Still Into You

by Andrews, Ryleigh

  The bed gave under Ethan’s weight, interrupting her thoughts. He knelt before her, a knowing smile on his face. He leaned down and placed his lips upon the skin of her calf. Her head fell to the side, overwhelmed at the love she felt, as well as all the damn hopelessness she just couldn’t shake. As she fought the tears, he kissed his way up her body.

  Why did she have to leave him? Why was life so goddamn unfair? Why couldn’t she just love him and he love her? Why couldn’t it be that simple? Why did it feel like what happened in her childhood would overthrow her life to a point where she didn’t exist anymore?

  Despite her emotional turmoil, her body responded to his knowing touch. He may have seemed impatient when he brought her to the bed, but she knew now he had no intention of hurrying. He took his time loving her and even let her turn the tables on him and let her explore him. She savored the way he tasted, just like she remembered, the way her lips glided over the hard muscle of his chest, his arms, his legs.

  Ethan kept his gaze on her the entire time, heating her face from the intensity. As she worked her way back up his chest, the pain of their situation caught up with her. She inhaled his scent, knowing that this very well could be the last time she breathed in his comforting smell. With her lips above his stomach, her tears tried to make an appearance, but she fought hard, not wanting them to ruin this moment.

  His hand pushed aside her fallen hair, tucking it behind her ear as he caressed her cheek and then her mouth. She kissed each finger as they slowly crossed her lips.

  He rolled them over and stared down at her. Lowering his head, he lightly kissed each closed eye, causing a lone tear to slip down her cheek, puddling by her earlobe.

  “Open your eyes, suga,” he beckoned her, situating himself between her legs. She felt him hard against her center, waiting, yet she kept her eyes shut.

  “Look at me,” he ordered again before kissing her lips. Mia finally opened her eyes, focusing on his as he slowly entered her. She couldn’t help it—her eyelids slid closed at how good it felt to have him inside of her.

  Ethan stopped moving and held her chin between his thumb and index finger. “No, keep them open. Look at me,” he repeated as he pushed himself all the way inside with one swift stroke.

  “Ah, fuck,” she said on an exhale of breath, loving the way he filled her so completely, so perfectly.

  “Listen to you,” he whispered as he rocked his hips against her. Wrapping her legs high on his waist, she raised her hips to meet his steady thrusts, whimpering as each stroke reminded her that he loved her.

  I won’t forget, Ethan, she thought, as they surrendered to the passion. Mia screamed out his name as he filled her. She clamped down on him, frantically holding him to her, not wanting to let go.

  Don’t think about it. Just enjoy this, she told herself, cradling his weight on her, his soft hair a perfect playground for her fingers. She groaned when he kissed her breast and rolled over, pulling her to his side.

  “Ethan . . .” she started, still catching her breath. “That was . . .”

  “Pretty fucking amazing. I know,” he finished, kissing her head. She chuckled against his chest because that was definitely a fact.

  “Any chance of doing that again?”

  “We’ll see,” he said with a sly grin, yanking up the blanket up over them. “Now go to sleep.”

  “I don’t want to,” she pouted, absently running her fingers around his chest. He chuckled and turned on his side, his face even with hers. His smile grew as he raked his eyes over her.

  “I love that pout,” he said, tracing her lips. “But I much rather you have a smile on that pretty face.”

  Unconsciously, the corners of her mouth perked up. It never failed. He could always make her smile.

  “And here it is,” he said, reaching over and kissing her once, and then again like it wasn’t enough.

  And then, because she couldn’t help it, Mia said the three little words she didn’t know whether she should say anymore.

  “I love you,” she spoke quietly, amazed at how right it felt to say that.

  That rightness faded when she saw the pain flash in his eyes, but he quickly recovered and smiled at her. “Oh, I see what you’re doing. You’re trying to have sex again, and you think by saying that, it’ll make me change my mind.”

