Every Tear You Cry (Redeeming Love Book 4)

by J. E. Parker

  His eyes blazed with an emotion I couldn’t place.

  I can’t read this man worth a dang, I thought.

  “Why here?” Brantley asked a second later, his tone clipped. “Out of all the places in Kissler and Toluca County, why this apartment complex?”

  I stood straight, trying my best to hide the torrid emotions that were eating away at me. “It’s the only place I can afford.”

  He gave me no chance to explain further. “What do you mean?”

  I swallowed around the lump lodged in my throat. “Exactly what I said. I’m broke, Brantley.” Saying those words hurt. A lot. “My hours at work got cut and I haven’t been able to find another job. I’ve kept our heads above water for the last few months, but now we’re sinking. If Evan hadn’t paid my rent this month the boys and I would be homeless.”

  I didn’t stop to think about why I was telling him my problems or how easily they rolled off my tongue. Despite his domineering presence, talking to Brantley was easy. Oddly enough.

  Silence surrounded us.

  Moments passed.

  Then, “You’ve been looking for a new job?”

  I nodded. “I started out searching for a part-time gig so I could stay on at the shelter, but after not finding anything I started looking at full-time positions. I’ve come up empty handed at every turn.” I ran my hands through my hair in frustration. “Now I’m stuck. I don’t know what to do. We can’t keep living like this.”

  “What kind of work are you looking for?” He asked, sliding his hands into his pockets. “What are your skills?”

  I suddenly felt like I was in the midst of a job interview.

  “Any kind of work,” I replied, looking down at my feet. “As long as it keeps a roof over my head and food in my boy’s bellies, I’ll do anything. Though, I prefer a job that doesn’t require me to climb a stripper pole. I’m not very athletic and well…” A humorless chuckle spilled from my lips. “As far as skill set goes—I didn’t go to college, but I’ve done most of the admin stuff at the shelter while Maddie is out on maternity leave. I’m really good at it.”

  Brantley smiled, and I didn’t understand why.

  “What if I told you I had a job for you?”

  I quirked a brow. “I’d say that you needed to start talking.”

  “How much do you know about my job?”

  Uhh… “I know you’re a defense attorney but that’s it.”

  “You’re right, I am. But what you don’t know is that I’m opening my own firm in downtown Toluca. I’ve already leased an office in the brick building right across from the courthouse.”

  My mouth fell open. “How did I not know that?”

  “Nobody but Evan and Hope know.”

  “Yeah,” I replied, placing my hands on my hips, “but if Hope knows that means I should know. It seems my little Muffin has been holding out on me.”

  Brantley smiled before rubbing his palm across his stubble covered jaw. “I need an Office Manager, Clara.” I froze. “You wouldn’t have to do a lot. Just answer the phones, greet clients, keep my schedule, and do basic administrative stuff.”

  My mind, along with my heart, raced.

  Could I spend all day with Brantley?

  “Your schedule would be flexible, so you could stay on at the Shelter. I’ll work with you on that.” His words made my belly flip. “Benefits are excellent too. I’ll make sure you and the boys are covered under the same insurance I have for Bella and I.”

  I needed no more convincing. “How much are you willing to pay me?” He chuckled. “Don’t laugh at me, Brantley Morgan,” I teased. “I know looking at you all day is payment in itself, but I need cash too.”

  That damn smirk appeared again. “How does twenty an hour sound?”

  My mind nearly exploded.

  Twenty an hour was more than I’d ever dreamed of making and considering the cost of living in Kissler and Toluca Counties that amount would ensure the boys and I lived above the poverty line. We wouldn’t be rolling in dough, but at least I wouldn’t have to worry about paying the rent.

  Speaking of rent… We were so moving.

  “What would my hours be? I’ll have to figure out childcare for the boys.”

  “What time do they go to school?”

  “I drop them off at 7:45 and pick them up at 3:15.”

  He nodded, mulling something over. “How about this? What if I pay you to become my nanny in addition to my assistant?”

  My mouth fell open. “Uh, what?”

