Shalia's Diary Omnibus

by Tracy St. John

  “They’re at work,” she moaned. “What will they say when they find out? Oh, if I could only undo this!”

  The door opened. We were underground, though the ceiling vid showed a sunny day. Another perfect day on Kalquor, except a hysterical woman had snatched my child out of apparent temporary insanity.

  I had to handle her carefully. She had Anrel. I had no idea how messed up Hina was.

  “Listen to me, Hina,” I said. “I’m coming to get Anrel. I’m not angry. You need to understand, Anrel has a tracker implanted on her. The authorities are on their way if they’re not outside your door at this moment. You need to com your Dramok immediately.”

  She wailed. “I’m so sorry! He’ll never forgive me for being arrested. For taking a child.”

  “Of course he will. I’m Anrel’s mother, and I’ve forgiven you.” I’d have told her any lie to make sure Anrel was okay.

  “There they are.” Larten pointed at a dwelling, in front of which about fifteen black-uniformed men swarmed. Half a dozen small, official shuttles had landed nearby. Only emergency vehicles were allowed in the underground area.

  “Hina, I’m almost to your home.” I sprinted on, ignoring the stitch in my side. “You don’t have to open the door until I get there. I won’t let the authorities bother you until your Dramok shows up.”

  Her voiced still hitched, but she seemed to be calming down. “I have him on the other line. I haven’t told him what I’ve done. He’s on his way.”

  “Good. We’ll work this out,” I gasped. The officers had alerted to our approach. “Let me through and stay back! She’ll allow me in,” I shouted.

  “They’re aware of the situation, my Matara,” Larten said. “They’ve keyed on the frequency exchange and have heard your conversation.”

  “Open the door, Hina,” I huffed. “I’m outside.” I ran past the formsuited officers, straight up to the house.

  The oval-shaped door opened. Hina appeared. The big Amazon seemed to have shrunk the last time I’d seen her. Her regal face was streaked with tears, her expression devastated.

  She stood aside as I reached her. “Go to her,” she said, breaking into fresh weeping. “Anrel wants you.”

  I raced toward the sound of my daughter’s sobs. She was steps away in the greeting room, sitting on a thick rug and surrounded by pillows. I scooped her up.

  “Hush, sweet baby. Mommy’s here. Mommy’s got you.”

  Anrel looked at me, hiccupped, and then beamed her two-toothed grin. She was okay. Upset, but fine from what I could see. My knees went weak with relief.

  I turned to Hina, who had closed the door behind me. “Anrel’s fine,” I told her. “See? It’s okay.”

  I was trying to calm her down. She seemed so destroyed. Obliterated. She sank down to the floor and sat, her shoulders shaking as she cried.

  All at once, my concern for Hina wasn’t an act. With Anrel unharmed, my desperate terror easing, I could see how devastated the Kalquorian woman was. It was the most pitiful display ever.

  She bawled, pulling handfuls of her long hair, curled on the floor like a beaten child. Despite what she’d done to me, taking my baby, I couldn’t help but be swamped by sympathy. Hina was that distraught. I had no doubt she was remorseful for what she’d done. I feared she might hurt herself.

  “Hina, calm down. It’s going to be fine.”

  Life is weird. My daughter was abducted, and I was trying to make the kidnapper feel better. However, I was pretty sure I knew why Hina did it. Her agony was heartbreaking to watch, even for me, the wronged mother.

  I sat next to her. Anrel, bless her little heart, patted Hina’s hair, which hung over her face. She cooed, as if to say all was forgiven.

  I tried to reach through to her again. “Hina, calm down. Your Dramok will think Anrel and I beat you up. Deep breaths, girl. Come on. You can do this.”

  I don’t do the cheerleader bit well, but my efforts had an effect.

  “I can’t believe I did this.” Hina lifted her head to peer at me through the curtain of hair. “How could I take your baby? Knowing what I do of losing a child, how could I do that? What kind of monster am I?”

  “You’re not a monster,” I insisted, taking her hand. “A monster wouldn’t have commed me. A monster wouldn’t be devastated over it. I can’t tell you why this happened, but it’s not because you’re a terrible person. I don’t believe that for a second.”

  She stared at me. She looked at me as if I’d declared myself empress of Kalquor. “If our roles were reversed—if it were my child snatched by someone—I would have killed them. I wouldn’t have hesitated for a second.”

  I blinked at her and said the first stupid thing that came to mind. “Do you have a blaster I can use?”

  Her mouth dropped open. After a couple of seconds of shock, Hina started laughing and crying at once, rocking back and forth under a somewhat merrier storm of emotions. Anrel crowed, clapped her hands, and laughed along. Though she’d been upset when I’d arrived, she was herself again. With any luck, she’d not been traumatized by her abduction.

  Hina was still laughing and crying when a tall, handsome man rushed through the door, Larten and uniformed officers at his back. They stopped short to see all us sitting on the floor.

  Hina’s moment of hilarity ended when the man in the lead shouted, “My Matara! What is all this?”

  She stared up at him and her pretty face crumpled. “My Dramok. I’m sorry.” She bent over and sobbed.