  She chuckled softly at his exaggerated outrage, pushing the sight of his pain away, deep within her, to be dealt with another time. “Is it going to work?” she asked, taking her lower lip between her teeth and just going along with his playfulness.

  “Yes,” he admitted, swiftly pulling her to him and attacking her neck with his lips. As much as she wanted this passion from him, she wanted something else more.

  “Ethan?” she asked, stopping him. She took his face in her hands and searched his eyes, needing to know if he loved her back.

  “I love you too, Mia,” he said before he smiled devilishly at her and headed south beneath the covers.

  Ethan

  The next morning, Ethan lay in bed, Mia’s body wrapped tightly around him, her hand on his chest, her legs entwined with his. He’d gotten his chance and didn’t want to let her go. She belonged with him—no one else.

  He knew nothing had really changed. All that baggage was still there. But maybe now she’d let him help her with it. Because from what he’d seen, the weight on her shoulders was more than one person could handle. He’d gladly carry all her pain, all her troubles, if it would get her better.

  His eyes rose at the sound of the door to her room opening. Who the hell would be trying to get in her room at this hour? The person’s loud curse stopped him from getting out of bed. He smiled, listening to Allie grumble about all the clothes on the floor. He thought it best to not get up and scare her, especially since his clothes were part of her problem at the moment.

  “Mia,” Allie called out as she entered the bedroom. Her eyes bulged in surprised at the sight of him in bed with Mia. He lifted his finger to his lips, hoping to keep Allie from waking the woman in his arms.

  “Oh, sorry!” she exclaimed in a hushed voice.

  “Leave the clothes and I’ll meet you out in the living area in a couple of minutes,” he said to her. Allie placed the clothes on the bed and quickly turned around and left the room, closing the door behind her.

  Once she left, he got out of the bed, careful not to wake his sleeping beauty. He regarded her lying on the bed, so peaceful and content. He hated to leave her like that. He wanted to enjoy that moment even more, but he really needed to speak with Allie.

  He rummaged through the clothes Allie had brought and found his pants and white T-shirt and put them on. He quietly left the room, looking at her one more time before closing the door. Allie stood in front of the coffee table, chewing on her thumbnail.

  “What is it, Allie?” he asked, a little concerned at seeing this normally confident, some may also say cocky, woman, looking so uncomfortable.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t take better care of her for you, Ethan. If I’d known about the drugs, I would have told you.”

  He sighed internally. At the beginning of the tour, he had asked Allie to look out for Mia, but he realized now that he may have put too much pressure on her, that he may have asked for the impossible. “I know that. None of this is your fault. Don’t even think about that.”

  “I didn’t know about them until the day she handed them to me and asked me to get rid of them.”

  “When was that?” he wondered.

  “The week we went to Chicago. I think we were in Florida.”

  “Do you think she was taking them between St. Paul and Florida?” he asked, needing confirmation.

  She thought about it for a bit. “Maybe while in St. Paul, and that week after, but later than that, no way. She was different—in a good way.”

  “Tell me,” he said, sitting himself down on the sofa.

  “She wasn’t holed up, all by herself. She was part of the group again. She was laughing, engaging, al
beit with a sad smile on her face.”

  “What was the week like after this whole mess happened?”

  The moment Allie registered the question, Ethan knew she dreaded telling him. She paused in thought before taking a long deep breath. “She was void of any emotion. It was like she wasn’t even in her body. There were arguments between her and Marty. Well, more like Marty yelling at her. She just sat there and accepted it without a word.”

  “When did it start to change?”

  “On the bus ride to Pittsburgh. She slept the entire sixteen-hour drive. There were times you could tell she was struggling with something. But once we got done with Florida, things were different, like I said.”

  Ethan sighed. He wished he could have helped Mia with this, at the very least as a support for her so she knew she wasn’t alone. But she wanted to do this on her own for some reason unknown to him. At least he could make sure she was safe—with the help of the woman in front of him.

  “Please keep an eye on her for me, Allie,” he said sadly.

  “Wait! This . . . I thought, that,” she said, pointing to the bedroom door, “was you two back together.”

