The Broken Road to Forever

by Rhonda Dennis

  Homecoming week comes, and the only bright spot so far is when Brent sees me during the parade, and I’m pretty sure he gives “the signal.” I can’t be sure because he nearly loses his balance while passing by, but Iris assures me he does. She’d probably tell me he did regardless, but I choose not to question it because Tim distracts me with his melodrama when Nigel the Nutria dances past us. Tim balls his hand into a fist and plants it against his lips as he feigns tears.

  “It should’ve been me.” He shakes his head and holds his other hand out in the stop fashion while lowering his gaze to the ground. “No. Don’t try to cheer me up. It hurts too bad.”

  “Tim,” Iris warns.

  “I was destined to go down in nutria hall of fame. I feel it with every ounce of my being. My dream is forever shattered thanks to…” He lifts his head long enough to cock it in my direction.

  “Oh, no. Don’t you go blaming that on me. Plus, that was three years ago. Don’t you think it’s time we let it go?”

  “Hall. Of. Fame. Mallory.”

  “Shut. The. Hell. Up. Tim,” Iris says, backing away from the crowd and starting back toward the dorms. He quickly catches up with her to wrap his arms around her waist, then lifts her into the air. Her legs pump wildly as she fusses for him to put her down. Seeing their playful exchange leaves me feeling lonelier than I have in a long time.

  “Are you coming, Mal?” Iris asks.

  “Huh?”

  “To the bar? Are you coming?”

  I muster a slight smile. “Nah, I don’t think so. I’m not feeling so great, so I think I’ll just watch a movie or something.”

  “Are you sure?” she asks, rocking back in forth as Tim nuzzles her neck.

  “Yep. I’m sure. You two go and have a good time.”

  “I don’t mind staying behind,” Iris says with sincerity.

  “I know that. Go. Really.”

  “Okay. Would you like me to bring you anything when I come back?”

  “Nope. I’m all good.”

  “Okay then. See you later. Don’t wait up.” She gives me a wink before she and Tim walk out the door.

  I dig through the pile of movies, but nothing catches my eye. I seriously debate catching a bus back home because I’m so melancholy that a hug from Mom is desperately needed. The bus is such an ordeal, that I decide against it and opt to call her instead. She knows right away that something is wrong. I try reassuring her that everything is okay, but she doesn’t buy it. When I tell her that I’m not sure what the issue is, her tone changes, and she shifts the topic of conversation.

  “Remember that nice boy you went to the dance with in high school?”

  “How could I forget, Mom. I only went to one dance.”

  “Well, I ran into him the other day when he checked out in my line. His braces are gone, and he looks different now.”

  “Oh, that’s nice.”

  “He asked about you.”

  “That’s nice, too.”

  “I told him all about how you’re single and doing really well in college. He said he’s in college, too. Going to school to be an architect. Isn’t that wonderful?”

  “I guess.”

  “He asked for a phone number, so I gave him the one to your dorm room.”

  “You did what? Mom! Why?”

  “Why not? If he wouldn’t have gotten it from me, I’m sure he would’ve gotten it from his cousin who goes to school with you. He was excited when he found out you both attend BCU.”

  “Was he now?”

  “Very.”

  I let out a breath. “I should probably go.”

  “Okay, but you should know that he’s going to be there for the homecoming game this weekend.”

  “No!”

  “He’s going to see Nate play, of course, but he wants to meet up with you afterwards.” She giggles as I roll my eyes.

  “What if I have plans?” Her giggles grow to a full on laugh. “It’s not that far of a stretch. It could happen.”

  “Mallory, nuns have more of a social life than you. Really, I don’t understand why you choose to live your life this way. I’ve worked hard to provide for you, and though it’s not been the best life, my mission has been to give you a good life.”

  “You have, Mom. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. I’m sorry. I was just taken aback because I wasn’t expecting to hear all of this when I called. Plus, I had to student teach today, and THAT kid was there today.”

  “The one who eats paste and farts on his classmates?”

  “Yes, that’s the one.”

  “You’d think that behavior would stop by eighth grade.”

