Be Still, My Love

by Deborah J. Hughes

  Kade leaned close and spoke in my ear, a move that didn’t help my breathing. Breathless. I felt breathless. Because Kade was speaking in my ear. God, I needed to get a grip. So focused was I on my own thoughts I totally missed what he said and had to go through it all again when I whispered back. “What?”

  “I overheard Modesta talking to Raymond about our plans for tonight. She wants him to put a stop to it. I don’t think Nancy or Jack know yet, though.”

  Modesta? I turned to look for her. She sat at the end of the table in her usual spot, listening to the talk around her but not participating. As if aware of my regard, she looked down the table and met my eyes. Her gaze narrowed and I felt stung by it. Her dark eyes were filled with venom and this change in attitude surprised me. Up to this point, Modesta had been quite pleasant to me. Curious about things even. What the hell? I leaned close to Kade. “What’s her problem?”

  Kade shrugged and then patted my leg which had the effect of knocking the air completely from my lungs. It was all I could do not to gasp out loud.

  Unaware of my reaction, Kade said quietly, “Not sure. They stopped talking when they noticed I had entered the room. I took that as cue they didn’t want to discuss it with me.”

  The meal couldn’t end fast enough. Honestly, I wished I enjoyed the food better for George had outdone himself. Chicken Parmesan over ziti pasta, freshly baked rolls, and crispy salad. All of it delicious and yet I didn’t savor any of it. My stomach felt tied in knots. Modesta’s attitude and Raymond’s suspiciousness really bothered me. What did they think I was going to do?

  It didn’t take long before everyone dispersed to their own pursuits. The young girl eyeballing Raymond had lingered until it became obvious he had no interest in her. Raymond was too busy talking to his aunt. Every now and then, he would look about, catch my eye, smile as if in apology and turn away. They had wandered off to the general sitting area that was open to the public. Rather a surprise when it looked like their conversation would best be held somewhere more private. Jack had followed them only briefly, spoke something in Nancy’s ear and then left the room. Modesta was at the front desk but she kept a close eye on the situation in the sitting room.

  Kade and I sat outside the sitting area in a small alcove overlooking the front yard. He smoked a cigarette and I watched the cars pass by, some of them slowing for a longer look at the resort. I didn’t blame them. The place was enchanting to look at, especially for someone unaware of the currents flowing through the atmosphere. A heavy feeling of … I don’t know … evil was not a good word, too strong. It was a negative vibe, though, and it chilled me. Up to this point, I was deliberately blocking my perception of communication from the Tri-State. I didn’t want to be influenced until it was time.

  “Raymond is trying to talk Nancy out of the séance. I bet you.” Kade blew a haze of smoke into the air, looked at his cigarette with disgust and crushed it out in the ashtray. “I’m going to quit smoking again.”

  “Good idea. Your body will be most pleased. In seven years it will be like you never smoked.”

  Kade narrowed his gaze at me. “Seven years?”

  “That’s how long they say it takes for the body to completely renew itself. Every seven years, we get a new body.”

  “Hmmm.” Kade looked skeptical. “They say this huh?”

  We were trying to keep things light between us. I felt his attempts as surely as I felt Modesta’s eyes boring into the back of my head. Did he regret kissing me? Did I want him to regret it?

  “Hey you two, want to join us in the private living room?” Nancy opened the sliding glass door and waved us inside. Kade placed a hand on my back to guide me along and a small thrill went through me. I missed these things that occurred between a man and a woman. These little things like a hand on my back.

  Raymond was pacing the room when we entered. He stopped when he saw us and studied Kade’s expression. Raymond admired Kade, he trusted him and now he was looking to Kade for reassurance. “Ray, you sure were a quiet one at the dinner table.” Kade clamped a hand on Raymond’s shoulder. “Didn’t you notice the cutie a couple seats down? She couldn’t seem to tear her eyes off you.” He shook his head in wonder. “A conquest without so much as a smile. Not bad.”

  Raymond smiled, glanced at me and went all serious in the face. “I’ve got stuff on my mind.”