  As he knelt beside her, his arms circling her waist, Larten scooped Anrel and me up. “Shalia. Anrel. Thank the ancestors you’re all right.”

  “We’re fine, Larten. No one has been hurt,” I reassured him.

  Seot and Cifa were with us all at once. “Mother of All, my baby. My Matara.” Cifa’s eyes were bright with relieved tears.

  I handed Anrel to him. He seemed to need her at that instant, to hold her and fuss over her, reassuring himself that she was okay. Meanwhile, Seot kissed first her, then me, then her, and then me again. Our family was safe and sound once more.

  It took a while to sort the situation out. The rest of Hina’s clan showed up and worked to calm her. I was relieved they appeared to be caring men. She was in need of their support. She kept falling apart as she begged for forgiveness.

  The officers took statements. The two lead cops were as unlikely a duo as I could imagine though they were both Nobeks. I couldn’t visualize a more dissimilar pair. Nobek Breft was the shortest Kalquorian man I’d ever seen. Even so, he had the expression of barely-contained wildness, as if civilization was an ill-fitting mask he was on the verge of ripping off. His partner, an absolute behemoth of muscle with a head full of dreadlocks, should have been far scarier. Yet there was a merriment in Officer Raxstad’s eyes, similar to my own mischievous Larten, that made me much less nervous than the controlled ferocity of Breft.

  “If you press charges against Matara Hina, she’ll likely be remanded to a psychiatric facility rather than a correctional institution,” Breft told me.

  I stared at him, aghast. “Press charges? Look at her, Officer. She’s a wreck. I doubt she’ll pull a stunt like this again.”

  “That’s understanding of you,” the mountain named Raxstad rumbled at me. “However, she has admitted her guilt. She took your baby. You are entitled to see her stand trial and be punished.”

  “I agree something has to be done. But listen to her,” I begged. Hina continued to sob, a limp rag in her frantic clanmates’ arms. “What kind of psychiatric facility are we talking about, anyway?”

  Breft’s gaze was level, though I had a vision of him chewing on live animals. I’m sure he doesn’t, but I was betting he ate a lot of his meat super rare. “For a Matara, such places are mild, with the focus on rehabilitation. However, it would be a criminal institution with few luxuries. It would also be a permanent, public mark on her record.”

  Prophets and ancestors, I couldn’t imagine doing that to Hina when her regret was so obvio
us. She needed help, not a criminal record. I looked to Seot. “I don’t want this following her for the rest of her life, not if it was a momentary impulse that won’t happen again.”

  Seot contemplated for a second before addressing the officers. “What do you do in the event we don’t press charges? There are still repercussions, I believe?”

  Breft said, “We’d file a report with the courts. Matara Hina would have to appear before a judge. She can do so with a licensed therapist of her choosing. Otherwise, a therapist will be appointed if she chooses none. She would agree in a binding contract to undergo therapy until her condition is deemed nonthreatening.”

  “The matter would be in closed court, with no witnesses outside court officials, the psychological expert in charge of her, her clan, and her legal counsel,” Raxstad added. “She could petition to keep the records sealed, unless similar charges were brought at a later date.”

  “She’s legally bound to get the help she needs no matter what?” I was pleased with the option.

  “That’s correct.”

  “She would also be banned from contact with your clan and child,” Breft said. “An attempt to get close to any of you without your permission would result in immediate arrest.”

  “What about running into us from time to time in the market or on the beach?” Heavens, I constantly saw her in those places. She’d never be able to leave the house if there wasn’t some leeway.

  “Accidental occupation of the same public space is waived, but Matara Hina would be required to vacate the immediate area as soon as possible.”

  Seot glanced around at the rest of us before giving his agreement. “Since she appears remorseful and tried to make this right, and as long as she is required to receive assistance, we won’t bring charges against her.”

  Breft nodded. I swear the feral creature almost committed the civilized sin of a smile. “We have the details we need to file our initial report, though we may be in contact for further details in the coming days. We’ll also check in later to verify you won’t press charges, once you’ve had the chance to consider the situation further. For now, we have no further need of your presence. You may go.”

  Before quitting the home, I put a hand on Hina’s shaking shoulder. “I hope you feel better soon, Hina. Take care of her,” I added to the Dramok, who appeared ready to collapse in grief himself.

  “You are not angry?” he asked looking from me to Seot to the officers. His Nobek and Imdiko stared at me in disbelief.

  “Clan Seot has decided to press no formal charges. We’ll explain what that means to your Matara, as there are yet legal ramifications for her actions,” Breft told him.

  Hina’s Dramok and Nobek bowed to us. Her Imdiko continued to hold her, but he nodded at us. “Your kindness is more than we could hope for. We’ll make amends for what has happened somehow.”

  “Give her the love and support she needs,” I said. “She still suffers from the loss of her daughter. What she needs is kindness, not recrimination.”

  There was a lot more to say. I’d come close to losing Anrel before she’d been born, so perhaps I had a small hint of what Hina had gone through. It was heartbreaking to contemplate her loss.