  “Yeah, you’d think, right?”

  “Well, you’re so close to graduating. Don’t let him spoil it for you.”

  “I won’t.”

  “So, are you going to meet with Howard if he calls?”

  “No.”

  “Don’t say that. At least think about it.”

  “I did. No.”

  “Mallory, you need to let loose a little. You know what they say about all work and no play.”

  “Okay, Mom. I’ll think about it.” I only concede because it’s the only way to get off the phone with her.

  “That’s my girl. Have a good night. I love you.”

  “Love you too, Mom. Goodnight.” I sit in silence for quite a while after we hang up. Maybe I should meet with Howard? It would be kind of nice to go out to dinner or something, and Brent couldn’t be upset about it because he’s always out with some girl. Nothing will happen between me and Howard; it’s just dinner with an old friend. I chastise myself for being presumptuous. He hasn’t even called me, and I’m planning a get together.

  I jump backwards when the phone rings and put the receiver to my ear within half a ring. “Mom?”

  “Uh, no. Sorry to call so late, but may I please speak to Mallory?”

  “This is she.” But who is he? This guy has no lisp, and his voice is much deeper than Howard’s.

  “Hi! This is Nate’s cousin, Howard. We went to your high school homecoming dance together. Do you remember?”

  “Of course I do, but…”

  “I owe you a huge apology for abandoning you that night. I had way too much to drink, and well… Sorry.”

  “Don’t be.” He has no idea how sincere I am about that. If not for his preoccupation with the swimming pool, I’d never have had the special moment with Brent.

  “I’ll be going to BCU tomorrow to spend a few days with Nate. Do you think we could meet up for coffee or dinner or something?”

  “Sure. That sounds nice.”

  “Okay then.” His voice lifts an octave. “I’ll call you once I get to town.”

  “Sounds good. Good night.”

  “Good night, Mallory.”

  Feeling less blah, I change into my pajamas and curl into bed where I lie in the darkness trying to think of anything but Brent. Where is he right now? Who is he with? I graduate next semester, and so does he, but he still has law school to go. Why can’t we just have a normal relationship right now? Why did I have to be born so poor, and he to the horrible father he has? Life loves throwing curveballs.

  ***

  The weekend is nearly here, and I should be growing more excited with each passing minute, but it’s been a shit day. The kids I student teach refuse to cooperate, the principal reprimands me for not maintaining control of the classroom, and I’m convinced I’ve just spent the last four years following the wrong degree program. Okay, maybe I’m overreacting. The kids were uncooperative, but they were amped up for the pep rally they’d be having after finishing my class. Plus, the principal didn’t technically reprimand me; she just offered some words of wisdom for how to handle such an event if it occurred again. As for my degree, I can’t imagine myself being anything other than a teacher, so that was just a silly thing to think. I’m seriously trying to turn my day around while walking across campus to the dorm. I’m exhausted, and a nice nap should help tremendou
sly.

  Deciding to stop at the student union for a few snacks, I’m jostled by a group of rambunctious football fans who hoot and holler as they run past me. I have to smash my body against the guard rails leading to the building to avoid the next group who run through. I glance over to where a crowd is quickly conglomerating, and I see Nate standing on the raised portion of the building’s entryway. The crowd below cheers him on as he waves to them. Seeing this makes me smile. I’m so proud of my friend and all of his accomplishments. I rarely see him anymore, but he’s still the same sweetheart he was in high school, always asking about my welfare when our paths do cross.

  Brent joins him, and my heart does its usual gallop until his father steps up from behind them. The sinking feeling in my stomach becomes full on nausea when his newest girlfriend wraps her arms around his waist, squeezing tightly. In return, he kisses the top of her head, and I have to fight the tears from falling. I’ve seen him with other girls, and it never bothered me before because they were nothing more than show pieces. Witnessing such a seemingly intimate act leaves me absolutely gutted. He waves to the crowd, scanning it as he shifts from left to right. No signal when he reaches me. I can’t be absolutely certain he saw me, but nonetheless, I allow myself to imagine the worst.