  He shook his head. “No, I don’t think so.”

  “Aww, Ethan. Then what is this?”

  “Two people who still love each other, who miss each other. Despite everything, she is my best friend, the woman that I still want to spend the rest of my life with.”

  “How can you do that if you are apart?”

  “I don’t know that yet,” he admitted.

  “You two belong together.”

  “God, I know that,” he said, running his hand through his hair, “but for some reason she doesn’t think she’s good enough or at her best. She doesn’t get that I want her at her very worst and her very best.”

  “Have you said that to her?”

  “Not in those words, no. I wanted to give her a little space.”

  “It’s been a month.”

  “It has,” he agreed. “But I think she needs a little more. I’ve noticed that Mia does things in her own time. So just keep an eye on her. Be there for her. Please.”

  “Okay. I will.”

  “Thank you,” he said, getting up from the sofa and crossing the room to the big floor-to-ceiling window to regard downtown Indianapolis. “I had said that I wanted to talk to you last night, but you disappeared—with someone. Who was it?”

  She had the decency to at least look embarrassed. “Uh . . . I don’t remember his name. Lance? Logan? Lewis? I know it began with an L.”

  He shook his head at her. It wasn’t his right to judge. He’d been in that place before. But he considered her a younger sister. He looked out for his people and didn’t want to see her hurt. “Please be careful, Allie,” he said, returning to the sofa and looking pointedly at her.

  “I always am.”

  “Ethan?” Mia hesitantly called out from the bedroom. He smiled at the sleepy sound of her voice. He really liked it like that. When he didn’t answer, she called out again, this time it was mixed with an edge of panic.

  “I’m here,” he reassured her. “In the living room. We have company.”

  “Who?” she asked. He heard her shuffling around in the bedroom and hoped that meant for some clothes.

  “Good morning, Mia,” Allie piped in.

  “Hi, Allie!” she said happily as she opened the door. Thankfully she put on something besides that sexy, black, see-through nightgown she had on last night. Instead of that lovely article of clothing, she had thrown on a tan, long-sleeved, thermal nightshirt.

  “Hi,” she said, standing near the sofa, working on that lower lip. When she let it go, she shyly smiled at him, making his heart swell with love.

  “Hi, suga. Sit down,” he ordered, patting the seat next to him. She did as he asked, tucking her feet beneath her, her knees brushing his legs. Ethan smiled at her and placed his large hand upon her exposed thigh. Her eyes regarded his hand and he grinned when she swallowed and her breathing quickened.

  Mia turned her eyes from Ethan and shifted her attention to Allie. “You ditched me last night so I came back here with him,” she said, jerking her thumb at Ethan.

  “Yeah,” Allie drawled. “You seem so upset.”

  Ethan had to laugh at that.

  “Not upset at all,” she said, but her face betrayed her words. He saw the torment in her eyes for a moment before she smiled it away. “So . . . this guy . . . was he hot?”

  Allie blushed. “Very hot and, uh, a very good kisser.”

  “Nice! And very good in bed, right?”

  “I so don’t want to be hearing this conversation,” Ethan groaned. “Do you always talk about this stuff?” He wondered if they had ever talked about him. Oh, God, no—he did not want to know the answer to that. Better to be in the dark.

  Allie and Mia laughed at his discomfort. “Don’t worry, Ethan, we will save the specifics for when you’re not around.”

  “Wait! You talk actual specifics?” he sputtered, his eyes narrowing.

  Mia’s eyebrows shot up and then she quickly turned to Allie. “Uh, so, you came here to remind me of my schedule, right?” she asked Allie, ignoring his question.

  “I did. There are some changes.”

  “So, what’s today now look like?”

  “All clear until four thirty,” she said with a smile. Ethan regarded Mia who seemed happy at that news. “Then you’ll have some interviews, meet and greets, which means you have to be ready. All hair and makeup done.”

  “Will you do my hair today?” Mia looked at her beseechingly. “I’ll make sure I’m on time. Promise!”