  “Bella starts pre-k at Toluca Prep next week. She gets out at the same time as the boys and I’ll need someone to watch her until I get home. No pressure but if you want to do both—”

  “I’m in,” I interrupted, not needing to think about it any further.

  Getting paid to spend time with Bella while not having to worry about childcare for the boys? That was an easy decision. Not to mention, neither job took away my ability to work at the Shelter on the weekends.

  That was important to me.

  Like, really important.

  “When do I start?”

  Brantley smiled so big it reached his eyes. “Next Monday okay with you, bella dama?”

  I nodded. “I’ll start tomorrow if you want—”

  Knock! Knock! Knock!

  I snapped my mouth shut when someone banged their little fists against my closed bedroom door. “Mama!” Declan shouted. “We’re starvinggg. Can we go get breakfast now? Liam is grumpy ’cause he’s hungry. He’s acting like he sat on a wasp or something.”

  Brantley dropped his head back against the door and laughed. Hard.

  “We’re coming,” I replied around laughter. I walked to the door and wrapped my hand around the handle. “Move it, Pretty Boy. I need to get the kids ready to go before they eat the furniture.”

  Brantley moved to the side. “Feisty, I like it.”

  “Good,” I replied. “Considering you’re about to be stuck with me almost every day.”

  He smiled. “You won’t hear me complaining anytime soon.”

  I winked at him as I opened the door and came to face-to-face with three little munchkins. “Are you guys ready to go get breakfast?”

  Declan and Liam both nodded but Bella looked at me suspiciously. “What were you and Daddy doing?”

  I had to force myself not to jump up and down in excitement. Looking over my shoulder at Brantley, I asked, “Can I tell her?” When he nodded, I wasted no time in swinging my gaze back to Bella. “Well, princess, your daddy and I were just discussing something important. And that something important? It involves you.”

  Her eyes widened. “What is it?” She sounded as excited as I felt.

  I kneeled, bringing us eye level with one another. “How would you feel about spending time with the boys and me every day?”

  “I want to do that!”

  “Good”—I cupped her little cheeks—“because I’m your new nanny.”

  Confusion crossed her face. “What’s a ninny?”

  Behind me, Brantley chuckled. “It’s pronounced nanny, princesa, and it’s the same thing as a babysitter. It means you’ll be spending every afternoon with Clara and the boys until I get home from work.”

  I could only describe the squeal that ripped from Bella’s throat as glass shattering. She threw her arms around my neck and I wound mine around her back. “You’re gonna be the bestest ninny ever!”

  Ninny, nanny, I didn’t care what she called me as long as she was happy.

  Tears of happiness filled my eyes. “I don’t know about that, sweet girl, but I’ll try my best.”

  Brantley cleared his throat from behind me. “Most restaurants will stop serving breakfast in less than an hour. We need to get a move on.”

  I kissed Bella’s cheek before dropping my arms. Standing, I looked down at all three kids. “Alright, here’s the deal. Whoever gets their teeth brushed and their clothes put on first gets a piece of candy. I’m starving and—”

  I did
n’t get to finish my sentence before all three turned and bolted into the bathroom.

  The sound of bickering and running water reached my ears seconds later, making me smile.

  I turned, facing Brantley. “Thank you,” I whispered, my heart full. “I doubt I’ll ever be able to repay you for this, but I promise I’ll do the best I can at the office and with Bella. You won’t regret it.”

  Brantley ran a knuckle down the side of my face. “Seeing the look on you and Bella’s faces is all the thanks I’ll ever need, Firecracker.” His face dipped closer to mine and I could’ve sworn he was about to kiss me. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, and I have enough regrets to last me a lifetime, but hiring you? This is one of the best things I’ve ever done.”

  His lips touched mine.

  Softly. Gently. Sweetly.

  My eyes slid closed.

  My heart beat double-time.

  Brantley pulled his lips from mine. “Clara,” he whispered, “Go get dressed, baby.”

  Eyes still closed, I nodded. “You’ll wait for me, right?” My voice was shaky and full of desperation. “Until I’m ready?”

