Mia tugged the sheet tighter to her, yanking it off him in the process, leaving his ass exposed for everyone to see.
“Ass,” she said, before laughing along with him.
After the long day on set, Mia returned to her hotel room, beyond exhausted. Her clothes dropped off as she made her way to the shower. Turning the temperature close to insanely hot, she stepped in. Despite the laughter on set that evening, her mind couldn’t let go of that last time she’d done drugs with Todd. How she wanted the pain to just go away, how she didn’t want to feel anything. As much as she told Ethan that she didn’t want to die, there were times that night when she had wished for it, wished for all the pain to go away.
It was still there the day she found out about Tom’s death. The day she almost took her life. Hell, it was still with her. She had pulled that bitch out and used it and abused it. Now her test—to put it away.
A knock on the door pulled her from her thoughts. Mia stepped out of the shower and ran to the door. Looking through the peephole, she was surprised to see Josh on the other side. She grabbed her robe and hurriedly wrapped herself in it before opening the door.
“Josh, what are you doing here?”
He stepped into her room, closed the door, and turned to regard her. She did the same to him. He appeared freshly showered and in different clothes than what he’d had on when he’d left his trailer.
Taking a few short steps towards her, he stopped, his eyes flicking to her robe before returning to her face. “I didn’t believe you when you said you were fine. So I wanted to make sure you were really all right. Did I make you uncomfortable?”
Hell yes!
He turned her body into an inferno and he didn’t even seem to realize it. Here he was being the concerned co-star and all Mia wanted to do was get freaky with him. She laughed. “No, not in the way you think.”
“What way, Mia?” he asked, taking one more step, overwhelming her personal space. She had to look up to maintain eye contact with him. His face hovered right above hers as he waited for her answer.
Maybe he was more than the concerned co-star, because the electricity she felt was humming between their bodies.
Chemistry.
They had it. And she wanted to explore it.
“The way that makes me want to take off my robe,” she said boldly.
Josh, just as boldly, raked his gaze over her covered body before raising an amused eyebrow at her. “Well, it’s still on.”
She wanted the comfort of being in a man’s arms. Ethan found the comfort of another woman . . . or ten, or a hundred. Why couldn’t she? Why couldn’t she have sex? It had been almost two years. Why was she denying herself this basic, instinctual way to make herself happy?
Mia opened her robe and let it fall to the ground. She’d just found a way to take care of the pain. She chose sex.
Mia
March 2010
Josh and Mia began to spend a lot more time together outside of filming. They often went out to eat together. She wasn’t dumb. She knew they were spotted by people. It was no secret they were in town filming the movie. The locals were all over them and pictures made it to the social networks . . . and then the gossips rags. But Mia didn’t care.
Josh was her companion. She didn’t feel lonely. Plus she was having sex again—a definite positive. Almost two years without it. Never ever again would she have a gap like that.
Sex with Josh was nothing like Ethan . . . Tom . . . or even Luke. It wasn’t bad. It was comforting, which she definitely needed. Mia had run away from her friends—her former sources of comfort—when she moved to California. She missed that companionship and needed it during the next few weeks of shooting.
Mia shot a scene where, after a bad night, Sophia took a shower and thought about the route her life was taking. She’s ashamed of her drug use. She missed Mitchell, her now ex-boyfriend, so much and finally broke down, sobbing in the shower.
As Mia stood in that shower, she tried getting into that state of mind again. You know how that feels, Mia. Think of New York when you couldn’t get back to Ethan because of a freak blizzard. Or when he didn’t come to visit you there. Or when he told you about that whore, Kristen. As she worried those moments in her mind, Mia feared that she wouldn’t be able to put the pain back, that she didn’t have what it took to get past this.
After the scene, Mia remained in the shower, under the pretense of rinsing the rest of the soap off, but while in there, she had her own breakdown, letting the memories of the many times she and Ethan parted ways flood her mind, especially after ending their engagement, when she’d hit rock bottom and all the despair that had consumed and overwhelmed her. With the water cascading over her upturned face, she purged herself of all those tears.
After her cry, Mia placed a hand on the wall as she pulled herself together. A few moments later, she called out for her robe and glasses. She had finally gone to the eye doctor as Ethan had suggested many moons ago. Normally she wore her contacts, but today, she’d needed her glasses.
Her robe was thrown over the bar and she did her best to put it on in the cramped space. Stepping out of the shower, Mia was surprised to find Josh holding her glasses. He stepped forward and slid them over her ears and with his index finger, pushed them up on her nose. Mia looked up at him and couldn’t miss the concern on his face.
“You saw that?”
“You dug deep, hmm?” he asked, wrapping a comforting arm around her shoulder.
“I dug deep,” she said, letting him lead her out and to her trailer.
She curled up on the built-in sofa lounge, raw from that scene. Josh crawled behind and spooned her, holding her tight against him. She had to pull it together. Tonight was the show with the band, as well as her first time seeing Todd in almost two years.
But she was finding it hard to pull herself back.
This was it.
The Test.