  Nancy gave me an apologetic look and I knew I was in for it. Bracing myself, I sat down and tried to look relaxed and unconcerned. “What kind of stuff?”

  Jack entered the sitting room from a private door and took in the situation with a sweeping glance. “Raymond? What are you doing here? I thought you were going to Bar Harbor. It’s tonight that you have that date isn’t it?”

  “Well, Uncle Jack, I wanted to talk to you guys first.” He glanced at his watch. “I have about twenty minutes before I have to leave.” He gave me a pointed look and I held my breath. Was he going to attack or accuse?

  Nancy poked her head out to the entrance hall and spoke to Modesta. “We’re going to need our privacy for a while so please try and see we are not disturbed unless it is an emergency.”

  I couldn’t hear Modesta’s reply but I saw Nancy stiffen. “It’s okay, Modesta. Honestly.” Nancy shut the door and turned to look at me. At a guess, I’d say she wasn’t sure if I’d heard Modesta’s reply and was trying to gauge my reaction. “She doesn’t understand what we are trying to do. She thinks séances are evil, the work of Satan.”

  “Speaking of which, Aunt Nancy, although I don’t believe that, I also don’t believe you guys should be messing with this kind of thing.” Raymond turned to his uncle. “I’ve been telling Aunt Nancy that I don’t like this idea. It’s stupid, a waste of time. Honestly, Uncle Jack …” Raymond glanced at Kade including him on his plea. “Kade, you guys don’t really believe in that stuff do you?”

  Jack waved for Raymond to sit down and after a moment’s hesitation, he did so and Jack took the empty chair closest to him. Nancy crossed the room, patted Raymond’s shoulder as she passed him and stopped just behind her husband, resting a hand on the back of his chair. They presented a united front, but also a supportive one.

  Jack took in his nephew’s stony expression and sighed. “Ray, something isn’t right in this house. You know it. We all know it. If we don’t try to do something … well, I fear it could get worse. If Tess thinks she can help, what’s wrong in giving it a try? What can it hurt?”

  Raymond glanced at me, his eyes assessing. I met his gaze and did not waver from it. I needed him to see that I was not the enemy here. “Have you done séances before?”

  “Yes.”

  “Have they ever done any good?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do you really believe you can talk to dead people?”

  “Yes.”

  Raymond looked down at the floor. After a long pause he looked up and the expression in his face made my breath hitch. He looked so lost and just a little afraid. “What if it’s my parents?”

  His question surprised me so much I didn’t know what to say at first. I stared at him in confusion. “Your parents?”

  “What if it isn’t that Abigail girl and the Nathan boy who are haunting this house? What if my parents are?”

  Nancy’s face went white. “God, Raymond, why would you even think such a thing?”

  I stared at Raymond for a long moment then closed my eyes as I sought contact with the Tri-State. It didn’t take long at all for a gentle feeling to settle over me and I smiled. “You’ve felt their presence from time to time haven’t you, Raymond?”

  He nodded, his adam’s apple bobbing in his strong, tanned throat. “Especially since coming here.”

  “You never said …” Nancy’s voice was barely audible. Her hand visibly tightened on her husband’s chair.

  “I thought you’d think I was crazy.” Raymond turned to me, his expression hard, as if he thought to fight me. “I don’t want you to send them away.”

  “
Raymond, your parents love you and they will continue to look out for you no matter what I do. They are not our target tonight. I wouldn’t dream of sending them away. You can believe that.” I stood and walked to him. He was so handsome, I could feel the pride his parents felt. “Your parents are proud of who you are. They are here only to protect you, Raymond.”

  “Protect me?”

  “From whatever else is here I think.”

  Jack frowned, looking quite displeased. “Does Raymond require protection?”

  I closed my eyes for a moment. So many things flooded my mind, my emotions. Sometimes, while in communication with the Tri-State, words were just not required. Many of my messages were a jumble of feelings, coming at me all at once in a blinding flash, a shower of love. “No, I don’t think so. But negative forces are at work here. They just want to keep Raymond surrounded with their protective love.”

  Nancy pressed her hands to her stomach, her body visibly shaking. “Are you communicating with my sister right now?”

