afraid of jinxing her. The poor woman had already been put through the ringer.
With a shake of her head, Candy whimpered, “No, but she woke up and started to…” She turned and clung to her son, her body wracked with sobs.
Shit. What happened? What was wrong with Rayne? I wanted answers.
Clearing his throat, Fred continued, but his own voice warbled with emotion. “She woke up, and her monitors started to go crazy. The doctor who did the surgery came in and…” His words tapered off, and tears flowed down his face, showing the world his pain.
Today, I was seeing a different side of this man. Gone was his normally stoic nature, and it was hard to watch him breaking down and struggling to speak because his daughter was in this place fighting for her life…or maybe she fought for her quality of life.
Fred had always been able to speak whatever was on his mind, but today he stumbled. Seeing him like this, re-emphasized how serious Rayne’s situation was, and I could feel my anxiety growing. Blood raced through my veins and I had a hard time breathing. The longer I waited for a straight answer from him, the more my stomach flipped and my heart fluttered in fear. Something happened to my Rayne.
Impatient, I grabbed him by the shoulders and demanded, “What happened? What did the doctors do? What’s wrong with Rayne?”
He sounded utterly broken when he responded, “They said they didn’t think she would wake up for a while and that they would probably move her to a room. And then she…she woke up. Her monitors were going crazy and she was doing something, but I don’t know what. Her body wasn’t moving, but her monitors. Everyone rushed in and they made us leave. We don’t know what’s going on.” I had never seen a man cry the way Fred did. He clung to me, wrapping his arms around my shoulders, and cried for his daughter.
I could feel my own tears fall as I patted his back and tried to comfort him. I was in no condition to soothe anyone, not when inside I was also in emotional turmoil.
I imagined with my outburst, Bryan had more questions than he previously had, and I could almost feel his eyes on me, trying to stare into my soul, searching for all of the pieces of the puzzle. But he wouldn’t find them because he would never suspect that my number one enemy had become the person I cared for the most in this world.
Looking up, I found Emma staring at me with an odd expression. She knew. I didn’t know how, but she knew how I felt about Rayne.
I couldn’t lose her. Not Rayne. If I had to chase her into the afterworld and pull her back into the living with my own two hands, I would.
A small smile appeared on Emma’s soft, full lips and she nodded. Her brown bangs fell into her eyes. She had recently cut her hair into a pixie cut, and I think it showed off her chocolate brown eyes even more. No one else I met had brown eyes quite like hers.
But then again, no one had blue eyes quite like Rayne. Rayne’s eyes were two jewels that sparkled when she was happy, and dulled when she was sad. And when she was angry, which she often was with me, they burned with a passionate fire that practically consumed her and scorched me. No one was like Rayne Sampson.
“Mr. and Mrs. Sampson,” a voice called out. It was the same doctor that had come to speak to us before.
“Yes?” Rayne’s parents spoke in unison, not bothering to correct the man.
“We gave her pain meds to control her pain,” he started to explain and then paused.
In his hesitation, Fred stepped away from me and asked, “What’s wrong? We thought she wasn’t supposed to wake up.”
“I wish I could tell you, but unfortunately, this does happen occasionally. I do want to prepare you though, she did say that she couldn’t move her legs. As I’ve told you, with her injuries and the swelling, this could very well be a temporary condition. I’ve already schedule neurology to examine her tomorrow, however, until some of the swelling goes down, it is possible we won’t know the extent of some of the damage. I wish I had better news, but I don’t.”
I appreciated his honesty, and I could tell that he appeared uncomfortable by the way he shifted from side to side. He wasn’t trying to bolt, but he didn’t like passing on this news. I had to give it to him though, he did try to maintain eye contact and sounded truly apologetic. However, I still wanted to punch him on Rayne’s behalf. I knew it wasn’t his fault, but this was the news none of us wanted to hear. And I swore if anyone said, “At least she’s alive,” I’d rip them apart with my own bare hands.
“If this is just temporary,” I said, “How long will it be before she will be able to move her legs again?”
Shaking his head, he answered, “There is no way to tell. There have been cases that have lasted days, and others that lasted weeks and months.
And others…some have never regained their ability to walk.”
I wanted to punch him.
Candy, Emma, and Mel gasped. Bryan and I appeared ready to hit something, anything…most likely the doctor. And Fred, walked up to the doctor and shook his hand. “Thank you for everything you’re doing for our daughter.”
“We’re all doing all we can for her. We’ll be moving her up to the ICU floor shortly. I’ll come and inform you of her room number when I have that information. Visitors will be limited, and it’s already after visiting hours, however, you’re more than welcome to hang out in the waiting room until you are allowed in her room tomorrow morning.” He stopped and his expression turned even more apologetic if that was possible. “I’m sorry. They’re strict with their visiting hours, so you won’t be able to see her again tonight. I can get the number for a nearby hotel if you’d rather stay there than here or at home, if that would help. The nursing and medical staff on the floor will have your contact information and will call you if there are any problems.”
“Thank you. If you could get us the number to the hotel, that would help us,” Fred said softly, his voice gruff with emotion.
When the doctor left to get the information, Rayne’s father turned around and addressed us. “There is no sense in sitting in a waiting room all night since they will call with any issues. I’ll get Candy and me a room at the hotel. I suggest everyone else go home and get some sleep. Or at least try to get some sleep.”
I was about to argue, and I was certain that I wasn’t the only one. Bryan stood in front of me holding his mother, and I saw his body stiffen. He appeared on the verge of protesting.
Fred held up his hand, staving off any disagreement. “We can all meet up here in the morning. Go home. Candy and I will call you if anything happens. Mel needs to get home anyway. She shouldn’t be here.” He gave her a pointed look. “Luke, get her home and back to bed, even if you have to tie her to it. I don’t want her back up here. We’ll call if anything happens.” I didn’t have to glance behind me to know Mel was getting ready to lay into him, but he held her off. “You are under doctor’s orders. If I have to, I’ll call your doctor and tell him what you did today. You need to worry about your own little one. We’ll take care of things here. We love you and we need you to be all right too. We don’t want to have to worry about you and Rayne.”