  Heartbroken, I forget about the snacks and slowly make my way back to my room. Iris, wearing cat ears, cat tail, and drawn-on whiskers, is on all fours while rubbing up against Tim’s legs. I walk past them and plop into my bed, covering my entire body with a blanket. Iris tugs on the blanket.

  “It’s not like the last time you caught us. This one is for Tim’s acting class, and I’m just helping out. You can come out from under there if you want.”

  “I don’t want to.”

  “Seriously, there’s nothing sexual going on.”

  “I’m glad, and the answer is still no.” I feel the bed dip under Iris’ weight.

  “What’s wrong?” Her voice is cautiously inquisitive.

  “Everything,” I mumble through the blanket.

  “Tim, you should leave. This sounds like something that requires some girl talk.”

  “No, don’t leave, Tim. I don’t want to talk.”

  “She needs to talk it out. I’ll call you later, Tim,” Iris insists.

  I toss aside the blanket. “Really. Don’t go. You two finish your whatever it is you were doing. I’m going to go for a walk.”

  “Don’t leave, Mals,” Iris pleads. I blow out a breath. “Some guy named Howard called for you earlier. He said for me to tell you that he’s on campus, and he’ll meet you downstairs at seven for your dinner date. Who’s Howard?”

  “What? I never even agreed to go with him! Did he leave a number where I can reach him? I have to cancel.”

  “Nope. No number.” I grumble under my breath. “Oh, stop. You should go. You hardly ever do anything, and you’re wasting away your college years. These are the years you can get away with anything. You can totally embarrass the shit out of yourself, and people can be discussing it when you’re old and stuff, and then you say, ‘it happened during my college days,’ and they will say, ‘Ah. Yes, the good old days.’ Everyone knows that people get free passes to be stupid in college.”

  “I’m not in the mood, Iris. I really don’t want to go.”

  She plops next to me, a sympathetic look on her face. “Would it make you feel better if Tim and I went, too? We could double date.”

  I perk up only slightly. “You’d do that for me?” Tim is in the background shaking his head, but Iris jumps up and claps for joy.

  “Of course we will!” I could let Tim off the hook, but I won’t. As far as I’m concerned, he’s still paying penance for the nutria mascot incident three years ago.

  “Thank you. I guess I’ll start getting ready.”

  “Me, too. What was it we used to remove the cat whiskers last time, Tim?”

  “Tequila.”

  “Seems like I should’ve remembered that.”

  “You drank a lot afterwards.”

  “That explains it. Speaking of cats, did you know that a group of cats is called a clowder?” Tim’s expression is blank, and I pretend not to hear her. Once Iris gets started with her useless trivia facts, it’s hard to stop her. Shrugging her shoulder, she fishes the bottle of tequila from under her bed, wets a cotton ball with the liquid, and rubs the black lines from her face.

  Looking as bored and depressed as a trio can be, Iris, Tim, and I sit on the sofa in the lobby while awaiting Howard. Iris perks up for a bit, “Did you know…” Tim and I stare her down, and she slinks back into the sofa. “Never mind. Not important.” The door opens, and I’m confused. Howard isn’t Howard, or is he? I think it’s Howard, but the changes in his appearance—whoa! He’s much taller than the last time I saw him, and the smile he flashes when he sees me is brilliant. He’s quite handsome, not in a knock-out gorgeous kind of way, but very attractive, nonetheless. “Is that him?” Iris breathes into my ear.

  “I think so,” I answer, still trying to make sense of it all.

  “I’ll take him if you don’t want him,” she whispers.

  I give her a look, and she knows exactly what I mean by it. Your boyfriend of four-and-a-half years is sitting right beside us! Her cheeks flush, but only for a second.

  “Mallory! Wow, it’s so good to see you. Again, I’m sorry with the way we left things after the dance. I’d never really partied before, and those drinks! Man, I was so embarrassed after I found out all of the stuff I did at Brent’s that night. I don’t blame you for not calling me back afterwards, but I hope enough time has gone by to let bygones be bygones. I mean, I’m here. You accepted my invitation to dinner, so I’m guessing things are headed in the right direction. Who are you two? Will you be joining us? I’m Howard, and I thought we’d have Chinese food tonight. The more the merrier. Shall I drive?”

