Be Still, My Love

by Deborah J. Hughes

  I tumbled forward, just missing the old tree stump, and landed hard on the ground. Shocked, I lay gasping for breath and felt the earth shake beneath me. Before I could react, the ground opened up and I went tumbling down into darkness. It all happened so fast I had no time to struggle. All I could do was close my eyes and hold my breath against the dirt rushing past me and pray for my end to be quick. It was a terrifying moment and though it seemed to take minutes, was actually over in seconds.

  Cautiously, I opened my eyes and glanced up. I had fallen through a narrow hole down into a small cavern of some sort; I was guessing about eight feet down. I now lay on what felt like a rock ledge nearly buried in dirt. It was very damp and muddy and I remembered Modesta talking about all the rain they’d had previous to my arrival. The rain must have made the area unstable with erosion. Behind me a narrow tunnel snaked into blackness. No way was I going to check it out. Another fear raced through me that I could have fallen into an animal hole of some sort and was now laying in its den. However, a quick sniff of the air didn’t discern any lingering animal smells. I pulled myself free of the dirt and looked up through the hole toward the sky above. My optimism wasn’t high that I was going to be able to crawl out of this mess. The ground was too loose and muddy. But, I couldn’t just lay here and do nothing. Cold musty air emanated from the dark tunnel and I knew, just knew, that should I follow it, I would end up at Sea Willow’s main house. Though I was curious about it and wanted nothing more than to prove my suspicion, there was no way I was going to crawl blind through a dark tunnel. Shivering at the cold, I decided there was nothing for it but to try to get myself out of here.

  I only managed to make it a couple feet up when the dirt crumbled against my weight and I slid back down to the bottom. My fingernails, now broken and filled with dirt, began to protest at their rough treatment and my fingers stung with scrapes and cuts from the sharp rocks and protruding roots. For a moment I rested, closed my eyes and thought. No one knew where I was! No one would know where to even begin looking for me. I allowed only a few moments of despair and then resolved to try harder to rescue myself.

  Slowly, carefully, I again began to climb, this time making it about half way up before the earth shook, gave way and sent me sliding back to the bottom. Frustrated, frightened, I lay my head down into the dirt and allowed the thought to crystallize that I wasn’t going to get out of this hole on my own. There was only one thing to do, summon some help.

  Calming myself so I could properly focus, I pictured Kade in my mind. I believed it possible to make contact with others through psychic communication, but only with concentrated focus and strong intentions. Although I could focus quite well when the occasion warranted it, the unknown part of this experiment was Kade. Just how receptive would he be? I pictured the area where I had fallen and sent a mental picture to Kade. If he picked up my mental message, it was my hope that he would make his way here and find me.

  Satisfied that I’d done the best I could to make contact with Kade, I lay back and relaxed, sending out a prayer that he got the message. But as the time stretched past an hour, I started to lose faith. Even if Kade had received my message, would he act on it? What about Sheila? Would she help? Could she … if I asked? And when did I start believing she was still here for me? I lay my head against the compact dirt and closed my eyes. If I was going to contact Sheila again then I needed to be calm and at peace. That meant overcoming my panic and fear. Taking slow breaths, I began to relax. I was not in any immediate danger, so there was no need for me to panic. I had to trust that help would come. I had to believe it without any doubt. Indeed, I had to know it. And that is when the conviction that Kade would come began to take hold in my thoughts. Calming even more, I thought of Sheila and invited her to communicate with me.

  The energy in the cold pit increased to a high-pitched hum though it really wasn’t a hum one could hear so much as feel. As the vibration of energy continued to increase, the air felt less cold and my shivering subsided. The mind is more powerful than what any of us can imagine … and I could imagine quite a bit. One of the hardest obstacles to overcome is in garnering belief in ourselves and our capabilities. Our biggest enemy is doubt and the only other thing that could defeat us is fear. Fear I could conquer, it was my doubt I had to really struggle with. When Mike and Tootsie died, I doubted Sheila’s existence. I doubted that angelic forces were truly here to help us. Now, as I lay about eight feet below ground in a narrow hole no one knew about, I had to face my doubts and decide once and for all what it was I truly believed.