What she pulled from was in the past. She needed to tuck it away and focus on this moment. The way Josh kissed her neck, trying to calm her. The way he slowly made her forget with the sensations he created. He pulled at the knot, opening her robe, his fingers caressing her still damp skin. Mia moved beneath his hands, crying out as his touch put the pain back where it belonged.
He slid the robe off her before standing up to quickly remove his clothes. He returned to spoon her, his hand going straight between her legs, causing her to squirm as his agile fingers brought her closer and closer to the peak she so desperately needed. Rocking her hips into him, she felt the rock hard indicator of his desire against her ass.
“Please . . . Josh. Take it away,” she begged.
“Shh . . . I got you,” he said as he lifted her leg a little and entered her with ease, doing what he had been doing so wonderfully the past few weeks—fucking the pain away.
Mia arrived at the venue early. The band definitely needed to do a quick run-through. They hadn’t played together as a full band in almost two years. More importantly, she wanted to see Todd. She hadn’t liked performing without him. He was her rhythm, her spark.
More than that, she missed him.
Running into the club, her eyes darted all over the room, searching for Todd, finally spotting him near the stage. She skidded to a halt in front of him, her eyes quickly going over his body, taking him in.
“Todd.”
“Mia.”
They stood there, staring at each other. The club went silent as the rest of the band and entourage trained their eyes on the two of them.
“I’m sorry,” they said at the exact same moment, which made them laugh, dissolving the tension. She took the step to him and draped her arms around his neck, her face against his. She felt his smile against her cheek as he hugged her tight.
“Welcome back,” Mia said.
“Thank you.”
She kissed his smooth cheek before stepping back to regard him again. He looked leaner, younger—healthier. But his face was still tormented.
&n
bsp; “I don’t know what I would have done . . .” he spoke, the words stumbling out of his mouth. She put her finger to his lips to quiet him.
“Nothing happened. I’m here. You’re here. It was our wake-up call.”
“I never . . . I wasn’t trying to take advantage of you, Mia.”
“I know that, Todd. I was a willing participant. If I hadn’t done that last line of cocaine, we would have . . .”
“Done it?” he said, finishing the sentence for her.
“Yeah.”
“Yeah.”
Their eyes spoke what they couldn’t say out loud. She had thought about it. She had wanted it. So had he. It wasn’t just the drugs talking that night. It was a build up from St. Paul.
Instead of expressing that, Todd surprised her with his next words. “What happened that night will never happen again,” he said.
Mia knew he wasn’t talking about the sex they almost had, even though that wouldn’t be happening either. The after effects of her overdose incinerated any lingering sexual feelings for him. No, Todd was referring to the drugs. Nodding her head, she answered, “I know.”
“You’ve been more than just a friend these past ten years. Losing you . . .”
She knew. Mia didn’t have a large family and her hand-picked one was pretty much all she had. Losing any of them would wreck her. Hell, losing Tom almost killed her.
“I know, Todd. The last couple years without you . . .” she let her words fall off, not wanting to dwell on that. She put on a smile and continued. “I am so glad you’re back. I missed my drummer. My rhythm has been off without you.”
“Thank you,” he said, pulling her to him again and placing his lips on her forehead. With a contented sigh, she left his embrace. He slipped his arm around her shoulders as they walked to the stage. “So, I hear you have a new boyfriend,” he said, the topic change throwing her off-balance.
“No. I don’t.”
He raised his eyebrows in disbelief.
“I just sleep with him. Difference.”
He laughed with gusto. “If you say so.”
Luke
Indianapolis, April 2010
Luke pounded on Ethan’s front door. He and Ethan had made it a habit to try to watch the Pacers’ games together, but tonight Luke was late to watch because Kaitlyn’s mother, Taylor, had been her selfish self yet again. She had the simple job of picking Kaitlyn up from school but forgot. So, he had to leave work to handle that. Nothing ever went smoothly with that woman.
The door swung open and Ethan stood before him. “Dude, so late!”
“Yeah, I know,” Luke said, walking inside. “Taylor.”
“Ohhh . . .” Ethan said over his shoulder as he made his way to the basement bar. “Want a beer?”
Luke nodded, shrugged off his coat, and sat down in one of the four booths Ethan had set up down there. This bar was one of his favorite places to be. Ethan sat across from him and handed him a beer.
“Pacers are down at the end of one,” Ethan informed him.
Damn! He’d already missed a quarter of the game because of the drama with Taylor. “Shit,” Luke exclaimed before asking Ethan how he was doing. He’d been worried about the quarterback ever since he last spoke with Mia. This movie she was doing scared them both. Plus Ethan had broken up with Kristen and had been on a tear since. Mia also appeared to be involved with someone, if the Internet tabloids were to be believed.
“I’m doing good—maybe a little stir-crazy.”
“Told you to get out of this town.”
Ethan laughed. “Trip planned to visit my family next week.”
“Fun. I should do that, but I have to wait until Kaitlyn is out of school because there is no way I’m leaving her with Taylor.”
“I understand. What did your lawyer have to say?”