  “Always,” he replied, kissing my cheek. “Nothing can keep me away.”

  With a nod, I opened my eyes, and stepped past him into my room.

  My final thought before shutting the door? I’m starting to fall.

  Clara

  I was sitting on Brantley’s living room floor.

  All three kids slept next to me on a pallet I’d made with a dozen blankets and throw pillows. Shelby sat across from me, her legs criss-cross indian style. Between us was an empty bottle of wine, two plastic flute glasses, and various Chinese takeout cartons.

  Running my fingers through my hair, I looked around the room at the various moving boxes, some of them empty, most of them half-filled and cringed. “We still have a long way to go but at least we got the kitchen and bathrooms unpacked.”

  Brantley, the kids and I were in the middle of breakfast when the movers called. After being told they were only thirty minutes away, we hopped in his SUV and rushed back to his house, hoping to beat the truck.

  We didn’t.

  When we got here, the truck was already parked next to curb, idling away. The three-man crew had seemed eager to get stuff done in the beginning, but I swear they moved slower than molasses.

  It had taken eight hours for them to unload everything.

  Eight. Dang. Hours.

  Shelby, bless her heart, helped me unpack boxes while Brantley and Pop put the beds together and moved furniture around upstairs. We would’ve had more help, but Evan, Anthony, Felix, and Keith all had to work, Grandmama was playing Bingo at the senior center, and Hendrix was at the apartment with Maddie waiting for her to go into labor.

  “Ashley and I can come over and help you more tomorrow,” Shelby replied, taking a bite of Lo Mein. “I don’t have to work so we’ll be home all day.”

  Hearing Ashley’s name made me smile.

  “How is my favorite teenager doing? I didn’t get to talk to her at Grandmama’s yesterday, but she looked mighty happy.”

  Shelby smiled so bright it was blinding. “She is happy,” she replied softly. “And she’s doing amazing if I say so myself. She is about to get her license, and Anthony’s already talked to Evan about buying Hope’s Civic. She never drives it anymore since Ev bought her the Camry.” She paused, seeming to think something over in her head. “I know a lot of people say we’re spoiling her by getting her all this stuff”—she rolled her eyes—“but after the life she lived before we adopted her, I feel like she deserves it, ya know? I mean, I know she doesn’t need a car, but dang it, I want her to have one.”

  I nodded in understanding. “I get it. Trust me. Besides, there is nothing wrong with spoiling her. She’s your kid. To hell with what other people say.”

  Shelby’s eyes twinkled. “You’re right,” she replied. “She is my kid.”

  A second later, a solemn expression crossed her face, making it clear as day that something was bothering her. “Shelby,” I said, climbing to my knees. “What’s wrong?”

  She closed her eyes and rested her hand against her belly. “You know I love Ashley and Lucca more than anything in this world.” I did know that. Beyond a shadow of a doubt. “But it’s been over a year and I’m still not…” Her voice trailed off as her eyes filled with tears. Setting down the carton she held in her hand, she rested a single hand against her belly. “… I’m still not pregnant.”

  “Shelby, honey—”

  “We went to see a specialist two months ago,” she interrupted. “He did all these tests on us, but he couldn’t find a reason for my inability to conceive… Unexplained infertility is what he called it.”

  My heart hurt for her.

  Seriously, it hurt.

  Without saying a single word, I closed the space between us, knocking over food cartons in the process and wrapped my arms around her. I pulled her into me, pressing her head against my shoulder as the first sob racked her body. “It’s okay, Blondie,” I said, rocking her back and forth like she had done me many times in the past. “It’ll all work out.”

  My words sounded horrible to my own ears, but I didn’t have a clue what to say. I knew Shelby wanted to give Anthony a child of his own, but the truth was, she’d already given him two. Ashley and Lucca may not have been biologically his, but anybody with eyes could see that Anthony Moretti loved those kids more than words could ever describe.