  Well, the shy and quiet Howard is obviously gone, and now replaced by an extra-talkative and self-assured Howard. We follow him to the parking lot where he holds open the passenger door for me to slide inside of his sedan. It’s new, but a sensible car one would more likely see driven by a middle-aged person as opposed to a college student. Once we’re all buckled, he shifts the car into drive.

  “Did you know that the longer the finger, the faster the nail will grow?”

  My eyes widen, and I slowly look back to Iris, who is equally wide-eyed. Tim is oblivious as he stares out the window. Having one useless-fact-reciter in my life is more than enough. Oh my gosh, what other surprises does this night have in store for me?

  TEN

  “I’ve never eaten here before. Where in the world are we?” Tim confesses as we step inside the door of a Chinese restaurant located on the outskirts of a town not far from the campus.

  “It’s newly opened, and I was told the food’s good, so I thought we’d give it a try,” Howard says.

  Looking at the décor, nothing sets this apart from any other Chinese restaurant I’ve visited, but the air is hot and heavy inside. Brightly colored red and white decorations adorn nearly every inch of the space, and many pictures of dragons and lions hang on the walls. All that is missing are the tacky cats. I smile to myself when I spot some lining a shelf on the back wall. Countless plants dot the area, and a sinking sensation hits the pit of my stomach when I recall Howard’s severe allergies. Playing it cool, I carefully reach out to touch a leaf, and I’m relieved because they’re all plastic!

  “You like Chinese, don’t you, Mallory? Did I do well?” Howard eagerly asks. The place is tacky, the smells aren’t all that appealing, and I feel a bead of sweat threatening to run down the crack of my ass. As I search for the right words to politely say that I’d rather leave, his excitement dulls, and worry replaces his excitement. He’s trying to impress me, but why? We had one date that was a total flop, but all these years later, here he is trying hard again. That means something to me.

  With sweat beaded across his upper lip, Tim gives me pleading eyes. “Yes. T
hank you, Howard.” Out of Howard’s line of sight, Tim swings his arm to show his disappointment with my choice. Howard’s smile grows; however, and I’m shocked when he takes my hand in his. I stare down at our entangled fingers with uncertainty.

  An old man dressed in traditional Chinese garb and donning a wispy gray Fu Manchu, shuffles from behind a door at the back of the room. He’s thin, hunched over, and scowling as he steadily makes his way to us. “You want table?” he sternly asks in broken English.

  Howard nods.

  “Okay. You come.” We follow in a line until he stops at a table nestled in the far corner of the sweltering restaurant. I’m not sure why he places us in the boondocks being that we’re the only patrons, but so be it. The sooner we eat; the sooner we leave.

  “Thank you,” I say. The old man gives a curt nod before walking away. Tim and Iris sit on one side of the table, while Howard and I move to the opposite side where I pull out the chair nearest to me. An overeager Howard rushes to take it from my reach, causing me to stumble forward slightly. With an awkward smile I take my seat, and a beaming Howard pushes in my chair. A man being this attentive to me is new and foreign, but kind of nice all the same. The interactions between me and Brent are always rushed rendezvouses, so it leaves very little time for chivalry and pleasantries.

  Pulling the menu from its stand in the middle of the table, I fan myself with it a few times before perusing what’s offered. “Did you know that Chinese food has five key flavors that must be balanced according to traditional Chinese medicine? Salty, sour, sweet, spicy, and bitter,” Howard announces to the table.

  “I did!” Iris excitably bobs her head. “Did you know that the flavors vary across china? Sichuan cuisine is famous for its spiciness, Hong Kong cuisine is sweet or savory, northern cuisine is salty, and southern minority cuisine is sour.” I stop fanning myself to give her a look. Evidently, Howard has something in common with Iris. I hope this night doesn’t turn into a Jeopardy! episode. She looks awestruck, but Howard remains oblivious while trying to read my menu from over my shoulder. Astute Tim glares daggers at Howard.