  “I can.”

  “Thank you!” Mia said, looking genuinely happy and a lot like Kaitlyn when she weaseled something out of Luke.

  “So what time will you be at the arena?”

  “Four, I promise,” she said, lifting up her hand, palm out.

  Satisfied, Allie rose from the chair. “It was nice talking to you, Ethan. See you later, Mia.”

  “Be prepared to dish,” Mia said with a wink.

  Allie chuckled. “Bye, guys!”

  Mia watched Allie leave and continued to stare at the door afterwards. He knew she was lost in thought and hoped she’d share what was on her mind.

  “Whatcha thinking?” he asked, lightly squeezing her thigh. She turned her focus on to him and smiled.

  “That I’m very glad my schedule changed. I was supposed to be pretty busy today. And now, I don’t know what I’ll do with the next seven plus hours.”

  Ethan knew what he wanted to do for the next fifteen minutes or so. “I have an idea,” he said, moving his hand higher up her thigh, beneath the nightshirt. She shivered at his touch, goosebumps erupting on her skin.

  “I, uh, like this idea,” she replied. Her eyes may have been half-closed, but that didn’t stop her wandering hands from sneaking inside his pants.

  This woman without fail always ignited his fire. He was insta-start and she was the match. After pushing her down against the sofa, he yanked his shirt over his head, letting it fly across the room, and then quickly unbuttoned his pants, relieving the ever-increasing pressure on his cock.

  She regarded him with her chocolate eyes on fire with desire. He raked his eyes over her, smiling at how her nightshirt had pooled up at her hips, exposing her nakedness to him. Sliding his hand between her knees, he parted her legs, opening her to his eyes. He worked his mouth up her thigh, feeling her legs twitch against his lips and couldn’t help but tease her wet opening with one finger, tracing around it, occasionally dipping it slightly inside, just to his knuckle, her tortured, little moans turning him on even more.

  He worked the little bud of nerves and she went wild beneath him, her hips bucking to meet him and when he finally inserted a finger completely inside of her, she surprised him by coming almost instantly.

  “Oh, God!” she groaned as he continued to work at her with his finger until she begged him for more. “Please, Ethan. I need
you inside of me. Now. Please!”

  He moved up her body, capturing her lips in a quick, hot kiss before smiling down at her. “Aren’t you impatient?”

  “All your fault,” she replied, pulling him to her, nibbling on his chin before placing her full lips on his and it wasn’t too long before she deepened the kiss, teasing his tongue with hers. He delved into her mouth, teasing right back, exploring, exciting her—and him—even more.

  In one sure movement, he was inside of her, claiming her. She groaned, long and loud, then wrapped her legs around his hips to hold him in place. He didn’t move as she clutched at his back, her nails digging into his skin. Looking down into her eyes, so dark with need for him that they were almost black, he held them with his own as he started to move.

  “Oh, Ethan! More! Please,” she called out, her head falling back against the cushion as her words trailed into one satisfied moan.

  Her hips met his increasingly harder thrusts and when her breathing began to hitch, Ethan knew she was almost there and with a few more strokes, he felt her spasm around him, her moans silenced as she came and came. He drove into her one more time, and with a groan, followed her over the edge, his body quaking from the intensity of their lovemaking.

  Instead of collapsing on top of her, he left her on the couch, grabbed his jeans and hurriedly pulled them up, and headed straight to the bathroom, not uttering a word to her. He didn’t trust himself to speak. He needed a moment. A goddamn freaking moment.

  How could this feel so great, so right? How could she walk away from this? God, he needed to pull it the fuck together. His emotions were all over the damn place. He needed to be calm for her. He didn’t want her to get upset and do something drastic because he couldn’t handle it. Those flashes of unhappiness, the misery he’d seen in her eyes scared him. At times he’d look at her and she barely seemed to be holding on. She had her demons contained so well, but the mental and emotional stress over the past few months had made something snap inside of her.