  I looked at Nancy, saw the state she was in and went to her. I touched her arm and gently squeezed it. “Sort of. I feel their spirits. And before you ask … no, they are not haunting this house.” I glanced at Raymond who was now standing as well, his eyes glued to me almost desperately. I saw the little boy who lost his parents watching me as if I were about to give them back. Moments like these hurt, they squeezed my chest and made my lungs burn. “Raymond, since you’ve come to stay here, you’ve been a little afraid haven’t you?”

  Raymond glanced briefly at his aunt and uncle and then returned his full attention to me. “Not really afraid. Just nervous.”

  “We all have psychic ability to some degree. You feel those spirits haunting this house just as I do. Though you don’t believe they will hurt you, you don’t like having something around that you can’t see. So, you’ve been nervous and your parents have responded to that by surrounding you with their loving energy.”

  “So, they aren’t ghosts?” Raymond shook his head. “I don’t understand.”

  “When people pass into the Tri-State, they sometimes maintain a close connection with loved ones they left behind. They do so in order to offer comfort and love when needed.” I touched Raymond’s hand and he grasped my fingers, holding tight. “Enjoy that, Raymond. Not everyone is open enough to feel when loved ones in the Tri-State are near. The séance tonight has nothing to do with them. I assure you.”

  Raymond’s look was almost desperate. “How do I know this is real?”

  “Raymond, does it feel real?” I once again met his gaze and let him see the answer in my eyes.

  Tears filled those beautiful blue eyes that looked so much like Mike’s. “Yes. It feels real.”

  “Then it is.”

  He nodded. “Thanks, Tess.” He gave me a hug, then pulled away, his expression now quite different from a moment before. “Can you predict the future or anything?”

  “No, why?”

  “Just wondering if you can tell me which girl I can trust.” He grinned then laughed outright when his uncle started chuckling.

  “No, sorry, Ray. I am not that type of psychic. Wish I were.”

  Looking dramatically crestfallen, he nodded. “Just checking. Well …” he glanced at his watch. “Don’t want to be late for my first date with Melissa. We’re going out with a couple of my friends. She wants to go dancing at some little club along the waterfront. I hope the place is inside, it looks like a storm is coming.”

  “Melissa? Isn’t she the girl you met on that ferry last week?” Nancy’s brow knit in thought. “What happened to Sandy?”

  Raymond kissed his aunt’s cheek as he passed. “Too demanding and jealous. Melissa manages one of the galleries in town. She’s smart, beautiful, and fun. She doesn’t seem to be the jealous type.” He glanced at me hopefully. “You have nothing? No vibe about her or anything?”

  Smiling, I said softly. “Your parents like her.”

  Raymond stopped short, looked at me as if dumbfounded then he began to grin. “Well, then. There’s my answer.”

  Soon as he left the room, three pairs of eyes focused on me. I shifted uncomfortably. “What?”

  “Did you really feel my sister and her husband here?” Nancy sank down on the arm of Jack’s chair and put a hand on his shoulder for support. “Are they still here?”

  “No, they aren’t still here. And they were only here in a brief sense when I was talking to Raymond. I could feel them in the Tri-State and I knew instinctively that they’ve been keeping a close watch on him. This place … it must be a strong beacon to the other side. There are lots of vibes here.” I shook my head and shrugged. “I wish I could explain it better.”

  “I think it’s pretty cool what just happened,” Kade said. “Raymond looked quite happy when he left here, more sure of himself.”

  “He’s had such a hard time with girls. I hope this Melissa is good for him.” Nancy stood and paced the room. “I don’t know what I think about all this.” She glanced at me, her eyes clinging to mine. “I want to believe it, but …”

  “It’s okay, Nancy. Let’s just do this and see what we get out of it.” I glanced at Jack. “Are we still going to go into the basement?”

  He frowned as if the thought didn’t please him that much. “If you insist.”

  “I do.” Why I was adamant about this I don’t know, but I felt the vibration there was strong. If the atmosphere already hummed with Tri-State activity, it would certainly make my part in the séance easier.

  “Well, let’s do it then.” Jack put an arm around Nancy’s shoulders. “You okay?”

