Once on a Time

by A. A. Milne

  CHAPTER XIV

  "WHY CAN'T YOU BE LIKE WIGGS?"

  Hyacinth was with Udo in the library. Udo spent much of his time inthe library nowadays; for surely in one of those many books was to befound some Advice to a Gentleman in Temporary Difficulties suitable toa case like his. Hyacinth kept him company sadly. It had been such abrilliant idea inviting him to Euralia; how she wished now that shehad never done it.

  "Well, Wiggs," she said, with a gentle smile, "what have you beendoing with yourself all the morning?"

  Udo looked up from his mat and nodded to her.

  "I've found out," said Wiggs excitedly; "it was the _Countess_ who didit."

  Udo surveyed her with amazement.

  "The Princess Hyacinth," he said, "has golden hair. One discoversthese things gradually." And he returned to his book.

  Wiggs looked bewildered.

  "He means, dear," said Hyacinth, "that it is quite obvious that theCountess did it, and we have known about it for days."

  Udo wore, as far as his face would permit, the slightly puffyexpression of one who has just said something profoundly ironical andis feeling self-conscious about it.

  "Oh--h," said Wiggs in such a disappointed voice that it seemed as ifshe were going to cry.

  Hyacinth, like the dear that she was, made haste to comfort her.

  "We didn't really _know_," she said; "we only guessed it. But nowthat you have found out, I shall be able to punish her properly. No,don't come with me," she said, as she rose and moved towards the door;"stay here and help his Royal Highness. Perhaps you can find the bookthat he wants; you've read more of them than I have, I expect."

  Left alone with the Prince, Wiggs was silent for a little, looking athim rather anxiously.

  "Do you know _all_ about the Countess?" she asked at last.

  "If there's anything I don't know, it must be _very_ bad."

  "Then you know that it's all my fault that you are like this? Oh,dear Prince Udo, I am so dreadfully sorry."

  "What do you mean--_your_ fault?"

  "Because it was my ring that did it."

  Udo scratched his head in a slightly puzzled but quite a nice way.

  "Tell me all about it from the beginning," he said. "You have foundout something after all, I believe."

  So Wiggs told her story from the beginning. How the fairy had givenher a ring; how the Countess had taken it from her for five minutesand had a bad wish on it; and how Wiggs had found her out that verymorning.

  Udo was intensely excited by the story. He trotted up and down thelibrary, muttering to himself. He stopped in front of Wiggs as soonas she had finished.

  "Is the ring still going?" he asked. "I mean, can you have anotherwish on it?"

  "Yes, just one."

  "Then wish her to be turned into a----" He tried to think ofsomething that would meet the case. "What about a spider?" he saidthoughtfully.

  "But that's a _bad_ wish," said Wiggs.

  "Yes, but it's _her_ turn."

  "Oh, but I'm only allowed a good wish now." She added rapturously,"And I know what it's going to be."

  So did Udo. At least he thought he did.

  "Oh, you dear," he said, casting an affectionate look on her.

  "Yes, that's it. That I might be able to dance like a fairy."

  Udo could hardly believe his ears, and they were adequate enough formost emergencies.

  "But how is that going to help _me?_" he said, tapping his chest withhis paw.

  "But it's _my_ ring," said Wiggs. "And so of course I'm going to wishthat I can dance like a fairy. I've always meant to, as soon as I'vebeen good for a day first."

  The child was absurdly selfish. Udo saw that he would have to appealto her in another way.

  "Of course," he began, "I've nothing to say against dancing _as_dancing, but I think you'll get tired of it. Just as I shall gettired of--lettuce."

  Wiggs understood now.

  "You mean that I might wish you to be a Prince again?"

  "Well," said Udo casually, "it just occurred to me as an example ofwhat might be called the Good Wish."

  "Then I shall never be able to dance like a fairy?"

  "Neither shall I, if it comes to that," said Udo. Really, the childwas very stupid.

  "Oh, it's too cruel," said Wiggs, stamping her foot. "I did so wantto be able to dance."

  Udo glanced gloomily into the future.

  "To live for ever behind wire netting," he mused; "to be eternallyfrightened by pink-eyed ferrets; to be offeredbran-mash--bran-mash--bran-mash wherever one visited week after week,month after month, year after year, century after--how long _do_rabbits live?"

  But Wiggs was not to be moved.

  "I _won't_ give up my wish," she said passionately.

  Udo got on to his four legs with dignity.

  "Keep your wish," he said. "There are plenty of other ways of gettingout of enchantments. I'll learn up a piece of poetry by our CourtPoet Sacharino, and recite it backwards when the moon is new.Something like that. I can do this quite easily by myself. Keep yourwish."

  He went slowly out. His tail (looking more like a bell-rope thanever) followed him solemnly. The fluffy part that you pull was for amoment left behind; then with a jerk it was gone, and Wiggs was leftalone.

  "I won't give up my wish," cried Wiggs again. "I'll wish it nowbefore I'm sorry." She held the ring up. "I wish that----" Shestopped suddenly. "Poor Prince Udo he seems very unhappy. I wonderif it _is_ a good wish to wish to dance when people are unhappy." Shethought this out for a little, and then made her great resolve."Yes," she said, "I'll wish him well again."

  Once more she held the ring up in her two hands.

  "I wish," she said, "that Prince Udo----"

  I know what you're going to say. It was no good her wishing her goodwish, because she had been a bad girl the day before--making theCountess an apple-pie bed and all--disgraceful! How could shepossibly suppose----

  She didn't. She remembered just in time.