  The cobweb feeling tickled my chin and nose. I smiled with relief as I felt Sheila’s gentle presence fill my mind. We didn’t communicate with each other through words. Communication with Sheila was done through feelings. I likened the experience to a mingling of our souls. Somehow, I always understood this communication on such a scale that entire conversations could happen in seconds. It was voicing these communications into words that was challenging. Explaining such experiences was difficult for there was nothing to compare it to. People would ask me, “What is she saying?” How to explain a communication that occurred without words? It was like trying to translate an old language for which there was no meaning in our current vocabulary.

  When getting messages from those in the Tri-State, however, the communication was usually clear and did not require interpretation. It wasn’t the Tri-State I needed to contact right now. No, I needed help on a different scale. I needed angelic assistance. I wanted Sheila’s help.

  It wasn’t long before a warmth from within began to spread through me and I knew she was with me. I couldn’t help but smile. It had been a long time after all. The experience was quite emotional and I cried softly as our souls mingled. I conveyed my sorrow over the past two years, my anger, and my forgiveness. All accomplished without words. I asked Sheila for help, that she send someone to rescue me and then withdrew from the communication. The vibration in the cavern, which was now quite dark, lowered to normal and once again I became aware of the damp cold. I curled into a ball to preserve some of my own heat and concentrated on surrounding myself in warmth. Help would come. That I now believed.

  Another hour passed before I heard a voice calling my name. Kade was coming this way. “Kade! Kade, I’m down here!” There was a pause in his calls and I knew he was listening for me. “Kade! I fell in a hole … be careful. Kade? Can you hear me?”

  “Tess? Keep calling me. I can hear you.”

  I continued calling his name until his voice sounded above me. “Tess? My God, are you alright?”

  I looked up at his concerned face as he peered down at me and laughed with gratitude and relief. “Yes, I’m fine. The ground keeps giving way. You’ll need a rope.”

  “Are you hurt?”

  “No. Just cold.” Now that I was no longer focused on keeping warm, the cold was becoming unbearable. Uncontrollable shivering was making my teeth chatter and I wondered if I would be strong enough to pull myself out once a rope was tossed down.

  “I’ll be right back, Tess. I’m going after a rope and some help. Okay?”

  Now I was found, there was nothing to fear. I could deal with the cold a little longer. “Yes, I’m okay, but hurry, Kade, please.”

  “I’ll be back as quickly as I can.”

  I again curled into a ball and concentrated on keeping warm but I wasn’t quite so successful with such thoughts this time because I was impatient for Kade to come back. I’d had enough of this hole. It was only about ten minutes before I heard voices again. Kade leaned over the opening above me, a rope tied around his waist.

  “Tess, I’m going to come down and help you up.”

  “You needn’t do that, Kade. Just toss down a rope.” But he must have heard the shiver in my voice.

  “I’m coming down.” He turned and looked behind him. “Okay, Jack. Keep the rope taut.” He started down the narrow hole, head first. A headlamp lighted the way and I slid further into the cavern to give him some room
when he finally reached me.

  The small cavern wasn’t big enough for both of us to do much maneuvering. He landed at the bottom and crouched there as he reached out and grabbed my outstretched hands. “Tess, thank God!” As his fingers gently squeezed mine, I couldn’t seem to stop the flow of tears. I felt overwhelmed with emotion in that moment and wanted nothing more than to hold his hands and never let go. It was such a relief to have him there with me. To not be alone any more.

  “Are you hurt at all, Tess?”

  His warm hands made my coldness all the more apparent. “Just … c ... cold.”

  “We’ve been searching for you, Tess. Nancy and Jack are quite upset. I tried calling you …”

  “Kade? Kade, do you have her?” Jack’s voice sounded above us and was joined with Nancy’s.

  “Is Tess okay?”