“Well, I’m suing for full-custody. Kaitlyn deserves better. Hopefully I’ll have her full-time by the start of the new school year.”
“Whatever I can do, just let me know. I want her away from Taylor too.”
“Thanks, man.”
The commercial break was over and the game started back up. About ten minutes later, the pizza came and Ethan went up to get it. While Luke watched the game, he checked his phone and couldn’t help but read a message he’d gotten earlier.
Allie
April 6, 2010 547 PM
I can’t get your message out of my mind.
Luke smiled. The sexual overtones in his texts with Allie had escalated over the past month for which he was grateful. He enjoyed the way her wicked mind worked, though it definitely left him wanting more.
He was about to reply to her text when his phone buzzed. He smiled when he saw it was a text from Mia. They had been texting a lot while she was on the set of the movie. She waited a lot and his job was to keep her entertained. A job he was happy to have.
Swiping at the message, he opened the text and his mouth dropped when he read it.
Mia
April 6, 2010 818 PM
Sex scene time.
He furiously tapped his fingers on the screen, hoping she was joking. She’d told him there would be some nudity, but not how much. He didn’t like the thought of her baring it all for the world to see.
Seriously?
Yeah. Standing in my robe, naked and waiting. Sending a pic right now.
He tapped on the picture to make it larger and he couldn’t help but grin at her smiling face. His eyes then took in the big, pale pink bathrobe that fell to her ankles and wondered what, if anything, was under it.
Goddamn. Are you completely naked under that?
Yep.
Are you sure about this?
Yeah, what’s a few more people who see me naked?
More like a few million.
You’ll like it when you see it. This movie . . . I’m very proud of it.
Even with all these sex scenes?
Yes. It’s not porn, Luke. Don’t worry. I know what I’m doing.
I wish I was there.
Haha! So you could see me naked?
He had gotten over his desire to see her naked years ago, but that still didn’t mean he liked the fact that she was being so casual about her nudity in this movie. So many things seem to be changing with her because of this movie. Chief among them her relationship status. Time to get it from the source.
Uh, changing the topic now . . . I saw something online yesterday concerning you.
What? Spill it.
It was an article linking you and Joshua Carstons romantically.
Oh.
That’s all you have to say?
Do you have the link to the article?
He sent her the link and waited for her response about what the article said.
Wow . . .
Her short response was not what he expected at all. That made him wonder if she was hiding something.
Mia . . .
There is no romance, Luke. Just sex.
Luke didn’t like the sound of that. It made him think back to the last time she slept with someone other than Ethan—right before her overdose.
You need to be careful. Ok?
I am
I’d rather you weren’t having sex.
What? Because I’m a woman?
No. Because you’re my best friend and I don’t want you getting hurt.
I’m not going to get hurt by him.
That’s not the him I’m talking about and you know it.
That is in the past.
Past, Present, and Future
Buzzkill
LOL
Luke laughed and looked up from his phone, hearing Ethan come back with their extra-large pizza. Between the two of them it should be enough. Ethan placed it on the table and popped the top. Luke inhaled the heavenly scent of sausage, peppers, and onions. He glanced down when Mia’s reply came.
He has moved on.
Luke inhaled three slices before replying to her.
That’s not moving on.
He’s not serious about them.
Them? Nevermind.
Aww, fuck, Luke thought when he saw her reply. She didn’t know. Then another text came almost immediately after.
I am not serious about Josh. He’s a friend that I have sex with. Sound familiar?
I’m glaring at you.
I’m not going to be alone for the rest of my life. I can’t do that anymore. I need to live my life. Feel good about myself. Ok?
Whereas he was proud of her for what she had said, it also made him sad. Mia was finally moving on from Ethan.
Ok.
Sex scene. Gotta go. ILY! <3
Luke sighed in frustration—he knew she was running away from that conversation. He flipped his phone over and looked up to find the amber eyes of his other best friend locked on him.
Shit.
Ethan
“Who were you texting?” Ethan asked Luke. Almost the entire time he’d been here, his friend had been on his phone, tapping away. The guilty look Luke gave him answered his question. “Mia.”
Luke nodded. “Sorry.”
Mia.
Her name opened the flood gates of memories. Her smile. Her laughter. Her honey scent. The way she felt pressed up against his body. Her moist, plump lips on his. Each and every time her name was mentioned, this deluge happened, making him ache, miss her, and remember what they’d had together.
An unforgettable love.
Ethan flicked his eyes to the TV and responded to Luke. “It’s okay, man. How is she doing?”
“Still filming.”
“Great,” he said, not meaning that at all. That movie was a sore topic with him. Scared didn’t even cover how he felt about her doing it. He was fucking terrified. He wanted her nowhere near drugs, nowhere near that mindset, but she’d called it a test and was adamant that she had to follow through with it.
“And?” he asked, needing Luke to tell him more.
“Well,” Luke began, scratching the back of his head. “I think I may have said something to her that I probably shouldn’t have.”
Ethan had no clue what this could be, but whatever it was, it didn’t bode well. “I’m not going to like this, am I?”
Still Into You Page 24