  "Oh, bother," said Wiggs, standing in the middle of the room with thering held above her head. "I've got to be good for a day first._Bother!_"

  * * * * *

  So the next day was Wiggs's Good Day. The legend of it was handeddown for years afterwards in Euralia. It got into all theCalendars--July 20th it was--marked with a red star; in Roger'sportentous volumes it had a chapter devoted to it. There was sometalk about it being made into a public holiday, he tells us, but thisfell through. Euralian mothers used to scold their naughty childrenwith the words, "Why can't you be like Wiggs?" and the children usedto tell each other that there never was a real Wiggs, and that it wasonly a made-up story for parents. However, you have my word for itthat it was true.

  She began by getting up at five o'clock in the morning, and afterdressing herself very neatly (and being particularly careful to wringout her sponge) she made her own bed and tidied up the room. For amoment she thought of waking the grown-ups in the Palace and lettingthem enjoy the beautiful morning too, but a little reflection showedher that this would not be at all a kindly act; so, having dusted theThrone Room and performed a few simple physical exercises, she wentoutside and attended to the smaller domestic animals.

  _When anybody of superior station or age came into theroom she rose and curtsied_]

  At breakfast she had three helps of something very nutritious, whichthe Countess said would make her grow, but only one help of everythingelse. She sat up nicely all the time, and never pointed to anythingor drank with her mouth full. After breakfast she scattered somecrumbs on the lawn for the robins, and then got to work again.

  First she dusted and dusted and dusted; then she swept and swept andswept; then she sewed and sewed and sewed. When anybody of superiorstation or age came into the room she rose and curtsied and stood withher hands behind her back, while she was being spoken to. Whenanybody said, "I wonder where I put my so-and-so," she jumped up andsaid, "Let _me_ fetch it," even if it was
upstairs.

  After dinner she made up a basket of provisions and took them to theold women who lived near the castle; to some of them she sang or readaloud, and when at one cottage she was asked, "Now won't you give me alittle dance," she smiled bravely and said, "I'm afraid I don't dancevery well." I think that was rather sweet of her; if I had been thefairy I should have let her off the rest of the day.

  When she got back to the Palace she drank two glasses of warm milk,with the skin on, and then went and weeded the Countess's lawn; andonce when she trod by accident on a bed of flowers, she left thefootprint there instead of scraping it over hastily, and pretendingthat she hadn't been near the place, as you would have done.

  And at half-past six she kissed everybody good-night (including Udo)and went to bed.

  So ended July the Twentieth, perhaps the most memorable day inEuralian history.

  * * * * *

  Udo and Hyacinth spent the great day peacefully in the library. Agentleman for all his fur, Udo had not told the Princess about Wiggs'srefusal to help him. Besides, a man has his dignity. To be turnedinto a mixture of three animals by a woman of thirty, and to be turnedback again by a girl of ten, is to be too much the plaything of thesex. It was time he did something for himself.

  "Now then, how did that bit of Sacharino's go? Let me see." He beattime with a paw. "'Blood for something, something, some----'Something like that. 'Blood for--er--blood for--er----' No, it'sgone again. I know there was a bit of blood in it."

  "I'm sure you'll get it soon," said Hyacinth. "It sounds as thoughtit's going to be just the sort of thing that's wanted."

  "Oh, I shall get it all right. Some of the words have escaped me forthe moment, that's all. 'Blood--er--blood.' You must have heard ofit, Princess: it's about blood for he who something; you must know theone I mean.

  "I know I've heard of it," said the Princess, wrinkling her forehead,"only I can't quite think of it for the moment. It's about a--a----"

  "Yes, that's it," said Udo.

  Then they both looked up at the ceiling with their heads on one sideand murmured to themselves.

  But noon came and still they hadn't thought of it.

  After a simple meal they returned to the library.

  "I think I'd better write to Coronel," said Udo, "and ask him aboutit."

  "I thought you said his name was Sacharino."

  "Oh, this is not the poet, it's just a friend of mine, but he's rathergood at this sort of thing. The trouble is that it takes such a longtime for a letter to get there and back."

  At the word "letter," Hyacinth started suddenly.

  "Oh, Prince Udo," she cried, "I can never forgive myself. I've justremembered the very thing. Father told me in his letter that a littlecouplet he once wrote was being very useful for--er--removing things."

  "What sort of things?" said Udo, not too hopefully.

  "Oh, enchantments and things."

  Udo was a little annoyed at the "and things"--as those turning himback into a Prince again was as much in the day's work as removingrust from a helmet.

  "It goes like this," said Hyacinth.

  "_Bo, boll, bill, bole._ _Wo, woll, will, wole._"

  "It sounds as though it would remove _anything_," she added, with asmile.

  Udo sat up rather eagerly.

  "I'll try," he said. "Is there any particular action that goes withit?"

  "I've never heard of any. I expect you ought to say it as if youmeant it."

  Udo sat up on his back paws, and, gesticulating freely with his rightpaw, declaimed:

  "_Bo, boll, bill, bole._ _Wo, woll, will, wole._"

  He fixed his eyes on his paws, waiting for the transformation.

  He waited.

  And waited.

  Nothing happened.

  "It must be all right," said Hyacinth anxiously, "because I'm sureFather would know. Try saying it more like this."

  She repeated the lines in a voice so melting, yet withal so dignified,that the very chairs might have been expected to get up and walk out.

  Udo imitated her as well as he could.

  At about the time when Wiggs was just falling asleep, he repeated itin his fiftieth different voice.

  "I'm sorry," said Hyacinth; "perhaps it isn't so good as Fatherthought it was."

  "There's just one chance," said Udo. "It's possible it may have to besaid on an empty stomach. I'll try it to-morrow before breakfast."

  Upstairs Wiggs was dreaming of the dancing that she had given up forever.

  And what Belvane was doing I really don't know.