  “I have her. Tess is fine. Give us a moment. When I tug on the rope, start pulling us up.” Kade pushed my hair back from my face. “You sure you aren’t hurt?”

  “My fingers are sore from trying to crawl up out of here and I’ve scraped my legs a bit from the slides down, but I’m okay.”

  “We need to get out of here. I want you to come up next to me and wrap your arms around my waist. I’ll tighten the rope around both of us and we’ll go up together. Okay?”

  I slid up his body until we were chest to chest and enjoyed his warmth as he wrapped the rope around us. His head bent to mine and I felt his warm breath on my cheek. “Ready?” I nodded, my chin resting on his chest and tightened my grip.

  “Okay, Jack, nice and slow. Pull us up.”

  As we began the slide upwards, I kept my eyes closed and focused on getting to the top. We only got about halfway when the ground around us began to tremble. I could feel the earth giving way and pressed my face to Kade’s chest. “Kade, Kade I think it’s caving in!”

  “Jack, let go of the rope … let go now!” Kade yanked at the rope when it went slack and both of us went sliding down. More dirt followed and I knew the precarious hole to freedom was indeed caving in. When we landed back in the small cavern, I just managed to yank the rope off and crawl toward the tunnel I’d been determined to stay out of earlier. A low rumble told me we didn’t have any time to waste. “It’s going to cave in. There’s a tunnel, follow me.”

  “Go then. Hurry!” Terrified to be crawling into pitch blackness, I scrambled forward as fast as I could manage with Kade close behind me. Behind us we heard cries of alarm and the roaring of dirt as it rushed into the hole and filled the cavern behind us. Then everything went still and quiet.

  The tunnel was barely big enough for us to crawl on our hands and knees and seemed to go on forever. Kade’s headlamp offered little light for me since he was behind me. I stopped and turned my head. “Since I’m in front, maybe you should let me have that light.” Kade pulled it off his head and handed it to me. I slipped it on, tightened the straps and then looked ahead of me with less trepidation. It was so nice to be able to see, not that I could see much. The tunnel stretched on into blackness. “I hope there is an opening at the end of this.”

  “Me too.” Our voices sounded without echo in the quietness of the tunnel. The earthen walls seemed to consist of mostly compact clay so the danger of it caving in no longer concerned us. A slight flow of cold air told us that there had to be an opening somewhere ahead. But where would it come out and how much further did we have to go?

  “I’m sorry I got you into this, Kade, but I’m awful glad you’re here with me.” I paused a moment to rest and twisted around to look at him. “You aren’t claustrophobic or anything are you?”

  Kade gave a wry grin. “Well, if I was, there’s no hope for it. We are committed at this point. There’s no going back.” He glanced behind him, shook his head. “Jesus. Nancy and Jack are probably going crazy. They have no idea this tunnel is here so they’ll think we were buried alive. Let me get my phone.” Kade pulled his phone from his pocket only to discover there was no signal. "Damn, that's no help."

  “Then we best hurry and get to the end of this and let them know we aren’t dead.” I began to move again.

  “Where do you think this leads?” Kade asked.

  “Depending on the direction we are going, either the house or the shoreline.”

  “Why do you think it could lead to the house?”

  “Just a guess.” My breathing was becoming labored as was Kade’s and we had to stop talking. It took too much effort to breathe and move. We crawled for another five minutes, though it seemed much more than that, before I again stopped to rest, laying my head down on my arms. It was cool in the tunnel but the excursion of crawling was helping my body stay heated.

  “You okay?” Kade’s heavy breathing sounded loud in the tunnel. The air quality was not great.

  “Yeah, just tired.” I thought about Kade’s healing injuries and twisted around to look at him. “How is your leg?”

  “Killing me at this point but I’ll make it.” He saw my worry and gave me a reassuring smile. “I’ve been in worse fixes than this, Tess. I’m a former Marine … remember? Tough as nails.”

  “Yeah, well, even nails bend and break.” Guilt for getting him into this situation made my chest ache. “I’m so sorry about this.”