  What could I say to a woman who was trapped in grief, the same woman who had snatched my daughter? I couldn’t begin to answer that, so I left with my clan and my sweet baby. I was grateful the situation had ended well for us, but my thoughts were a confusing riot otherwise.

  We went home. Except for cooing over Anrel, we were mostly silent. I figured the men were perhaps obsessing over what might have gone wrong, how the situation could have ended badly. I contemplated it myself. When I wasn’t ruminating on that, I reflected on Hina’s pain, a pain that had driven her to do the unthinkable.

  Thank the prophets…thank God…that my baby was safe with me again.

  January 14

  I don’t think my clan is doing well. Or maybe we’re being normal after the events of yesterday. How do parents act after someone abducts their child and they get the child back? There is no manual for this. We are grateful and yet we are rattled. Though Hina returned Anrel, we keep congratulating Seot for the tracking device that would have found her only seconds later. Then we all reach and touch the baby to reassure ourselves that she is really here with us.

  We’re relieved, but we’re on edge. The entire clan called out of work today. When I went to therapy, the guys and Anrel went with me. We can’t bear to be out of each other’s sight.

  The story has played on the news vids. No names have been broadcast, but it wouldn’t take Einstein to possibly figure out who the ‘abducted half-Earther child taken by an unidentified Kalquorian woman’ might be. The busker Candy was speaking to when Hina took Anrel gave an interview. He provided a pretty accurate description of my friend. There are only so many female babies living around Kalquor’s capital city. Sure, this is the area where most Earther women have settled, and Anrel’s not the only half-and-half in the area, but it’s a limited pool. Seot fielded a couple of coms today that left him irritable. He didn’t say if they were from reporters or not.

  Candy is beside herself with guilt despite us telling her it wasn’t her fault. Awful stuff occurs in the blink of an eye. I know that from bitter experience. I hope she can get past this soon. I hope we all can. It was bad enough going through it without reliving all the horror over and over again in our imaginations.

  It was fortunate I had therapy this afternoon. Given the circumstances, Dr. Cafir was fine with seeing all of us instead of just me. She reassured us that our collective angst was normal. “This is a matter of profound trauma. It heightens the guilt that you weren’t there when Anrel was taken, that you had the gall to be selfish enough to work on your relationship.”

  Larten surprised me by being the first to acknowledge his feelings on the matter. “I’ve felt sick inside since we got the call that Anrel was kidnapped. I feel like a failure, because I am clan protector. How can I call myself such when the weakest of my family was victimized?”

  “You realize you are not to blame, at least in your head.”

  He scowled. “It is my heart and spirit that scream in shame. They tell me I am of no worth.”

  Cifa and Seot twitched so intensely, they practically danced in their chairs. They suffered as I did, wanting to protest that Larten had nothing to reproach himself for. However, Dr. Cafir has a hard rule against interrupting or negating someone when they discuss how they’re feeling.

  She smiled at him. “Little by little, the pain will dull. Logic will prevail over these emotions, Nobek Larten. You have to exercise patience and muster the strength to process the episode. You cannot let anger win out.”

  She was smart to make it a challenge for Larten. Nobeks thrive on tests to their abilities.

  She advised Seot too. “As the leader of this clan, everyone’s welfare is your priority. The initial instinct is to try to plan for all contingencies in the event it happens again.”

  Seot managed to smile. “You’re going to remind me I can’t be ready for all dangers. That it’s impossible to attempt.”

  “You’ve already made it possible to locate Anrel and Shalia if they go missing. The tracker found the baby quickly, allowing law enforcement to pinpoint her location in a matter of minutes. What more could you possibly do to keep them safe?”

  “Outside of keep them with us at all times? Or lock them away in a fortress surrounded by armed guards?” His eyes twinkled. “Like Larten, it’s hard not to second-guess each move I make.”

  “A reasonable reaction. If the urge continues past the next month, let me know.”

  She moved on to Cifa. He shook his head before she spoke a word, laughing a little. “The Imdiko is wrecked. I can’t stop hugging Anrel. I’m on the verge of sobbing or screaming half the time.”

  Dr. Cafir chuckled. “You are the person I worry least about. As long as an Imdiko isn’t swallowing his feelings and pretending he’s doing fine when he’s not
, he’s usually the clearest-minded of the clan. Keep venting those emotions. Worry only if fear becomes an overriding concern.”

  It was my turn. Dr. Cafir’s face softened as she gazed at me. “I can’t begin to imagine the horror you went through.”

  I choked out a sound that was half-sob, half-laugh. “I’ve never been so terrified in my life, and I’ve had plenty of opportunities to be scared.”

  “And now?”

  “I’m like the rest of them. I wonder what I could have done differently. If I was wrong to not keep Anrel with me. I keep touching her to make certain she’s still here. It’s almost obsessive, the need to check on her.”

  “Again, perfectly understandable for the moment. Similar to the men of your clan, I’d only worry if it continues past a reasonable period.” She glanced around at us, bestowing her gentle smile that insisted everything would be okay. “Give yourselves a few days to process this. It’s all you can do. What else do you wish to share?”