  “Yes.” Nancy gave him a small smile. “Let’s go.”

  Kade and I followed behind them. We went out a private door and entered a hallway off limits to the public. In no time at all we were in the cellar. Earlier Jack and Raymond had brought down a folding card table and four chairs. As I had instructed, a couple white candles were placed near the table, one on a storage shelf and the other on a crate. Jack lit the candles and I picked up the sage and held it over the flame. As soon as the fragrant herb began to smoke, I moved about the room, praying softly as I did so. The cellar was a little chilly, but once Jack shut the door to the outer part where the tunnel was located, it soon began to grow warmer. The heat from the candles helped. At my bidding, Nancy turned off the lights and only the gentle candle flames illuminated the room.

  We took our seats at the table. I placed what was left of the sage next to the candle on the crate beside me and had everyone hold hands. Kade sat on one side of me, his grip firm, his hands warm. Jack sat on the other side. His hands were cool, his hold gentle. Nancy sat across from me. We looked at each other for a long moment, she looking for reassurance and me offering it. When it seemed that she was beginning to relax, I offered her an encouraging smile. After a brief hesitation, she gave me a nod to indicate she was ready.

  Drawing in a slow breath, I glanced from one to the other as I spoke. “Okay, I want you to know that there is nothing to fear. We are going to invite Abigail and Nathan to join us. I will allow them to communicate through me however they wish. You may feel drafts, you may feel as if someone is standing next to you or behind you, do not fear it. I ask that you not break contact with the hand you are holding. Doing so could interrupt the flow of energy.” My gaze rested on each one, waiting to see if they were going to object to the proceedings or allow me to continue. No one said a word. “Any questions?”

  “Are the spirits going to take over your body?” Kade’s very expression, let alone the tone of his voice, told me he didn’t think well of that idea.

  “Not usually. More often than not, I pick up their responses either through thought or, sometimes I can hear them, which is called clairaudience. I can usually picture them quite clearly in my mind but sometimes, I can actually see them with my eyes. I don’t know how it will work out tonight.” I squeezed Kade’s hand. He squeezed back.

  “How do you know it is a spirit you are
talking to and not just your imagination?” Jack asked.

  “I can only tell you that I am well aware of the difference. I will be honest in admitting that I’ve questioned myself about these things since … well, since Mike passed on.” Would Sheila make an appearance tonight? I figured it best to prepare them. “I haven’t told you about … about Sheila.”

  “Sheila?” Nancy frowned. “Is she a spirit? Is she haunting us also?”

  “No, Nancy. Sheila is my spirit guide. I used to communicate with her often and she acted sort of like a go between for me and those in the Tri-State. I’ve always thought of her as my protector.” I paused, felt my throat close up and tears prick my eyes. “I haven’t been in communication with her since … well, it’s been two years.”

  Kade squeezed my hand again. I turned to look at him and found his compassionate gaze focused on me. “Are you upset with her for losing your husband? Do you feel she could have done something?”

  How could he know that? Marveling at his perceptivity, our eyes met and held. Kade’s hand gently squeezed mine as he spoke. “Sometimes, even when we want to, no matter how badly we may want to, we can’t help.”

  I knew he was thinking about his troops and his experiences in war. I understood what he was trying to say and some of my pain eased. Yes, I knew that sometimes things had to be and no one was to blame. It was past time for me to stop blaming Sheila. I closed my eyes, bowed my head. “I’m so sorry.” I spoke the words softly but I knew she heard them. A light brushing of cobwebs covered my face. I smiled, rejoiced in it and waited. Surprisingly, the cobweb feeling went away. A chill passed through me and then the coldness began to invade. I knew then that Sheila’s retreat was a warning. She couldn’t stay here; too much negative energy.

  It is my understanding that those in the Tri-State must obey the limitations we in the physical reality place on them. They cannot intrude upon us, or even communicate when asked, if a strong resistance is present. So who was resisting? I opened my eyes, glanced around the table. Jack looked reserved but expectant. I did not detect any negativity from him. Nancy looked nervous but anticipation lit her eyes. Kade looked patient, ready and open. So where was the problem?