  “So, you knew about this tunnel and fell into it on purpose?”

  “No, of course not.” I had to smile at his comment.

  “Then why are you apologizing?”

  “I just feel bad that you are down in this stupid tunnel because of me.”

  Kade patted my leg. “Please don’t think of this as your fault. Christ, Tess, it was an accident.” He paused for a moment then said quietly, “You don’t know how relieved I was when I heard your voice. We all were thinking the worst at that point.”

  “The worst?”

  Kade gave a short rueful laugh. “We thought maybe the spirits had done you in or something. That’s how crazy it’s getting around here! A few days ago, such a thing wouldn’t have even crossed our minds.”

  “I told you that spirits don’t hurt people.”

  “Yeah … well, we didn’t know what to think when dinner came and you didn’t show up and then we found your cottage unlocked and your phone inside, like you planned to be out for just a short while and there was no sign of you anywhere.”

  “I’m really sorry.”

  “Stop apologizing. How long were you down here before I found you?”

  “About two hours I think.”

  “Jesus, Tess. I’m sorry we didn’t start looking sooner. We had no idea where you were.”

  “Now it is you who need not apologize.”

  I paused to rest again for my arms were killing me. After a few moments, I looked up and the flashlight beam revealed a board blocking the tunnel about five feet ahead. “We may be coming to an end.” What if it were a dead end? I couldn’t let myself go there because it was a horrific thought. Our only option would be to crawl back … and we’d have to do it backwards because there was not enough space to turn around. By now we were crawling on our bellies, using our legs and arms to propel forward. If we had to crawl back, it would take twice as long and then we’d have to wait until we were dug out … for surely the McKeons would dig for our bodies, even if they believed we were dead?

  “It might be an opening to another chamber.” I twisted sideways so Kade could see around me. “It looks like an opening, doesn’t it?”

  “Yes. This tunnel did not dig itself and no one is going to dig this far in and just stop.”

  “Right.” I started crawling again, this time a bit faster. Hope, I have found, does wondrous things to a tired body! When I finally reached the obstructing board, I couldn’t so much as budge it when I gave it a push. There was not enough space for me to squeeze around it either. Resting my cheek on the blasted thing, I shined my light into what looked like a small room of some kind. There was about a three-foot drop to the floor. “I can’t get this board out of the way. It looks like there’s a cave
rn on the other side.” From the looks of it, the board blocking our way used to support the opening to the tunnel at one time but had fallen with age and was now wedged into the clay.

  “We’re going to have to trade places so I can give it a go.”

  It took a lot of careful maneuvering to get Kade close enough to do so. We both twisted until we were facing each other on our sides and then he began to push himself forward. For a moment, I couldn’t move. Honestly, I hadn’t been this close to a man in two years. How was I supposed to feel? Increased heart rate? Got it. Breathless? Oh yes. A melting sensation starting at the pit of my stomach and spreading everywhere. Oh my, yes! God, I had to get out of here. I closed my eyes just as Kade’s face came up next to mine. Our breaths mingled. So, I was breathing after all.

  “Use me to push down, I can’t go any further.” Kade’s voice rumbled low in his chest and because I was pressed so close to him, I could feel the vibration of it. I didn’t think I was going to be able to move, however. Every bone in my body had just liquidated. I wanted to … God, I just wanted to mold myself to him. Heat raced through my blood and I actually broke out in a sweat. We were in peril; couldn’t I just focus on that? Who thinks about how good someone feels when they are facing possible death? I tried best as I could to gather my scrambled wits and focus on what needed to be done. I lowered my hands to his shoulders. My fingers curled around sinewy muscle and … stayed there.

  “Tess?” Kade’s gravelly voice made the breath hitch in my throat. And I realized in that moment just what was happening and barely managed to stifle my shocked gasp. Desire. It thrummed through my body, hot and fluid. The excitement that accompanied it was making my breathing go haywire and my stomach jump around as if a thousand butterflies were trapped within it. Good God, I thought I would never feel this way for another person ever again.