  Taking a couple deep breaths, she tried her best to calm down. “We’ve talked about a-adoption and I think that’s where we’re headed n-next. I’ve already called Ashley’s caseworker and talked to her about it. Since Anthony and me are already licensed f-fosters the process should be simple. Now we just have to w-wait.”

  Tears sprang to my eyes.

  Shelby may not have understood how much the words she’d just spoken meant, but to me, they meant the world. As a former foster kid who’d prayed for years to be adopted, hearing that she and Anthony were going to rescue a kid from the system warmed my heart in ways that nothing else could.

  “Thank you, Shelby,” I whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

  Sucking in breath after breath, she leaned back and wiped the tears from her eyes with the backs of her hands. “For what?”

  “For giving one of those kids a chance.” My tears fell, but I smiled through them. “You and Tony will make one lucky kid very happy.”

  Shelby’s chin wobbled. “Dammit, Clara,” she hiccuped and pointed to her face. “Look at what you did. As if I’m not crying enough already you just had to say that.” Fanning her face, she blew out breath after breath. “I wore mascara today, you jackass. I don’t even have to look in the mirror to know I look like a trash panda. I swear I ought to tell Brantley to spank your ass.”

  The idea of Brantley spanking me should’ve evoked a negative reaction in my head.

  It didn’t.

  Huh.

  A small smile played on my lips at the realization.

  “What?” Shelby asked, climbing to her knees. Every trace of distress disappeared from her face. “I can tell by the shit-eating grin on your face that you’re not telling me something. Spill it, Clara”—she silently clapped her hands together twice—“chop, chop.”

  Flat out refusing to explain the racy images my mind was conjuring up, I spilled the beans about something else. “I got a new job,” I replied, unable to keep the news to myself any longer. “It pays good money and has good benefits. Plus, I get to stay on part-time at the Shelter. I’ll just have to work weekends only from now on.”

  Shelby’s eyes widened. “Oh my God,” she whisper-hissed. “I was hoping like hell you wouldn’t have to quit working with us. So”—she tapped my knee—“where’s the new job?”

  “Uh,” I said, chuckling. “Did you know Brantley was opening his own practice in Toluca?”

  Shelby shook her head. “No.”

  “Well, he is, a
nd he sort of hired me as his Office Manager… as well as Bella’s nanny.”

  Shelby spit out the sweet tea she’d just taken a sip of. “You’ve gotta be shitting me.”

  I shook my head. “I’m not.”

  Eyes closed, she smacked her hands on her thighs like a doofus. I was excited as could be, but Shelby looked like she was ready to jump up and down. “I knew it,” she said. “I frickin’ knew it!”

  “You knew what?”

  Her eyes popped back open. “That Brantley Morgan is in love with you. Like, ass over elbows in love with you.”

  I waved a dismissive hand in her direction. “You’re as crazy as Grandmama, which is fitting since you’re her protégé and all.”

  “Ha!” Shelby smacked my hand. “I may be crazier than an outhouse rat but that’s beside the point. I called it when y’all first met. The way he looked at you… girl”—she laughed—“it was something else.”

  “How did he look at me?” I asked before I could stop myself.

  “Do you really want me to answer that?” I nodded. “Okay, I’ll tell you. That man”—she pointed toward the ceiling where we could hear Pop and Brantley moving around above us—“looked at you like he’d just found his forever.”

  Too stunned to speak, I blinked.

  “Never mind,” I replied seconds later. “You’re not as crazy as Grandmama. You have surpassed her by a country mile. You’re nuttier than a fruitcake, Shelby Moretti. I swear we need to get you evaluated.”

  “Whatever,” she huffed, flicking her golden blonde hair back over her shoulder. “But I’m calling it now. I see a wedding, more babies, and lots of hot office sex in your future.”

  I peeked at the kids to make sure they’d slept through Shelby’s outburst.

  They had.

  “Yeah, sure, Shelby,” I said sarcastically as I climbed to my feet and turned my back to the stairs. “Sweaty office sex is at the top of my agenda. I mean, why wouldn’t it be? The idea is hot, right?”

  Shelby’s eyes widened, but my stupid self didn’t realize why until it was too late.